Is it normal to like and despise your crush at the same time?

are these list of pros just me setting the bar way to low? besides the music part most people should already be this way, correct?


fuck did i just answer my own question?

would still like other input in this

Well I can't really offer advice but rather say you kinda sound like me. The only 2 times in my life someone said they liked me and I decided "okay cool, let's try this!" was the moment I started nitpicking flaws about them. Being overly judgemental as if I was looking for an excuse to dump them, you know? Didn't take long until I did it but I regret not being more open minded and understanding. Nobody will ever be 100% perfect, having unachievable standards will only leave you alone in the end

>>18096128
ahhh oh god, I am extremely judgmental. My image means everything to me. I'm slightly embarrassed by them in public when I'm around other people for no particular reason. I understand that your partner can reflect you and I do not want to give that power to anyone.

>>18096126
>are these list of pros just me setting the bar way to low? besides the music part most people should already be this way, correct?

Yeah I think you answered your own question. Sounds like you're not too into this person.

Look at it this way: if they weren't into you, do you think you'd still be into them? And/or did they approach you first?

>>18096209
I was attracted to them at first when we first met I thought they were interesting. They did approach me first after I already decided I thought they were interesting/attractive. The interest was there for sure. As time went on I found small details and behaviors about them annoying

>>18096112
>passive aggressive
>honest

>>18096260
good point

i think i mistook honesty with being emotionally open

what we call "love" is attachment. you can be very attached to someone with qualities you dislike.

answer to your question: yes

>>18096260
maybe OP means that weak-as-fuck aggression that borders on passive and not

I always say "WHAT" really loud when someone tries to pull that shit, or calmly say, "What? Excuse me? What?" trying to halt the conversation or catch them as they slink away.

>>18096112

>Is it normal to like and despise your crush at the same time?

Nah man. That's not normal at all.

>Are these red flags something I should be concerned about?

Someone having a characteristic about them that you find unattractive isn't a red flag, son, thats just not being compatible.

>>18096293
>not normal at all
I take it you're a psychology student...wait no, philosophy major

>>18096112
>annoyingly eccentric
What does this mean?

>>18096301
Not that guy, but where the fuck did you get that idea? You asked the question, remember? They probably answered not from their extensive readings in Philosophy 203: Socrates and Crushes, but from their life experience.

Just the way I'm basing it on your replies in this thread and not whatever the fuck I majored in when I call you an ungrateful twit.

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>>18096112
My solution

>>18096112
>>honest
>>not ugly
>>somewhat intelligient
>>presentable
>>good hygenie
>>good group of friends
>>does well in social situations

What a catch!! In all seriousness it doesn't look like you like this person at all.

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>>18096112
Well the cons sound like things that can be worked on. Ask yourself if any of these annoyances are bad enough to be dealbreakers, as well as if the things you actually do enjoy about this person can outweigh them.

Oh yeah, what else do you even enjoy about them besides their music taste? You haven't postively described any traits your crush has that aren't generic, so it sounds like you don't really know them that well at all. What is it about this person that does anything for you?

>>18096312
they are loud as fuck for no reasons and display very immature/obnoxious behavior when drunk
>>18096317
hey this is op that wasn't me saying that poster was in psych 101 i appreciate all the replies i've gotten so far
>>18096389
i tried to get to know them but they actually have no interesting hobbies lol.

>What is it about this person that does anything for you?

they are endearing to me for no real reason, that's just how i feel about them sometimes on and off though.

>>18096112
If you date her those feels are gonna magnify times a million like 6 months in.

You have a sexual attraction. It runs no deeper.

>somewhat intelligent
>dumb as shit basket weaving tier major

you see, there's contradictions here
someone remotely smart would not pick a retarded dead end future

>does well in social situations
>sensitive and annoying, depressed, passive agressive

there it is again

>>18096112
What do they even major in?