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Anonymous
Emotional Abuse within Family 2017-02-26 09:40:21 Post No. 18084151
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Emotional Abuse within Family 2017-02-26 09:40:21 Post No. 18084151
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Hey /adv/
I apologize if there's a lack of structure to my post but that is really part of the problem. To quote wikipedia
"The victim may feel their emotions are being affected by the abuser so much that the victim may no longer recognize what their own feelings are about issue/s the abuser is trying to control."
I'll try to keep it as simple as I can;
>parents separate # of years ago
>from what i've seen and from what I know of them;
>dad is a genuine and hard working guy, mom cheated and he still wanted to make it work
>she means well but it seems she married out of comfortability, low self esteem, and her ability to control my dad
>I think she may be way smarter than him and got restless after she got more confidence later on in life
>again,before moving forward, ive been trying to put 2 and 2 together here without jumping to judgments
>decide to stay with dad keeping brother, dog & myself under 1 roof
>do it out of principle + feel for him, never been close either so figure it's good to spend more time with him too and show him I want to be friends
>he goes through an alternating phase of either; acting neurotic when she drops in to talk or kissing her ass in agreement as some deluded attempt to gain her approval. entire time he is learning to chase tail through online dating- they were eachothers first and only
>eventually gets a girlfriend, she finds more independance and things mellow out a little.
>both of them seem like fair weather friends at this point but its an improvement so not questioning it
>as time passes seems like my dad will change his personality overnight to be more like his girlfriend, turning into 'puppy dog behavior'
>infatuated feminine and moody- seems like a stranger acting like the world is just fucking dandy until he snaps back to reality about something negative and turns into an even greater stranger castrating you about small things neurotically. It has become apparent this neuroticism is the backbone to all the upcoming pain
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Your father is a beta male and you mother is an alpha female.
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>dad is a beta cuck
>mom is a whore
Nice story. What do you want?
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Brother and myself handle it in different ways but he always seems to be worse in my parents eyes at this time in life.
>his grades and apparent interest in them are suffering
>parent's confidence in him disapears, seem to be prodding/babying/helicopter parenting/condescending him, patronizing and disrespectful
>I don't even remember what life was like before baby brother, don't have a single memory of living with just the parents- like a fucking care package in what i can guess was a controlling hell hole
>It gets worse and i can see he is torn up by the way both of my parents treat him, losing confidence in himself too
>I try to stand up for him but this makes me the immediate target
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>>18084154
>>18084153
I'm well aware, appreciate the blunt honesty
To match your point and phrase it in terms of 4chans love for pack hierarchy type shit;
>being the son of a beta male with a matriarch mother who seems to have a contradicting vision of raising strong leaders for sons when she wants to be 'queen bee' is a living hell
>want to be man so i can raise a son who doesnt have to go through with this shit yet still has patience for those that do.
>put past in past, let bitches be bitches
>but feel like im emotionally dead, dad still trys to 'grab us by the ballls' because his girlfriend seems to do that to him
>keeps knocking me down, have these unhealthy thoughts of standing up for myself with violence
>want to let go, cant live with this bottled up but not the type to get bitched at all the time just for someone to pretend to be so fucking friendly when they're lonely
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fuck your dad's gf
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im well aware im in my feelings here, so ill spare the rest of the story but fuck man, try and tell this guy of my suicidal thoughts and practically begging him to ease up and be a little more conscious of how he speaks and all he can do is tell me I don't deserve it because i cant keep the house clean
meanwhile I have no problem keeping the house clean, its my brother he has been fighting with to do it- I just seemed to get bitched at the more I press the issue of not talking down to my brother and I
Used to be able to rationalize why and illustrate my points on this with logic, reasoning, examples, feeling, compassion, trying to put myself in his shoes etc, -that's all gone now, feel dead inside, nothing will work, all i remember is how he reacted when he i pleaded for help
How do I move foreward? I really just need an outside eye. Feels like too much pain to try and wrestle with it but not getting so much as any kind of recognition of the issue it feels like im being walked over. Is success really the best revenge here?
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>>18084219
thought of it more than once but I don't find her remotely attractive and that will only make him more a beta
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bumping for some input
I've learned a lot about myself, others and people in general from these experiences but I need to find some kind of resolve with them or at least a final thought and the physical action of getting out and beginning to apply it. Learn my lesson and grow up.
I'm starting to think I should get some help but becoming cold and untrusting- don't really know who i'd turn to, plus some days it feels like i'm begging for fish when I should out learning to catch them. Either way it's easier said than done and the bottom line is that I can't afford not to change my ways. I've gone down a long hard road of escaping my problems chasing a high(i.e, staying inside, being high pretty much anytime im not working, drinking many nights a week, chain smoking, too much unproductive alone time, over/undersleeping, skipping meals, living off fast food, wasting my money away, playing all kinds of vidya, tv, movies, desire to watch porn and perverse thoughts only ever increases, don't get me started on consiparacy thoughts). My mind feels like its falling apart and I feel like a fucking junkie and I cant do it anymore. Anybody else with a similar experience at least?
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