Relationship advice?

post but include a tl;dr, i'll tell you what you need to do
actually i'm going to guess right now that what you need is something fulfilling going on outside of relationships, let me see if i'm right

>>18073752
yeah thats probably true, I just met a new girl ive fallen deeply in love with and she loves me too, but im slowly starting to repeat negative behaviors of the past by becoming suspicious and controlling and I dont really like that.

Id agree though you're probably correct, still....
I feel like there must be an easier way to try and fix the behavior?

>>18073771
You realy have to be careful with those lessons. I was so posesive with one of my gf she dumped me and i cried blood so i learned my lesson then with the next one i was so liberal that i even let her go out with her xbf first i start pretending that i didnt care untill i really got used to it and really didnt care ... But it was too much she was insecure about what i really feelt about her ....women

type it out bitch. I've got an hour to help you.

>>18073771
nah you just gotta convince yourself that's she's not a turboslut and you don't need to worry about that stuff
and i was totally right

>>18073860
so you felt like just by not letting urself be possessive, you ended up actually just becoming that way??

>>18073869
tl;dr (both of these are LDR's - im not here for input about that however) I met my ex online a while ago and while we were talking but not dating she stayed over at some dudes house and told me. I asked her what they did she said they fucked , (later on she admitted that they didnt and I had taken her virginity), either way this made me feel like every time she wasnt replying she was cheating on me but this simply was not true. It was one of the many factors that led to us splitting up

I now have another girlfriend and I feel the same paranoid/possessive tendencies forming even though she hadn't done anything like my ex did and she's only slept with her ex boyfriend so she probably doesnt get around. I just want to be able to get my shit together so that this relationship can work and not become abusive

There is no infidelity-proofing a relationship bud and you need to deal with that fact. Also not everyone is going to cheat on you

>while we were talking but not dating

That really doesn't explain much, but if it was pretty casual before she slept with this guy I think you're overreacting. It doesn't feel good, but I don't know, maybe you started feeling for her before she did you and you didn't make you're feelings clear. Hard to work with zero details on this.

>>18073900
we had said we loved each other and had plans to visit just didnt say we were dating yet, especially because she was still getting out of her dysfunctional relationship (which is literally what the girl i love now is doing, minus the thing with another guy)

This happened way in the past and it probably was an overreaction to become overly paranoid its just something I want to fix

Its more than infidelity, sometimes i get paranoid she doesnt love me

>>18073891
I did man. The first times i was really boiling in jealousy but the trick is that she thought i was all cool she saw the security in me and i felt secured about that and then next time was really easy you trick the mind into feel like that to the point that i prefered to stay home when she wanted to go out with friends women love security in a man... But ey listen it also depends on the kind of women you have not all are that trust worthy ...

>>18073913
so wait the girl before and the girl now are/were technically in a relationship and are/were getting out of them?

>>18073921
yeh just a weird similarity, she isnt dating the guy rn but still living with him, and this has caused him to throw temper tantrums and shit

>>18073933
so the current girl is living with an ex? Well man it's not a good idea to starting seeing someone who's dating someone else in the first place..Not really your place to get possessive. I mean c'mon they're ALREADY doing to their current bf what you're fearing and you think they'll spare you?

>>18073939
they stopped seeing each other before i came along, and they arent still dating - do you comprehend that?