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Anonymous
Do breaks actually work? 2017-03-01 02:53:32 Post No. 18090808
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Do breaks actually work? 2017-03-01 02:53:32 Post No. 18090808
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So, I've been in a relationship for nearly two years now. Anyway, found out bf was flirting with another girl from his work. This isn't the first time this has happened, it happened in the first three months of dating each other although I didn't find out until three months after because he for some reason never deletes any of his messages. I know I'm dumb and probably should've dumped him then but idk I already had feelings and it wasn't too bad, at least I thought so.
Anyway, now I am devastated and feel horrible about myself because this happened again.. I know what should I expect? Once stuff like that happens its bound to happen again. This is my first long term relationship btw. Since I've found this out I brought the whole situation up to him, we got in a fight, he tried to blame it on me, then act like he didn't know what he was doing, basically tried to play dumb or act like I was an idiot. I obviously caught his bullshit and he then admitted what he did was wrong and cried and begged me to stay...in the end I did. Its been a week later but I still can't get this situation out of my head, I know flirting isn't that bad, but apparently hes done it even more then two times when I have repeatedly told him that in my eyes its cheating and I don't approve of it and I'd never flirt with others.
I feel like I should leave him but I don't wanna ruin this relationship that we have built up. He texted the girl he was flirting with and basically told her to fuck off and that he was done and loves me, then deleted her number. He promised that he would change and that he really loves me and doesn't want to lose me. However, I have trust issues as it is and idk if I can get through this with him..I wanna take a break but does those things even work? Do couples that take a break just end up breaking up in the end or having still a shitty relationship? Any advice from people who have been in a similar situation/ have had a break in their relationship?
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Or side note, should I just grow up and realize that maybe flirting isn't bad at all? Idk my roommate brought up that flirting isn't that bad but It just irks me a ton.
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Flirting is bad, and you should dump him
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He sounds like a piece of trash.
Dump his ass and find someone who treats you properly.
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Well i think the flirting is fine, but the fact that he tries to place the blame on you is a sign of an emotionally abusive relationship. It may start as him trying to put the blame on you but may escalate to him making you feel like your not worth anything and that everything that happens is your fault. So i think that its up to you what you choose to do, if you choose to stay woth him know that the flirting wont stop and that it isnt your fault. You arent in control of others behaviours you are only in control of your own. And if you choose to leave him that you shouldnt feel bad about it what you choose is whats best for you. I hope you the best in whatever you decide
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Flirting can kinda be grey zone (Though usually it's rarely so innocent) and the fact that it's even happening at all means there's a big problem in the relationship, maybe how you mix or perhaps just a character flaw on his part (Maybe he's always been a flirter cuz it's fun)
I think rather than just forgive him and move on or jumping him, maybe find out WHY he felt so compelled to flirt. Ask if you're doing something wrong, ask if he's having trouble committing only to one girl for some reason, etc.
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Just leave the dickhead, mate.
He's gonna end up a cheater and cheaters deserve no sympathy, they should all be burnt alive.
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