ITT: Ask The Opposite Gender Anything

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How do I know if I actually like her and not just being a lonely fuck?

>>18105478
You start to have feelings for her. You start to imagine your future with her(like for example; growing old with her.).

>>18105478
When stuff you like about her looks more like
>the curls in the nape of her neck
>a specific kind of smile or look she gives you
>some quirk other people would find fuck all annoying but you find endearing or even moving
>how easily you can tell her stuff and how much you trust her
>very specific memories/habits/character traits of hers

than
>that she pays attention to you
>that she's a girl
>that other people see a girl paying attention to you
>that you can have sex with her

Basically whether it has more to do with her being a woman or with her being the woman that she is.

My girlfriend is incredibly frigid in bed. We've tried to do stuff but have yet to successfully have sex. We tried once, and while she was enjoying it at first, after I stuck a finger in, she went a few minutes before saying she felt an overwhelming pain for a second, and then freaking out and stopping everything. No real explanation or anything, even she's not sure what happened because I didn't really do anything that should have hurt.

Last time we tried, I couldn't get it in her, it was like no matter how hard I tried to enter her vagina, I was pushing against a wall, just couldn't enter. I think it might have been vaginismus, but she thinks otherwise.

We're going to be trying again next week, is there anything we can do to make it work this time? I'd rather not get her drunk, and we already spend a good 20+ minutes on foreplay.

>>18105496
Yeah she has vaginismus. Give up on sex for the near future and focus on oral. She is not willing to face this conclusion because it is really embarrassing to have something "wrong" with your sex organs as a healthy young person, but vaginismus is treatable.

It is NOT normal for a grown woman to be unable to insert something into her vagina without real pain. Do not force anything, negative associations will only worsen the vaginismus so the more painful memories you give her the more she'll lock up down there. Use your hands and mouths for now and look into getting this treated.

>>18105496
>>18105511
Also wanted to add that given that you managed to get a finger up there for a while at first, that's pretty promising, there's varying stages and she can't have it too badly if you managed to get something up there even for just a while.

>>18105478
Would you still like her if you had other options? Do you ever get annoyed if you're with her for extensive periods of time? Do you crave *her*, or do you crave *someone*?

>>18105496

Are you both virgins? It's understandable it's a bit intimidating at first. Make sure she gets properly wet first. If it doesn't happen, make sure you have lube at hand. Try to make it a more chill event. Pressure and worrying it won't work will only make it more difficult. Sex doesn't have to be serious and scary. Just try to have fun, experiment, fool around. If it doesn't work out, it's not a big deal, because you've got plenty of opportunities to try. Some pain is almost certainly unavoidable, if she's a virgin, but it will be easier if she's properly turned on. If she's too tight and dry, she's not turned on enough. Eat her out, finger her, tease her, whatever. Make her want it. If nothing you try works, go with toys. If you can put a dildo in her first, then moving onto a dick is easier and less intimidating.

For girls:

Ok, so I've been talking with a female coworker for a while now, and we're pretty close I guess. She's never outright said she likes me to my face, but has told other coworkers who have told me "anon, she likes you"

Whenever we're talking or texting or anything, and the subject of us being in a serious relationship pops up (even if it isn't direct, like if i say something along the lines of 'you're really cool' or something dumb) she'll change the subject or try to be dismissive of it.

Why is that? Could she like me but be afraid to admit it for some reason, or does she dislike me and is trying to be nice? I don't get it.

She's also said things like "I hate it when people go too fast in a relationship, I just want to take things slow" but if thats the case, we're moving at snails pace since the most we've done is hold hands when we were walking around and kiss a few times.

>>18105478

Are you a lonely fuck? Like, do you have girls around you besides her? Do you have friends and people to hang out with?

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Should I still approach a girl if she told me that she wants to stay single at least until 29?

>>18105653
If you want a relationship, no. It's like asking "Should I approach a girl if she told me I was lesbian?".
If you want sex, why not?

>>18105493
>a specific kind of smile or look she gives you
That was a big one when I first met her. She also kind of reminds me of how I'm really quiet but when I have to talk I always make note to speak loudly and clearly. But if she didn't pay any attention to me I definitely know I wouldn't be as interested in her.
I've also found myself saying, "Man, I wish more girls were like her" whenever I interact with a girl and she isn't as soft-spoken or doesn't seem as smart as the girl I like. I don't know if that's more telling of me or her.

>>18105520
Probably would rather have her, but I do know I definitely crave *someone* so that's why I'm unsure.

>>18105627
Yeah I am a lonely fuck, but I generally don't like hanging around people too much either. I tend to keep people at acquaintance level of closeness. I have people I interact with at college but I don't talk to or interact with anyone once I'm home outside of family.

>>18105462
So I have a female friend who went through a pretty bad break up and is pouring her feelings and what she has to say to me. I've heard all her problems, tried and am trying to help her get over this break up.

Should I keep on trying or just stop. She's a very close friend of mine. What do I do? She constantly keeps on saying her sadness and feelings to me and I have no further idea on what to reply and I just say "it's okay, anon".

I've told her I'm all ears whenever she wanna say anything but I think she's never gonna stop speaking all of this and how do I deal with this?

Now please also note that I'm not seeing her as a potential girlfriend. She's just a friend of mine. I said this to avoid if any confusion.

>>18105703
>Yeah I am a lonely fuck,

Then you have your answer.

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Hey /adv/ I posted here a few times about the same girl almost broke up once but I feel like the final nail has been driven in finally.

>have gf for 2+ years
>we’ve had our ups and downs, we nearly broke up a year ago because of some issues involving her trying to be controlling of who I saw friend wise (male friend), this issue has been resolved and she never did it again once I talked to her about it.As for the rest of the relationship apart from that point it’s been smooth sailing and fun
>now onto the issue atm
>We have sex causally every week or so
>there have been times when she said she didn’t feel like having sex just before we were about to after some caressing and all that stuff
>I’m cool with it, understanding that she wasn’t the biggest fan of sex
> this happened about an hour ago, but she said something afterwards that really got to me and is making me feel like the relationship itself just tanked
“I just don’t get any feeling from sex”
>she meant in an emotional connection way
>left the room without saying much of anything
>she’s in her room playing videogames

I feel like absolute shit right now, I kind of hoped that she’d at least explain it further as not to hurt me but she just sat there and watched me get dressed and go.

I think I know what I want to do but I really just need some advice before I go through with anything.

>>18105622
Eh yeah it seem sto me like she is kind of justifying her inability to connect faster as a preference. My first thought when I read she dismissed a simple compliment is that she doesn't really know how to receive (let alone reciprocate) real affection. Sounds like she's pretty guarded but does want love.

I'd try to be a bit playful about it but ask - "so is this slow enough for you? or are we not moving anywhere?"
If she keeps weaseling out of answering stuff like that, just drop her and spend your energy on someone else.

>>18105704
I've heard that girls tend to just want to vent and receive empathy while guys look for and give more physical suggestions of how to solve their problems.
Everyone is different, of course, but in my experience when I had a female friend who had a shitty boyfriend, she never once listened to my advice, but she kept calling me just to bitch about him anyway. So I suggest just being empathetic and supportive of whatever she has to say.

>>18105703
>I've also found myself saying, "Man, I wish more girls were like her"
Anon you were quoting and I don't think that's substantial enough. You can appreciate qualities in someone without having feelings for them. Take a look at the more intimate stuff I mentioned. Do you find yourself very interested in everything to do with her? Does she make you feel tender and protective? Do you like anything substantially more as soon as she's around?

>But if she didn't pay any attention to me etc
This is actually really common, don't worry about this specific part. People falling in love is virtually always a sort of "dance" where they take turns showing interest, rather than someone falling in love out of nowhere.

>>18105704
Enough is enough. You tell her: [female friend], I care for you and I'm really sorry that you are going through this, but it's hard for me to listen to all of this all the time. It makes me sad for you while I can't help you and I feel like I've run out of things to say. I am also doubtful that it is only positive for you to rehash this stuff all the time. Can we agree that you vent every once in a while and I try to support you in other ways (distraction) otherwise?

No one in her life is going to put up with this and she should learn when she's asking too much of a friend honestly. Besides it's just depressing, as I mentioned in the example text there are other ways a friend can be supportive, too.

>>18105713
Several options here. For one thing sex is not equally emotionally charged for everyone. So this could be her normal.
Second option is that it used to be a way to emotionally bond, but she stopped feeling that way after she did not feel connected to you during sex. Eg because you crossed boundaries, pushed stuff on her she had no real interest in, did little foreplay and sex was done when you were done etc. In that case the issue is that specifically during sex, you made her feel like you don't care about her and it's numbed how open she is to feeling loved by you during intimacy.
And the third option is that it's a reflection that she has emotionally checked out of the relationship and feels weird being so intimate with you because of that.

Only she can tell you for sure.

Should I refrain from dating or approaching girls if I am insecure?

I'm already doing this to begin with because I can't see how a girl could like me since I'm a boring person, and this falls in line with mantras such as "how can anyone love you if don't love yourself"?

>>18105718
It's hard to explain, but she seems to have a "calming" aura around her despite the fact I get really nervous of her. I overheard her once quoting a song to a friend and for some reason I thought it was adorable.
I also inadvertently show off in front of her, which is different than usual. I tend to force myself to flirt a bit and push through shyness to get to a certain goal (dating), but with her I speak at light speed as if words completely skip my mental filter and jump right out of my mouth trying to be funny and entertaining, all the while fumbling over myself because I was nervous.

this might come as offensive to some people. i really don't inted to offend anybody nor I expect every girl to be perfectly shaven through laser like a supermodel or anything, but I'm really curious

girls, do you actually notice when you have a slight "moustache"? like the hairs on top of your lips? I'm guessing you aren't blind... do you feel conscious about it? When I speak to girls up close I try to pay attention to the lips lately, and I've noticed most have more hair than noticeable at a certan distance. It's equivalent to a teenager boy that has started to develop facial hair. And maybe this is confirmation bias but I feel like Asians have specially lots more, at least the ones in my university

When I notice I find it very unattractive, I don't know if it's out of laziness or if they dont notice/its too much of a hassle to remove it for normal days or whatever. I'm just genuinely curious

>>18105756

Yes, I know I have hair on my upper lip and on my chin too. And no, I don't bother to shave it. It's just hair and when it grows back it will just be sharper and itchy af, so better just leave it. Girls tend to have hair in the exact same places as guys do, it's just lighter and softer. This should not come as a surprise to you.

>>18105768
i obviously know the hair grows in the same places, i guess it surprised me because ive seen it on girls that care enough to shave their legs and arms, i'd have thought that the faces would have a higher priority

>>18105725
I'd say it's either the first or second one, I've never done anything to out there, it's mostly just things she's wanted to try.

I'd say I'm just more concered about the long term effect, I feel from now on I'm also not going to be into having sex with her. It would feel too weird for me to have sex with her if she didn't enjoy it or even feel anything for me during, I know sex isn't everything in a relationship but it's still a pillar in a long term relationship and without it it'll die and wither slowly.

Anyway thanks for the advice anon.

>>18105552
I gave this all some thought and decided I really do need to ask her out. I just let my bad experiences hold me down too much. She never truly rejected my offers to meet up, only rescheduled them because of her university work.

You probably don't care about that but somehow I feel that writing it down will make it a reality

>>18105793
Actually quite pleased to hear that. I hope it goes well and even if not, it's a personal victory against your past. You can't control what happens to you but you can control (to some extent) what you allow it to do to you.

>>18105807
See? That's what I'm talking about. I always think that people care about me less than they actually do. She probably likes me much more than I can see

>>18105713
>be anon
>have a gf for 2 years
>some problems, bot not big ones
>she once says something you don't like
>go straight to 4chan to tell everybody, not even really asking for advice in an /adv/ thread

I kind of know what may be your problem, sir

(1/2)
Hello. I come to you today as a humble man seeking knowledge, so that I may correct my past inaction and free myself of this lingering sorrow. I shall provide a brief summary of the last decade in order for you to better understand the magnitude of my ignorance.

We first learned of each other's existence back in 8th grade when I transferred schools. We also went to the same high school. In my eyes she is the absolute manifestation of perfection. I'm still not sure exactly what it was back then that restrained me from even talking to her in person.

If we continue on to present day, I'm in my early 20's, haven't been remotely interested in anyone else since, and have come to the conclusion that I cannot move on. I've tried to learn from my mistakes and move on, but the longest I've gone without thinking about this situation is a little less than a month.

Just last night I had a horrendous nightmare that something terrible had happened to this woman. I don't remember exactly what happened, but she may have fallen victim to a fatal illness. In the dream I remember giving up on life, and then I suddenly awoke terrified. I had to remind myself that it was only a dream. This isn't the first nightmare I've had in relation to this subject, and I fear it will not be the last.

The only time I tried establishing communication between us was quite a pitiful attempt that I would rather not tell anyone about. However in the interest of fully explaining my plight, I will inform you that I sent one message stating "hello". I would also have you know that message never received a response possibly due to both of us being reserved individuals, or for some inexplicable reason that I may never know.

I'm not completely sure what I should do as I'm extremely reserved in public. The only solution I have devised is to ask her to accompany me to a place we can learn more about each other at the next class meeting for our high school.

>>18105836
(2/2)
What are your thoughts of my situation? You can ask me anything you wish, and I will answer it to the best of my ability so long as it does not inquire about personal details.

>>18105836
Absolutely euphoric.

Should I bother with seeking a relationship in college when I focus the majority of my time on academics? I'm also in my last year, should I just wait until I am out of college?

>>18105836
>don't really know the girl, she's just incidentally in the same school
>wrote her 'hello' once
>had one nightmare
so I take it you wish to become her prince, and the rest of usual shit.
Then, as you should have learned from thousands of exactly same problems posted here daily, you should go and talk to her
what is so hard for you people to get such basics?

>>18105858

College is the number one easiest place to get in touch with potential partners. Most people attending are near same age and you have some common ground (being students), so it's a good place to start. It gets tougher once you're out, unless you've decent social skills. So I'd recommend giving it a shot now, rather than later.

>>18105860
>don't really know the girl
yes

>wrote "hello" once
yes

>had one nightmare
Your reading comprehension needs work.

>become her prince
No. I'm not interested in anyone else. I've tried to leave the past in obscurity, but I cannot forget.

>you should go and talk to her
That is my plan, but I'm not in the U.S. currently.

>>18105873
it's not the reading comprehension, just a plain lack of interest.
all in all you made a fine and elaborate story of how you know one stranger and you ask us how to make that stranger become your bride.

that's what I an unsound mind.

>>18105842

So, if I'm to understand this correctly, you're obsessed with a woman you knew once years ago, haven't seen since or never even talked to? How do you know you even like her or some fantasy image of her you've created in your mind? The whole premise of this seems just weird af. If she didn't respond to your message the first time, then why would have anything changed now and why would she develop sudden interest in you out of nowhere? What if she's got a boyfriend? Have you actually thought about this from her side of things or are you just consumed by your obsession with the idea of her?

>>18105880
>lack of interest
Then for what reason are you even responding?

>that's what I an unsound mind.
I always welcome criticism whether it be positive or negative, but I would appreciate if the criticism could at least be delivered in coherent sentences.

>>18105896
>Then for what reason are you even responding?
plain boredom. Also, once in a while I just go irate enough when reading the same nonsense again and again.

>coherent
what I *call
and don't tell me you couldn't infer that from the context.

The other anon grasped the situation well

>>18105887
>So, if I'm to understand this correctly, you're obsessed with a woman you knew once years ago, haven't seen since or never even talked to?

Yes.

>How do you know you even like her or some fantasy image of her you've created in your mind?

In all reality I do not, but I stick to the traits (e.g. intelligence) that I remember. I cannot move on because I've never met anyone else I could show a genuine interest in knowing more about.

>why would have anything changed now and why would she develop sudden interest in you out of nowhere?

She had an interest in me at one point. I know because her friends told me about it, but I was simply too timid to do anything about it at the time.

>What if she's got a boyfriend?

Then I'll have no other option, and I will have to move on.

There is this girl in one of my classes and I think she might like me? We've been talking for maybe 3 months give or take and she's been acting weird lately. She stares at me, sometimes when I catch her she'll look down at my chest or the ground sometimes she'll just stare into my eyes for maybe 7 seconds or so, it feels so much longer than that though. She sits next to me too.

She randomly started to tell me to "Stop" or "Shut up" When I've not said or done anything. She'd say it in a sarcastic or maybe a flirty(?) tone. She'd giggle/smile afterwards

She's always offering to help me with shit even when I don't need/ask.

Recently she started asking my opinion on clothes she thought about buying. She asked which ones I liked.

Some days she'll seem really into me and other days she seems dry or casual.

Are girls always just hot and cold about things?

>>18106049
Because you aren't doing shit.
Do you like her? Make a move. Ask her out. Flirt.
If you don't, just talk to her less.

>girl winks at me but with straight face, no smiling, in class

what did she mean by this?

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So after like a month of trying I got something. I asked this girl if she wanted to hike, rather than hang out for a twist. She said she couldn't, but would love to work out with me. Its been a week since that text. Would today be a good time to ask if she wants to do a quick evening hike or what?

I know I should keep my doors open, so I plan to get tinder if this doesnt lead anywhere, although a workout buddy is pretty nice.

Any idea if this might lead anywhere?

>>18106115
she fullfilled her part of the plan. Now your path is clear to kill the president Rifle's on it's place, nobody suspects a thing

really, some people are pretty disingenious

>>18106097
I flirt back yeah, I kinda like her...but she is in a declining relationship..would it be smart to get involved?

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my sister has been talking about wanting to make her butt bigger for like 3 months now. we're both obnoxiously tall and skinny (she's 5'11 & 100 pounds) so she is kind of flat but is it normal for sisters to talk about their butt shapes around their brothers without having some ulterior motive. like she talks about butt exercises ALL THE TIME as well as saying stuff like "if i wasnt so flat i'd look better in this" etc

im 22 & shes 25

>>18106341
might not be completely normal, but don't even think about it homie.

>>18105462
How do I convince a girl to report her being sexually harassed to the police and/or tell her family?

>>18106027
>then I will have no other option, and I will have to move on.
Why don't you do that now? In all honesty, this is a long shot, and I don't mean TV show long shot where you pull it off in the end. If you're not in the US and its really you know literally nothing about this person or their experiences anymore

Do girls get mad when they find out a guy they don't like is attracted to them?

>>18106384
Mad is the wrong word I think. Depends mostly on the girl. Pity? Disgust? Happiness? Indifference? Take your pick.

>>18106373
>Why don't you do that now?

I've tried.

>>18106384

No. Either they don't give a fuck or just feel awkward about it.

>>18106373
Also I've never been one to give up before at least making an attempt. I don't really care if it's a long shot, I'm still going to try. If she's not interested then, and only then will I move on.

As a gay bottom male who strictly takes it up the butt and in the mouth, I find that 4 inches is okay, 5 inches is good, 6 inches is great, 7 inches is phenomenal, and 8 inches and up are too painful.

But despite this, I see propaganda everywhere stating that 4-5 inches are "tiny," 6-7 inches are "okay," and 8 inches are "good," and 10 inches are ideal to women. Is this at all true? Or does this propaganda exist to just attack the weak ego's of men?

>>18106470
Question is meant for women btw obv.

>>18106143
Any help here lads?

>>18106384

Based on personal experience, yes.

Even the nice ones who seem to like me turn completely and viciously, when they've found out or even guessed/suspected I liked them.

I've learned never to show anything that could even be considered "affection". Straight up I ignore and distance myself from women. Like if they get to close I'll literally move a few steps back or nudge away on my seat.

I'd prefer they think I'm an asshole than a "creep" who likes them.

It's like they are literally offended that scum like you could ever even hope to end up with their high horse better-than-you ass.

Before anyone says it, I'm not mad about being rejected, more about how it's done. Goddamn, at least treat me like a goddamn human being.
You say "sorry, you're not my type" I'll get that completely, different strokes for different folks.
But what they do instead is treat your very existence as some sort of insult.

Fuck that shit.
I'd honestly recommend never making a move and letting our species die out over this shit.
God knows they'll never make any moves, they're scared that maybe we're just like them.

So I think I just had a small fight with a girl iv'e been dating.

>been trying to meet but she has been busy
>says she be free sat
>call her up and say we should see a movie
>says she is feeling awful and tired
>see her at work the next day
>overhear her saying how bad she felt the previous day (guess it was true)
>asks me if we are still seeing movie
>walk to car give her a few kisses, tell her to call me when she would be free to see movie
>she texts me a time the next day
>doesn't work for me so I say a later time
>shes cool it with
>1.5 hours till
>hop in shower
>get dressed
>getting ready to leave in 15 mins
>get a call
>says sorry she is gonna have to raincheck
>her boss/landlord is throwing a sudden party and uses her apartment as an additional host
>she has told me about this on previous dates and how she hates her landlord
>she says sorry and when my next day off is
>we talk a for a sec trying to figure out another plan
>tells me we can talk about it tomorrow cause she has to get cleaning
>I go "mhmmm"
>she goes was that a "mhm or mhmmmm"
>i say "look, everytime we try to get together something comes up"
>say says "ok whatever idc anymore" and hung up

Do I just move on?

>>18106536
Play some Drake and hop into your whip and pick her up and go to a view and talk. I wish I did this with her when we argued.

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Girls:
I have seen quite a few women in these threads that say they're not attracted to muscular guys when asked. But if that's true, how come this is on the cover of every romance novel?

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I remember watching my big brother play dark cloud use the little cat girl all the time going AY AY AY AY when she shot her slingshot
>fast forward 10 years brother asks for help with computer
>tons of furry cat ladys and anime cat girl porn
remember all the cat eared anime and video game characters.
does having a dick keep a man from just liking cats or does it become pet play stuff eventually?

>>18106618
im not other girls but I prefer a flat or flabby-ish stomach and strong arms and legs and a strong chin, but im more into how a guy behaves.

>>18106618
No shit. Women bitch about men wanting a "barbie" doll because it's everywhere. It's in movies, magazine covers, commercials, even cartoons (Jessica Rabbit). But clearly women do the exact same thing. Romance novels are proof. That us what they truly want. They are just readily to settle for much less.

Question for girls: If a guy asks you out, and you say no, do you literally mean it, or did you mean something else?

I'm not very experienced.
What is the alpha way of a guy asking a woman out, and the most beta way?

I always go for "Would you like to go for a coffee" and ask them out on a date on that coffee meet. Would it work better to outright ask her out? Confident or coming too strong?

Girls

What does it mean when the same girl keeps looking at me? I mean, I see her almost everyday, not socially, b/c I don't know her, at all. I know of her, and she knows of me. We talked here and there and lately I've been avoiding her for the longest time. Why? b/c I did ask for her number two years ago and that hit a brick wall real fucking fast. And yet, she keeps making eye contact with me. She's a solid 7 and I know for a fact she has a bf. I doubt she likes. I don't fucking know.

>>18106704
I mean something else im not good with direct stuff like because im pretty shy that also im pretty committed with school and would feel dating somebody would be unfair due to no time to spare for them unless I lived with them or something.

>>18106705
I love purposefully cheesy pick up lines and something casual like out for coffee or to a park is nice, also dont get too nervous because thats my job

>gf constantly complaining about one thing or another
>almost always "I feel x from you" with no real explanation as to why she feels that way or how I can help
>either that or a wild far reaching assumption based on something I've said it done that's only remotely related (ex: starts a fight with me because she assumes I'll never take the trash out when we're living together because I wanted to wait an extra day to do it at my own place)
>I feel exhausted from all the issues and start needing more time for myself
>explain this to her
>she seems to get it
>issues then arise because I need the time for myself to rest from constant fighting

It feels like I can never get a break.

How do you explain the concept of "I need more time to myself the more pointless fighting there is" to a girl?

>tfw in love with my best friend and have been aware of it since mid December
>she had a bad break up around then and is just now-ish starting to get over him
>She's thinking about other guys and complaining about how much attention she's getting (seriously some of the shit that happens to her is weird)
>Want to tell her how I really feel but don't want to just be another guy to her
>She's got family, school, and stress issues going on right now and I don't know if it's right to just go for it or miss my window
>Have to put on a stone face when she complains to me about these other guys while I'm dying inside
>Just thinking about her and typing this out gets my heart racing
>tfw I'm constantly worried about messing up with her and end up not talking to her as much
>Feel like I'm going to lose her when I probably never had a shot in the first place
What do I do?

>>18106801
Also forgot to mention that I'm going to try and head to counseling later this week to figure out what this anxiety I'm feeling is. I've had it since around middle school (I'm a college sophomore now), and when it comes to girls or parties I get very stressed and uncomfortable until I can calm down and reach my comfort level. At this point I'm tired of feeling this way and want to do something about it, and I don't want to prevent myself from taking a chance with my best friend. I'm thinking it's GAD or SAD, but I won't know till I go to counseling.

>>18105736
>Should I refrain from dating or approaching girls if I am insecure?

I'll put it this way, you can't make a home run if you never step up to the plate and swing.

>>18106363
>How do I convince a girl to report her being sexually harassed to the police and/or tell her family?

Not a female, but having had a few rape victims be in my life, you pretty much don't. You be supportive, you let them know you're there and are a helping hand if they need it, but you also affirm that they have the strength to move forward and take care of themselves.

What you do NOT do is become hysterical, try to make this a fucking huge thing, coddle them, treat them like they can't take care of themselves, and like they are made of porcelain.

A lot of times, half of what makes things like that so traumatizing is the feeling of being powerless and of not being able to be in control. So when someone tries to "fix" things by taking over their lives and telling them what to do in their "best interests", it can just intensify the feelings that made it all so traumatic in the first place.

>>18106651
>does having a dick keep a man from just liking cats or does it become pet play stuff eventually?

You're trying to use logic to pick apart fetishes. Save the brain cells and just leave it at fetishes are fetishes.

Been dating a girl for a few months, I stole her away from her online boyfriend.
>She still hasn't told him
>She has introduced me to her family as her boyfriend
>recently took her virginity

She keeps leading this guy on, his life is kind of a mess and she thinks he might kill himself if she tells him. What should I do?

>>18106783
from what you write it seems she won't getthe concept.
Looks like some severe insecurity/schizophrenia.
Abandon this ship or prepare for a fuckton of fightng to get over it, most probably with a help of a specialist

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>>18106801
Are you me? I was in this same situation but have the social skills of a fucking turbo-autist so I didn't really have a chance. But I still went with it.

We no longer talk to each other....But hey, just do it, Even if things don't go your way, it's better than standing around waiting for something to happen, letting the anxiety eat you up inside.

Did it sting? Yeah, but the pain slowly fades and is overlapped by other pains

Just don't be a dick about it.

>>18106808
Well, I guess this confirms it, you're me.
Get checked to see if you're "on the spectrum"

>>18105496
ky ultragel
might help, no guarantee.

>>18105653
>29
bit of a red flag if at 29 she isn't already in a normal relationship.. she could just mean "i wanna fuck randoms and settle down at 29", which is way worse imo, not serious about herself at all, or anybody genuinely interested in her... that is, if you really ARE interested in her, and it isn't merely a physical attraction. If a girl gave me a time frame in which she isn't serious, only to tell me exactly when she will be, like she's some egg waiting to hatch, I'd be concerned too.

Your choice though..

>>18106877
but on second though, who knows, maybe she's more special than even I can assume..

I just got admitted to law school. Would being a law student up my SMV? I want to make up for the lack of game I had during my undergrad and wanna play the Tinder field.

>>18106816
She should just break it off with him (she doesn't have to tell him about you for his own sake), then she should just block him from everything.

With the suicide thing, not to be rude, but that is not her burden to bare. If this guy's life is fucked up, he would probably commit suicide over some other shitty thing that happened. It wouldn't be her fault.


I'd say have her write a meaningful break up letter. In which she is uplifting but also serious about the break up. Ending with something like, "Your life will get better. Be strong and I wish you the best." And blocking him is key. And hopefully this guy doesn't know her address because that could be a whole other issue.


What does your gf think? That she's just gonna be in a long term online relationship on the side forever with this guy just so his feelings don't get hurt?


It's either that retarded logic or she still wants to keep this guy in the circle just in case you two don't work out. Honestly, LDRs are fucking ridiculous and end up so fucking extra because people do shit like this.

>>18106892
Her current solution is to slowly reduce contact until he loses interest. I guess they had been internet friends for quite a few years prior...I think this whole thing is slightly ridiculous. I have his contact information if this goes on much longer I think I will just tell him myself.

>>18106341
Tell her she's fine just the way she is and to stop obsessing over it.

Dude, recently I fell hard af for a girl who is pretty flat, but her personality sucked me in so hard that it didn't matter. I was blown away by her.

Just tell your sister the right guy will notice her for HER, and not even bring up something like that.

Girl I know is acting weird to me.
We've been casual friends for a long time. A few months ago, she visited my city after moving away
We really hit it off while she was here.

To be honest, I kinda had a crush on her for a while after. But I didn't say anything because she's in a relationship and she lives across the country now.

The other day she messages me and says she's thinking about me. I reply.
Nothing back.

Now, my intuition is saying that she felt the same way about our last meeting as I did. That we had a connection. But she didn't say anything until now for the same reason I didn't. Because circumstances didn't allow for it
But she did say something. And she said something that was very hard to interpret any other way.

The fact that she hasn't replied makes me think that she may have been drunk or something when she sent it and now she is regretting reaching out.

Should I say something? Just like a "What's up? How are you feeling?"
I know she's going through a tough time now and maybe this is something I can do that really helps

>>18106834
>just do it
The two main things stopping me are losing my best friend (not that I can't live without her, but I really don't want to lose her as a friend. Though I think we'll be friends afterwards.) and I'm not sure if now is the right time, with everything going on for her. I'm going to try for a date (which is going to rev up my anxiety), see how that goes, and report back here.

>Check to see if you're "on the spectrum"
Pretty sure I'm good and it's just an anxiety disorder (which is probably coupled with some form of depression). But because I got nervous I decided to take a test. 14 out of 50, little to no autistic traits.

Women

Would you fuck a twink?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=twink

As a guy seeing a girl for the last couple of month, I have this feeling that I shouldn't trust her whether from past relationships or just based on who she is. I don't ask but she emphasizes that she tells me everything, she is somewhat private with everyone but tells me a bit but for some reason I still have my doubts.

What can I do to test this, or is there a way I can get past this?

I just don't trust people and don't know what they want, I find this hard when I can't read them. what do?

>>18107010
Yep.

>>18107028
I always like to take the stance that a person is trustworthy until they prove otherwise.

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>>18106725
Maybe she's looking at you because you're looking at her? Generally, people are not as sneaky as they think.
t. guy who wears mirror shades fucking everywhere.
>>18106783
A suggestion: just stop listening and start surprising her. It's a gamble that can go hard either way. Essentially, distract her from the present by taking charge of the situation and changing it. But like I said, this can go either straight to splitting up or deeper attachment, personal experience.
>She starts complaining about something
>Leave room
>Return with a whole cheesecake and two forks
>"You want some?"
>or boop her nose
>or something

>>18106801
You're a friend and you want to be more. How long have you been a friend? Because you might very well be in the friend zone. And yeah, good luck. If this is strictly a platonic love thing, just do like you would another friend: care.

>>18106816 & >>18106900
You run. She wants you to rescue her. She will use another guy to rescue her from you as soon as she is done. You do realize that she has already proven to you a complete lack of loyalty, honesty, and courage, right?

>>18106886
Naw, you right.

>>18106955
Leave her be. Assuming you read her right, she's fishing for attention. Her other relationship might be on the rocks and she is testing the waters. Or she is just a straight up attention whore.

>>18107028
The essence of all relationships is giving someone the power to hurt you and trusting that they won't. By carrying on your relationship, that's your test. Don't go setting bizarre traps and schemes. But use more words, I think I misunderstood some of your original post. Does she over-emphasize that she tells you everything?

How can I get the bf to be more sexual?

>>18107237
>You're a friend and you want to be more. How long have you been a friend? Because you might very well be in the friend zone. And yeah, good luck. If this is strictly a platonic love thing, just do like you would another friend: care.
We've been friends for about a year now. She's had a boyfriend for 9 months of that time and was away for about a month afterward. It ended really badly and she torn up about it to the point where she said she wanted to just end it but wouldn't.

If I don't have confidence as a man, should I just give up?

ok. male here
I'm pretty much an ugly loser, but i have an instagram and i upload random shit
the thing is that, this really qt girl i know from HS started following me, so i said, how are you, and she didnt reply in all day
what the fuck
explain this

Girls, what was your libido like when you were younger? How has it changed since then?

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>>18107367
My libido has been crazy every since sixth grade. Ever since the first orgasm, I started dry humping just about everything. Years later, birth control didn't calm it down, having sex didn't calm it down, and having multiple orgasms in a single day just made it worse. After I got a long distance bf, somehow I kind of shifted and lost a good deal of my libido because I wasn't willing to cheat on him. I hardly masturbate now and my libido's gone way down compared to how it used to be, but it's still higher than his so there's still problems

Tomorrow, I'm visiting class. After that, I'm going to ask my old crush out for coffee.

How do I not spaghetti all over the place when class finishes and I ask her out? Do I just say "let's go out for coffee" or just ask her in question form? What should I talk about with her while we sit and drink?

pls help, am dying of thirst.

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>>18107374
>long distance relationship

>>18107384
Yeah it's not ideal and kind of contradicts how I felt about long distance relationships (and relationships in general) before I met my current bf

Is there any way I can stop myself from becoming infatuated with my FWB? I met this guy pretty shortly after my ex dumped me and it was supposed to be a super casual, no strings attached sex thing. In the beginning I didn't have any romantic feelings for him at all but lately I've found myself liking him more and more.

The reason I don't want to get serious is because
a) he doesn't seem to want anything serious and i don't want to get my heart broken again
and
b) i'm trying to do this thing where i don't rely on a relationship to be happy

>>18107340
It depends, I can only speak for myself and my friends, but some amount of masculinity is usually warranted for attraction to happen. Although if it helps, personality takes priority over appearance in most cases. I know of at least two of my friends that are in relationships with people that aren't neccessarily their type, but they make it worthwhile in other ways. If you aren't some acne-ridden cavetroll and look decent enough to be walked down the street with, you're in the green. Just ~Be Yourself~, don't worry about your confidence as a man, worry about you confidence as a person first and foremost.

>>18107355
Is the account created recently? If you connect your instagram with fb, all of your friends automatically get followed, so it might've been an unconscious decision on her part, chill dude

>>18107395
i dont have facebook
what is going on i dont want to be a creep

>>18107390
>Is there any way I can stop myself from becoming infatuated with my FWB?
Stop fucking him

>>18107403
Ugh but the sex is so good. But I know this is the only way. Maybe I'll give it a little bit longer and if I seriously start """"falling in love"""" I'll cut it off.

>>18107010
Of course

>>18107379
Ask her the standard questions, how have you been, what have you been up to ettc. If she avoids you at this stage she's probably not interested in any further contact with you. If you continue to get engaged responses it should be pretty easy for the convesation to evolve naturally from there to a "want to grab a coffee now/sometime" or however you want to phrase the question itself.

Don't get too upset if she refuses though, she might've just wanted to be polite, but trying to build up a comfortable conversation is a good first step. Sperging out and throwing the question out of nowhere is pretty off-putting. Best of luck to you

>>18107240
viagra.
or just walk around naked more often near him.
you can try masturbating and letting him catch you doing it.
just surprise him, grab his dick from behing and press up against his ass.
freaky shit like that.
might work.

Girls (specifically bi or lesbian),

How would you feel about dating a bi curious girl?

>>18107407
>and if I seriously start """"falling in love"""" I'll cut it off
But by then, you really won't want to.

But seriously, analyze why you like this guy. Every time you fuck him, you get a rush of oxytocin coursing through your body. Is really a great guy you're compatible with, or are you just getting hypnotized by that sweet, sweet, dick.

>>18107415
It's definitely the dick. He's a nice guy but there's a lot of reasons we wouldn't be compatible long term. I mean the entire reason I started a sex-only relationship with him in the first place is because I couldn't see myself seriously dating him.

Guess I can't logic away my emotions though.

Women.

Do you find it weird or annoying if someone tries to approach or text you out of the blue?

I really want her to reply ;_;

For anybody

This girl I have been talking to on OKC types in really broken english, at first I thought she was cat fishing me because she appearntly doesnt have a phone but she let me add her on Facebook and her account has been active since 2008.

The broken english thing was really bugging me though so I straight up asked and she said she was dyslexic.

My question is, is she.... well you know retarded?

>>18107402
She might have just wanted to know what some old acquaintances are up to, going through the "people you might know" section or whatever its called on instagram. I don't know, the fact that she hasn't replied means she probably didn't expect a reassumed contact to happen. I would advise you to not write again if you don't want to be a creep, especially if it has already been 'viewed'

>>18107411
I'd be up for it, but living in a small town and being bi usually equates to me only dating guys. I'm fine with it, but then I've had sexual contact with girls before so curiosity isn't really playing a part.

>>18107419
If you want to try to keep on having that sweet dicking, try to cut off any uneccessary contact, no cuddling, kissing etc. It's hard and the two friends I know that tried this tactic are currently in a realtionship with her former FWBs.

>>18107422
Yes

>>18107419
Not saying you can't keep banging him, but we can't always have our cake and eat it too.

Then again, a lot of successful relationships are built off mutual trust and respect more than complete compatibility. At least consider that going forward.

>>18107422
no, having the confidence to start a conversation is always attractive

>>18107409
So, in essence, while I'm in class, find ways to talk to her about how shit's going and basically the weather, tv shows, how work is and whatever? THEN at the end, ask her for coffee?

I mean, I had the demeanor of not sperging last time, but I can only hold that facade for so long.

The only thing I need help with in the talking department is everything else. I talk about the weather lately, but I don't know how to go from there without making myself seem sperglordy. If you have any icebreakers or topics, pls throw them my way.

Well, anyway, thanks! I'm halfway ready to do it.

>>18107411
as long as i dont feel like an experiment or to look edgy, im fine with it

>>18107428
We already don't text that much and only see each other once or twice a week. The low level of contact is definitely helping me in not falling too hard.

>>18107429
>a lot of successful relationships are built off mutual trust and respect more than complete compatibility

Yeah, I'll try to keep this in mind moving forward. My ex and I had a LOT in common--more than I've had with any other guy--but I always felt like I was taken for granted. I guess that's why ultimately we didn't work out.

>>18107428
No it doesnt said viewed
but she uploaded a video recently

>>18107433
The weather is kind of a dead-end as far as conversation goes, since it doesn't really build onto another conversation subject. It's mostly a statement which can be followed up by a short answer. Try to talk about her, since it requires you to do the least amount of talking, follow up with some question about the actual subject and try to build off from there, filling in some details from your own side of things to make it feel less like an interrogation perhaps.

As far as icebreakers I'm not really sure, not really my forte and in my experience anything too planned-ahead of time is usually a bit stilted an inorganic. You could start off with some question regarding the class in some way, if you've had contact before and haven't seen eachother in a while say something along the lines of "hey, we haven't seen eachother in a while". Some shared experience, and some anecdote or statement about that. Always try to find a way to build off of the previous conversation, and don't throw out something unrelated that just pops into your head (happened to me alot in my immideate post-bullying life, can confirm that it does NOT work).

For girls

This girl Ive been talking to on OKC has just completley opened up to me, telling me how her father has died and shes suffering from depression after an abusive ex.

How should I proceed? she asked me out and honestly im lonely as fuck myself.

>>18107467
I'll do that at some points in the class. I'm no pro at talking, but she always seems to cling on to me since I graduated. I never asked her about any other way to contact her, because let's be honest, I think that's creepy to ask for her number.

I digress, but thanks again. It's hard for me to talk like a person since I was a recluse for 8 months until I got my job, and eventually gained some form of social skills.

>>18107484
Ah no worries, I'm glad to help.

Since I was a social outcast for like 10 years during my childhood I 've probably spent an unhealthy amount of time trying to act and speak like there wasn't and hadn't been anything wrong with me, so if any of that cringey period of my life can be of use to anyone I'm happy.

Well as previously said, I hope things work out for you and good luck!

>>18106143
Bumping again. Just looking for some pointers or if I should just drop her.

>>18107470
bump

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So I've been dating a guy for little over a month.

Went through his facebook profile and it seems he broke up with his ex pretty recently.

They apparently made it "facebook official" in july, now they're both listed as single. They still apparently share a netflix subscription.

Not sure how to handle this.
While I'm not *in love* with him, I do like him, and don't like the idea of being a replacement goldfish.
Should I ask him about it at all?

>>18107562
Since you've been dating for a month I think it's fair to ask and find out where they stand.

>>18107562
>facebook-official
Hah, I forgot that was a thing.
As for the Netflix subscription, sharing that doesn't mean much. I still use my ex's Netflix account, and while I'm grateful for her sharing it with me it doesn't mean anything beyond that.

As for being his replacement goldfish, I'm not sure what you mean. Almost all of us are looking to move on from someone we broke up with and move on to the next person. Some people do this because they didn't find who they were going to be with for the rest of their life quite yet, and others have ADD as far as relationships are concerned and want a new toy every month. As for what kind of guy he is, you have more information about that than we do.

>>18107470
I'd go for it, but watch out for red flags. She may just feel she needs to warn you. Of course, if depression isn't something you're willing to deal with, don't go for it.

>>18107571
What I mean is, I'm not sure whether he's moved on and is genuinely interested in a new relationship, or if he's with me just because she's currently unavailable to him. From something he mentioned, I get the impression that she's the one who dumped him.

>>18107579
What Redflags should I watch for mostly?

>>18106734
>I mean something else

This is a problem.

No literally means NO. It has no deep meaning, it's not code for "try harder", and it will never mean YES.

If you say no, then I fuck off. Always, because I have to.

>>18107411
>How would you feel about dating a bi curious girl?

Not female and not gay, but to quote my best friend who is both (because this has actually come up at some point lol).

Casual fling: Yeah, maybe.
Relationship: Hell fucking no. Too easy to get burned with they flip-flop and get wishy washy.


>>18107427
>The broken english thing was really bugging me though so I straight up asked and she said she was dyslexic.
...
We're in 2017 bro... Is this seriously a question?

No.

>>18107562
>So I've been dating a guy for little over a month.

Unless you're like 15, you've got history and baggage. Hell, even people who have NEVER been in a relationship will probably someone in their past that they could consider of significant impact (even a one sided crush can be a big deal to some people).

I don't know anything about you, and I don't know anything about him, but just going off of what you've written so far makes me think you're going to have to take a good look at yourself and truly decide:

Are you the insecure type?
Is there actually anything legitimate for you to be worried about, or this your own neurosis fucking with you?

Trusting your gut can be good, but only if your head isn't fucking with you.

>>18105717
>>18105720
Erghh...both of you are saying 2 opposite things to do. So I guess I'll just be empathetic for a while and then say that "Honestly my friend, I've run out of things to say and it is hard for me to listen to all this and I'm sorry that youa re in this."

Th..this is fine right?

>>18106801
holy fuck man are you literally me? you're describing the exact same thing that happened to me,but its a fucking girl over the internet. including the timing (mid december) anxiety and feeling like its a hopeless situation.

you need to make your mind up about your feelings man. if you like her, then just try to find a good situation to tell her. there's no downside. if you get rejected then it sets the foundation for you to get over your feelings and move on. if she likes you then maybe something good comes of it.

i ended up not doing this though, and of course she eventually dates somebody else. while i feel like shit myself and sadness because i want to be the one to talk to her. if you dont make a choice to say something then she eventually WILL find somebody else man. then you will be stuck in the cycle of self hating and feeling like shit over it.

if you cant bring yourself to say anything then you need to create healthy distance and your feelings will kind of mute themself. but thats not a real solution. your feelings are still lurking below the surface.

so when it comes down to it you just need to say something man. dont worry about the outcome. dont complicate things by thinking too much. if you say how you truly feel without hindering it then it will be natural. it doesnt matter what happens either way. but you will be able to move forwards if you do that.

>>18106801
>>tfw I'm constantly worried about messing up with her and end up not talking to her as much
>>Feel like I'm going to lose her when I probably never had a shot in the first place

In my experience, it's best to not let this shit sit.

If you TRULY value your friendship, and regardless of what happens with the potential relationship stuff, you still want to keep being friends

Just honestly talk to her about what you feel.

How you truly care about her
How you're concerned about her stress load
How you've been realizing you might be feeling something more for her, but you've been keeping this inside because you don't want to lose her as a friend or burder her with this shit
but how you feel like you have to talk about this now because those bottled up emotions are also making you feel like you might start drifting soon and you don't want that because you value the bond you have too much

You don't have to try to find a yes or no, because this shit is intense as fuck and will probably overwhelm her (it's clearly overwhelming you, so it'd be unfair to expect her to not be), but if you truly are her friend, and she truly feels the same way, then you should both be able to find some way to work this out and AT LEAST maintain that friendship n the end.

If it doesn't work out, and it devolves in to awkwardly drifting apart, I'm sorry to say you probably weren't as close friends as you thought you were, and this rift was kind of inevitable.

Better to know the truth and take a minor sting, than delude yourself with a lie and then get burned to a crisp for it.

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please help me someone, you can be a guy or a girl I don't care. Each gender probably has a unique opinion on this anyways.

My boyfriend told me that if I wanted sexual success in the relationship, I had to be more coy and a tease.
What the fuck does this mean? And how do I achieve it?

Backstory:
his libido is lower than mine. I constantly hit on him and try to get him to get horny. It never works. He tells me that it doesn't work because I'm always nagging him for sex and it's not subtle, therefore not sexy.

Pic unrelated

Girls, how would you feel about a guy wearing a mankini to a mixed party with a few hundred people there?

>>18107736
Look good - be in shape, shave, be clean. Dress casually sexy. Lingerie under one of his old t-shirts. Knee highs. His work shirt and panties. My boyfriend goes insane over this shit.
Don't hang around the house in old leggings, stained shirt and with greasy hair. Look attractive.

When you look like that, maximise casual physical contact. Sit on his lap. Rest your legs on him and move your feet up and down his leg. Ask him to help you get something and make him press himself against you.
Smile at him. Seduce him.
Text him sexy pics of you (not nudes) while he's at work. Send him a cute, teasing text.

Do not be blunt. Don't ask for sex. Don't hit on him. Make him feel like he needs to fuck you.

>>18107741
Would the looks be too obvious? I like to wear tights/OTKs sometimes, usually goes unnoticed... he doesn't like lingerie or makeup, so I don't really bother too much with that. The truth is, my face is really ugly... I guess my boyfriend doesn't think that but it's still the plain truth.

Also that contact doesn't feel very casual. I feel like I could try some of these and he would just say "wow you're so subtle" sarcastically...

I guess his libido is so low that he just really doesn't notice it or care if I just casually wear short shorts and leave my bare legs hanging out near/on him, even if he does look, it has no effect...

How often does your boyfriend want sex?

>>18107744
Huh.
Once a week would be fine for him, but we usually have sex 4-5 times a week tho.

>>18107739
If it matters at all the party theme is mardi gras so the dresscode is "rainbow, glitter or not much at all"

>>18107747
>tfw
4-5 times a week would be ideal for me holy shit that sounds so nice

I get laid once or twice a week on average, but sometimes we have bursts of maybe twice in 3 days but then 5 days of radio silence.

>>18107755
Oh I'm not complaining.
I do all those things to turn him on because otherwise he wouldn't fuck me this much.
I just play along with his kinks and try to turn him on.

>>18107427
>she
you mean some indian pakistani or african scammer guy?

>>18105482

I do that with every girl though.

>>18107765
You forgot Jorge, the creepy cartel-running asshole who's late on the rent.

Am I handling this well?

Well, I came clean with a girl about how I felt. Simply put she said that she's too busy focusing on herself to pursue anything with anyone.

Instead of being angry or any thing, I'm just annoyed that she still gave something of a round-about answer. I still accept that she's not interested, but still...

>>18107859
Congratulations you're an adult.

Been dating this girl for a month and a half, known her since october. Last night I was sleeping in her bed and tried to have sex with her, she was really into it but all of a sudden she says it's too soon for us to have sex. Problem is I know she's had sex with some guy she was dating before me on the second date. I'm starting to think there's more to it than just "too soon", should I worry ?

>>18107902
I guess. Still kinda funny that I've never had a relationship before, and really haven't been rejected.
So, this reaction I had sorta surprised me

>>18107705
>>18107725
Thanks, anons. I'm going to try and find the best time to tell her (we have a difficult exam on Friday and work together for the two days after, so it'll probably be after then), and I'll let you guys know what happens. Assuming she hasn't found anyone else by then.

I don't know if I mentioned it or not but during the time she was gone, I was consistently worrying about telling her when she got back because I was afraid my inexperience will fuck things up and I'll end up hurting her

Why does penis want hot girl and head wants girl with good personality?
How do you solve this conflict?

>>18108017
Find a hot girl with a great personality, and be good enough to get her.
Or settle for the best compromise between the two.

>date girl for three years
>goes sour because of her lies and deceit
>she tries really hard to remedy everything
>i can't get over it and leave
>really broken down, have a lot to work on for myself
>could see us dating again in the future if I was a stronger man
>and she of course continued to try and be a better woman
>know I'm not where I need to be yet
>should I try talking to her again to let her know I still want to be with her
>i just can't do it right now because i have a lot to work on for myself
>or just keep working on myself, and see if she's ready when I am
>it's been about 5 months since we broke up, 100% no contact
>but i'm pretty sure she saw me yesterday because I was outside on my friends porch and she was driving and had to stop at the intersection in front of his house.

>>18106341

coming from fit, her butt wont get fixed from smoothies, she is assuming that all those extra nutrition is going to be deposited in her butt.which is wrong.

tell her to hit the gym and do butt exercises, the holy grail is Deep Squats, While measuring the extra calories she's getting.

This is the only way.

how do i know if a guy is interested in seeing me again? we hung out once. he hasnt spoken to me since we hung out(i havent spoken to him either), but at the end he did kiss me and said we should do it again. I feel like i probably should've thanked him for a good time the next day or something

>>18108040
/fit/ how do i get a nice ass without doing squats or lunges?
i don't want to make my thighs bigger

>>18108094
But...isn't that how asses grow?
To have a nice ass, one usually has to have ample thighs. Hence childbearing hips and shit.

>>18108094
It's the same muscle.
You cannot get a huge ass with no thighs.

>>18108152
Yeah yeah I actually have wide hips. But my thighs are already pretty thicc. If anything I want them to slim down. But I still want a tight ass. So I kinda wanna do more butt-isolated exercises.

>>18108167
Weird, but a'ight.
See, thicc thighs are THE LIFE OF EVERY MAN.
A tight butt alongside those is great, but thighs alone are what men die for.

Anyway, just do them squats for a while longer. I know when I used to squat, my butt got pretty shapely. Got smacked by a girl of all things, even.

Dudes, have any of you ever had bed anxiety? And if so, how did you get through it?

guys, girls - both. So i am seeing this guy and he often talks about how hot or funny and cool other girls are. I know that he really likes me, but it bugs me because it lowers my self esteem, which is already low anyway. I thought of giving him a taste of his own medicine, but i think that's just fucking immature. How would you act and do you think this is a red flag? I'm not even confident enough to talk to him about it because i don't want to seem like a crazy jealous bitch.

>>18108226
>he really likes me
What do you mean? You kissed? Had sex?
Honestly, I think he is just trying to let you know he is not interested in you
The only advice I can give you is next time when he mentions other girls just say "well go to your girls then" (this is what my gf said)

>>18108234
no we pretty much are in a relationship, so yes we fuck almost daily and spend a lot of time togther

>>18108226
I feel you, but I wouldn't know another solution than to bring it up. Try to do so in a casual way when you eventually find the courage. "Hey boyfriend, do you realize you talk about how great other girls are pretty often?" and take it from there. Try to not wait until you are actually resentful, that only makes it much more loaded. Your best case scenario is that he's thick and never thinks about how he would feel if you did the same thing.

If you want this relationship to have a real chance imo you're better off taking this leap and communicating it to him than letting it stew.

>>18108090
CONTACT HIIIIM!

>>18108244
Also as for whether it's a red flag... I forgot about that part. Personally I consider it a red flag only if he does stuff like comparing me to them or making sure to praise stuff about other women that I don't personally have. Ain't nobody got time for that shit.

If it's not that, it's not a red flag to me but it would absolutely turn me off if he did this all the time. Nothing wrong with admiring someone (especially qualities in someone), but it's obvious when he's always praising women and glosses over men... It's not behavior that I find respectful. I actually dated a guy (going on dates, it never came to a relationship in part because of this) who did not neg me in any way but was talking -a lot- about how great women were. Particularly people I never met, painting me pictures including body type and what not. I just sat there going... dude, do you really not realize that I don't ever talk about other men that get me going to you?
Even if it's not mean-spirited it's just tacky.

>>18108240
Then he just tries to figure out if he can get away with cheating easily or not so
Well you dont seem to mind his commentary since you never mentioned it to him, so... he might end up not only talking about those girls
Say what I suggested anyway, especially in a relationship

>>18108250
i'm pretty shy desu. I guess I don't want to come across as desperate

>>18108265
Doesnt matter, I say as a guy, if a girl contacts me first I am only grateful for her sincere interest, I know it is hard, so I never think how desperate she is the same way you dont think a guy is desperate if he asks you out
But strange thing is he invited you to a date and never texted back then
So... I dont know how your chances are

>>18108207

You mean axiety because of sex, right?

>>18108244
Thanks ill try that

>>18108226

He might be trying to make you jealous. He might not be as much into you as you think. He might be into you, but also think you aren't into him so he wants to dhow he has options.

If you are into him, make it moe obvious and actually do something. He dhould stop talking about other girls then.

>>18108277
Yes. What else could that mean?

>>18108281
Good luck!!

>>18108288

Sorry, it was a weird expression, so I wanted to be sure.

I haven't had a panic attack or anything, but the lead up to sex is a very nerve wreking time for me. To be fair, I've never had a long term thing with anyone, so it always feels like I'm put to the test to impress them. Also, because we don't ususally see each other again, I feel I failed.

Nevertheless, this is only on the lead-up. Once actual sex starts I kinda have ebough on my mind and I don't really feel nervous or shit. Only after I think back to my performance and the nervous starts again. And I get awkward.

Is this similar to your experience?

I don't really have panic attacks either, but the fear of not performing well is what leads to, well, not performing well.

I have so much going on in my head during that period that most of the blood flows to my brain and not the penis. And you know how that can lead to problems.

Never had a girlfriend let alone a long term thing with anyone either. This is the first. I feel the need to impress her as well. So, when I don't, it's just that much more brutalizing to my self esteem.

I don't know how to fix this.

>>18105756
humans are mammals. So they have hair all over their body. this includes women. There are two types of hair, vellus hair, and terminal hair. The terminal hair is like the hair that grows on your head or your crotch. The vellus hair is peach fuzz and that's literally all over your body. So yes women do grow hair on their face. they have hair on their lips, their chins, their cheeks, they have it everywhere, because like I said they are mammals.

So they have probably noticed at one point or another that yes they do have very light mustaches, but that can't be helped because they are mammals. Some women have it darker than others and they shaven wax etc. But most women leave it alone because fucking with it would just make it worse.

>>18108322
>>18108303

Hey /adv/, can I get some help? I guess both can answer, but my second question is aimed more at the women here.

TL;DR: I'm well adjusted guy except for acting on hints and approaching, how do I get rid of this problem? Also how bad is it not to act on a hint?

I consider myself well-adjusted. I'm close to attaining a good education and a good job, I have a big social circle and have a couple of long and close friendships. I'm in the process of moving out, dress nice, take care of myself, carry myself like a man should etc.

'd say my best qualities are a quick mind and wit. I can succeed in most things if I put my mind into it. I know my abilities and the things I need to improve on. I'm confident. I also can read people pretty well.

My negatives are a bad case of procastination, I'm not as tall and fit as I'd like to be and I can be quite judgemental, mean, argumentative and hostile when in a bad mood. I also have a fierce nicotine depebdency.

>Here comes the problem:
I keep attracting women. I'm often getting hints and flirts dropped on me, but I rarely act on them. Well, I do flirt back, but consider it more of light hearted fun. When I do act on the hints, it stays in one date even if the girl expresses interest in continuing. I'm also very averse at the concept of simply approaching an interesting girl. I become nervous, scared and start to overthink when women get attracted to me or when I play with the idea of approaching someone, which only occur at these situations. Due to this problem of mine I've had sex only once.

As you can see I'm good at cockblocking myself and this has started to annoy me lately. It has also hurt some of my relationships with the girls that have been attracted to me because I didn't act on their hints. Any and all advice is appreciated.

>>18108322

For me, having fun is what helps. Once we start, the worries disappear because, well, I have other stuff to think about. I don't know how to put it into words. Focus on your own body at first, enjoy yourself, and that might help you look for your partner's enjoyment, too.

If you don't have fun, she won't.

>Typical ugly khv anon doesn't look at girl:
>"like I thought, he is just a faggot with no balls to show, and look at me straight.

>Typical ugly khv anon looks at her:
>"ewww what a creepy man, stop looking at me jesus..."

>Chad looks at her
>teehee come on and talk me quit wasting time...I'm dying.

>Chad doesn't look
>What's the matter am I not good enough or is he gay? He must be lacking confidence.


Tell me that's not how it literally is.
We stare = Sexual harassment
We don't stare = tiny dick.

What is it you want girls?

>>18108442
As for the whole "hurr girls respond different to the same behavior when it's a different person doing it", I don't get why guys find that so revolutionary.

>hot girl being bitchy
>"Ohh she's feisty/tsundere"

>ugly girl being bitchy
>"What a fucking cunt"

>hot slim girl making a show out of messily enjoying ice cream
>"Fuck yes, that's so hot"

>ugly fat girl chomping down on ice cream
>"Disgusting pig"

I could go on and on with the examples but you get the idea. Look through a "cute things girls do" thread and tell me they picture homely girls with square noses standing on their toes, giggling or warming their hands in their sleeves. Fuck no.

But the whole idea that women spend time having an opinion on some man they're not interested in not paying attention to them is entirely false. To most hot women he might as well be a staircase in terms of time they spent thinking about him and to average/below average women he is just another person minding his own business.
And obviously just because the guy is ugly doesn't mean he doesn't have other qualities that women enjoy. You might not believe that but many girls would happily date a guy who was not a looker but charming, funny and a good boyfriend. Especially if they ended up interacting and bonding naturally anyway. Plus most people ultimately prefer someone in their looks range for serious dating.

>>18108442
Nah you're wrong

>Typical ugly khv anon doesn't look at girl:
>doesn't even acknowledge you exist and does not give you the time of day to even fire a single synapse in effort of thinking even the remotest thought about you

You're pretty self-centered for a tiny-dick khv

>>18108451
>You might not believe that but many girls would happily date a guy who was not a looker but charming, funny and a good boyfriend

That's a pretty funny statement to make considering the extremely superificial and shallow level of modern dating/hookup culture.

>>18108460
Yeah because every guy you see with a gf or wife is 10/10 ripped stud

>>18108460
As the other anon mentioned, ultimately people still fall in love for and gloat about completely normal human beings. No amount of glamorized perfect porn or quick and dirty hook up apps have been able to undo this. Love and lust reach beyond rational expectations/standards.

>>18108470
You meant to say that girls jump off the cock caroussel at some point and then settle for the "safe" option aka. an ugly to average guy with a job. This isn't a case of "oooh love and lust are sooo mysterious and have no standards or expectations!"

There's a girl who sits next to me in class and keeps inviting me to her house and to go out. She keeps bringing up sex all the time, and has insinuated many times that she wants to sleep with me.

Problem is, I don't like her. She's kinda crazy. She's slept around a ton and has told me about some of her infections, so I wouldn't touch her with someone else's dick.

Girls: Best way to tell her I'm not interested without pissing her off?

why does a girl you barely know sit next to you in an half empty lecture hall, when also her friends sit one row ahead of you and also had a free seat (where she could have moved during the break, but didn't)?
seems kind of strange to me, especially as I had nothing to do with her before.

>>18108568
She is looking to be penetrated.

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Is being funny something most girls actually find attractive, or is it something they just say they like to avoid appearing shallow?

Hey /adv/,
So, i'm a guy in his 21', and 6years ago, i madly fell in love with a girl, who was in love with me for a period of time. So, a lot of things happened, like she stopped talking or texting me, then re-texting me or talking to me. She got several boyfriends since (4), and after we graduated, she stopped to talk to me again ( we were really close and she liked to spend time with me). I could not get her off my head, and i've tried several time. Then, 6months later, she talked to me again to say that she was sorry and shit'. She was still with her boyfriend but it was a rough situation. So, later in the same year, we got out 2 times, she talked to me and said that her boyfriend got abusive... We both enjoyed gettin' out together, but our relation was nor friends, nor a couple.
So, the second time we spent, i confessed myself to her. She was surprised because it was her first time someone confessed to her like this.(Previous bf did not like this actually)
She kinda knew it, so we spoke about it for like 2hours. I was happy because i finally confessed. After this, i was working in a different city and told her that i wanted to kiss her when we first met in the actual year and she said to me :"Why didn't you ?"
And a week later, got a text sayin that we should stop talking each other. She was to me, my only support and the person i liked the most etc... AND months later, she texted me again saying that she missed me. I had no feelings for her anymore, so i said that it did not bother me. WRONG, i still had feelings but i did not know. Romantic feelings and sexual feelings... (i'm virgin) We met again, and spoke about our lives, we were both a bit in despair. Then for a month, i wanted to cheer her up about her life, so i spoke to her everyday but one day ( and that's the day i stopped texting her), i realized i was still in love and it pained me. A month pass again and everything's right again, now she want to meet me ? What do i do ?Do i tell her the truth ?

Any femanons around liking anal play?
If so, how did it all started?
Do you masturbate this way as well, or only let your partner do so?

>>18108597
I think wit is the singular sexiest characteristic a guy can have.

>>18108488
No, I did not, but enjoy that paranoid woe is me meme of a world view.

>>18108618
t. woman who doesn't want to appear shallow

>>18108630
Honestly, I am shallow like everyone else is, and I'm don't feel particularly ashamed about it.

Wit is sexy as hell. I cannot think of one thing sexier than that.
One of the guys I liked most is 50 lbs overweight and bald, but he is witty as hell and I've always been crazy for him because of his sense of humour.

>>18108630
Do you seriously hear yourself talking? What do you get out of lurking a thread specifically designed to hear the perspective from the other side and undermining all responses because your bitter ass all knows it better? There's a whole containment board for that mindset.

>>18108377
Any insight?

>>18108645
I read your post but it's hard to help you if you have no clue at all about what is causing you to push people away in the first place. Fear of commitment? Crippling issues with self esteem? Wanting the chase not the relationship?

Can you form serious bonds with friends?

>>18108640
>Wit is sexy as hell. I cannot think of one thing sexier than that.
how about a cock?

>>18108648
>Can you form serious bonds with friends?
Yes, like I said I have a couple of deep friendships, one is almost 20 years long I think. I love the dude like my brother.

>>18108651
Cocks aren't particularly sexy.
Plus almost 50% of the population has one, while only few people are genuinely witty. So it's rare.

>>18108654
I should've been more specific, I mean more opening up emotionally to new people you don't know from your past. I read that you say you have a big social circle but it makes quite a difference whether that's people you happen to hang out with and enjoy chatting with or people who know personal stuff about you, that you show your appreciation for etc.

Still though if you have no clue at all in what direction your issues might be I don't really think it's useful to do a stab in the dark. There's many different reasons subconsciously not want a romantic relationship. Issues with how you view romance (are your parents still together? did they give you a healthy example for what a romantic connection looks like?), issues with how you view women (are you sure you're straight? are you comfortable with your own sexual desire? do you have any hang ups regarding how you view women?) issues with how you view yourself (are you afraid to get hurt more deeply once you allow someone to come close because no one who really knows you could like you? does it disgust you to see yourself in the role of a lover/romantic partner because you seem unworthwhile?).

>>18108648
>>18108654
>Crippling issues with self esteem?
Forgot to add that this seems kind of funky given that I don't encounter these problems in any other aspect of my life. The moment things get romantical/sexual, the nervousness, worrying and overthinking starts. I'd argue I would have problems in my professional and other social life too if I had self esteem issues.

>>18108572
that crossed my mind too
I guess I did fuck up by barely talking to her, didn't I?
so what should I do now?

>>18108643
I want an honest perspective.

>>18108670
Nothing, that window has closed.

>>18108662
>people who know personal stuff about you, that you show your appreciation for etc.
This one. I don't really go out of my way telling things about my past but if someone asks I'll tell. Anyway I don't consider someone part of my social circle if s/he's only someone I like talking with every now and then.

>are your parents still together? did they give you a healthy example for what a romantic connection looks like?
Yes, they are. I don't know about the connection though, having been married for X decades does that to people.

>are you sure you're straight? are you comfortable with your own sexual desire?
Yeah, I am straight. Can you however expand on that sexual desire part? I didn't understand.

>do you have any hang ups regarding how you view women?
Well yes and no. I take every woman who I encounter as an individual, but it gets scary when you read those various statistics the redpillers post. I'd say I have a healthy view of women though.
>once you allow someone to come close because no one who really knows you could like you?
I'm not sure I follow. Everyone has their demons, and I don't consider myself any different from the next guy in that regard. There's also not that much to know about me, really.
>does it disgust you to see yourself in the role of a lover/romantic partner
I wouldn't say I'm disgusted at myself when I imagine myself in a relationship. If anything I'd say such daydreams make me pretty content and happy.
>because you seem unworthwhile?
Well, there must exist better pickings somewhere, but I wouldn't say I consider myself an unworthwhile dude.

>>18108679
What, so unless it aligns with what you believe(/fear) is true it must be false? That's not a productive mindset to learn anything at all in your life.

>>18108543
PLS RESPOND

>>18108703
>Can you however expand on that sexual desire part? I didn't understand.
Some men have some internalized hang ups about how penetration is inherently demeaning to women. Or they feel rapey because of violent sexual fantasies, stuff like that. Harsh comments about sexually tinged behavior of men being creepy or making them predators can make more insecure/timid men feel like their sexuality is a negative force or at least unwanted in society.

I'm sorry man, I'd be happy to give you more personal advice but everything sounds so normal that I don't know either what the issue is. And in that case all the advice I can give you is to keep (through baby steps) extending your comfort zone, try to get one step further than you have gotten so far, make sure you keep meeting a lot of new women (even if only getting to know them superficially/briefly) to have a bigger chance of meeting someone you are more comfortable around.

How do I impress women?

>>18108707
You have to be blunt. Tell her this in steps (assuming she does not back down). Keep your voice flat, steady and dispassionate. "I'm not interested in that." "I just told you I'm not interested in that." "You're making me uncomfortable." If she shoots back with an accusation that you're gay or whatever, look her straight in the eyes and tell her "Actually, I'm just not into you".

>>18108682
Really?
Can't I just try to hang out with her friends group or do something else to get to talk to her?

>>18108714
Be good at something (going with what your natural talents are is most efficient and most likely to be successful, only stray from that if your natural talents are especially unsexy), have healthy self respect, be fun to be around, don't cater to women.

>>18108714

be humble, confident, look presentable, smell nice, be happy. thats it if you want a wife and not a hoe for one night

every girlfriend ive had including my current of 2 years have all said the fact im always happy and smell good was the biggest turn on. i come from a fairly wealthy family and have nice things that ive paid for on my own but that has never mattered, even in high school girls hit on me because i was so nice and dressed/smelled good. physical things never mattered

>>18108719
Fuck that, do it anyway, what do you have to lose? And whether or not the opportunity's passed depends on how flaky she is and just how much she likes you, which no one here knows.

>>18108719
No chance. Pro-tip: the more you wait to talk to a girl l, the less she wants anything with you, it's over.

>>18108288
I get severe anxiety about going to sleep, so I guess it could mean that. In that case, yes.

Over sex? None.

>>18108723
Wanted to add that I agree with the anon below me that smelling nice is -very- important. And good posture can also go a long fucking way to improve your appearance.

>>18108708
>I'd be happy to give you more personal advice but everything sounds so normal that I don't know either what the issue is
Haha you're not the first one to say that to me. I once explained this issue to a friend's gf and she went "Really? You? Problems with approaching women? I always thought you're a womanizer."

>>18108727
I could look like a clown or a creep trying to get closer to her.
>>18108728
I have never talked to her before that. I didn't even knew her name until then. Why would it already over?

>>18108755
>I could look like a clown or a creep trying to get closer to her.
Stop this mindset, she came closer to you first, you have as close to an invitation as it gets within tentative first interaction. Sit next to her next time. Fair's fair.

>>18108755
That's besides the point, if you see a girl that might be interested you go talk to her IMMEDIATELY.

>>18108276
you're right
what['s the worst that could happen

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I can only masturbate to Hentai and SFM stuff.
Real porn repulses me.
Is this a problem? I mean, if I ever get to a situation where I'd have to engage in intimacy with a grill, I fear that I couldn't find her arousing at all, because as I said before, seeing real porn disgusts me.

>>18108773
Do you like to fantasize? Do you get curious about her body if you like a girl?

I'm inclined to say it's not a big deal. I don't like porn at all (disgust is a bit far, more like mild curiosity but it does turn me off if I actually watch it) but I fucking love real men. It's a completely different thing, it's very clinical to look at random naked people and sex looks pretty ridiculous and gross if you're not doing it.

>>18108773
I mean, I'm the same way but I could get it up easily for my gf because she's a qt. What exactly is disgusting? porn itself or all 3d womens naked bodies?

>>18108763
>>18108767
That might not be creepy, but it still seems weird to me. But then again I'm not very social.
Any other options or other tips you have for me?

>>18108796
Anything small and casual is fine. Asking her for notes. Throwing her a smile when you happen to make eye contact. Making a joke if you stand next to each other and something pops into your head based on what you're looking at. People appreciate it if others reach out to them as long as they aren't pushy or have obvious expectations. Small talk exists for a reason. Try not to make it too big in your head. You aren't "making a move" by sitting next to her, you are just allowing something to potentially happen. Even if that's just a funny face you exchange.

Also people tend to appreciate others more the more they see them (yes literally see them, look up mere exposure effect) so keeping yourself on her radar is a good thing even if you don't interact.

How are hook ups usually orchestrated?
Like, I've never done a random before, I've had a couple fwbs, but we actually knew each other beforehand. Met some dude online, gonna hook up later tonight I guess. But this feels really awkward and rushed to me. Like we're scheduling an appointment and making some sort of text contract.
"When you get here you may touch me here here and here, I will be shaving my dick, hows your hair situation? These are the acts I would like to have done and the acts I will and will not do"

Is it supposed to be this weird?

>>18108800
Nice, thank you.

But...
>Throwing her a smile when you happen to make eye contact.
...what if I, let's say, fucked that up too? Should I just smile next time?

Girls:
how many of you would be turned on if a total stranger claimed he fapped to you?

>>18108823
At first I was like "Lol there's no way"

Then I remembered I cam whore on the side sometimes because I want strangers to tell me just that....So I guess it just depends on the context?

>>18108802
Wtf just skip him
Real men wont make you feel like this even if you both know youll never see each other again

>>18108774
>Do you like to fantasize?
As in when I fap? Nope. I just watch some hentai/sfm porn and get the whole matter done with swiftly.

>Do you get curious about her body if you like a girl?
I guess. Though I haven't really had that strong emotions towards girls in ages.

>What exactly is disgusting? porn itself or all 3d womens naked bodies?
I dunno. It just feels disgusting to watch that shit. At least with the animu porn and sfm stuff it ain't real people fucking for money.

>>18108823
Out of nowhere? Not sexy at all, really creepy as fuck.

If I was teasing/flirting with him maybe it could be okay but... yeah, not a total stranger fapping to my facebook pics.

>>18108829
>>18108840
well, how about here, on 4chan? Without your personal info leaked and after you post something sexy (or at least sexy for the other party, that is)

>>18108854
I mean.
If someone posts sexy pics on here it's because they want people to fap for them, so of course they get off to the thought.
I personally don't think it's so appealing.

>>18108854
Yeah, it's only creepy if you're like, saying you're fapping to me in my normal street clothes when I'm not trying to be sexy.
If I'm purposely trying to be sexy, then yeah, I obviously want you to make comments like that.

Girls: how would you feel if your boyfriend told you he'd had sex with a transsexual prostitute (on her night off)?

>>18108831
Ok, so this is not normal for random hook ups? Lol thats all I was asking really. Like on one hand, I figure if you're gonna go this far it's probably just efficient to lay everything out on the table, but it does kinda suck some of the fun out of it.

Is fingering really supposed to feel good?
I've had a couple different people's fingers in me before in my life, it just always sucks.
It feels like I have to both piss and shit at the same time and idk if it's just that I don't like it because I don't like it, or if they're doing something wrong, or if I'm doing something wrong.

I'm concerned that if/whenever I do decide to have real sex, having a dick in me is just going to be that "I need to shit/piss" feeling X a million. Is that just how it's supposed to feel?

>>18108804
Sorry, I was out for a while. Realize I forgot to include greeting her when you run into her outside of (literal) class.

Yeah. It's not weird to not smile at someone literally every single time but reciprocate as long as she does if you do like her.

>>18108872
are you trying to tell me that a person who has sex every goddamn day wanted it on a day off as well? Instead of having fun or something?
(not that I claim that sex isn't fun, but too much of it gets boring)

>>18108886
Those were men's fingers, weren't? Guys can't finger properly for shit.

>>18108837
It's to some extent normal to not fall for everyone you meet. It also depends on how mentally healthy you are, how many new people you meet, how much you prioritize love/sex/general connections with other people.

Not all porn is people fucking for money. I'm not just talking about real amateur stuff, which is difficult to find, but if you look on stuff like the amateur (porn or gonewild) reddits you see stuff from people who at least partially just get off on the comments and acting out their exhibitionist streak.

Can you imagine a real life sexual scenario that could turn you on to picture in detail? A woman going down on you or giving you a strip tease, feeling warm flesh and having someone get flustered/teasing/feisty just like they sometimes do in other, everyday situations? This person you have a certain connection with baring it all to share and give sexual pleasure?

>>18108896
She was/is into me. She liked the way I treated her. She isn't often treated well by guys she meets

>>18108896

>>18108899
well, my ex LOVED being fingered, more so than the regular sex, even. Once I was doing it to her for solid hour and a half, before all my muscles in both hands got numb. She never liked lickng, though

oops, I meant this>>18108906
to be a reply to>>18108886
and>>18108899

>>18108823
I kind of love lurking threads of camwhores just to hear the kind of stuff the men are saying when they really want her to post more/let her graphically know how good she looks. No effort full profit.

>>18108840
If it's pictures or something, that's too personal for me, I'd only share faceless ones with an extremely trusted person. The very idea of that kind of stuff surfacing is terrifying, knowing that there's people out there who literally get off on reposting your stuff forever regardless of who you try to sue/get police involved with, ruining your life just because they can. I find it pretty insane that in 2017 people still get shamed/bullied so fucking intensely for someone everyone can empathize with to some extent; the desire to be vulnerable and expose yourself to someone you love or even just lust after. Yes you can feel it's too irresponsible (thus not so much undeserved backlash) but it's not like it's some alien freak urge/idea. Yet because someone else is a dick and breaks the trust or steals your shit people get treated like they did god knows what.

There was a very young girl where I live who had a pic spread where she literally was topless except her hands covering her breasts. Relentlessly witch hunted until she could not walk around without being harassed/bullied about it anymore. Fucking ridiculous.

Text, sure. Cheers. Don't need proof but the idea is hot.

Girls

Do you hate being cold appoached by guys?

>>18108925
>Do you hate being cold appoached by guys?
Yes. Deeply and Genuinely.

>>18108918
>lurking
>No effort full profit
so it doesn't matter to you, that they aren't responding to you in particular? and do not express being turned on by your person?

>>18108886
Taste is going to vary but I fucking love it, ultimately more even than being eaten out. Thought I don't particularly care for literal fingerfucking, I like it more to switch things up and give a teaser before penetration but after being fingered like regular masturbation. You can just make out or breathe on/smile at each other, or with your ass pressed up against his boner spooning with his legs between your thighs, and him just stroking you and making you feel better still. Really makes me wish I was more apt at giving handjobs, I always feel like I suck at picking up the right rhythm with that. Of anyone reading has any tips..

If you're not properly turned on then yeah, it's no fun to get something shoved up there, more like jamming something up your mouth out of nowhere but much dryer and tighter. If you're aroused enough you will relax, your muscles loosen to give way, the area gets cushiony from the blood flow, you get wet to smoothly let something enter.
Maybe try to see if you can shit beforehand to make sure and reassure yourself if that urge feels close?

No, that's not how it's supposed to feel. But you can also finger yourself during (or he can do it), throw in a little vibrator, and/or your groins will rub into each other a bit in some position, especially if he's not too long to go balls deep. Some women can climax more easily on top, grinding (their clit) into his dick at their own pace. And obviously if it's good sex there's more context turning you on, like seeing him naked and how he holds you/looks at you/talks to you.

>>18108930
Expanding from this, what approach is preferable? Does your stance on cold approach change if it's just for friendship?

>>18108935
No, not at all, it's sexy to hear them express their sexual enjoyment and encourage her to expose herself further. I'm not against sex with women either (though I never fell in love with a woman) so I don't know she doesn't necessarily feel like competition or whatever to me more than someone attractive showing herself off and maybe (hopefully) getting off to that herself.

Sure it might be good in a different/additional way if they were my pictures but it's not tempting to me at all because of the serious negative stuff (risk of leaking/it haunting your future, suddenly making sense out of mean degrading or insulting comments some leave about your looks).

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>>18108900
>It's to some extent normal to not fall for everyone you meet
Of course, though given the course of my 23 years of existence, I have ever had two crushes.

> It also depends on how mentally healthy you are,
Depression is a bitch.

>how many new people you meet,
Well, hopefully if I get accepted to university, I can meet new people. Even then, it takes months for me to even start really chatting with new people. I open up very slowly.

>how much you prioritize love/sex/general connections with other people.
Given that I spend most of my time on 4chan, love and sex etc are very low on my list of priorities. The loneliness is killing me though.


>Can you imagine a real life sexual scenario that could turn you on to picture in detail?
Hardly. I don't even know what experiencing such thing would be like, so I can't really imagine it as anything else than copying something I have seen in porn.

> A woman going down on you or giving you a strip tease
Would probably make me uncomfortable desu. I wouldn't know what to do.

> feeling warm flesh
I haven't felt the touch of another person (if you don't count hugs from my mother), in basically my whole life.
I don't even fucking know what feeling warm flesh against mine feels like.

>having someone get flustered/teasing/feisty just like they sometimes do in other, everyday situations?
I don't know what this means desu.

> This person you have a certain connection with baring it all to share and give sexual pleasure?
I don't have anyone I share a special connection with. But I think that I could only ever be intimate with a person I had such a connection with. The idea of casual intimacy with borderline strangers disturbs me on a fundamental level.

I am probably fucked in the head, and doomed to die alone.

>>18108937
mm yeah I like clit rubbing fine. It's the actual, stick your finger inside me part that just always feels bad. Not painful, just bad. So I don't think its a matter of arousal.
I've tried making sure I've gotten everything out of my system beforehand, but still just feels like I gotta shit, which I don't get because it's not like he's fingering my ass.

>Vibrators
Man I really would like to use toys, but I can never get anything more than a ons, and I feel like it's insulting or weird to ask to break out toys on the first (but also last) meeting.

>>18108938
Usually, I prefer talking to someone who is a friend of a friend.
If we're stranger, talk to me in a socially appropriate context, break the ice by talking to me with an excuse. Have a conversation with me without being too flirty and show interest in me. Eventually escalate, be more flirty and get where you want - but show effort.

When guys do approach girls serially, it feels really dehumanising. I know I'm the 10th girl you walked to and told the same three lines. It makes me feel like I'm nothing more than a piece of meat.

>>18108937
>If anyone reading has any tips..
you seem like a nice person, so here's one:
tell him to place a hand on your leg/arm/butt. it will be used as a scale of thrusting frequency. One side is 0, the other is 10 (though logarythmic one may work better, just try). In case of butt, the asshole may be 10 and 0 may be somewhere outside.
So whe he wants it faster, he'll just move his hand and fine-tune your actions

>>18108925
No, not at all. What I hate it when I'm not in the mood to talk/socialize with a stranger, especially depending on the way you go about it - we all have those days where you've had enough shit to deal with already or just feel off and want to be home alright, and then imagine having someone you're not sure you're interested in right away be all perky about putting ~the moves on you and making a little act about it. Yes many men act this way.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, people are fucking awkward and they'll let things run its course for a while before pulling the brakes and resorting to literally telling you to leave them alone. All but the most callous ones will first display other signs (mentioning they're in a hurry, ostensibly grabbing their phone or staring straight out of the window, mentioning a boyfriend or man they're going to meet up with, responding curtly, turning/moving physically away from you, not smiling (much at all), not asking questions) or signs of interest (smiling, turning their body towards you, asking questions and listening to your answers, teasing you, asking about/assuming a girlfriend, straightening their clothes/fidgeting their hair, blushing/getting flustered). If any of the former, that is your real rejection. Any of the latter, your real "acceptance" to interact with them.

Try to be authentic. Don't put on a show trying to be some smooth fucker you aren't. Show real interest, people love a sincere interest in them. Don't force yourself to laugh at stuff you don't find funny. Don't force yourself to hide your natural signs of attraction (smiling lots, looking for prolonged eye contact). Disagree politely if you disagree. Encourage her to tell you things about herself, whatever she wants. Give her little glimpses about the kind of person you are. Tease her if you can. Clutch your "heart" at banter of hers if you're flirting and tell her this is too much for not even having gotten a phone number yet.

>>18108892
Thank you anon, I think I am ready now.

>>18108945
I see, thank you. Hell, just having this conversation makes me want to jack off to your sexy stories. Just saying.

>>18108955
Hmm that's quite unfortunate. If I were you I'd visit a gynecologist, see if perhaps your inside are quite close together so it presses into each other too much? Maybe it's not poop but your bowels being pressed on a bit from the prodding that you feel? I'd like to rule it out if I were you, at least.
Have you experienced clitoral fingering and "penetration" at once? If so did that make any difference?

Maybe it's easier to bring it up for a round two? You can even pretend it's new and you suddenly have this naughty idea of trying it out together, if that makes it easier to suggest.

>>18108962
Thanks you!! That's actually a great suggestion, I never thought of it like that. Doesn't help that my lover used to be very specific about his preferred way (nothing weird just pressing into the right part at the end so it was a kind of pulsing motion) so I was usually so fixated on getting that part right that the rhythm kind of became an afterthought.
I will definitely remember and try this, thanks again.

>>18108972
Nice. Too bad this is a blue board, I have a pretty sweet collection of softcore stuff from years of intensive internet.

>>18108978
we can always go to /b/ with it, you know

>>18108969
You're welcome, best of luck! And again try not to fret too much, this is the kind of stuff women talk about when they say that they "do make first moves". It's a more covert way to show interest, an invitation for you to respond to. (Within reason, like following her example by sitting with her next time.)

>>18108980
I got you.

>>>/b/724716624

>>18108937
A quick look on Pornhub shows six handjob tutorials, but I don't know if they're any good.

Grills
Will I increase my chances of success by going after average girls if I'm awkward, but have other things going for me?

Would you be willing to date someone shorter than yourself? I'm 5'9", but I have a thing for tall girls

>>18107903
Probably. That she was willing to have sex with them quickly and not you doesn't make her a bad person or anything, but it suggests that you're not as compelling to her as they were. And that's not something you want to have in the back of your mind in the future.

>>18108998
>Will I increase my chances of success by going after average girls if I'm awkward, but have other things going for me?
Duh. Depends on what these other things are though

>Would you be willing to date someone shorter than yourself? I'm 5'9", but I have a thing for tall girls
Can't help you there, I'm 5'0"

>>18108975
Maybe, idk what good it does me though other than just knowing thats how my bodys laid out. I'll ask my gyno I guess.
>Have you experienced clitoral fingering and "penetration" at once?
Not significantly. The penetration feeling drowns out all clitoral feeling I've found, but no dudes really gone full ham on my clit and pussy at the same time.
>Round two
If I could get one. I always get ghosted after the first.

>>18107501
>>18107467
>>18107409
Alas, my friend, I have failed you, an entire lobby of tf2 players, and basically the world.

I really tried to find an opportune moment, but she skeddadled right out of the building before I could even talk to her. She still seemed to like me, though.

I have neither the willpower nor actual strength to commit seppuku, but I assure you I wish I could.

Guys

Do you ever fuck random girls for the cuddles or as an emotional thing?

>>18109035
no. i never cuddle one-nighters. and the reason im banging randoms and not getting a gf in the first place is to avoid the emotional aspect. yes, i am a damaged individual.

>>18109009
>Depends on what these other things are though
I don't think my physical appearance is much of a problem, I'm pretty sharp, and I can hold a conversation on a range of topic

>>18109051
Those are things I'd expect from most people. I thought you were referring to things that made you stand out in one way or another

>>18109035
tobe honest I fuck girls solely for cuddling purposes. I can jack off myself, but hugging oneself simply doesn't work this way. Emotions are also nice, though I don't remember actually lacking them

Men:

Do you ever feel attracted to a girl with issues or who's damaged goods because you get an "I can fix her" feeling? It's kind of a cliche that some women feel this way, and I've seen it happen, but I wonder if any guys fall prey to this.

>>18109073
I think men who pick girls like that do it because they're desperate or lack self esteem

>>18109059
I don't really want to spend too much time rambling about how great I am 4chan, so I'll say my curly locks and green eyes are the world's envy, my memory,capacity for abstract reasoning, ability to pick up on broader trends, and analytical thinking are top notch. Plus, I look good with my shirt off

>>18109073
No, because I love myself enough not to fix up a broken-down car that can potentially kill me.

>>18109074
I agree with this woman.

>>18109073
helping with serious issues is a good way to score some points and become a boyfriend, you know.
I never had the feeling you're talking about, but I always find myself attracted to the most psychologically fucked up girls I have around me (it's still not too hardcore though). But it may be because I get bored by the normal ones

>>18109073
i have done this in the past. biggest mistake of my life.

>>18109073
No, never ever, I can fall in love with a girl with issues but I can never fall in love with someone BECAUSE of those issues.

>>18109073
I've been attracted to girls with issues before, but never out of any misguided "I can fix her" feeling.

>>18108802
>Is it supposed to be this weird?

Full disclosure:
I have hooked up with random people.
I have done online dating.
I have hooked up with someone I met on an online date.
But I have never done an "online hookup" so maybe i'm out of the loop on this kind of shit.

Even so, this sounds weird as fuck. The mentality this dude has to have to ask this questions, almost sounds like he's shopping for hookers or something. Way too procedural and detached. In my book, sex was always supposed to be fun.

>>18109035
>Do you ever fuck random girls for the cuddles or as an emotional thing?
Definitely not me.
But If the question was: Does this happen? Yeah, I'm more than willing to bet it does.

>>18109073
>Men:
>Do you ever feel attracted to a girl with issues or who's damaged goods because you get an "I can fix her" feeling?

There is literally a term for it: White Knight syndrome.

I think the most stark and completely random moment of this for me was once I was in Vegas and I just saw some young waitress all of a sudden duck in to a corner to start sobbing, and on seeing that i so much wanted to run up, hug her and kiss her on the head, and tell her everything would be ok. I spent like a solid five minutes struggling with my drunk ass to resist the impulse.

The feeling was always more instinctive than anything else--like it completely bypassed any logical thought. Nowadays though, I guess I've got enough experience and age in me that that kind of stuff doesn't phase me anymore. Perks of getting old I guess.

>>18109120
Yeah, felt weird. He was even low key telling me what to wear, and just being really impatient and pushy.
Just felt waaayyyy too fast to me, but I didn't know if that's just how shit works anymore.

Is eating dinosaur chicken nuggets too childish?

>>18109154
Only if you don't share

>>18109154
It depends. Are they something you go out of your way to eat, or is it just out of convenience?

I feel like I already know this answer but I also need to admit it somewhere. If you have advice, great.

I've recently realized I still might have feelings for my ex husband. We've been divorced for about ten years, have two children (one biological, one adopted) and have even been involved in a recent custody revaluation. He's remarried and has been for the last four years. When he first met her, he made some small attempts to tell me he had feelings for me. I was in a relationship at the time and let it go. I've been single by choice for the last two years. It's been within the last three months that I've slowly realized how I've felt. He and I are once again civil and getting along great. His wife is even making efforts to be civil towards me. This revelation is bizarre to me. I'm not sure how to process what I'm feeling. But when we met to drop off our child, we talked briefly outside his apartment about personal business and I realized I wanted to kiss him.

I know I probably could never act on this while he's married and I can't risk my daughters knowing how I feel because it's unfair. So what the hell DO I do?

>>18109283
Find a new boyfriend

>>18109283
it sounds like the time for the weirdest threesome of his life

How do I make friends without bothering people? It just feels like I've socially fallen between the cracks. If it weren't for my work I would easily go weeks without the opportunity to speak to another person face to face.

>>18109310
This, get super laid

>>18109283
>We've been divorced for about ten years, have two children (one biological, one adopted) and have even been involved in a recent custody revaluation. He's remarried and has been for the last four years
Makes it pretty clear cut to me; you can't move forward with this. You also don't have the benefit of cutting off contact like people often do either, considering you have to swap the kids back and forth.

All I can really suggest is to try to minimize contact and focus your efforts elsewhere.

>>18109073
>Do you ever feel attracted to a girl with issues or who's damaged goods because you get an "I can fix her" feeling?
I definitely have issues with a bit of a savior complex. Generally a horrible idea if they refuse to address their shit. My new rule of thumb is to roughly give as much effort back as they put in. I feel like it's served me well.

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>>18108802
>>18108831
>>18109120
Update: I decided to give the dude a chance anyway. He came over, we made out for 5 minutes, he jizzed himself before we even started taking off clothes.
I was gonna play it off, offered to watch some tv or something and let him recharge. He made a lame excuse about needing to do homework, bailed out of my house. He was here for all of 15 minutes.
Wow, idk how to even react to this lol. Note to self, don't do random hook ups anymore.

>>18109378
kek
just ask them if they are virgins beforehand, that's all. I wouldn't be surprised if he did what /adv/ told him to do

>>18109397
It was mostly awkward because he talked this huge game lol. Said he was the dom I was looking for.

Damn, no the reason it was horribly awkward was because instead of accepting "Oops, I came too soon, oh well better get her off" he just ran. Shit happens, I'm a pretty sensitive person too I cum very easily. But come on, take care of yo partner it's just polite.
Now I'm just sitting here on /gif/ with a vibrator to finish the job.

>>18109412
yeah, I totally agree. It's a point of honor to me to always make a girl come at least as many times as I did. Guess that's what you get from people who are forced to go online, for nobody wants them irl

>>18109412
>It was mostly awkward because he talked this huge game lol. Said he was the dom I was looking for.

So in guess in your case he was:
All talk and no... cock.

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>>18109450
Alright, usually I boo puns. But this legit made me lol. A+ anon.
>>18109436
Yeah, I mean I guess I knew deep down randos who aren't even your friend probably won't give a single fuck about whether or not you get off, but idk. Thought there'd be some non spoken "don't be a dick" rule.
Guess I get that he was probs embarrassed, but man I did everything I could to ease the situation, he did not want to take it

Girls and guys

This really cute girl wants to kiss me, she's heavily hinted at it through text... thing is. She doesn't know ive never had a girlfriend before. And well.. I don't know if I feel comfortable kissing someone. Something about kissing seems really weird to me. What should i do

>>18109321
>>18109321
Is there anyone you consider yourself friends with at work? If the answer is yes - maybe ask them if they'd like to grab a beer after work one day before you head home. If you get them out for a beer you can chat to them.
If the answer is no - start being more sociable and friendly with work colleagues, once you build up a bit of repartee you can ask them if they would like to go for a drink. Additionally I would recommend joining some kind of club, where you have a chance to meet new people, and new potential friends.

>>18109154
there is no food that you should avoid eating on the basis of it being "too childish"

>>18109457
You have to just go for it

There's a girl I sexted with who works at a dark room at my college. She doesn't want to give me her face or name, but continues to talk to me. After a week of talking after the initial sext spree, she finally said maybe she'll meet up. She's mentioned that it takes a while for her to warm up to people.

Anyway, should I just go to the dark room without asking? I'm thinking it's either going to be very disasterous or very sexy. She's alone the whole time btw. I was thinking of being very careful and telling her she can ask me to go at any time.
Should I just wait for her blessing or would this be exciting?

>>18109512

The thing is, I feel really uncomfortable at the thought of putting my mouth on someone else's...

>>18109527
I honestly think it'd be too freaky, but she said she likes my dick, face and voice. . What could go wrong?

>>18109457
Well do you want to kiss her or not?

>>18109527
No, that sounds fucking rapey. You don't even know her

>>18109540

I like her, she's really cute. But, i don't feel kissing anybody. Something about putting my mouth on another persons mouth is extremely offputting to me

>>18109310
Oh OK. I'll go get one right now. Thanks.

>>18109322
I generally don't have an issue here. It's the boyfriend part I do not want.

>>18109373
Thanks for the real answer. You're right. And I knew that before posting but reiteration helps. I chose to be single to be able to grow my new career and business. I'll just keep doing that.

>>18109313
She's not my type. Not in the slightest. I'd rather be fucked with a cactus.

>>18109652
You're always going to feel something for him; you two were married for years and even made a child together. But from the sound of it, you're just kinda lonely

>>18109761
Probably just the opposite. I've got friends. I go out and I have an active social life. I'm still having sex when it arises. I'm extremely independent. These feelings are pretty focused on him, honestly. I am attracted to other guys but I do not want to be in a relationship with them. Honestly, I'm not entirely sure I want to be in a relationship with my ex but I would consider it more with him than anyone else. Hence, the confusion. I think I genuinely just like the dude. Enough time has passed to have scrubbed out unfavorable (and admittedly, immature) traits that I'm seeing him as the person he is now. And oops the timing is bad. Oh well. If he finds himself single though ....

>>18109776
This post really gives methe impression you crave real intimacy, but you're trying to convince yourself otherwise. You're falling back on your ex husband, because you don't really trust the men around you enough to open up and you're familiar with him and know he's safe. All I can really say is make absolutely certain you're being honest with yourself and go ahead and give another shot. I know it's a hard thing to bounce back from, but don't just stew in your angst for the rest of your life

>>18109789
I mean, it's possible. I hadn't really considered it before. Maybe I am craving actual intimacy. The problem then becomes the fact that I lack the motivation to date to find it. I would rather just have sex and go home and then do my own thing. Not sure how to fix that.