[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y ] [Search | | Home]

What social skills do you need to get a boyfriend? I know how

This is a blue board which means that it's for everybody (Safe For Work content only). If you see any adult content, please report it.

Thread replies: 56
Thread images: 1

File: 1486171453365.jpg (171KB, 529x705px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1486171453365.jpg
171KB, 529x705px
What social skills do you need to get a boyfriend?

I know how to get a hookup or FWB but Ive never figured out how to develop a relationship with someone
>>
>>18086695
if you know how to make friends, just apply those same skills towards a relationship. talk to them about stuff you like, hang out a bunch, and establish trust and support

then combine that stuff with sex and that's basically a relationship
>>
same way guys find girls, essentially.

get fit, financially successful, look good/stylish. the difference is that girls have to be alluring as opposed to guys learning how to man up and approach girls. and with the idea of feminism you should be more encouraged to do the approaching. try out guys you think you might like/might like you. then you're looking at what kinds of guys show up in certain locations. for example if you want a guy who drinks alcohol, go to the bar. if you want a handyman, go to a Nascar show.
>>
>>18086702
Guys I make friends with dont want sex, they date other people
>>
>used up slut
No wonder your ability to pair bond is impaired.
>>
>>18086695

Have stuff going on in your life so you don't need to constantly hang out with them. Realize that sometimes you'll have to do things you don't want but the other person wants/needs. Learn to ask for a reasonable commitment, learn to say "no", and learn to take a "no". Learn to ask for help, and learn to take it.

Basically, be a very, very good friend. YOu seem to have the sex part down, so work on companionship.
>>
>>18086708
Are you ugly, or fat as fuck?
>>
>>18086708
then you're probably ugly or have an unappealing personality.
>>
>>18086718
Damn, harsh. I have a bunch of female friends that are pretty and I don't want to have a relationship with them. Like holy shit.
>>
>>18086706
> try out guys you think you might like/might like you.

I guess this is my problem. I get crushes on guys who are way, way, way out of my league, and when I try less attractive guys the most I can get out of them is casual sex or a rejection.
>>
>>18086718
I'm >>18086814 and if she had an unappealing attitude I don't think those guys would be friends with her.
>>
>>18086715
I don't constantly hang out with anybody.

I can take a "no", but I just want some yes's for once
>>
>>18086695
Pick one, don't be a bitch.
Also, treat your men right, without putting him on a pedestal.
>>
>>18086832
>pick one

Pick? I don't have anyone to pick from
>>
>>18086822
> if she had an unappealing attitude I don't think those guys would be friends with her

I dunno. I have friends who have unappealing personality traits, but that's fine because I don't have to be around them every day. When you take someone on as a romantic partner, those traits become a much bigger problem that you now have to deal with regularly.
>>
>>18086828

I was talking in a general sense. I only know what you wrote about yourself, so I don't know much about you.

I'm saying "learn to share" if you want a relationship. "Be a good companion/friend" if you want it to last.
>>
>>18086820
>I get crushes on guys who are way, way, way out of my league

Again, your problem is probably just that you're unattractive, don't take care of yourself, or just act generally annoying. I can guarantee you it's one of those three things.
>>
>>18086837
Ok, how do I identify unappealing personality traits?

I think I can be narcissistic at times and even though I have the ability to empathise with other people, I always express it awkwardly.
>>
>>18086833
you know how to hookup, right?
Good, because you'll be doing this quite a bit until you find a guy you like.
it'll take awhile. Might aswell put this objective as a side objective.
>>
>>18086840
I'm more than willing to share and be a good companion if somebody gave me the chance to.
>>
>>18086844
Just ask a close friend or someone you're around a lot (coworker, classmate, relative) for their honest opinion. You might be shocked to learn that you have some abrasive habits you weren't aware of.
>>
>>18086845
> until you find a guy you like.

I do like some of them, but they don't want anything more than just casual sex.

Why is is taking me much longer than almost everyone else?
>>
>>18086853

Then keep searching.

>>18086860
Why is is taking me much longer than almost everyone else?

Be with someone because you want to be with them specifically, not because you "have" to be with someone.
>>
>>18086860
You really don't want to rush relationships
Trust me, you really don't want to do that.
I speak with personal experience.
Put it as a side objective, carry on with your life.
>>
>>18086872
You didn't answer the question though, why is it taking so much longer for me to get a relationship?

I don't care about whether I actually want to be with the person, I just want some relationship experience, make some actual memories.
>>
>>18086878
>why is it taking so much longer for me to get a relationship?

How are we supposed to know that? None of us know you as a person. There's no solid black-or-white answer here, you're just going to have to gain some self awareness and learn how to improve yourself.
>>
>>18086877
In what way am I rushing relationships? I'm 24. I'm very, very, very late.
>>
>>18086878
>You didn't answer the question though, why is it taking so much longer for me to get a relationship?

THere are 30 year-old virgins. Even older ones, too. There's no normal. It's not "taking you longer", it's taking you as long as you need to get there.

> I just want some relationship experience, make some actual memories.

No one wants to be your "test run". Don't use people.
>>
>>18086890
No, it's not late.
It's still early.
Like i said, carry on with your life.
It'll come naturally.
>>
>>18086894
>THere are 30 year-old virgins

They are not normal.

Normal exists, it's just a mathematical calculation of averages. The average age someone has their first relationship is in their teen years. I'm way, way, older. Therefore there is something inferior and wrong about me.
>>
>>18086903
You sound like you have self-esteem/emotional issues more than anything, I would talk to a counselor or a shrink first and worry about relationships later.
>>
>>18086896
In what way is 24 early.

Why hasn't it come naturally to me all this time?

How do you expect me to just have blind faith in the idea that it'll happen for me?
>>
>>18086903

>Normal exists, it's just a mathematical calculation of averages. The average age someone has their first relationship is in their teen years. I'm way, way, older. Therefore there is something inferior and wrong about me.

Average people don't make millions of dollars a week. Yet those that do are not "inferior", right?

Deviating from the "average" doesn't ALWAYS make you lesser. It makes you different. Sometimes better, sometimes worse, sometimes it's impossible to say it better or worse.

Where you a single mother at 14? No? Then you are better than some girls out there that might have had a "relationship" already. "Normal", "better" and "worse" are relative. Don't follow an ideal "normal" because you'll always fall short. We all do. THat's only a way to be unhappy forever.
>>
>>18086911
I already have a therapist, I've been in and out therapy for years.

I have low self esteem because no one wants me.
>>
>>18086912
Well, if you want to rush things out, be my guest. Just don't complain if your boyfriend is a terrible person or you get into serious problems due to his attitudes.
Good luck.
>>
>>18086920
I've always been jealous of teenage mothers, they were desirable and wanted and had relationships way, way, way earlier than me. I feel inferior to them. Whenever I see young girls who are holding hands with their boyfriend or are pregnant I feel like crying.
>>
>>18086931
There is no one to be my boyfriend anyway.
>>
>>18086924
>>18086932
>>18086939

i don't mean a therapist, i mean someone who can prescribe you some medication, you sound fucking crazy (no offense) to be honest, which is probably why people don't want to date you.
>>
>>18086949
I've been on prozac, sertalin, cilatopram and propanolol

The reason why I'm depressed is because no one wants to date me, not the other way around.
>>
>>18086952
>The reason why I'm depressed is because no one wants to date me, not the other way around.

Sweetheart, it's called a "vicious circle". You sound like a nightmare to be around, so no one wants to do it. You get sadder, and become more unbearable, repeat.

You have to break the circle. Find meaning outside of a relationship and learn to love yourself. Then you can think about someone else loving you.
>>
>>18086964
I know plenty of girls who are depressed and bipolar and all sorts of things but they still get boyfriends

I don't have a boyfriend because I'm subhuman.

How can I find something to love about myself when no one except my mother can?
>>
>>18086968
getting a boyfriend is not going to fix your problem of being crazy

seriously, you are fucking nuts, you need to talk to a professional
>>
>>18086974
I've talked to professionals

What exactly is crazy about what I'm saying?
>>
>>18086968

That's up to you. I bet they don't spend their time whinning online about their depression and instead are out there having relaitonships. Friendships and shit. Learning to be with people and to be by themselves.
>>
>>18086968
>>18086982

Or, you know, there boyfriends are crazy too. Forgot to add that.
>>
>>18086982
It's not like I spend all my time whining on the internet. I have a social life.

Are you the anon who called me sweetheart?
>>
>>18086988

Yeah, I am. To keep things light I call people "mate", "dude", and shit. Hope it didn't bother you, "dude" didn't sound right.

> I have a social life.

Doesn't mean you are a good partner.
>>
>>18086994
You're not someone I know, are you?

Where are you from.
>>
>>18087000

Latin America, so I don't call people "sweetheart" in real life.

Don't worry, you haven't been exposed. But don't try to change the subject. Look into your life and find why people might not want to be in a relationship with you.
>>
>>18086977
>What exactly is crazy about what I'm saying?

>I don't have a boyfriend because I'm subhuman.
>The reason why I'm depressed is because no one wants to date me, not the other way around.
>I've always been jealous of teenage mothers, they were desirable and wanted and had relationships way, way, way earlier than me. I feel inferior to them.
>I don't care about whether I actually want to be with the person, I just want some relationship experience

None of these things are things a sane person would actually say. You are literally obsessed with the idea of a boyfriend to such an unhealthy degree that you're just saying insane shit now. You really sound schizophrenic.
>>
>>18087006
It's because I equate self worth with having a boyfriend.
>>
>>18087010

That's not healthy or sane, though.
>>
>>18087011
What's the healthy/sane way of looking at self-worth?
>>
>>18087015

"Self-worth" comes from you. If you put it in the hands of others, you are their plaything. Here's where "Be happy even alone" comes from. If you can't be with yourself, then you have osmething to fix.
>>
>>18086952
The reason you're depressed is because you're a little bitch who doesn't have the will to change.

I had the same issue as a guy and I simply refused to let that be the case. So I fought until I got what I wanted. Being a victim doesn't help you solve your problems nor does bitching about it.

Identify your goals, research what it takes to get them, establish what you have and what you don't, and then improve yourself.

FYI to all: Improving yourself is usually the answer to all your problems.
>>
>>18086695
Just forget about it for a while and do other stuff. Social skills aren't bought, or made in a single day. Just do other stuff, and gain enjoyment from them. Try paintballing, it's very fun and exhilarating. The importance of having a boyfriend or girlfriend is significantly overstated, when in fact it's a lot more important that you enjoy your life, which is very possible to do with or without someone else.
Thread posts: 56
Thread images: 1


[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / bant / biz / c / can / cgl / ck / cm / co / cock / d / diy / e / fa / fap / fit / fitlit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mlpol / mo / mtv / mu / n / news / o / out / outsoc / p / po / pol / qa / qst / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / spa / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vint / vip / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Search | Top | Home]
Please support this website by donating Bitcoins to 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5
If a post contains copyrighted or illegal content, please click on that post's [Report] button and fill out a post removal request
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows an archive of their content. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.