Why do I have to live?

File: Nothing.png (8KB, 580x270px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 580x270px

It's somewhat unfair. I don't want to live, I don't want to feel anything anymore. Why are people around me attached to me? why does their happiness depend on me being alive? I can value that I have people there for me that cares, and I'm very grateful... I wish I could just vanish, leaving nothing behind, no pain for the others or memories.

I have no faith in the future, I don't think I'll ever be happy. I'm in a very bad mood and I have to make a huge effort for me to have just a slim chance of being happy. I have to show myself happy for the other people so they don't worry, I hate it when my family or friends worry about me. It's unfair for them. I can't keep up this kind of behaviour anymore, I just want it to end.

My psychologist is the only one that knew about this kind of feelings. He told me that I'm a good person, because I have people that loves me. Also, he told me that I would lose all the things I like, all the possible happy moments that I'd have still to live. That my family and friends would be devastated and I wouldn't want that. He thinks that I'm better now, but that's because I don't want him to worry, I'm becoming attached to him too... I know it's just fucking stupid, but I can't help it.

I don't think I'll ever have the balls to suicide, but please, give me a reason to believe that living is still worth it.