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Anonymous
How to stop overthinking/being paranoid 2017-02-27 05:02:33 Post No. 18085370
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How to stop overthinking/being paranoid 2017-02-27 05:02:33 Post No. 18085370
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So, I have this crippling habit of overthinking about the smallest shit, which usually ends up in misunderstandings with me and my gf, leading to fights. I always jump to some sort of conclusion I made up in my head and not think about the facts.
ex.
>be me
>look on Snapchat stories
>see gf having fun with her friends
>immediately thinking she's hooking up with another guy
>get paranoid, start pacing around the house
>accuse her of cheating on me
>get into fight
inb4 she's a sloot;
she's focused more into getting into med school, nerdy, in school clubs, and came from a semi-conservative, Filipino household. Also, she only has had (and currently) 1 bf: ME
I just want to stop this erratic overthinking cause I'm tired of getting into senseless fights over misunderstandings.
>>
I'd say accusing her of cheating on you with no evidence is where the real fuck-up is at.
also paranoia about cheating can do all sorts of things to your perceptions of reality. it can make men she's talking to seem more attractive than they actually are. it can make you imagine that every gathering she goes to is loaded with tons of potential mates. it's paranoia, and you need to deal with it yourself, instead of unleashing it on her.
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>>18085382
this of course has to be balanced with the fact that she *can* cheat, and that she even *might* cheat, but that is no excuse for going completely paranoid
just want things to be alright for you, anon
>>
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>>18085370
I suffer to something similar. I've learned to accept that I can't trust my own thoughts and reach out to friends/loved ones to talk to when I think I'm over thinking. I know it's really hard, but you have to learn to cope by destracting yourself and adressing your thoughts calmly. For example, if I where you I would tell my gf about my paranoia issues and alert her gently whenever I got these fealings. Follow these simple steps and don't sperg out, and you'll be alright anon.
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>>18085370
hate to break your bubble but just because she studies a lot doesn't mean she doesnt talk to guys.
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>>18085392
I know she does but I see and know most of those guys and they're mostly betas and are intimidated by me
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>>18085382
>you need to deal with it yourself
OP here, how do you do that exactly?
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>>18085388
I feel like if I do tell her about my paranoid thoughts, she'd get annoyed at me and drive her away more
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>>18085413
Honestly is the best way to go. Just tell her that you have paranoia and anxiety issues so that she knows your situation. It's for the best to be honest and tell people about your paranoia so they don't freak out when you have a moment out of nowhere.
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>>18085408
try being the observer of your thoughts rather than a participant, and learn to identify when you're becoming paranoid
when you're becoming paranoid, this is a problem with you, not her
of course always balancing this with the fact that she might cheat, anyone might cheat, accepting this is largely out of your control
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