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So a couple months ago something happened and the thought has been coming back to my mind quite a bit.
>mood swinging wildly for more than a year for various reasons
>thought about suicide often, never dared to
>one night, feeling pretty far down
>ate a few pills, then a few more, can't remember how many
>remember feeling awful then peaceful and thinking "that wasn't so hard after all"
>go to sleep
>wake up the next morning, not sick but feeling weak
I keep rationalizing it and telling myself it wasn't an actual attempt because I didn't take enough pills, that I didn't actually want it to happen, but whenever I think about it it gets pretty haunting.
No idea what to think about this.
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>>18106026
skellies in the coset
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>>18106039
Got that part sure, but I don't know what to do about it.
Thinking about it feels either shameful or terrifying. I promised a friend that I'd never give up, and now I'm not even sure if I broke that promise or not.
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It's still an attempt, you knew exactly what you would accomplish if you ate too many pills and you went for it. Regardless, hopefully you feel differently and wouldn't try it again. If you regret what you did and are glad that you didn't die, you learned something from it and are better off.
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