Wife and I haven't had sex for almost two years.

>>18100912
>two years
>all efforts have failed
i cant imagine being married and not having sex for two years. drop the ultimatum, and start hiding your assets. it may be time to move on.

Well that's a dead relationship if I've ever heard about one. Why are you even together?

Anyways, here's the thing. A relationship needs novelty and adventure. Once you settle down and fall into a boring routine that's never broken the passion dies. Especially for women. You need to do something with your wife that creates excitement, arousal (not necessarily sexual arousal). Vacations, sports, traveling, kidnapping children, anything that stimulates you, gets your heart rate up and creates emotions. It doesn't have to be something grand (although the grander, the better) you can do "mundane" stuff that will have some impact too, like going dancing, playing paintball, stuff like that. But sitting in an apartment all day will kill any love, lust and passion. Well, it already did, you have to build it all up again.

File: 1446279048579.png (28KB, 188x200px) Image search: [Google]

28KB, 188x200px

>>18100956
It seems so simple but, it makes a lot of sense. I think i'll do my best to bring some fun back into our lives, regardless if it pays off in sex. I think, being part of the problem limited what options I saw as viable. I will make it work, even if we have to start from the beginning again. Thank you.

I know it's reddit but check out /r/deadbedrooms

It really helped me, there's a lot of advice on there about basically this exact situation and I used the advice and it worked so go look

>>18100912
>buy a gun
>buy a mask
>break into your own place
>grab her by the pussy
>she cums buckets

We've been married for 2 years and have only done it a few times since then too. We're both pretty attractive, there's just no spark.

I think you just dump your wife if she's not even interested in becoming better looking.

>>18100912

She isnt trying. Everything about her just screams profoundly lazy. She flakes at gym and flakes in being a good wife that cares about making you happy.

Every woman thst uses the "do something romantic" excuse is lazily trying to pass the responsibility of the problem onto you.

This is NOT your fault, but it is a problem for both of you.

You cant do all the work, SHE needs to meet you half way.

She has to accept she is contributing to this problem and that she is the only one not lifting a finger. If she wont lift a finger for this then she doesnt really care about the relationship anymore and has gotten way too comfortable with the status quo.

You two would benefit from marriage counseling.

She can't be bothered. Here are some suggestions:

Suggest to her you take that need elsewhere.
Propose regular sex once a week, no excuses to power through this issue until it becomes normal again.
Divorce her for not accepting that sex is important to maintaining a relationship.

Humans like to feel excitement and adventure. They like to feel attractive, confident, desired and valuable. They like to feel like they are progressing in life and measured as a success by whatever criteria they select, most often by those around them. They dislike the opposite of all these things. This is what pushes them into relationships and sexual encounters in the first place combined with their sense of smell and whatever is going on with their hormones at the time.

So once you know this, you just have to power game the system by adjusting the variables.

Your problem is likely neither of you are particularly fulfilled by your lifestyles, but you maintain them anyway because it is easy and you are afraid of anything else. You feel entitled to sex. She feels entitled to the relationship. You seem to resent the effort required to reverse the situation and most likely she feels the same way.

I'd make a decision. Are you prepared to end this relationship unless it becomes a sexual one? If so then decide what effort if any you are willing to put in first and communicate this to her. Then get on with it and stand by your decision no matter how difficult that makes your life.

If no, then accept it, drop the resentment and try and work on the things you can influence to the best of your ability and gain pleasure from those. Reassess your decision at regular intervals and you might find you are in a position where you feel differently.

I went through similar with my ex wife and decided it was more important to break up. While our lives were easy and routine, they weren't particularly happy or fulfilled ones and I felt I had more potential. Since we've broken up I'm much happier, doing much better and admittedly while I've had to grow a lot as a man I've had the support of those around me to do so and it has been a positive decision. My ex wife has jumped from worse guy to worse guy on a downward spiral because she needed somebody to enable and support her.

>>18100912
If you don't have children together I would strongly suggest divorce. If you want to have sex with your wife but she is telling you to be romantic after almost 2 years this marriage is dead.

This is my worst nightmare. A wife who let's herself go because she is too comfortable in the relationship, puts all the blame on the man and completely disregards your sexual needs.

These threads are horrible. Why even get married

This thread is horrible... I remember few days ago there's a thread about introverted girls or something where a guy said game - not the PUA variant, is good in marriage and long term relationship.

I laugh at him because it sounds like a PUA marketing advice, but now I've read this thread his advice doesn't really sounds horrible.
Maybe relationship especially mlong ones really need constant re-sparking of interest and adventure in a good way.

>>18102002
Well yeah, I've been with my current girlfriend 8 years and no matter what she says about feeling comfortable with each other and loving 'the real' me and so on, nothing lights up her brain and makes her attracted to me more than seeing me act like a desirable man, especially through eyes of others.

Like maybe I want to go to work and spend every evening playing world war 2 simulation games while listening to my favourite music with a couple of beers. That is ok right? We are in a long term committed relationship where we are comfortable with each other and above 'the bullshit' that others go through.

No, like everybody else when I'm boring and predictable she gets bored and irritable around me and it has a negative impact upon our relationship. It doesn't mean I can't do these things should I want to, but some instinctive animal part of her likes to see me doing helpful things around the house, working with my hands, being physical and exercising my intellect in typical male ways.

She likes to see me as a desirable man because it validates her by being with me. She likes to see me do typical man shit because she likes to think I will be a good father and partner in later life. She likes to make her mother and sisters jealous and brag about me to her friends.

If I want her to do something I can't whine at her because this is a turn off. I can't logically explain it and patronise her because this is a turn off. I can ask her to explain herself and hope she reaches a sensible conclusion, but this runs the risk of 'making me feel dumb/bad' which is something all people, but especially women dislike. Instead it is easier to use another person to motivate her, either by somebody else pointing out what a good point I'm making or shaming her in some way, stupid as it is her self esteem is heavily influenced by social pressure.

Oh and don't get me started with how well I'm going to get fucked if another girl shows interest. Especially if they are attractive.

>>18102020
Also this doesn't make her evil or dishonest. Just because she cannot appropriately articulate instinctive feelings because she feels judged or ashamed doesn't make them any less valid and doesn't mean you shouldn't pay attention to them.

Nobody should have to put up with a selfish, boring, predictable partner who makes no effort to be worthwhile. Your partner should nag you slightly to be a better version of yourself and to improve over time if they love you because they want you to succeed with your goals and they want to have a nice life with you. Only somebody insecure and afraid of losing you would hold you back or drag you down in order to maintain control because they are unable to grow past this insecurity as a person. They've every right to occasionally feel surprised, excited, jealous, aroused, angry as they want to experience life.

Like a lot of guys I want to lock a woman down and get cosy and stop having to test myself. I get it, I suppose in primitive times this strategy resulted in survival, no ageing gorilla wanted to constantly be fighting and risk getting wounded pushing for more than a fair deal.

Women conversely likely got traded around and felt protected knowing they were currently with the latest and most suitable model as proved through conflict.

So if I do nothing all weekend for months in a row she is likely thinking 'this dude is going to be horrible later in life, did I settle too soon? Did I choose poorly?".

So yeah, just because your girl isn't excited by you any more because you are a boring turd who never does anything interesting or exciting for her to feel good about the relationship and her life you can't blame her for acting up in certain ways. You certainly can't blame her for failing to understand and act upon it either because society pressurises them to stay put even though they start acting psycho. You've got to display some male character again and toss them out for a new one once you've sorted yourself out.

>>18102032
I get it now that it's necessary to be interesting in relationship, both ways. I wouldn't want my life to be stagnant and shit too, single or not.

By the chance, was the PUA guys right by using the so-called "game"?

>>18102037
>a guy said game - not the PUA variant

I don't think the PUA variant of 'game' is appropriate, but 'having game' is always good when dealing with any relationship.

Sometimes my girlfriend is just bored. I can deal with this by guilt tripping her for hassling me and indirectly imply she should get a life and basically indirectly make out she is pathetic and has no proper friends. Should I therefore be surprised when she doesn't want to fuck me and starts sending people messages for validation? I should have almost been able to predict that one right?

Just take that bitch for a drive. Bitches love being taken for drives. Especially if you pull over somewhere and just sit for a while, they think this is romantic even if I'm usually thinking of what I'd rather be doing at home.

Recently I actually got head off my girlfriend while parked up because she 'felt naughty'. Hilariously I literally took her for a drive because she was being a bad tempered childish bitch and I was thinking that it was a burden I could do without when taking her for a drive to change the scene. When I was trying to get close to orgasm I was pulling her skirt up to spank her bare ass and literally thinking "I'm going to blow my load down your throat and make you choke you on it you bratty slutty bitch" and perversely this is what got me off and this is what she most likely enjoyed.

Humans are weird. I try to never forget that we are basically fucked up bald monkeys.

>>18100912
*I haven't had sex for almost two years

>>18102055
Good advice my man. I'll try to remember it.

>>18102032
>>18102020
How do you not get tired of this? Doesn't it all feel like too much effort? Especially if you have a stressful job

Jesus Christ, just fuck. You're already married, who cares if you're fat?

>>18102678
Yes and I think it is the main reason many guys end up with a 'forever alone' mindset because they fall so far behind all the required steps that they find it difficult to even know where to start. Also I think it is why the leading cause of death in men under the age of 50 is suicide. I think it is why guys work so much and typically seek out the relative respite of work where at least they are judged on more objective merit and action. I think it is why men like to have hobbies away from the house or in a workshop or similar. I think it is why older guys especially as their sex drive diminishes stop giving a fuck and their partners become frustrated at this male menopause which leave them with a partner who is unwilling to communicate or engage like before. It is why I want to lock a woman down and get cosy instead of having to peacock all the time, yet I know that this is the fasted route to making my partner bored with me and having to deal with bigger problems down the line.

It is likely why so many people refuse to adopt an old fashioned approach to raising a family instead choosing to remain almost adolescent into their late 20's/early 30's. I get it, I don't like it because it is pressure I didn't ask for, but I feel like I'd be stupid to try and compete against thousands of years of genetic pressure.

Also lets face it, being an awesome guy with a partner who is completely devoted to you because you are a shining example of masculine greatness is hard work because you will be a top tier man, an exceptional one rather than an average one.

Of course you only have to really do a little bit of this, pretty much just enough to be considered valuable in the eyes of your partner and her peers.

Is it the destiny of all women to become fat slobs?

>>18103236
>Of course you only have to really do a little bit of this, pretty much just enough to be considered valuable in the eyes of your partner and her peers.

I agree on this. On average we just need to do at least 10% better than our peers, to stick out in a good way.
Problem is, many simply opt to not to especially many young people in 20s and 30s today. With the advancement of technologies and thing many just content with the status quo and being just barely enough.
I Imagine if sex robots/VR became a mainstream like a mobile phone was, many will simpy opt out further.

To be honest, I wanted to challenge my partner in a good way, to make her better herself, but inside of me I'm afraid she'll angry and leave me alone, and somehow I think I'd never find anyone better than her again if it happened.
I know I gotta get a mindset of abundance and constantly better myself.
Learn the game as in learn to be charismatic, but it simply too much pressure...
I wonder how people of the old deal with this. Since it's genetic, they must have some way to advance and deal with this.