Being a virgin

Embarrassment is a relic of humanity's roots in tribes of no more than 100 people where acting too far out of social norms potentially reduced your chances of mating. That's why you'll for instance remember some thing you did a decade ago and feel extreme regret even though it doesn't matter at all and everyone else forgot about it long ago.

Just live your life how you want and do what you want, there's no reason to feel embarrassment about anything.

Do you feel bad about being a virgin because you want more intimacy in your life? That's a reason to seek out companionship, a prostitute won't help you there.

Can you read minds?

>>18092070
>Do you feel bad about being a virgin because you want more intimacy in your life?
Sort of, you're right about there. Had I known my gf will die in the next 2 years then we wouldn't have waited.

>>18092091
You killed your gf?

Wtf dude

>>18092070
What a springloaded question.

You knew anons would come to your defence of being a virgin.

If you're a virgin at age 31 it's because you want to be one. So just come to terms with that and realize nobody gives a fuck if your penis has been inside a vagina or not.

>>18092070

>should i be embarrassed

it doesn't matter what you should or shouldn't be. you either are embarrassed or you're not.

if you're not, why try to force embarrassment just because anons say thats what someone should do? pretty weird desu.

if you are embarrassed, do consider that no one has to know unless you tell them. everyone has things that are private that would be embarrassing if they came to light.

do keep in mind that embarrassing does not equal shameful, wrong, bad, depressing, or anything like that. it just means embarrassing.

>>18092070
I was a virgin until age 32. I wasn't proud of it, but I wasn't embarassed. Now I am married to a wonderful woman.

Just learn from me and don't lie about it to a girl you like a lot. They won't care. I made that mistake, she was even the one who took my virginity. People really honestly don't care. They'll most likely forget you even told them anyways.

>>18092242
Why did you lost it so late?

>>18092070

Beyond 30 you have an excuse to pay a hooker.

Probably after that you will be more confident around women and able to begin a relationship.

You can also get addicted to hookers

>>18092070
Honestly, you might want to spend some time checking out escorts and find a safe, clean girl. Go see her two or three times. I did it. Spared me a lot of autism and poor sex moves with someone I actually loved.

>>18092079
>>18092142
I like you guys.
Not OP

>>18092242
Did you marry your first or did you actually get to pick your wife?

I'm just asking because I'm a virgin at 26, and getting married to my frist sounds like an absolute nightmare.
How would you ever now she's the best one out there if you cannot compare her to even a single other woman?
What makes you sure that it wasn't just desperation if you've never been able to get with women and actively pick the one you like most?

I don't ask this to be a cunt, but because I really wonder. Desperation and loneliness can do wierd things to a mans mind.

26yo khv here.
I'm seriously considering seeing an escort.
But I'm in the same time confused and affraid this is only a small time solution.

I don't really care about sex or getting laid, maybe a bit but being virgin doesn't bother me that way because if I do it with a hooker I won't be able to tell others who may suspect I'm virgin that this was my first time.

The only reason I want to lose virginity to a cute escort is to finally find confidence and stop acting weird whenever I'm near a girl I fancy.
But if I find myself totally ugly and girls around just avoid me whenever they see I want them.
Then I don't want to hate myself even more than I do now.

So what should it be?

See one or not?
Is it going to help me feel like a man? Am I going to get addicted ?

>>18092242
How did you find your gf?
How were you doing with girls before?

Apparently nobody on /r9k/ is a virgin

>>18092070
http://www.pornhub.com/sex/5-tips-adult-virgins/

>>18092737
Fuck Man, if it's love then who cares that shits hard to come by these days.

Lost my virginity at 21. Anon, bitches are vastly overrated. Fuck an escort, stop pedestalising whores and know that women your age have clown cars for fannys from riding a thousand cocks. AWALT

>>18092070
I don't understand this whole if I fuck an escort ill get more confidence logic? If you pay someone to take your drivers test for you does that make you a better driver? hell no, you need to understand how to pursue a woman on your own without paying them to fuck you, and then understand that every woman wants something different sexually. the escort just wants you to cum as fast as possible so she can get her $300 bucks on be on her way, so she's gunna act super into whatever the fuck you're doing.

in my opinion you'd get more confidence in your naked body walking around the locker room at your local gym

>>18092885
There is no downside to going to escorts if you can afford it. Go for it.

>>18094045
Found the virgin. To get better and more confident at sex you need to... have sex! What a revelation.

>>18094059
did you read what i wrote? i explained why thats not a good route.

>>18094067
I read it and you're completely clueless.

>>18094072
fuckin an escort will not make you better at picking up women, prove me wrong

>>18092070
The average age for losing virginity is just under 18. So for every 3 kids who manage to get laid at 13 there's a 33 year old virgin.

The point is that you're unusual, but not way off the scale.

>>18094084
It worked for me. And has worked for many other anons too.

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22 when I lost mine. I thought it'd never happen. 28 currently and getting married to that same girl, we've been living together for the past 5 years.

Life's great, but sex is overrated. Also, masturbation and sex couldn't be more different. That's the biggest truth of getting laid, they're separate entities. I still like masturbation, for the temporary release. Actual sex is much more intense, but not always preferred.

Also, don't fuck a whore, dude. Just be confident, go out and go clubbing and meet girls. It's really not that hard. You don't even have to be fit, just be confident and well groomed.

>>18094045
oh shut up. for a lot of people there's a lot of anxiety going on about the first time, and paying a prostitute is a way of practicing the act in itself. i'm never going to have the guts to pick up girls if i haven't tried fucking like all of those girls did a long time ago at this age (22)

>>18094337
Sex is only overrated when you have it.

Also, even though it's not hard for you, it might be hard for others. "Just be confident" is the worst piece of advice ever

I lost mine when I was 20. Huge disappointment. I really thought it was going to be the most mind blowing wonderful thing in the world. But it was actually lame, and kind of gross. The girl got so wet and it was all over me, I wasn't a fan of that.

Haven't had sex since, and in 27 years old now.

>>18094337

>go out clubbing

Will the meme fucking die already? Clubbing is one of the shallowest things humans can do

>>18094337
>Just be confident, go out and go clubbing and meet girls.

Not really not the type to go clubbing.

>>18094444

Specifically what is the reason you want to lose your virginity. Is it because YOU actually want to do it? What is your end goal?

Or do you just feel pressured?

>>18094456
To get laid, to scratch that itch, to be on the same playing field as everyone else.

I'm so far behind everyone else it's ridiculous. Getting laid isn't my ultimate goal to be honest, and I would like get to in a organic way but I don't really meet many people nor do they share many interests with me.

>>18094494
>>18094456

I mean it's still a base human desire that needs to be met. Hell, why do you think that traps are SO popular on 4chan?

>>18094494

So out of pressure..

If you do that you're going to have a bad experience like I did. this is me >>18094426 I only had sex because I wanted to get that card punched and I though it'd benefit me in some way. But in reality, it just created a bad memory. That experience actually sort of fucked me up. My friends said after I got laid the first time that it would give me so much confidence to meet other girls. But all it did is make me really regret it and caused me to avoid sex for the past 7 years.

So, I guess you're going to do it. You should actually WANT to do it. The most important thing.... if you do it, do it with someone that you actually WANT to do it with. But really dude, Virginity is just a meme. I thought that experience would "make me a man", but I felt no different afterward then I did before. It doesn't mean jack shit.

>>18094502
>I mean it's still a base human desire that needs to be met

That's not true. Not everyone NEEDS sex in their lives

>>18094510

*if you're going to do it

>>18094510
>Almost as bad as the "be yourself" meme

>>18094512
>That's not true. Not everyone NEEDS sex in their lives

Of there are freaks of nature, no one is denying that.

>>18094510
>So out of pressure..

So you're just going to assume shit?

>>18094551

You're blinded by your own sex drive.

Not everyone NEEDS sex in their life. It's not a requirement to survive. There are many people who are successful and live fulfilling lives without having sex.

If anything, the people who shit on those who don't have sex, are probably the most shallow of all. If sex is their only motivation in life, then they must have a really boring and worthless existence

>>18094553

Maybe I made a mistake, but it seemed implied when you said "to get on the same playing field as everyone else"

>>18094557
>There are many people who are successful and live fulfilling lives without having sex.

Yes, euunchs and disabled people.

>>18094569

tell me how sex is a "need"

>>18094561
In terms of relationships, who wants to guide a late 20s virgin through the basics of relationships and sex?

>>18094557
I feel like you're one of those people who post too intelligent for sex threads.

>>18094576

Well, I don't know how well you learn from video instruction. But I watched some porn before I had sex for the first time and made mental notes. When I had sex, the girl did not know I was a virgin. I sort of just did what I saw in the porn (but not as intense obviously) and from her after reaction, I guess I did good. Because the next day she texted me asking me to come over her place. But I declined because even tho she had a great time, I didn't.

I just use logic man. I'm not that intelligent

>>18094590
How old were you then?

>>18094595

20... so yeah I know to you at 31 that probably seems like a joke. But the girl way for sure had a lot of experience since she was a total slut.

As I said, I'm 27 now and haven't had sex since. Like you hinted at, I feel very behind my peers as well. But I'm not going to have sex again unless it with a girl I actually feel comfortable with. If that doesn't happen, oh well.

>>18094045
I thought it was obvious but the reason most virgins get an escort is so they can have more normalized relations with women. If I go on the dating scene as a virgin you know that I will be thirsty as fuck. Women will never have sex with me because they can smell that. It comes from nature, probably a smell to it.

At least if I had it, I can make up a story about my first time, "her name was Mandy, she was 22 I was 26" in case it weirdly comes up in conversation. Then its like all right, not a virgin, doesn't care about losing it, not acting like a manwhore, okay we can fuck what the heck the girl is drunk lol

Remember you have to refresh that shit on occasion like if nobody is boning you for over a year then you need to revisit an escort so you can quench your thirst a tad then go back to the dating scene.

>>18094610
>20

>>18094622

What I'm trying to say is, I'm 27 now, but I'm no different (when it comes to girls) than I was when I was a virgin at 19. I didn't learn jack shit from when I lost my v card. I'm trying to say that it literally means nothing

>>18094621
A woman that is truly interestes in you won't care if you are thirsty or not as long as you act normal and now like a creepy masturbation adict.

If a girl doesn't want to see past that then she is not worth it.

Once a girl likes you she likes you, dating will take minimal effort.
Now if you're talking about being around girls and pick up a random chick, maybe that could help.

But remember that if you don't trust yourself and escort is useless.

I'm 32 and a khv. I would never go to a hooker because knowing me, I would feel much worse afterwards. My mind would pile the fact that I had to pay someone large amounts of money just to be near me wouldn't feel like a confidence boost in any manner.

To me the feeling of desperation disappeared around 30 and I don't feel anything is missing in my life. I never really think about it outside of 4chan.

How can you get to your thirties a virgin, are you guys obese or something?

>>18094610
Dude, you probably mean well, but I don't think people should take advice from you. Wanting to be more like your peers is not necessarily the same as doing something out of pressure.

You're the one with the extremely unusual story; you fucked a girl who enjoyed, but then decided not to have sex for the next 7 years. That's not fucking normal and you shouldn't be giving advice based on your unusual experience

don't hire a hooker

hire a sex surrogate. It's like a therapist who has sex with you

>>18095033
In my case nothing ever happened. No one showed interest in me, I never had interest in anyone. Biology never kicked in and made me desperate or anxious about it.

in two weeks I will be a 32 yo wizard

in the last weeks I finally accepted my fate, after trying to hit on dozens of women and having a grand total of two dates in my whole life, both with hot girls though

>>18095033
i grew up with terrible skin, and as a result, terrible confidence levels. now that i'm not a teen anymore i actually look decent/average, but can you imagine how it feels having no experience when everyone else does? add to this that i've suffered from anxiety (not that bad anymore) and don't really have a lot of places to meet girls. i'm only early 20's but i could easily get to my 30s like this if i don't make some drastic changes

>>18095020

Its not that bad youre overthinking it. Just go there fuck them. Sometimes its really bad, but sometimes its awesome. They are actual humans and its possible eventually one of them turn out to like you. Older women love being shown attention from young men, its a huge confidence boost for them.

>>18095046
I will be 33 and I have had no dates. Remember there's always someone worse off than you.

Almost 33 here,

Devoted myself to school (read now party later) then went to work for one place after another which went absolutely broke and then couldn't pay me a cent. At this point, my only interest is figuring out how to line up work in another state where folks can keep up with payroll and keep their doors open. It's hard getting employers to take you seriously when all your prior employers are out of business.

>>18095044
not that easy to find one though

>>18095049
I have no understanding of how to choose anyone to fuck. I can easily say if someone is pretty but I have no attraction towards anyone, let alone any capacity to fool anyone I like them enough to bring them home or go to their place.

>>18095044
So they have sex with you and listen to you whine? If there's a buyer, there's always a seller.

>>18095057
In other words, no game.

Practice your conversation constantly and then learn to read between the lines. The rest is just figuring out which buttons to press and when to press them. Feminists will always demonize the pursuit of this knowledge, but the opposite of having this knowledge is being socially retarded.

>>18095044
Is that a thing?

>>18095061
>The rest is just figuring out which buttons to press and when to press them
Easier said than done.

>>18095061
You are misunderstanding completely. I have no problem talking to women. I have been dared speaking to women many times. I'm not afraid of being rejected because there is nothing to be rejected from. I have no attraction towards anyone, I don't get hard just seeing women, I don't see a woman at a bar and sit and wish I would have the balls to speak to her to get to make out with her or get her home. They are mostly like decoration to me. I've never been in love or longed for someone I didn't get and no one have been interested in me.

>>18095020
ok then there's no problem. fuck off and let people who actually have a problem get help

>>18095089 was for >>18095073

>>18095089
My problem is that I wish to have a sexual attraction. So there's no solution to my problem.

>>18095096
Piss off please.

I'd rather die a virgin than ever be vulnerable to the danger of being cheated on. People are evil.

I lost mine last week at 29 and I regret it. The girl wasn't really that into me and now I can't stop thinking about her. It's a torturous feeling and if I could do it again I would've just waited.

>>18095124
The worst thing is when your whole life is ripped to shreds in divorce court. Every kind of evil thing courts aren't supposed to do, family law court does with lightning speed and universal impunity. I've been cleaned out and left penniless, gone home empty-handed from suddenly ended jobs, because of OTHER PEOPLE'S divorces.

Fuck the modern world.

>>18094337
>22 when I lost mine
That's early compared to most people on this site
>just b confident
yeah nah, I don't know why you're on this site.

>>18095246
>because of OTHER PEOPLE'S divorces.
How?

>>18092070
Most people wouldn't even think it's possible, but that is their bias. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin. Granted you are spending all that extra time somewhere else, right?

>>18095124
>I'd rather die a virgin than ever be vulnerable to the danger of being cheated on.
True that
>marry the love of your life
>5 years later she divorces you and cleans you out for child support
>10 years later you find out it's another man's child but you're still obligated to pay for it because you're on the birth certificate

>>18095280
The court wiped business accounts out, entirely. The entire law firm was shut the fuck down because one woman was owed child support - by default.

Long story short: woman leaves her husband while he's in the hospital, then her lawyer destroys the entire business the two of them were part of. Every single client got burned, including a multinational corporation and someone who was on TV all through the 90s. A biological mother was fighting to get her child back from known abusers, but her case died with the law firm. Lots and lots and lots of people got thrown under the bus; one man were even locked up by corrupt government officials who knew his lawyer's phone had been turned off because the money was gone.

That woman had a mansion with maids in it, and she put working class families out of their homes because she wanted more. I don't think I'll ever be able to hate anything more than I hate California family law. The support she was owed was not based on her husband's real income, but his POTENTIAL income assuming the entire world economy hadn't just crashed in the prior years. Needless to say, he wasn't actually making as much as his documented potential income.

Mind you, we were all law people. We couldn't fight back against this at all; they basically slit our collective throat by surprise.

>>18095120
That's the world I live in. No help.

>>18095328
You got some imagination.

>>18095309
Why do most anons have this paranoia?

Why don't they just go nerdgay?

>>18095763
Feminism.

>>18095763
>Why do most anons have this paranoia?

For me, it's because I have relatives paying for children they did not father and I lost a job because the employer was cleaned out by his wife. Jobs are extremely hard to find where I'm at, and if you lose one suddenly then you're in a world of shit.

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>>18094444
>>18094429
>>18094411

Perhaps clubbing isn't the best example. Simple it down to 'just leave the fucking house' and go out and meet people.

Also, 'be confident' might be a meme, but radiating insecurity is even worse than being overweight or below-average looking. I've seen guys wasting life at gyms for literal years and still being single.

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>>18092070
Absolutely, a big part of women's subconcious judgement of worth is led by confirmation bias.
If women find out you'll soon be regarded as nigger tier within their inner friend circle.

>>18095309
>I'd rather die a virgin than ever be vulnerable

FTFY

Vulnerable to being rejected, hurt, left. cheated on, laughed at - you're right, you just don't want to be vulnerable. Only that no good thing in life will ever come to you that way. You always have to take risks and make yourself vulnerable. If you won't do that, enjoy the view from your Basement window and playing WoW all day.

>love of your life

Yeah, maybe you just pedestalised the fuck out of her too much to realise that she never even liked you all that much in the first place.

Reading how badly people care about being a virgin and that they want to hire an escort just so they can say they had sex is more pathetic to me than someone being a virgin to be honest.

>>18096579
It's really not. All sorts of men go to escorts. In fact the men who do are mostly the successful types who can get sex for "free" as well.

>>18096581
I'm talking about people who specifically want to hire an escort just so they can say they had sex. That amount of insecurity is more pathetic to me than just being a virgin. Which I actually don't care about. It would make me raise my eyebrows and wonder if the guy has something wrong with him, but if he is otherwise fine I really don't give a shit.

>>18096596
Going to an escort can really help, don't knock it. Think of her as your personal trainer. If a guy has no experience at an age where it's considered weird, then it's better to practice with escorts instead of disappointing the first gf he gets.

I don't think you should be embarrassed - it's hardly something you have to mention your first time and if you watch enough porn, you'll know what to do when the time comes.

I cannot discourage you enough in the deal of getting an escort or prostitute just to lose your virginity. If I found out a guy I liked had ever slept with someone for money, I'd lose a lot of respect for them and probably avoid a relationship with them. Although I can see the benefits of an escort, it's something I personally could not accept my partner doing.

You really don't have anything to worry about. These aren't the kind of things which are discussed before having sex with someone and regardless, it's your choice whether you tell another person. I've been with guys who were awful the first time we slept together but after a few times, they were great.

Things will almost always be lousy with a new partner anyway, so try not to worry and definitely don't be embarrassed.

>>18096603
Or he could not give a shit and tell her he's a virgin and they can have fun practicing together. If she's not willing to do that much for you, she probably doesn't like you that much in the first place. It's not like there's a limit to how much sex you can have with your gf if you both want to. If you've had plenty of sex and it's still not working out, then maybe you're just not sexually compatible. Who cares, break up and get another gf. Why do you care so fucking much jfc

If all you care about is sex, then hire an escort.

>>18096603
Why though? I'm a 26 year old virgin, and I'm under the impression that girls don't give a shit.
I made some thread on an anonymous app about being a virgin looking of r girl to lose it with, and got plenty of responses from fairly hot girls - even went on my first few dates from that.
Had another girl jump in my bed after a mutual frined told her about my virginity, and another one invited me back to her place after I told her myself.
And even then - all of you are talking about embarassing yourself in front of a girl you're in love with.

Well, shouldn't you, be able to , you know, kinda trust her then? There's randoms who don't care, and a girl who actually likes you sure as hell won't either, and probably teach you ten times as much as any hooker can.

>>18096615
>And even then - all of you are talking about embarassing yourself in front of a girl you're in love with.

>Well, shouldn't you, be able to , you know, kinda trust her then? There's randoms who don't care, and a girl who actually likes you sure as hell won't either, and probably teach you ten times as much as any hooker can.

So much this.
I'm a very possessive woman though, so maybe that's why I don't give a shit if he's a virgin. If I loved someone, him being with other women obviously isn't going to be a deal breaker and ofcourse I don't expect most older men to be virgins. Just saying I really feel like men care more about their and their fellow mens virginity than women do.

>>18096615
Wait, you have had plenty of offers and even girls in your bed and you're still a virgin?

>>18096622
>Just saying I really feel like men care more about their and their fellow mens virginity than women do.

To be honest, I wouldn't know, the handful of women I talk too are the eldery and oldet married women who see me as some sort of surrogate son.