/sig/ Self Improvement General

>>18092277

>make a list of whats wrong with you
>separate whats actually 'wrong' with whats just a natural part of who you are that certain people just disapprove of
>from the list of 'actually wrong' divide that list into what can actually be fixed and what can't
>come to terms iwth what can't
>fix what can

there you go.

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>>18092307
What about improvement in my outlook towards life? I'm a cynical, bitter person. The days have morphed into a boring beige cycle. Nothing interests me.

>>18092277
you eat a lot of broccoli and clean the dishes right after the meal

>>18092357
Break the cycle. Force yourself to do something different. I joined a club, I literally went for a month and then gave up because nothing about it fitted me. But I'm glad I did because I was seriously having trouble getting out of bed but now I'm fine, slightly angry but filled with energy to do everything but that thing. Sometimes you just need to get out of your bubble and explore. At worst you'll find out it wasn't for you and you can move on to find something that is for you.

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How can you be better self if you can't even be yourself?

>>18092277
Thankfully we live in an age where information like this is abundant thanks to the Internet. This is what I did when I moved back to my parents house years back.

>downloaded p90x
because I got fat and needed to get into shape.
>started listening to self help videos on youtube
I recommend watching Tyler RSD.
>got a shitty job and worked my way up
this wasn't easy, but I did it.

>>18092357

volunteer. and i dont mean go once a month to serve food. i mean legit dedicate a full fucking schedule to volunteering. it will give you some serious fucking perspective.

but you likely wont becuase your life has become about serving every whim of yours, scratching any itch, in the moment, not caring about anything other than being 'satisfied' without caring about being happy.

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How do I stop sabotaging myself? I'm making an effort to get out of my comfort zone and start doing the things I should, I really am. But subconsciously, I'm so used to being kinda miserable that it has somehow become a part of me. I'm trying to get out there and do things but that part of me is slightly but constantly pulling me back into my old habits and encouraging feelings of shyness, fear and anxiety. How do I deal with this?

Also how do I stop seeing women I'm interested in as "objectives" I need to achieve instead of real people? I can't even have fun when talking, I'm too busy surgically picking every word I say in order to make sure she thinks I'm interested or something.

>>18093024
she thinks I'm interesting*

I would also like to better myself. I'm pretty cynical and a realist. I find it hard to empathize and sympathize with people i don't know and I jump to conclusions and assume and am impatient and irrational and let my emotions get the better of me. I'm an overall negative person looking to be more positive and happy.

>>18093024
>>18093067

Both of you guys share a similar trait: You find it hard to see other people as people and understand heir struggles and feelings.

Sadly, the solution has to come from you. We don't know WHY you see people like that, so we can't tell you how to change. Share a bit more or work on it by yourselves.

>>18093024
I'm the exact same on the first part. I absolutely hate who I am right now, but it's a cycle that seems almost impossible to escape. Most of my motivation comes from guilt and anxiety, which makes life very fucking stressful and I just don't see how I can get these things balanced

>>18093075
In my case, the main problem I have is I get too obsessed with getting the girl. I don't have problems socializing and relating to anyone, but the second I start developing feelings for someone it's all over. I've already heard all the advice I needed: "bee urself", "have fun and women will naturally feel attracted", "stop giving a fuck", "she's not special there are billions of other women" etc. All good advice, but HOW can I be myself? How do I stop giving a fuck? How can I replace the feelings of anxiety for feelings of fun? Especially considering the self-sabotaging I mentioned often gets in the way. That is what I'm struggling with at the moment.