Life since dad was arrested for cp

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>>18086807
As an adult male living at the house I was also brought in for questioning, but it was obvious that I wasn't really the suspect. I kept quiet during the interview and only answered the bare essentials, and when I returned home I learned that my dad had denied any knowledge of the images, and was released on bail.

I got the impression that the police and the social workers were trying to apply pressure on all of us so that he would confess. After a talk with a social worker who had insinuated that he was almost definitely guilty, my mum (who is not really computer literate, and was struggling to understand the finer details of the case) told him not to come back to the house. This drove him into a deep depression, and on one awful morning I woke up to a text from him, saying a final goodbye. My siblings had received similar mesages. None of us could contact him, and he wasn't at the house where he had been sleeping (under the terms of his bail, he wasn't allowed to live at the family house due to my two younger sisters, who are children). Desperately we kept calling him and calling him, and finally my brother managed to get through to him and convince him not to go through with it. He returned home emotionally shattered, but we gave him our support while he apologised again and again for what he'd put us through, and together we started to get back to 'normal'. At this point he was resolute that he knew nothing about the images, and we hopefully half-believed him. Maybe he was telling the truth, maybe the police had misidentified the IP address, or maybe the image had ended up on the computer by accident.

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>>18086809
We wouldn't find out anything else until the police had investigated what they had confiscated, and with their resources being stretched, the date for this kept being pushed back and back. My family returned to an uneasy sort of happiness. My dad would be there for most of the day, we'd all have a family meal together, and then he'd leave in the evening. We didn't really talk about the case, and most days we could just forget about it. I think we all got lulled into this false sense of happiness, which is why it was that much more of a blow when the police finally got back to say that they had gone through the confiscated equipment, and evidence of hundreds more images had been found.

My dad broke down in tears, and finally admitted his guilt. For years he'd been viewing cp at night, when the rest of us were asleep. He was brought back in for further questioning, where he entered a guilty plea to most of the charges they brought before him. The local papers picked up on the story and, given his reputation in the community, made it front-page news. The comments on social media were what you'd expect - "Kill the bastard!" "Disgusting pedo scum, should be hung!". A rival right-wing politician shared the story, and joked that he'd deservedly get raped in prison. Family members on my mom's side have said, in some form of support for her, they'd "rip his fucking head off" if they saw him again. Needless to say, my dad has resigned from all the boards/councils he was on, and now lives alone and completely ashamed. He's not had his trial yet, but it's likely that he'll be sent to prison.

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>>18086815
My mom has (understandably) asked him to stay away from our house, so he's had no contact at all with my younger sisters. As you might have guessed, we've all taken it pretty roughly. One sister returned to her antidepressants. Another says she's ok, but we can hear her crying at night. My third sister has developed pretty serious anorexia since this happened (I guess it must be related), and is very close to needing to be hospitalised. I don't know if they're getting bullied at school, but it wouldn't be surprising. My mom is trying to stay strong for our sakes, but it's obvious she's in bits too. She's filed for divorce, and wil be returning to her maiden name. As part of the divorce, my childhood home is being sold. I don't understand why that has to be the case and I don't want it to happen, but far be it for me to tell my mom what she should be doing in this situation, none of us really know what is right.

None of us have seen him face-to-face since he admitted he was guilty, but me and my adult siblings have been in contact with him by email. He sent us a long message, apologising again and again for what he was putting the family through. He offered no excuse for what he'd done, as he didn't think there could be any excuse, but tried to explain it to us. I'll share some of those explanations now, so that you can maybe understand the mind of someone who watches cp.

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>>18086821
Firstly, he wanted to assure us that he'd never actually harmed a child, that he'd always deleted the images after he'd obtained them, and felt only disgust and self-loathing for himself when he was done. He had been sexually abused more than once as a child, including by his own grandfather (I had never been aware of this). The complete lack of intimacy with my mum had left him feeling increasingly unwanted and isolated at home, and she wouldn't go to counselling. He started to view cp, and was as addicted to the companionship of the people he talked to as he was to the images themselves. When his father (my granddad) died suddenly, he became even more depressed, and sank deeper into the habit, but he always deleted the images, and hated himself for what he was doing. A little over a year before he was arrested he had started going to counselling to address what he was doing, and felt like he had been making progress, and that the intervals between his crimes were getting longer and longer and he'd eventually be able to cut them out altogether.

After reading that, I feel hard to feel anything for him apart from pity and compassion. Yes, he's destroyed my family and put us all through often unbearable pain, but I don't think it's any worse than the pain he's been feeling himself for so many years. I don't believe he should go to prison. He's never harmed another person in his life, and he's just not cut out for life in prison. He's already lost everything. Every day of his working life has been to provide for his family, and now he's lost that and seriously harmed the people he loves most in the process. He thought he could do good by turning his hand to politics, but now the people who used to respect him will never see him as anything but a disgrace. He'll have to sign the sex offenders register, with all that entails. Of course, he only has himself to blame. But that doesn't make it any less sad.

>>18086827
Well, I have pretty much nothing to tell you at this point... Just letting you know I've read this, anon. I can sympathise with both you and your dad and wish you the best you can get.

I remember your first thread. I'm incredibly sorry, and I feel bad for your father too. Would you consider sending in that post to some newspapers or online journals? I sympathize with your father quite a bit. I agree that intensive counseling is more appropriate than prison, if he truly never has harmed anyone in real life. Hopefully that is the case. You seem to be an incredibly thoughtful person, and I'm sure your father greatly appreciated your compassion. Hopefully your family can overcome this eventually. I suggested previously that you all move towns. I think once everything has been settled you all should strongly consider that. Once again, good luck, I'm so sorry these things happen.

>>18086864
Thanks

>>18086870
If I feel like the local newspapers are trying to sensationalise the story and profit from our misfortune then I'd consider sending something similar to this in a letter, but otherwise I think I'd rather just keep it to myself. I wrote it for my own benefit really, because I can't express these sorts of things when I talk with friends/family in real life. I've already moved towns (coincidentally, not because of this) - I'm not sure what the rest of the family will do. My sisters are pretty settled at school. I still have a strong attachment to the town too, I'd always wanted to visit it regularly even if I'd moved away. Not sure I'll be doing that now. Thanks for the kind words

if you have any information on how or why he got caught, im sure it would be useful to other anons. not that you should advise on the system to get around crimes, but if they're anything like your father they might deserve a chance.

Having fapped to cp before, I can relate to the story. I'm not nearly into it as deep as he was (in fact I lost interest in it almost entirely, fapping to it like once a year in average)

Punishment for possessing those images is way too harsh. I don't think this "fetish" has to be made socially acceptable as homossexualism as some radical pedo's propose, but as long as nobody has been harmed by said persons directly, they have to be understood and treated, maybe insitutionalized, but not arrested. It's just too much.

>>18086963
>as long as nobody has been harmed by said persons directly
Oh so the kids getting fucked don't matter at all. No harm there?

Thanks for proving why people think people like you and OP's dad should be gassed.

>>18086960
In an email to us he mentioned that as he got deeper into the 'addiction' he used to take more and more risks. I'm not sure what that means - Tor was installed on the computer, so maybe he used to use Tor, but stopped. I think the initial warrant was based on the fact that an image had been sent from our IP address (when he was on an online chatroom), so that's how we was caught.

>>18086963
That's how I feel too, though obviously I'm biased by my experience. Hope you have the strength to stop doing it.

>>18086996
It's maybe a bit of a semantic argument at this point, but I don't think any of the images he had were of kids getting fucked - as far as I'm aware he had hundreds of images, but they were all the lowest category of indecent image (ie nude but not sexual). I take your point though, these images cannot exist without child abuse having been committed.

If you can't do the time, don't do the crime.

>>18086996

I'd rather gas iliterate fuckers like you who either can't read or discern direct from indirect harm

After the image is produced harm is done already. Obviously it has to be repressed, I wouldn't want to be a harmed kid growing up knowing that people are fapping to me. But it's way less harmful than illegal production and distribuction of drugs for instance, because information can be easily replicated, so it doesn't need to be continuously produced. I'm not saying this should be done, but if all child abuse stopped right now, you could still provide said images to every person on earth forever even after the kids are dead. That's how information works.

>>18087002

Thanks bro. Like I said, I rarelly ever do that nowadays. It was huge for me in the days of kazaa, specially because I was underage or really early in my 18's.

If I can provide some elightment from my experience, trust your father when he says that this is a result of him being abused. I wasn't, but had sexual experiences in early childhood and was introverted and missed out sex in my teens, so I think that's why cp ever stuck to me in the first place. I'd actually classify myself as majorly "ephebophilic" or whatever the term is for people with boners for teens.

And being lonely in a relationship contributes too. My gf for my early 20's was boring as fuck in bed, cold as a fridge. So I did resort to it on occasion. Now I have a gf who's great in bed and satisfies a lot of more healthier fetishes, plus has a thing for "virgin" roleplay that not only fits right in my "ephebo" needs, so I don't have an urge for it.

I'd say I'm mostly neutral to it now. Not disgusted, but not an instaboner anymore too.

>>18087002
Nude images are illegal?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't there pictures of nude children online that anyone can view without being arrested? I forgot the search phrase but I'm pretty sure you can't get arrested seeing nude children.

I'm not 100% sure, I just re-called it from a /pol/ thread a while back.

>>18086827
>Yes, he's destroyed my family and put us all through often unbearable pain,

I don't think he did. His arrest did. Number of people directly harmed before that? 0. Number of people directly harmed after his arrest? Your whole family. I can't stand how pedophiles have become the new scapegoat for all the violence of society.

Take care, if he does go to prison, don't forget about him. You'll literally be his whole world then.

>>18086996
Oh please. Nearly everything you touch has been made possible at someone expense. Do you have the same philosophy for the kids that were harmed when your cellphone or T-shirt was produced? Even more so when in this case you actively give money for it, creating the market? That's the epitome of modern hypocrisy.

>>18087049

It varies from country to country. Some places you can be arrested for kids in swimsuits in "sexual" poses, in others as long as it's not sexual it's fine, even if naked. Can't provide specifics though, just saying from the top of my mind.

Japs censor sexual organs and allow loli, brits banished squirt porn, so "sexual" content is very arbitrary and related to cultures or local burocrats individually

>>18087007
He's happy to go to prison, he feels like he deserves it. I just don't think he would do well at all in there, especially if he's with violent offenders who will see him as a target. He's not even slightly violent or confrontational, I don't think he'd be able to stand up for himself if it came to that.

>>18087049
I think if it's nude pictures of your own children, which many people have as part of their normal family albums, then obviously they won't prosecute you for it (although they will use it as part of their case if it's in conjunction with other indecent images). But I'm pretty sure having a collection of those sorts of images is illegal, especially if there's evidence that you've deliberately seeked them out. It's not as serious an offence as 'sexual' images, but it's an offence nonetheless.

>>18087052
Well yes, but he's an intelligent man with a background in law - he's always known that what he was doing was illegal (not to mention morally wrong), and what the consequences for his family would be if he was ever caught. And yet, he carried on doing it (addiction or no addiction), he was caught, and now his family has been severely harmed. But that's one reason why I wanted to write this, so that some people at least would see the nuance in the situation. Couldn't the police have come to the door with their evidence but sent him to a mental health specialist instead? Couldn't they have confiscated his computer equipment and limited his internet usage without pressing criminal charges and pushing for him to be sent to prison? Couldn't we as a society view him as a sick man with a history of being abused, who hated himself but still went to lengths to make sure he didn't directly harm anyone, instead of seeing him as a depraved pervert? We've started to see all manner of mental health disorders and sexual orientations as 'natural', and something that the person shouldn't be blamed for, but we still treat these people as if they're plain evil.

>>18087059
Rekt

>>18087074
>morally wrong
do you actually think that merely watching photos already taken is moraly wrong indeed?
If so, why?

>>18087064
>brits banished squirt porn
you mean mature squirting women? on what basis?

>>18087085
I guess it depends on what exactly the photos are of. Anything even close to sexual cannot be made without child abuse occurring at some point - even if it's only in a very small way, searching out and viewing the image creates the market for that image to be created. Even non-sexual images could lead to a slippery slope whereby the person starts to seek out more and more graphic images. So I would class it as a moral wrong - in so far as I believe in morality anyway.

>>18087101
Not the guy you're arguing with, but the answer to the CP problem is pretty easy imo. Decriminalize CP and provide a small reward to anyone who can provide information leading to the arrest of the adult who produced the CP. CP will be widespread and then the people making CP will be scared to make it because there is no more secrecy about it, and people will be actively betraying them for distributing CP.

Keeping it illegal and secret harms the children more in the long run. Obviously producing it should still be illegal though.

>>18087090
If I recall, degeneracy and public health concerns, because they consider it's piss. Golden showers, scat and shit like that were banned along with the same arguments.

Anything between two (or more) consenting adults is game imo. It passed in 2014 if I recall.

>>18087108
so you need to make it actually very similar to drugs. And did those rules banished drugs? no.

See, the problem is that we don't know, whether a "normal" man might become a pedophile after viewing enough cp. There is a chance he might. And then there are people who don't merely view things, but feel powerful urges to actually *do* things. In this case to actually fuck kids. So we have no clue, whether it wouldn't make things a lot worse in the long run.
And decriminalisation would mean nobody can do anything to you unless you have already harmed a child - purely counterproductive

>>18087108
I think that would be a better solution for sure, but can you imagine the outrage if a politician proposed decriminalizing cp? It's a completely indefensible position in our society at the moment, people don't want to see anything except monsters.

I actually agree with you, I don't think he deserves a very harsh punishment. For me the only real moral issues come from what material he might have been using, considering what the creation of it may have done the kids in question. That and his efforts to quell the addiction may have been too little too late, but if he really made efforts to stop it I hope that it's well recognized in court.

I just had a conversation about this sort of topic with a coworker...she has a friend in jail right now who operated an actual ring of sorts...there was no sex, but lots of actual touching of neighborhood kids. The pedo himseld has stories of people in jail for life for pedophilia, who conspired to kidnap children or actually murdered them after raping them, etc. So in all seriousness this case seems quite mild, especially since he had access to actual children and seemed* to practice enough constraint to not do anything.

In all honesty the best thing you can do for him is be supportive, and recognize that jail isn't always as bad as people make it out to be (assuming he even goes to jail). For example the pedo I was talking about above is actually living a good life right now (too good desu) since the jail he's in is mid-low security so he has a relatively decent amount of freedom. Apparently nerd sub groups are a thing in jail and they all look out for each other while playing D&D every other night...fucking weird ass shit that is.

If your dad proves to be what you say he is and does land in jail, have it so that you and your siblings write him often while he's there. It should help his morale quite a bit.

I'm very sorry that your family has gone through this. Your father needs mental help, i feel pity for him. The affect it's had on your sisters are terrible, I hope they get better. I honestly hope your entire family gets better. No family deserves to go through that.

>>18087059
If my cellphone or t-shirt came with a photo of a 4 year old sucking dick, no. I wouldn't have bought it. There's no hypocrisy. Just you trying to justify child abuse.

>>18087186
troll confirmed
Or, though unlikely, somebody who has no damn idea what does it take to create his sweet t-shirts

>>18087194
Nah the troll here is the one claiming there's "no harm" in CP. But he tried to change the subject to t-shirts when called out on it.

I actually regret having fapped to lolicon. I hate Pecos and even reported a few online to the police, but I still feel ashamed for what I did. am I evil like OP's dad for fapping to loli a year ago? I also did it once 2 weeks ago but I imagined the character with toys and ass, fir some reason I wasn't able to do the flat chest in my head

>child labor and other forms of exploitation exists in the world therefore it's okay for me to fap to and/or perpetuate child rape

pedos not even once lmao

>>18087144
>lots of actual touching of neighborhood kids
I hope you didn't defend this.

>>18087225

No, not at all. Was quite terrible, not the type of experience anyone needs at an early age obviously.
Not totally sure why my coworker associates with him, I think it's because she's known him for a while and believes he has the capacity to do better for himself.

>>18087199
Not him, but I think he was trying to argue that theres no harm in simply viewing the images if you don't share or interact with them.

I guess on a practical level I kinda agree but its still pretty fucked up.

>>18086807

Like >>18086870, I remember seeing your first thread. That was striking to read as well.

To the topic, while I've never been attracted to pedophilia, I have great sympathy for those that do. I was raised in a hyper religuous environment and raised to regard standard pre/extramarital heterosexual sex as much the same. As a teenager, I went through much of the same self-hatred and pain that you mention your father going through. To this day my life is ruined by addiction to the idea of sex and extreme, extreme guilt associated with it.

The only difference is that my fixation is societally acceptable [to mainstream society].

I don't think your father deserves the hatred targetted at him. He sounds like he was a good person all along, and I don't believe that that's changed.

I hope you continue to support him, and I hope he finds some semblance of peace in his life.

In all honesty, I hope that for myself, too.

>>18087217
same auto correct, meant to say I fapped to them with TITS and ass

>>18087263

Beautiful post. Then I read >>18087268 and remembered where I was.
fucking kek, 4chan never change

>>18086807
>the act of writing this, in the form of an article, was purely cathartic. I'm not necessarily looking for advice or comments
>>>/f/acebook

>>18087186
If it came with a picture of the people busting their asses to manufacture them, you'd probably be just as disgusted

>>18087268
meant to say "damn auto correct"
>>18087286
I know I sound silly for loli, but am I evil like op's dad?

Look, the only piece of advice you can give your dad is that he should keep his mouth shut while on the inside, look mean and silent, and try to live through his prison time with as little damage as possible. But doing time is a small atonement, not a great tragedy of your family. You know, people go through that and get out, mostly in one piece. On the other hand, some kids got sexually abused to provide his pleasure and that of perverts like him, and they didn't do anything wrong to deserve it.

You, on the other hand, are free to support him. Your siblings and mom all have a decision to make. As you say, he harmed nobody directly, and has been a good father and husband. You owe him all that, also your life. If I was in your shoes (God forbid!) I'd probably stick by him. Probably with the understanding that if he ever crossed that line again, that would be it.

>>18086827
>I don't believe he should go to prison. He's never harmed another person in his life
dear anon
your story reads heartfelt and im sorry to hear what your family is going through. honestly made me feel sad.

liking children is not wrong itself, nobody is harmed if you dont act on it which your father did not. he did not choose his desire. (if he even has that desire as he apparently produced a few kids with your mother)

support your father!

>>18087139
Yea. Sadly our society values virtue signaling over practical solutions. We need to go back to only letting educated landowners vote imo.