Female attraction

>>18099242
I don't accept your premise. I've met lots of guys who didn't impress me at first but who I grew to like (mainly as friends, but a couple of times as lovers) as I knew them better.

But I would agree that you shouldn't "chase" her. Instead, give her opportunities to get to know you and get past her first reaction. When you sense some friendly warmth, then chase her.

>>18099242

>A friend told me once that if she doesn't like you at first, she never will.

The statement is one side of a double edged sword. If she doesn't like you at first its unlikely that she will spontaneously develop feelings for you. Its rare, but it does happen. However, at that point you have to ask yourself, "Well, she suddenly woke up one day and decided she likes me, how long before she wakes up and decides she doesn't any more?".

You also have to consider that whether or not she will ever develop feelings for you is not the question, the question is how long are you willing to stick around and wait?

Generally speaking, any relationship which can so fluidly move in between romantic and non-romantic feelings is not built to last. As quickly as the switch can be flipped on it can flip back off again.

>>18099266
>
Generally speaking, any relationship which can so fluidly move in between romantic and non-romantic feelings is not built to last

I agree but at the same time, I don't. It's all about attraction and EXPOSURE. Let me explain. A woman whom is always chased/surrounded by shy skinny guys will flock to the first decent muscular guy she sees. That's what happened to me because she was never used to this kind of attention and that I am so different from her friends.

But a woman always surrounded or chased by buff guys will be a lot harder to impress/attract. And when my gf will meet the next best thing, she will drop me and flock to him.

It's all about attraction, doesn't matter if she is married, widowed or single, I've seen that countless of times

>>18099278

>A woman whom is always chased/surrounded by shy skinny guys will flock to the first decent muscular guy she sees

I don't believe that to be accurate. Not as many girls just jump on the first guy who is "different" from what she's used to as you would think.

>But a woman always surrounded or chased by buff guys will be a lot harder to impress/attract. And when my gf will meet the next best thing, she will drop me and flock to him.

You sound very young. I don't mean that to be an insult but just a statement of fact. I think these things you're stating can definitely be prevalent in your younger years but as an adult I haven't found the formula for attraction to be this simplistic. To put it bluntly, mostly kids behave this way, not adults.

You need to understand that attraction, in and of itself, does not maintain or dictate relationships. Attraction is the spark that begins relationships but without the fuel of compatibility thats all these interactions are; momentary sparks.

When I say "any relationship which can so fluidly move in between romantic and non-romantic" I'm not talking about strangers. I'm talking about people who know each other to a fair enough degree that one party has decided they aren't interested in a relationship with the other.

Any one who knows you well, decides they don't want to commit to you and then wakes up and decides they're interested in committing to you, obviously struggles with the concept of commitment, at least in your individual case which, needless to say, does not bode well for your relationship.

>>18099287
I'm obviously generalizing but the idea stays the same. We are all slave to our biology, instincts. We will always want the next best thing and that's only in our nature.

I wish I was wrong but I've seen this often enough, from prude muslim girls to married women. If she clicks with you, it's all it matters. The present moment.

As for my relationship, yes you are right. I want to break up with her (and tried many times) but my mind guilt trips me everytime I do because of my 'good boy' upbringing

>>18099298

>We are all slave to our biology, instincts. We will always want the next best thing and that's only in our nature.

I don't buy into that mantra. Its a very easy basket to keep all of your eggs in but life is more complicated that that. People are more complicated than instincts.

Generalizing human behavior as inevitable due to our instincts is logically dubious at best, disingenuous at worst.

As a human being you should know that the things we want sometimes vary differently from the things we know we need. Humanity is rectifying your urges with your logic. Sometimes logic wins and I think you know that, despite the fact that believing the opposite helps you alleviate some of the stress you're feeling about your current situation. Of course, if we're all slaves to our instincts and biology then you get to absolve yourself of responsibility, guilt or anger for the things that happen to you. I think its easy, but not true.

I hate to keep going back to this but giving into your baser instincts for the sake of momentary magnetism is something that adolescence are most susceptible to. They don't know any thing better than instant gratification.


>If she clicks with you, it's all it matters. The present moment.

I disagree. For some, maybe, but as you become an adult the rules change. Like I said before, anyone can magnetize towards any one at any given moment. Its not the initial pull that keeps people together, its all the months and years that come after.

>>18099315
Rules changes by not necessarely being the most attractive but the most powerful (money/fame/status). But for the rest I somewhat agree. I'm not sure how my gf still sticks with me. I've been acting quite badly since the beginning of the relationship and she still sticks with me. I guess the 'bad boy' meme is right

Depends. Some people just grow on you as you get to know them despite not being your type. But I wouldn't go chasing or getting strung along if she's not showing interest

That way lies madness