RIP Cory [ramble]

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I'm not really looking for advice. I don't even want someone to tell me I'm going to be okay, because that's selfish. But I have to write out something in my drunk state. My childhood neighbor recently committed suicide. I moved out when I was 18, he when he was 19. I'm now 25, and he was 31. But our parents still live next to each other. I knew their daughter lost her home in a recent flood and moved back in temporarily, had no idea he had lost his and moved back in too. Divorced earlier this year, lost two family members in the past two months, was suffering from some painful disease to the point he couldn't sleep, and lost his home. He waited til no one was home, and put a gun to his head in his parents' driveway. I wish we had known each other better, but the age gap was a little high growing up. Not to say we didn't hang out, because the street was filled with kids of different ages. But it was more like a relationship of an older cousin entertaining you. I wish I had gotten to know him as adults, because we shared similar interests. I don't know what I'm getting at. I've dealt with losses of young friends before. But a suicide of someone I truly knew less is hitting me harder. I don't even know what to say to your parents at your funeral tomorrow. Just you were always a kind soul in my memories, and I wish I had gotten to know you better. RIP Cory.