I'm probably in the wrong place to ask this kind of questions,

As long as your partner is okay with it and you consulted before hand, I think its fine.

>>18073256

in this case, I learned everything afterwards and the whole point of it was me being unaware of what was going on

OF COURSE this is assault.

I don't think you can press charges if you don't have any evidence but at the very least you gotta break up with him asap

If you didn't consent to this and disapprove of it, he should stop immediately. Its not worth instantly breaking up with him (as long as he respects your wishes and sees why you're upset), but you should have a real discussion and set things straight. My bf and I do this (not the recording part) but that's only because were BOTH into it.

>>18073262
I dont think this is normal and (as far as I know) technically it is sexual assault because you didnt consent. I honestly wouldnt mind if my partner did this to me but I wouldn't do it myself.

>>18073275
> I honestly wouldnt mind if my partner did this to me but I wouldn't do it myself.

That's what bugs me off - i don't find the act themselves so abnormal, but the idea that my consent was never even a question, and even worse - that the absence of consent was the main turn on in this whole scenario is very deeply disturbing to me, i'm still trying to cope with this feeling

>>18073295
Have you sat him down and told him that this really upset you and why? You should tell him everything you just said right there, and if he still doesn't even feel remorseful at all that's probably a sign he's not the kind of guy you thought he was.

>>18073306
He fucking sexually assaulted her. The fact that he thought this was okay, the fact that it even crossed his mind in the first place is a HUGE red flag that she needs to get the fuck out.

You are on some battered housewife shit right now lol

>>18073253
Personally, I'd throw him and his shit out and file a lawsuit.
Additionally, if I woke up with dried cum in my hair I would stab him.

>>18073312
Ok. But op posted on a board meant for advice, which obviously means she probably isnt just going to down right leave him without trying to work shit out so I was giving her advice on how they might be able to come to some semblance of an understanding

Like OBVIOUSLY op knows that if she really fucking feels raped she should break up with him/call the cops/sue. If she feels like a crime took place then yeah she should gtfo.

Op's question was vague as fuck so I'm just trying to give an alternate answer than the obvious barrage of "leave him" just incase she decides not to.

This seems like a very unique situation and obviously isnt the same as if he beat the shit out of her or held her down and raped her.

not normal

>>18073334

thanks for your understanding, when I posted it I was still pretty confused (or in shock) - but I actually think now that this >>18073320 kind of answer is probably the right one

>>18073345
Don't forget that you would be following the advice of an anon who's ready to physically assault her partner with a knife.

>>18073334
It is the same though.

>>18073253
Holy fuck Jesus, how can you even ask this? And he even filmed that. Is this a shitpost or what?

Ditch him, ASAP. This is sexual assault and has no respect for you whatsoever.

The maximum I did to my ex-girlfriend while she was asleep was fondling her body, preferably thighs, ass, belly, waist and tits. Kissing her neck, lips and face. Pressing my erect dick against between her ass cheeks, and sometimes going for the pussy with my fingers. BUT it was always my intention to wake her up and I knew she loved it to be waken up like that, even when it was in the middle of the night.

Unbelievable that he even filmed you, and jizzed on you. That shit's nasty to get off.

Guys just because something technically is classed as sexual assault doesn't make it this heinous horrible act, the context is extremely important

If a fat girl took advantage of me at a party while I was passed out and did stuff with my dick, that's assault and rape

If my girlfriend of many years did stuff with my dick while I was passed out in the same scenario because she was bored and in the mood, I wouldn't mind. Even though it's technically the exact same act in the eyes of the law

Context is important. In this context OP is obviously in a relationship with her partner and trusts him enough to sleep with him

She's obviously not comfortable with this and is a bit freaked out by his acts without her consent, but the advice she needs to be constructive is talk it out with him advice and establish clearer ground rules

Calls to dump his ass and get him convicted are really unwarranted

File: uhhh.png (23KB, 145x145px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 145x145px

>>18073295
>the absence of consent was the main turn on in this whole scenario
unless he told you that himself don't say that
we aren't women that read into everything we/others do to the Nth degree
I've just done it because its lewd to put it in while being big spoon

also 4chan turns into reddit more and more every day, holy shit

>>18073447
It doesn't matter that these two people are in a relationship. Sexual assault is sexual assault. The fact is, OP didn't consent to this behaviour. Op is upset. This is wrong and OP needs to have a serious conversation with their SO. trust has been broken and needs to be earned back if Op plans on keeping this relationship.

>>18073447
>If my girlfriend of many years did stuff with my dick

Well fondling is one thing, but not really comparable to OP'S case where not only did the bf jizz on her face while she was unaware and unable to stop it, but also filmed it. Seems a pretty damn disrespectful thing to do to your partner, no matter how pretty you word it.

>>18073447
if you come to the point of needing to sit your boyfriend down and lay down "ground rules" about how it's not okay to rape you while you're unconscious it's time to get out

do you even hear yourself right now?

>>18073560

Rape is a very heavy word to throw around like that

Considering if my girl did stuff to my while I was asleep I wouldn't care because I trust her and we fuck all the time anyway

That's my entire point
Just because it fits your textbook definition of rape doesn't mean it's time to string the poor dude up by his dick

>>18073775
with that logic there would never be rape in marriage
reallity shows you're wrong

>>18073253
>would you consider normal to perform sexual acts on your gf while she is asleep?
What, like going down on her to wake her up for sex? Of course that's fine, my girlfriend loves it when I OKAY WAIT HANG ON
>in this case, I learned everything afterwards and the whole point of it was me being unaware of what was going on
OBVIOUSLY THAT'S NOT NORMAL.

OBVIOUSLY IT'S NOT OK.

Goddamn I really need to read the whole thread before I start replying.

>>18073345
Obviously going after him with a knife is a bad idea, but I'm glad you came to the right conclusion. You should not be with this guy. There's something fundamentally wrong with his understanding of boundaries.

>>18073447
>>18073775
>I wouldn't mind it, therefore it is OK.

>>18073775
>Rape is a very heavy word to throw around like that
You're the one who said it's rape.

>If it's a fat girl, it's rape
>If it's a girl I like, it's not

You're a fucking retard.

If she consents, then it's fine.
If she hasn't consented, then it's sexual assault at the very least.
If there's no consent and full on penetration, that's rape.

Plain and simple.

With a few obvious exceptions, /adv/, I am proud of you today.

Ugh, so many tumblrinas

Fuck, OP, just sit your guy down and tell him not to do that shit from now on. Or alternatively, give him consent.

If he doesn't respect your wishes, consider dumping him.

And that's it. It's not a big deal; you hadn't talked about it, so it was just a misalignment of opinion. Make sure you're on the same page, and you're good to go.

Personally, when I'm with someone, I implicitly give consent for them to have their way with my body sexually at any time. I don't have to talk about it. Hell, my partner and I even joke about how these are "my boobs" or "my dick" (talking about each others body). But that's just me. You do you.

>>18073253
If you and your partner agree to it, then its fine. Otherwise no.
If theyve gone that far without asking break up. Its shit like this that makes people yell rape culture.

>>18073253
Legally, your partner can not consent while she is asleep. Keep this in mind.

But if she's into it, and you let her know you're going to do it beforehand, then sure why not. I'd get off on it. She would when she woke up.

>>18073948
Oh, you fucking idiot.

The fact that some people can get a little loopy about issues of consent doesn't mean that ANY SUCH ISSUE is a bunch of Tumblresque fake drama.

This isn't a guy who made a mistake, this is a guy who did something that virtually everybody understands isn't acceptable and then explained afterwards that the whole turn-on of it was that she was unaware what was going on and COULDN'T consent. That's a guy who has something deeply wrong with him.

If you don't get that, then there's something deeply wrong with you. I don't care whether you're a guy or a girl.

>>18073948
>It's not a big deal
Imagine if you just started dating this girl, and in your sleep she shoves a dragon dildo in your ass.
Its legally rape and while I don't like the rape laws, they exist because of faggots like you who do shit like this and thinks its cool and you can get away with a slap on the wrist.

File: unnamed-1.jpg (27KB, 391x377px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 391x377px

>>18073968
>>18073976

Have you ever been woken up to sex acts? I'm guessing not.

See >>18073952 for a reiteration of my opinion. (I'm not that anon though).

>>18073924
>I wouldn't mind it, therefore it is OK.
Um, yes? That's literally what being OK with something means.

Nobody else is involved in this relationship except her and him. If they're both okay with whatever is going on between them, what's the problem?

OP doesn't seem so bothered by it to dump him right there on the spot. She should talk it over with him and tell him to stop. If he doesn't THEN she should dump him.

>>18074080
>Have you ever been woken up to sex acts? I'm guessing not.
Yes I have, GF started playing with my boner in my sleep and I woke up. I told her that even though I was erect because it was a sleep erection my penis wasnt sensitive. If she had done anything more than that I would have broken up with her ass on the spot.

>>18074102

>Being this dogmatic about "rape" and "consent"

Fine. You go ahead and be like that. Just don't expect other people to subscribe to your stupidity and alarmism.

>Inb4 hurr you're condoning rape!

Do I have to spell it out for you? If it 'legally constitutes as rape' if doesn't matter. That's right, it doesn't. fucking. matter. The law is there to provide an avenue to protect people and is valid to be used in some cases, but dictating your life completely according to 'what the government says is right' is stupid. Up till very recently, the 'government' deemed men sticking their penis into another man's ass as 'illegal'. Are you going to go by that edict? What adults do in the bedroom is up to them alone. I swear, you hyper-legalistic nu-culture assholes are like Bible-thumpers losing their shit over homosexual sex "because it's wrong!".

I'm done arguing. Go continue to ruin society with your aberrations of common sense

>>18074245
The government didnt decide this you faggot, people did and the government complied. Anyone would feel violated if someone shoved a dragon dildo in them during their sleep. Its clearly immoral. Im not a consent maniac but fuck they exist because people like you have ZERO respect for boundaries and need to be locked up. Don't violate someone in their sleep. Why is that so hard to understand. It is immoral and yes it is a crime as it should be you fucking sicko.

>>18073262
Well, concerning these acts performed without giving consent, these are to be considered criminal. In multiple ways. First of in being abused by legal definition and secondly: being recorded. If you do not want your partner to land in jail you should not tell anyone since there is no parent act required

File: wrong.jpg (6KB, 225x225px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 225x225px

This thread is SJW and PC at its worst.

I'm married man and if I was unconcious and somebody cut off my leg to save my wife I would be ok with that.
OP maybe swallowed a bathtub of his semen before but suddenly some of it on her face is crime? They have relationship and they share a bed.

All you feminazis, if you are in REAL relationship you will do plenty things without consent of the other one. Would you call your guy when you want to buy new shoes using mutual account?

Op can be pissed if she feels so. She can be VERY pissed if she really did't like it. It can cost him a lot if she feels that way. But there is no fucking crime, unless he do such a thing AGAINST her consent.

>>18074311
>Id be okay with being raped so rape is fine
FUCK OFF

File: surprise.jpg (92KB, 386x391px) Image search: [Google]

92KB, 386x391px

>>18074313
All feminazis are sexually deprived with a lot of build up sexual tension.

Rape is THE number one womans sexual fantasy.

This is a reason why feminazis see rape everywhere and act SO agressively. It's just kind of arousal.

>>18074311
>>18074321

It doesn't matter what the number one woman's sexual fantasy is. Fact is, non-consensual acts of any kind of sex used on another (in this case while OP is sleeping) is wrong, illegal, and needs to be addressed.

OP did mention being fingered and the definition of rape is "The penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.”

https://www.justice.gov/opa/blog/updated-definition-rape

>>18073450
he said that himself when I confronted him with it, i'm not making this up

KANEDA! HELP MEEEEE!

Nevermind me, just commenting on the pic.

I have an ex that always said she wanted me to do that, but I never did. Didn't want to, plus there is always that nagging voice in the back of my head saying that it could be used against me for just trying to appease her. Except the video bit. I'd never do some shit like that, don't see the appeal personally.

Glad I never did or she'd probably be telling people I raped her or some shit.

At the end of the day the people involved need to both want it or it will just cause problems.

I would steer clear of that. What if down the road she says you drugged her and did that to her?

Sorry, I always expect the worst from people because in my experience that is exactly what is going to happen.

>>18073253

>would you consider it normal to perform sexual acts on your gf while she is asleep?
No

>Is it sexual assault?
Typically yes, but you have provided more context which results in this being more of a grey area.

Don't concern yourself with what convention says. Do YOU feel violated by these acts and do YOU want him to stop?

If so, then it cannot under any circumstance continue, and you need to let your partner know this and you are well within your right to be outraged at his acts and break up with him and even seek criminal justice.

However, if the acts did not bother you all too much, don't pretend to be outraged. It's not worth blowing it out of proportion for you or your partner. Just be clear that moving forward it's not allowed and any further infraction would have serious consequences.

Maybe you even liked it a little? If so, maybe this is just another form of sexual exploration for you and your partner - perhaps you can return the favour.

In the end, the critical factor is how YOU feel about it.

>>18073253
It is normal, but technically rape, without prior consent.

How do you feel about it? Is the violation rape for you? Go to the police.
Is it not rape but breakup worthy? Break up.
Is it not, but still "bad"? Tell your partner.

Getting fingered by my boyfriend is the same as he waking up to a bj.

Everything is not okay unless you tell her beforehand.

>>18074311
I feel sorry for your wife