I work in a female-only environment. 100% of my coworkers are

>>18094200
>I want to be able to fucking act the best possible way according to every circumstance and control my actions and emotions.

Dude, realistic expectations. You will mess up, that's gonna happen. Let's bring it down a notch before going on.

Why do you want to put on a persona even outside work? What's wrong with being yourself in your free time?

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>>18094206
Because myself is a pretty goofy person but not in the good way. More like acting stupid and not in tune with the social norms, not according to the social cues presented to me. At work there's a certain correct way to conduct myself as "perfect" so I act accordingly, and everyone brings praise to me, while I actually fake every aspect of it.

I want to be able to be like that in reality as well. Not like me, not like anyone in particular, just the best in every situation.

For example, if I was to notice an unintentional mistake at work, everyone else would tell the person while I'd repair it and not say anything if it helps the team, but completely demolish someone else for a smaller mistake if that would somehow benefit me. I don't really want to be perfect for any circumstances, but make every circumstance benefit me, even the bad and humiliating things.
Basically I want to make a tool out of everything in real life as I do at work.

>>18094248
>but make every circumstance benefit me, even the bad and humiliating things.

Again, not gonna happen. Shit will happen and things will go wrong. If your goal is to always come on top, then start looking for a new goal. That one is impossible.

>>18094252
Seconded. Trial by error.

>>18094200
It's hard. I am myself trying to get to a great personality point, but it's not easy and slow. Hell, it might not even be possible.
I'd suggest taking one thing at a time and thinking about how you want to do that thing. Force yourself to do it in a way and it may become more natural to you over time.

>>18094200

Transformer here (because I'm a robot in disguise).

It's possible.
Ignore these people.
You'll live like a con-man and what comes naturally after that is that people will care more for you than you care about them.
Mainly because they like "you", but you don't really know them, other "you" does.

Also, it's very, very, tiresome and exhausting. It's not fun, it's work, and at work it's work on top of work.

Yeah, for a real autist I have excellent people skills (often finding myself breaking certain rules I had before, like not approaching women - because I know I can get away with it). I talk my way out of situations alot (including one mugging).

It's an amazingly useful skill set.
But my god do I hate it. I literally just want to be alone, I only do this shit to survive, because as a legit autist every goddamn social interaction is a landmine that can blow up in my face.

If you want it;
>be bland, gotta learn to be invisible first. Completely neutral. This is so you first learn how to avoid making situations worse - and more importantly, knowing when to be easily forgettable.
>Secondly, work on basic small talk. Practise on cashiers. Ask questions (but not too personal). Use cliche's (talk about the weather). Small talk is considered meaningless and often just used to avoid awkward silences, but if you're clever, you can try to steer the conversation into finding some common ground and building a rapport.
>Practise smiling in the mirror. Find a smile that looks best and not at all axe-killer-ish.
>put yourself out there.
>Tell an embarrassing anecdote (make one up if you have to). DOesn't even have to be long "I forgot this, I'm such a clutz..." or some bollocks about sods law. This presents you in a humble light as well as gives the other person a sense of control, making them more comfortable around you (this one works well on women when you are a "creep").

>>18094252
My goal isn't to come on top or be perfect, as I have already said, but to learn how to use and make every circumstance, be it something good or bad. That means turning good interactions into opportunities, bad luck into lessons, humiliation into humility.

Most of all though, I want to be able to at least control my emotions and respond accordingly in unpredictable situations. At work I always wear a neutral face, or a serious face, sometimes I smile but only when I deem it convenable, but that's because the things that happen at work, even the bad or embarrassing things, are predictable. If something bad happens of my doing, I know what act to put on, likewise when something good happens.
But in real life, I always sort of respond with a dumb smile and nod, it's like the only response I CAN do. I don't like that whatever happens, all I do is smile and nod.

Is there such a thing as rhetoric classes? To teach people to talk and control their emotions and facial movements.

>>18094516

Read what you write, dude. Just read it. You can't game "life". Work on accepting that shit will hit the fan and that you have to deal with the fallout. Work on your ability to deal instead of these escapist fantasies to avoid trouble.

>>18094338
>I talk my way out of situations alot (including one mugging).
Storytime?

>>18094200
>I realized long ago how volatile the relationships at the workplace are. How every word and action is interpretable and how everything is taken out of context
Sounds like you might just have a toxic workplace. My workplace is 100% female as well and we all get along great, very rarely are there any sort of arguments or spats. it's pretty comfy desu. I even went with my manager to comicon

>>18094558

Prove it.