Psychological insight needed

>>18086980
as a psychology student I can tell you that psychology itself doesn't know how to help you yet.

That being said, as a veteran hitchhiker I can advise getting some completely new perspective in life. New experiences, especially new people. At some point you may come across a person you won't be able to disasseble this way, and it may make you find another way of interacting with them.
Or possibly they may offer you their way of seeing things

>>18087050
I have met quite a broad range of people, and shared my inner workings, cards openly on the table style, but to no avail, it emphasizes the disconnect, being fundamentally opposed or disconnected from that kind of mindset, out of reach, it leaves me with an affirmative bitter taste which turns to disdain and a sense of hostility or alienness if I let that go unchecked and don't just put it out my mind.
The problem with perspectives of others is that no matter what, it can always be reduced to either a strength or a weakness, the primordial perspective is transcendent over all, the value template is always there no matter how it is filled in, not everything can be solved or relegated into a matter of perspective, no matter what, it will have vulnerabilities unless it values nothing.

Do you think changing the environment completely for a life alone on the road for a while might be good? Perhaps force myself out of my own control and away from any lasting social interaction, only transient encounters.

>>18087129
I don't really have enough context to advise pro or against any drastic measures. It may help, indeed. It definitely managed to change my view of many things in life. The advantage was, that I always had to rely on other people - I've thus seen them valuable, strong and kind to me. Thus I could always trust them and value them.
Remember that you haven't tried every possible worldview at this point. There still may or may not be a person you won't be able to cope with using your tools.

There is a situation that comes to my mind:
I have always been ruled by my head. What my brain wanted was being done, what the body needed could be neglected at any time for any period. I loved (and still love) absolute control. For the same reason - even though I tried them - I don't like drugs.
Anyway - when I was 19 or 20 yo I accidentally
came into my gf (falling condom issue). While the problem was being processed and we were looking for a solution (neither of us wanted to have a child at that point), I got invited by my friend to join some yoga workshop in the mountains. I was really depressed heavily all the time then.
I was ordered to perform some kind of exercise I didn't knew how to complete. The teacher told me then:
"no, anon, it won't be the way you want it. You will bow your head." I did and it worked.
That experience broke me, but in a positive sense. I've seen then that there indeed may be a situation in one's life, with which they aren't able to cope using their usual ways. It has taught me some humility. Since then I managed to feel better.


So some experience of this kind may prove very beneficial and if you are willing to try it I see no harm in this. Just remember, that if you try and achieve nothing it doesn't necesserily mean this approach is wrong.


That being said, keep in mind - your case is way more severe then mine. It very well may be you have some kind of mental condition with which only a doctor may help you.

>>18087168
cont.

maybe your ego is just too strong and stiff. Maybe you ignore the nonunderstandable parts of the people you meet.

>>18087175
Funny you should have such an aversion to drugs as someone who values control. To me the opposite is true, drugs provide control over not just my state but if shared, that of others too, once the effects are known it gives control and social interaction becomes more tolerable, it can swing to the masochistic side of things but it can overpower the need for absolute control temporarily at least.

You don't need to worry with your safety disclaimers btw, I have a psychiatrist and psychologist and have had for a long time and fortunately for everyone, effective impulse control.

>>18087244
I have no aversion for drugs, I do them sometimes. But I don't truly enjoy it. Knowing what drug does does not make me able to control the achieved state.

And the disclaimers are not for mine safety. One could hardly catch me for whatever reason having but the record of what I write here. After all you must have seen the general 4chan disclaimer, huh?
I simply inform you I don't think I understand your problems enough to be sure of my advice.

So yeah, changing your environment, and especially the position toward the other people may be a good answer

>>18086980
You could think about how to build them back up even better after you take them apart.

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664KB, 500x281px

>>18088097
This is what I have done several times and it works, they are grateful but when they get stronger they develop resentment or defiance, they distance themselves like from a father figure, to me it it invariably end in disappointment or betrayal which is what I expect anyway but I'd like to be wrong for once, no such luck.