ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

>>18073247
Movies are a terrible place for a first date. You cant get to know the person because you cant talk. Unless youve been friends before and just want an excuse to makeout.

How do I even flirt with people without knowing if they're gay? I feel like girls always say stuff like "you're cute" regardless of whether they're actually into you. Confusing as fuck.

Is this a stupid thing to do?

I was gonna message this girl something along the lines of asking if everything was alright, as she hasn't responded to my message and its been over 24 hrs. She always responds to these messages typically. So this is kinda odd, and a bit worrying. I may give it to Friday before I send it. (It would be 3 days then)

>>18073283
Are you a lesbian, or a guy paranoid about hitting on a lesbian?

To females:
What do you like when sòmeone goes down on you? How do I improve in this?

>>18073247
so my crush likes me back

I decided to start talking to other guys, so i don't obsess over him too much and ruin it. It's was working pretty well at first. The 3 other guys are spaced out nicely so theres no way they'd meet. I know this sound like orbiters or something but I'm mainly just talking to them via text so it's not serious.

Anyways this method isn't even working, and I need other ideas to help me stop thinking so much about him. I do have hobbies and school work but that only keeps me busy for so long.

The few friends i have are mutual friends between us so hanging out w/ them doesn't help much since he's usually around..

any advice on how to go do my own thing while i let this relationship slowly unravel in a healthy manner?

>>18073427
I don't understand. If your crush likes you back, why are you trying to distance yourself?

>>18073414
Oh, sorry, should've clarified. I'm a lesbian.

>>18073416
Slow and steady does it. And clit focus of course. Nothing worse than people slobbering all over the place. But of course it depends on the person, to a certain extent. Communicate and ask her what gets her off best.
>How do I improve in this
Practice makes perfect.

Girls

What do you think qualifies as a real man?

How do guys feel about younger girls who had a mastectomy? Would you still feel as strong for them "sexually" as a normal girl or would you feel like you're missing out or with some half-girl thing?

been stuck on a girl for almost a year at this point
never had nor have any classes with her, but I know some clubs she's in and we both volunteer at a theater to do usher work (rarely at the same time)
really only see her in the hallways daily otherwise
cannot tell if she likes me or not, she tries to be lowkey in staring at me but from personal experience I've come to the realization that that's impossible.
she is very clearly shy and I have yet to see her with a potential bf.
options are:
a) approach her in the hallway and say I recognize her from when we worked at one of the plays
b) get over her
c) stalk her straight up
d) semi-stalk her by joining literally every club I've seen her in

women choose because I'm sure most of you know how shy women work and probably know which option is the best one

>>18073464

Someone who's secure enough in their masculinity not to feel the need to ask inane questions about it to confirm if he qualifies.

>>18073467
What happened and why did you not get implants?
I love tits too much, so you know my answer.

>>18073470
STOP OPPRESSING INSECURE MEN, SHITLORD!

>>18073459
That makes things a lot harder. I think you either have to be really confident and just flirt with girls, even if they might be straight, or go to lesbian events, like a gay bar, or some kind of lesbian meeting event. Maybe Grindr?

>>18073483
>you have to be really confident
Oh well there goes my chance.
I've been to one LGBT event from my uni but they were all literal tumblerinas who shat on me for being femme and "affirming male beauty standards", whatever the fuck that means.
I've never tried online dating, I don't really think there's much of a lesbian community around. Isn't grindr a hookup app for gay dudes?

>>18073477
Just wanted to know what are the chances that most guys may require tits like you lol. Cancer?

To Western Girls how would you feel if a guy from a conservative country with conservative filial values askes you out? They'd go out with you not expecting sex, completely innocent and chaste and he asks to meet with your family to be familiar with them and asks for your parents blessing. I'm thinking some women would be completely wierded out or even offended by it.

>>18073467
I like me some tits, but I think I could be with a girl that had a mastectomy. It being a side effect of surviving a life threatening illness really makes it a lot easier to get used to.

Side note, is it only one boob, or both?

>>18073511
One, how badly do you think you'd miss a regular girl if you were dating a girl like this for a while though, this is what I worry bout. lol

>>18073283
>How do I even flirt with people without knowing if they're gay?

Not gay, or even a female but as someone who's played man for his best friend (who IS gay and female):

It's called gaydar :p.

Lacking that, you just swing until you hit just like everyone else. You could also try online dating (okcupid, tindr, scissr), gay bars, ladies night at gay clubs (around here that's Wednesdays), pride, concerts like teegan and sara, etc.

>>18073467
>How do guys feel about younger girls who had a mastectomy?

To be honest, I straight up kind of sucks to think about in the long term. But it's also something I wouldn't mind in the short, because it's a complication that's irrelevant then. Being attracted to and liking them comes first. The rest is secondary until it's not. A sort of "cross that bridge when we get there" type situation.

That being said, being deceitful about this kind of stuff would not end well at all, and some guys literally have this kind of stuff as their mission in life.

>>18073485
Yeah, it's Tinder for gay guys, but I assume it works for lesbians too. Of course I could be way off base.

Unless you want to start getting confident, online dating looks like your best bet.

>>18073467
ironically most of the girls I'm into have no tits
i just like them because they're cute and of legal age
if you are cute and the guy knows why you got it, there's zero problem
getting hard would be an issue except most people are into ass nowadays anyways, unless you're in asia

Girls and guys

Do any of you ever feel intimidated when you're around friends when they talk about sex?

All of my friends are alphas and chads. We are all hanging out at the moment drinking beer around a fire pit and they are all talking about sex stories. I feel super out of place and even a bit intimidated..

>>18073442
so i don't get clingy and scare him away, that's usually what happens

>>18073512
I think it would make less a difference the longer the relationship went on. I think getting used to it at the start would be the hardest part.

I dont know what to do

Saw this girl end of last year and shit got kinda serious
she ends up wanting to take a break cause of rough family shit
(confirmed family shit isnt bs excuse to leave me)
1 month later i try to talk to her but still wants some time alone
2 months later i see she is a lot better through the little social media she uses
want to start things up again since nothing bad/personal ever happened between us and she literally perfect
don't know how to start up things with her again without looking needy :|

what do?

>>18073467
>>18073467
If the girl herself is cool about it, then I wouldn't care. I'm more of a personality guy.

And i fall in love with the body of the person im with anyway, if I've been with them for a while. Mastectomy or not, in going to find them hella hot if I like them as a person.

>>18073519
Why does it suck in the long term?

>>18073525
>Do any of you ever feel intimidated when you're around friends when they talk about sex?

That's you being insecure about being a virgin. In really, no one gives a damn whether you are or are not. At most someone might tease you, but they still don't really give a shit. This is you hyping yourself up over basically nothing.

>>18073519
>>18073467
>mastectomy?

Derp. Mastectomy. For some reason my head went to hysterectomy.

Still no fucks given though. Personality first. Boobs are just boobs

>as someone who's played man
*as someone who's played wingman*

Too much watching of shows, much errors.

>>18073525
Good thing I don't have friends, then.

>>18073269
I actually find they're quite nice if you're bad at conversation starting or just more introverted.
Like, I struggle in the start of conversations, finding topics to talk about, etc, but am fine otherwise.
Movies are good because you can take a break to think, so to speak, and also have a guaranteed thing to talk about after.
I agree though, the movie alone date isn't usually a good idea, gotta follow up with coffee or something.

>>18073283
I asked my lesbian sister what the lesbian mating dance was,
she said there was no dance, you just flash flannel and you're in.

In all seriousness though, she says this is the biggest struggle of gay dating and is why online dating is so popular in the gay community.

>>18073468
Maybe just straight up approach and say that you recognise her and thought you'd say hi.

And then leave it at that for a little while. And then ask if she'd like to go for a coffee or whatever.
8f she says no out of shyness, just leave it as a "that's fine, maybe another time" deal and try again after a while.

I don't have too much experience, but I'm sure they might reject things at first but if you tried again with the same approach, they'd be more prepared.

But if you've tried loads of times then yeah, nah.
Also don't let this distract your mind from everything else. Shit's too much stress for the mind.

>>18073548

I'm not a virgin, I've had sex twice before a few years ago. But i don't know, maybe I am insecure but I do feel intimidated, really uncomfortable right now

>>18073510
I mean yes, there is probably a woman out there who would be weirded out and offended. Likewise there is probably a woman out there who would prefer this type of thing. Lots of different people out there in the world.

Now, my personal opinion, I don't mind falling into some old fashioned territory in gender roles and dating, a lot of it I actually prefer honestly. However, I do draw lines at some things.

Like, no, I'm not too keen on the casual no strings attached, and I'm always put off that it seems to be damn near impossible to date anymore without fucking after the first 4 sentences. But at the same time, I won't marry or think about something super serious and long term with someone I don't know I'm sexually compatible with. I want sex to come slower than most, sure, but not at a total snail speed.

And I've always told my dad, if the dude I'm with legitimately asks you for your permission to marry me, go ahead and tell him no because I'm probably gonna anyway lol. I always felt that practice to be extremely weird, seeing as how I'm no longer property or anything. My dad has basically zero say in who I marry, so I would find it laughable for a man to actually ask him for his permission before asking me.
Now the way you phrased it is much better though. Asking both my parents for their "blessing" to me is more asking them to accept you into the family. But still, to me I find it to be out of order. You should be asking me to marry you first, and then asking my parents to accept you. Because I mean, I could still say no even if my parents did like ya.
So that's just a handful of my feelings on some of those old fashioned things. Idk, middle ground and flexible dudes are usually favored in my book. Not too conservative, not too liberal.

>>18073510
Yeah I'd be weirded out. It's just too unnatural and phony for me.

When should I ask a girl out on a date when it comes to these dating apps?

>>18073570
>I'm not a virgin,

*shrug* then do you have a particularly peculiar or sheltered upbringing?

Because sex isn't an abnormal thing and our current societal values aren't exactly upper-crust Victorian English, so this kind of reaction does make seem like there has to be a reason behind it.

>>18073408
ideas?

>>18073577
>>18073572

How about if you liked the guy and asked him out and he has these kinds of values. He refuses sex from you because he feels its too early or that he hasnt met your family yet. Would this be a turn off?

>>18073585
Whenever you want to see her in person.
Personally, I think you should move offline asap, because the longer you sit around online the more impersonal it becomes and the more likely people are to lose interest.

I have a female friend who shuts down on me whenever I start talking about dates/potential romantic interests and I dont get why?

We're pretty open with each other, I talk to her about my issues, she tells me about hers. The thing is when we talk hookups/dates she'll bring up how she had sex with this dude from the bar, or about some guy shes talking to and we'll talk about it. Yesterday I texted her I had a date and her response wasn't what I expected. She was exasperated about how everyone gets dates except for her. "Good for you tho" was her followup. I expected her to want to know about her or how i met her or something. Later I texted her a bit asking her some advice and she didnt text me back. She texted me later but it was just idle chit chat, didnt ask about my date at all.

I found it strange, and offputting to be honest. This was just one instance, but theres been other times where she's done the same. She always goes a bit cold when something like this gets brought up. I feel as a friend she should be able to talk about this stuff with me, and if she doesnt, why bring up her own stuff but ignore mine? I get feeling uncomfortable about the subject matter itself, but why only get like that when its about me and not her? We've known each other for about a year but have only started hanging out and talking a lot in the past two months or so.

>>18073588

>*shrug* then do you have a particularly peculiar or sheltered upbringing

Well, I wouldn't say sheltered per say. But my parents went through a rough and long divorce when I was a teenager. So I never even talked to girls during all of middle and high school. Because I was too depressed and I did not feel comfortable bringing a girl home at all, I didn't even like being home so why bring a girl there. I didn't have a car either. Then I went into the military, was there for 5 years. That was the first and second time I had sex because buddies pressured me into it. I got out, became depressed from other reasons. Which brings me to now, 26 years old. Even tho I've done it. It wasn't enjoyable, it was stressful. But just hearing about it all the time from friends who are always doing it makes me feel uncomfortable because I don't understand shit. When friends talk, they'll look at me and say "dude you know when a girl's tits look like ***** and her ass is like ****? This girl I was with was soo good last week".

It's like a foreign language

>>18073596
It would be a turn off but if I liked him maybe I could roll with it, idk

The point is, it's not like I couldn't fall for a guy like this but those "values" would probably be a negative for me, not a plus

>>18073596
Possibly, but depends. Dating and love is all about compromise. No 2 people are going to agree on everything. It would just depend on if he's willing to work with me or not, or if it's his way or the highway.

Like, say we've been officially dating a month or so, thats about when I start hitting my limit of wanting to dip into some intimacy. Not necessarily full blown sex, but maybe start moving up the bases you know?
If he's one of those "absolutely no nudity or touching until marriage" types it ain't gonna work on my end.

>>18073597
Yeah, I'm pretty nervous she's really cute from her photos

>>18073610
Well if it makes you feel any better, they always are cute from the photos, because they're hand picked to showcase only their best. The best lighting, the best hair/makeup, the most flattering angles.
Not saying she's gonna be ugly when you do see her irl, just that she's likely going to not be quite as good looking. So remember that and take the edge off.

>>18073602
>But just hearing about it all the time from friends who are always doing it makes me feel uncomfortable because I don't understand shit.

So in the end it kind of comes full circle back to: you're basically a virgin.

If all the times you've had sex is because other people pressured you in to it, you can't really say that you really experienced sex.

Sex isn't just about the physical act, it's also about the psychological and mental rush, and that's the part that you've never had, and that's the part that makes you feel awkward.

Settle down, sex is something you should do when you're ready and willing, if you're not, don't mind it. If the convos bug you, turn a blind ear or find some friends who aren't as vocal about that kind of stuff. Take things at your own pace.

Girls how do you feel if a guy you like chooses the traditional feminine, nurturing, demure, and chaste type over you?

Can some girls give me tips on making eye contact with a girl does it come off creepy if u catch me looking at u and I smile?

question to fellow girls.
when I have sex, the "deciding what feels good to me" part of my brain shuts off. I don't know how else to describe it. Things will be actually painful to me and I can't even think that it hurts, let alone communicate to my partner that it doesn't feel good, until after. This is causing me serious problems because it's pretty near impossible to have a healthy sex life while not being able to distinguish and communicate whether I'm having a good time or not.
Does anyone else have this problem? What can I do?

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GIRLS, saw this on twitter today, is it true?

How can I casually get my female friend to have sex with me for money?

>>18073535
Any guy or girl able to offer me advice??

Guys, how much of a red flag is it when a girl was raised by a single dad?

>>18073776
True.
>>18073525
Not really.
>>18073464
Personally always get nervous when guys start talking about the traits of "real men". In my experience it usually means somebody is about to either do something cruel, violent, or self-harming.

>>18073831
Thats not a red flag, thats good faithful, resnsible wife material. It's single moms that are a cancer

>>18073831
Not even nearly as much as raised by a single mom.

>>18073831
>>18073831
It'd be more of a red flag if it was single mom imo. If your dad seems like an okay dude people probably wont think he diddled you either

>>18073822
>How can I casually get my female friend to have sex with me for money?

I'm a dude but... Come on dude... Do you really think there's ANY good way to ask a friend if they'd be a prostitute?

>>18073535
>Saw this girl end of last year and shit got kinda serious

Just reach out and say hey what's up, reach out, see what she's doing. Be genuinely concerned for her.

From there, take things as they come. You can't force things, if she's willing she's willing, if she ain't she ain't. simple as that.

>>18073831
>Guys, how much of a red flag is it when a girl was raised by a single dad?

There's a flag there?

>>18073467
Opinion time:
Tits are a genetic gift
Legs tell you more. If she moves a lot, if she only goes to the gym to get an ass, if she does nothing but eat butter.

>>18073842
>>18073535
aight bro, thanks for the advice! appreciate it :)

>>18073601
She views you as an asexual being. And probably not in a good way. I'd go way out on a limb and say that maybe you are her only platonic friend, so your dating life is a threat to that relationship. She doesn't seem to have romantic interest in you, since she talks about shit like that with you.

>>18073831
>Guys, how much of a red flag is it when a girl was raised by a single dad?

It isn´t mostly, it only becomes a red falg if said father strikes me as a unpleasant person, but even then, is only a minor red flag.

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I just got out a three year relationship a couple months ago. How the hell do I talk to women?

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What should I be on the look out for here, in terms of baggage and personal issues?
There's a girl at my work who seems to go out of her way to be around me, but she also seems palpably nervous around me. Mostly fidgeting and verbal diarrhea ("I'd be so happy if someone did XYZ, I'd totally rather make out with you than work). Okay that first example is more prevalent, that last one, even she knew that was weird. I also catch her staring at me. I get she is interested in me, but (CRUX OF ISSUE) there's this aura of desperation about her I can't shake. I'm not going full animal and thinking she's dangerous, the best way I can put it is she seems very lonely, even though she keeps herself busy in and out of work. Also, always has a kinda run down look in her face.
Not interested in her, more concerned.

Women:

Odd question

When you invite a guy over to sleep at your place, do you ask him sleep on the couch(lol) even though you are open to get intimate with him?

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Does anyone get extreme anxiety when it comes to the opposite sex?

I met this girl 2 years ago that I really liked, well when we started dating, around that exact same time I start to feel more and more anxious in life. I'd wake up feeling very tense and stressed in the morning and everything. Nothing bad ever happened between us btw to cause such anxiety. Things with her ended after a while and I went through a hellish amount of anxiety for a few weeks. Then magically I felt clear. Literally I felt like I was refreshed. It was weird. Anyways, I felt clear and clear for months and months. I met another girl, almost immediately after we started dating, I started waking up stressed and tense in the mornings.... and so on. Things ended.

I don't think I'm capable of having a relationship. I'm honestly starting to believe an emotional connection with someone isn't healthy. Which sucks because I feel lonley. But fuck, I can't go through this weird anxiety anymore. It literally starts up as soon as it appears I'm about to enter a relationship. It has nothing to do with any specific girl. It just happens. I can be platonic with a girl, but as soon as things start going emotional... it really fucks me up

>>18073822
do you honestly think paying her will work? like, comon man...
if she is your friend invite her out for drinks and try to have sex with her like any other normal human being...

>>18073897
If I was open to fucking him, I wouldn't make him sleep on the couch.

>>18073865
The same way you talked to your ex?

>>18073907

>if she is your friend invite her out for drinks and try to have sex with her like any other normal human being
>try to have sex with her like any other normal human being

Friends don't fuck friends

>>18073637
Not my type. I like to be the lady of the relationship lol.
>>18073670
Don't think you're creepy, smile with confidence. Only thing that makes you look creepy is the lack of confidence. If you're within talking distance, a simple hello works too.
>>18073776
unf yes. You know how fucking hard it is to find a good porno where the chick isn't screaming like a banshee and you can actually hear the dude grunt? It's great when you can.
>>18073897
No reason for him not to be in my bed as far as I see it. Like even if I wasn't in the mood that night, why not? Can get some cuddles in.
Would only banish to the couch if I had zero interest in him sexually.

>>18073914
Someone's behind on the times.

>>18073912
But that's not possible, my ex was basically a succubus and acted like a child. I couldn't talk to someone I barely know like I talked to my ex.

>>18073932
Talk to women the same way you'd talk to any friend/stranger. It's not that hard dude.
Pretend they're men. How the fuck do you strike up conversation with your buddies? Try that.

>>18073935
That's the thing. It's been almost 6 months since I've hung out with anyone since moving. I litterally eat, sleep, study, go to school, work on my car. That's fucking it. I have no clue how to socialize

>>18073926
>Not my type. I like to be the lady of the relationship lol.

I think you misunderstood his question, I think he asked why you would think if someone choose a girl like that over you.

>>18073637
But that is me. Unless you mean someone who is a total pushover as well, in which case I'd feel bad for her and consider myself to have dodged a bullet if you're the sort to desire a girl you can order around.

Girls, have you ever thought differently of someone who's asked you out and you rejected?

Reason I'm asking is because there's several girls that I want to ask out individually, I figure one of them would say yes. I know them reasonably but I wouldn't exactly consider them good friends. I'm worried that I might look like a loner, womanizer, thirsty, creep, or [insert negative label]. Am I standing to lose anything? Should I not be worried? I can deal with the rejection, I'm just worried what they might think of me after.

Women,
Have you ever slapped or physically lashed out at a man?
What was his response?

>>18073940
Its more natural than you think man. Whatever you think you should do, is probably the answer. See cute girl? Just walk up and say hello. Move your feet, move your mouth. You're overthinking it.

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>>18073955
Herp, its like midnight my bad. Disregard that I suck cocks
>>18073637
In which case, pretending I wasn't already that type, I'd shrug and move on. Can't win them all. Rejection always sucks but people want what they want. If I ain't it, then I ain't it.

Hey femanons,

How come I always heard you liked guys with with a good sense humor, but as I got older it just seems like you only laugh at handsome guys?

>>18073969
I will admit, I've had this happen before where a dude asked me out, I turned him down, and he like, immediately jumped onto one of my friends or something, who then turned him down, and then he immediately jumped onto someone else, etc.
My thoughts were "Lol ok, suppose none of us were really all that special to him."
So yeah, I guess in a way it does look desperate. Because theoretically, you should really just be gunning for one specific person instead of "whoever is the first to say yes".
Because otherwise you really don't give a shit about the person you're dating. You just care about the status of dating.
I'd suggest you really reflect, do you actually truly like any of these girls, or are you just lonely and desperate?

Otherwise if you gotta, for best results give it a cool down period in between rejections, especially if they all are friends/talk, if you're that concerned about looking bad.

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>>18073994
Idk, how come I always hear about men wanting nice, intelligent girls but then as I got older you only ever talked to the ones who weighed 90lbs and all 90 of it was in her ass and tits?

>>18073854
Im not her only platonic guy friend, shes actually a bit notorious for having a few. Ive had female friends in the past who have had no issue talking to me about this stuff, idk why she has a problem.

>>18074007
Nobody was having a good time before I showed up, cunt.

And they still aren't.

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>>18074016
Well, the man has a point I'll give.

>>18074007
Stop socializing or eavesdropping on shit guy.

No one wants a girl like that. They want a girl they can cuddle with and talk to and be best friends with.

Guys,

If you talk about women you think/ used to think are hot to or around a female acquaintance, does this mean you are trying to send signals that you aren't interested? Or does this mean that you are trying to make her jealous/gauge her reaction?

>>18074007
Because you can take care of your body and still be nice and intelligent.

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>>18074032
Just like you can be handsome and funny right ;)
You see the point I'm making here mate?

Girl coworker starts talking to me out of nowhere after working together for about three months. We've never even said hi to each other before this happened. We get to talking about relationships and how she was interested in another former coworker of hers. Moments later she rests her head on my shoulder. Couple weeks after that she asks for my number. She never texted me so I figured she wanted me to make a move. We do light flirting with each other at work. She lets me grab her butt she finds any reason to get my attention and always grabs my hand when we're leaving. I ask her out and she says to text her. I do and it takes her about a day to respond to say she has plans already. She did this to me twice.

What the hell wad that about? I don't I went in strong or anything. I mean, why go through all of that with me if she really wasn't interested? I was annoyed because I was really feeling her and I thought the feeling was mutual. I could be really corny sometimes, but not enough that I could've maybe scared her away.

She said, "I'm going out with a friend, but I'm gonna be honest and say that I'm a dick head. I like you as a person, but I'm not interested in dating at this point."

I understand, but why deny going out with me? It wasn't like we were gonna have sex or anything, I just really liked her and I just wanted to hang out with her. It's so easy for girls to string guys along and fuck with them.

>>18074031
We men GENERALLY don´t give "signals" (not on purpose at least), we either outright tell it or keep shut.

This doesn´t mean that if a man doesn´t hit on you he isn´t interested in you, he could be just scared.

>>18074035
But you can be

>>18074026
Is english not your first language? Lol just wondering if it's that or some sort of auto correct nightmare.

But yeah, I'm joking with that. I know that's not the truth just mocking the r9k attitude.

>>18074035
Not really. Men can't wear makeup so you are stuck to your looks and what women find attractive in men is 90% beyond their control like height and facial structure. A woman just needs to not be fat and wear makeup.

>>18074035
>Just like you can be handsome and funny right ;)

Not the anon you are quoting, but being "handsome" depends largely on facial structure, which you are born with and can´t do nothing about, unless you have enough for plastic surgery.

>>18073999
Oh they're not really all that connected. I just meant like, if somebody you knew seemingly out of the blue asked you out, if that changed your opinion of him.

They all seem like good people, I don't know them well enough for any of them to be really special to me. Plus getting to attached to someone before asking them out is generally a bad idea. To assume that I don't care about any of them and that I only care about my status is pretty stupid. You really expect me to fall in love with one specific person before asking them out, knowing that it's entirely possible that I could get rejected?

>>18074031
I don't play mental games like that. Or at least not intentionally. If I were to talk about things like that with a female acquaintance it would be because I'm comfortable around her and it would probably be relevant to the conversation we were having already.

>>18074031
We don't play stupid ass games like women do unless we're petty assholes, so we probably only consider you as a friend and therefore don't find any consequence in taking about other girls around you.

>>18074040
Yeesh, ok the sarcasm of the first post did not translate well I see. I was just mocking the "wah women are all cunts who ONLY care about appearance"
>>18074042
>>18074044
Thing is, one can argue women are far less visually oriented than men. Men are turned on by visuals, women are turned on by mentality. Meaning so long as you act confident and sexy, it doesn't matter nearly as much what you look like as it is for women. If women aren't visually appealing enough, it doesn't matter what other traits we have to compensate. Because we simply aint hot enough to fuck.
Then theres the ever changing concept of what's "not fat".
I've seen channers tell 120lbs girls they're obese. I've seen dudes categorize 150 as average. It's not the weight itself, it's how you carry it. You can be 100lbs even but if you've got an apple shaped figure, you'll always look fat because it all goes straight to the gut.
Ergo, you can't change your figure. You're stuck with it. No amount of diet or exercize will change that.

Besides, face is equally important in both sexes. "Butterface" is a term for a reason.

>>18074052
Nothing to do with the discussion, but now that you mention it, I want to ask, what is "acting sexy" when one is a man? like, i can clearly see what is acting sexy in a woman (moving your hips, etc), but what is sexy behavior in a man?

>>18074052
>Meaning so long as you act confident and sexy, it doesn't matter nearly as much what you look like as it is for women.
This is the kind of bullshit that makes ugly guys think they have a chance only to be crushed later.
Confidence is only attractive on an attractive person. An ugly person cant be sexy. Your lie is far more damaging.
>You can be 100lbs even but if you've got an apple shaped figure, you'll always look fat because it all goes straight to the gut.
Show me a 100lb person who's over like 5'2 and looks fat. If the fat goes to your stomach keep losing weight and put on some muscle for fucks sake. Yes, diet and exercise will change you looking like a whale.
>butterface
Makeup says hello.

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Girls, if you go on a cinema date with a guy it's a given that you expect him to put his arm around your shoulder, right?

>>18074065
Confidence mainly. Walking straight up to a woman, initiating, taking command, taking the lead.
>>18074067
Well I know that since you're so insecure you will never have had the actual experience to prove me wrong lol. I've dated dudes who were easily 5's just because they were confident.

Missed the point completely mate. I was saying what looks "fat" is subjective. My sister was underweight but had a beer belly. People called her fat all the time. She was in the best shape of her life, belly fat is just inherently stubborn on women because, woah. We have to have babies and shit.

No, you may not look like a whale, but you'll still be fat no matter what you do. Because some people are never satisfied.

>Makeup,
Yeah, because what men love is a total cake face.
You can wear make up too. Nothing's stopping you. If you can do it as subtly as girls have to without getting called out on wearing too much, then nobody will know.

Seriously, go check your self worth and confidence. Seek therapy and get that up. You'll be swimming in bitches in no time. Until you can do that, you can't really say it doesn't work. Youve never even tried because you dismissed it as being "too hard"
The same way fat chicks dismiss losing weight as "too hard" without ever fucking trying it.

>>18074014
Then she's just an attention whore. She doesn't like the fact you'll break orbit.

>>18074052
Why do girls suck so bad at showing sarcasm?

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>>18074111
because boys are too stupid to see it duh.

>>18074090
Oh Im not insecure or the guy you were originally talking to. I know how the game works and Im aight at it. Your bullshit feel good lies wont fool me because Im not some desperate orbiter who needs to hear somethingnice.
>My sister was underweight but had a beer belly
Aka your sister was fat. I dont give a shit about your underweight. Im underweight as well but when I wasnt running track all the weight went to my cheeks. Instead of bitching about it I just kept training through the off seasons. If you have fat somewhere you dont want lose it. Maybe if you gained some damn muscle your body wouldnt assume you were starving all the time and hording like a whale.
>you'll still be fat no matter what you do
Show me a picture of someone over 5'2 that weighs 100lbs and looks fat. Im waiting.
>Yeah, because what men love is a total cake face.
A woman who is a 5/10 can go easily to a 7 or 8 with makeup. Those shitty acne scars, be gone. That shitty complexion no more. Those bags under your eyes peace. What wrinkles. etc.
No a man cannot wear makeup without looking like a bitch. A 5/10 man will always look like a 5/10 man.

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>>18074126
Nah, you lack all confidence otherwise you wouldn't even be whining about this. If you wanna get good you can too. You can go to therapy and learn to love yourself and see yourself as hot shit. You can "unlearn the game" that doesn't actually exist.
Maybe if you made an effort to be a worth while man, you'd get women. Just like how you're claiming if women with unlikeable body shapes can just exercise that bad shape away.

>Heres one.
>In b4 you lie and say you dont think she looks fat just to prove your point,
this is fat to a LOT of men.

And yes, you can EASILY wear make up. Actors do all the time. You're just too much of a bitch boy to try. Because you don't want to be happy. You want to wallow in self pity crying woe is me I will never be good because I cant be assed to fix my shitty self esteem.

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>>18074121
Sarcasm depends solely on the delivery.

>>18074131
Why did you post a picture of a tubby
>you lack all confidence otherwise you wouldn't even be whining about this.
nah I know how the game works. Im tired of bitches and whores trying to give this feel good advice and leading men on like the manipulative snakes they are if you let them. Women like attractive confident men. If you arent attractive sucks for you, aim lower. Get wealth because women are gold diggers. Not this bullshit about women not being visual because thats a bold face lie and I hope you die for trying to spread it.

But seriously, why did you post a fatty, Shes literally bursting out the seems with fat. I can see that she's never touched a weight or has an ounce of muscle on her and thats the result. While I highly doubt shes 5'3 100lb, its completely possible if you remove whats supposed to be muscle. Im disgusted knowing she even exist.

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>>18074132
Says you stupid boy jeeze. Boys just don't kno nuthin

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>>18074135
Are you blaming the victim of your sarcasm? If you're going to attack, might as well do it properly.

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>>18074131
>this is fat to a LOT of men.
What crowd do you run with? I don't think I actually know a person that's so out of touch to think that's anything but average.

>>18074134
Called it lol. That girl is a perfectly healthy weight, under even. See, you can't just be "skinny" to get attraction. You have to carry all your weight correctly. You've proved my point exactly, thank you, thank you.

But whatever, theres no use arguing with you. You're clearly just showing how insecure you are, that you won't even try to better yourself, because its easier to just throw your hands up and cry "the world is rigged against me! boo hoo hoo" So have fun with your sad life man. I truly hope though that one day you do get the help you need, you see yourself in the more positive light, and you become confident enough to get women.
Because I really do, genuinely want to see you all succeed.

>>18074142
>4chan
Seriously go to soc. The chubby thread is full of average women and the average thread is full of skinny women.

>>18074143
>perfectly healthy weight
Yeah you can still be fat and be healthy weight. You fucking idiot. Why is it so hard for women to stop being fat pieces of shit.
>You have to carry all your weight correctly
You mean lose the fat like I said early. Way to fail at read. Women I swear, don't know why I expected more.
>if I keep calling him insecure Ill win
Pathetic that women honestly think ad hominems are a legit form of argumentation.
>I want to see you succeed
>its just I only love chad

>>18074131
that is really unfortunate fat distribution right there lol she probably needs a 9/10 face to save that shit

>>18074144
Yeah but I would never base my opinions off of something an imageboard says. I've seen them tell legitimately underweight women to lose weight, there are massively warped perceptions. I'm talking about real life, with real people. If a guy I hang out with now and then called a woman like that fat I'd just be stunned, not so much if a schmuck from 4chan did.

>>18074166
She needs to put on some muscle and lose fat. Why is the gym such a foreign concept to women

I met a girl ski instructor I really got along with a few weeks ago. Thing is I didn't get her number. We exchanged names, that's it. Would it be creepy/weird if I asked through another instructor I know to give her my number and ask her to contact me if she wants to? Both in our early thirties. It just seemed like we really hit it off, and it basically ended with me rejecting her last time

>>18074135
Stop trying to draw me into your lol look I post cute on the 4chinz trap.

You fucking bitch

So girls, what would you think if you knew a guy was bipolar? Is there like a "crazy and violent" stigma that comes to mind, or do you see it realistically and how it affects their personality and who they are?

How do women feel about guys that still live with their parents?

I am 29 and still live at home because my step dad is crippled and doesn't have full use of his arms and my mom is 63 years old. I like to be close by in case they need help with anything and also help out with money.

I only really see myself moving out if I met someone and we where going to move in together yet I can't see that happening as a 29 year old living with his parents.

>>18074207
That sounds like a really good reason to stay at home. I'm sure most women would unerstand. But at your age there will definitely be the need for privacy when you get a girlfriend, so preferably, she has her own place at least.

Is anyone awake?

>>18074288
Yes.
Chingchongmoot broke posting again though.

>>18074202
I'm not uneducated or in the habit of basing my perception of people on one single trait, so I wouldn't think any less of you for it.

>>18074207
Like >>18074222 said, I can understand why you'd want to live at home.

>>18074222
what if my step dad got in a fight with her dad and they are both crippled and she has to take care of hers too

>>18074292
Thanks for that. It actually means alot. It's either people don't seem to care, or it would tag myself as a non-person

>some pretty girl says she has a crush on me for a long time (I honestly have no idea who she was).
>ok let's date
>she denies me sex
How do I resolve this issue? I feel like I'm being pranked.

>>18074295
I'm more than aware that there are a lot of people out there struggling with mental health issues. If I were to dismiss people from my life because of them, my social circle would be significantly smaller. People are multi-dimensional, a person's health condition is not and should not be treated as their defining feature. You must be around a bunch of assholes if you've been treated like that in this day and age.

>>18074297
> how long have you been dating?
> what kind of girl is she? (race, religion, nationality)

>>18074297
Girls need emotional intimacy, guys need physical intimacy, and that's the balance in a relationship. She might be getting it on the side and freinds zoning you into a relationship to fulfill her emotional needs.

>>18074297
Also, I am very sexually frustrated. (Not surprising since I'm here). Extremely horny in the morning. I always have to jerk off at least once a day. If I don't have class, multiple times. I thought if I could do it with a girl as a release I would have more time to focus on my study

>>18074298
Thats good to hear. It sounds like it's the right people that get it and don't judge someone based on it.

>>18074202
Ill never understand bipolar people. Just stop being bipolar.

>>18074307
I wouldn't give it up, it's really great. But I hate it and want to die.

>>18074299
From last Saturday.

she's from some Eastern European country. Can't remember the exact details on her background, except she is a third year student, bio chemistry. But she's pretty.

>>18074300
Yeah, will ask her about it. (lol)

>>18074309
>wants to date girl to relieve sexual tension and focus on studies without giving a damn about her
>complains that you havent banged her after a week
God damn this is a smart girl. I hope she never sleeps with you.

>>18074315
You are the perfect example of neckbeard "nice guys" memes

>>18074309
Tbh senpai, I think she probably wants to focus on her studies and go on to med school. Most biochem majors I know, only 2, wants to be some sort of doctor. But then it doesn't make sense why she doesn't want sex, because it does help you relieve of stress.

>>18074309
Also there's alot of girls that are pretty anti-sexual, things in their past and such. But also it doesn't seem like you've been dating long and it's not uncommon to want more commitment before you have sex. And if she's really foreign, the whole American casual sex thing might not be normal for her.

>>18074315
Oh no no I care about her. I need some good way to express my feelings that would lead to sex

>>18074316
agreed!

>>18074307
You want people to think you are retarded
Was that the purpose of that post

>>18074333
I didn't think he/she was serious. Or he's referring to self proclaimed bipolar teenagers

I came out of a tough relationship a few months ago. Recently I've been thinking about an old crush and I want to ask her out, but I just can't nor do I know how. So many thoughts are stopping me - she knew about my previous relationship troubles, we haven't talked since December, I'm now a depressed autist, it could seem totally random and sudden for her, people might think I was thinking of her the whole time i.e. the reason for leaving my previous gf, or maybe I'd just be rejected and feel embarrassed, etc etc

I don't really know what to do. Part of me thinks I'm just overthinking it and that there shouldn't be any issues. I guess I've been feeling lonely lately and having a qt around would help me tons.

>tfw I don't want to feel anymore

>>18074037
Next time you get a chance to grab her ass, try to slide a finger forward and go for her pussy area. It should be a little wet. Amp up the flirting with more sexuality. Then when the time is ripe proceed to fuck her. Congratulations you now have a fuck buddy.

I finally manned up and got this girl I really like to go out with me. But ever since then I've been feeling depressed banging out with her it has nothing to do with her but it does for some reason. Has anyone else felt like this?

>>18073427

What the FUCK, if your crush likes you back just fucking ASK HIM OUT.

>>18073408
Ideas?

So this girl I am dating has come over to my place two times so far. Once for 4 hours and the other for 7.5. She has never once used the restroom at my place (it is clean). How is this possible? Does she have a lowkey diaper fetish or something? I pissed like 3 times during that period.

last time i hung out with my group of friends a female friend of mine kissed me several times and invited me over to watch a movie together late in the night, which we did. she was really drunk and i didn't make a move because i work with her and i was in fear she would accuse me of having taken advantage of her afterwards (we are not that close).
would it be weird to talk with her about the night or do i have to assume she was just drunk?

>>18074479
>would it be weird to talk with her about the night
No.

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I have an extremely delicate and fragile question for females.

There's a girl I like, she has very serious depression. I've been trying to approach her and help her for the past month, and it was a quite confusing experience, every time I showed any affection for her she would flinch. I asked recently if I was being annoying and she basically explained everything. Long story short, she says that I am very nice and that she feels special, and she dislikes that because she had many awful experiences with people that love her and then end up hurting her and leaving her, these experiences are what got her depressed in the first place. Since then she's been avoiding nice people or something. Says she is unable to trust anyone and always keeps her defenses up.

I was wondering what would happen after this conversation we had but she apparently lowered her defenses for me. For the first time she is responding well to my approaches and flirts, laughing a lot at my jokes (and they are very bad I have no idea how someone can laugh at them), being cute overall, sharing a lot with me. And her depression seems to have decreased, maybe she just needed some love. I am honestly not sure what our relationship is right now but it seems to be more than just friendship, we are interested in each other.

What would other femanons that can understand her recommend? I'm not sure if I should take this very slowly to make sure I don't hurt her. I'm extremely afraid of hurting her again, this might be very dangerous for her health and I would never forgive myself, or if I should quickly make a move.

>>18074487
Not opposing gender but holy shit this sounds like the plot of a movie. Stay with her anon, don't hurt her.

at what point do you decide that your girlfriend is a freeloader?

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>>18074487
This is so cute!

why do girls think they are powerful and can change the world

I don't think this requires a new thread so I'll ask here:

What's the best technique for doing kegels? Hold for 10 seconds and a few reps, or no holding and lots of reps? I'm a dude.

>>18074495

If she doesn't work or take care of our house, then she is living off me. We live togheter in this scenario, right?

>>18074487
>tfw sucker for love stories like this
I'm a sentimental wimp.

Girls, boys...

This is a tricky one, since it's about some heavy feelings I'm going through.

I've been feeling a little sad and weird since breaking up with my last girlfriend, now about 3 months ago. It's not that I miss her or I can't get over her, but more about the things I went through. It's like I have some sort of PTSD or something.

She was younger than me, and way more into those modern love bullshit concepts. I wasn't really aware of it but there were some things my girlfriend did that were really nefastous, things she didn't do because she truly believed in it but because basically she was defining herself and validating herself through sex since she had lost her virginity. She wasn't exactly having a healthy approach on it.

So yeah she was really a sexual animal, like I was. We had so much fun, she showed me things I never had a chance to try with other girls. We were both in harmony, we were like 2 clocks tickling at the same time. We both were freaks and it showed, but we also were really into each other.
And you never though things like that could happen, but it just came to a point in wich she felt she needed to have an open relationship instead of just commiting. And I was so stupid to allow it because I thought I would win her back. I didn't.

Now it's been like 3 months since I broke up with her and I tell you, for the most part I'm feeling alright. I was really broken back then. I met a girl I'm really into and we will finally meet soon. I just found a good job and i'll start saving money to move out of my city. Things are slowly working, but sometimes I reflect about that last relationship and I feel so impotent. I feel I wasn't enough for her. Sex was great and I took care of her, we had fun, yet... she had to choose quantity over quality.
She was really into cocaine and that was one of the things that separated us, I didn't touch drugs while she was almost high all the fucking time.

>>18074569
cont.

At that time I thought the sex and the drugs were just things she did because she thought she culd deal with them and it appeared to me that it was so, that she was this really strong type of girl who takes on strong activities, how fool i was anyway.... But it turns out she was so scarred she was using all of that to just forget.


Shit, man, I still feel a little broken after that. That I wasn't enough for her, despite the boundaries we liked to cross on sex and all the love and care afterwards.

I guess it scares me that this could happen to me again, /adv/ to meet another girl that would rather be with 10 than with me. I just, well, you can see I'm not exactly in my most confident moment...

I don't want to be like this. I want to cheer up. But, I don't know why I still feel like this, like ive been through some traumatic experience, going out with this bunch of posers -her friends weren't less- who liked to get high on drugs with daddy's money

Girls

Would you date a guy that strictly consumes media in his free time?

>>18074573

If he legit does nothing else and would be unwilling to do other things or to try new things with me, then I probably wouldn't bother with him. Sounds quite boring over time.

>>18074558
>>18074506
>>18074492
Thanks, but... Any advice?

>>18074100
Is it impossible for a guy and a girl to be friends. Does the guy always have to be an orbiter, or am I just falling for a 4chan meme?

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>>18074573
try a hobby that fuels up your adrenaline receptors

a hobby like that will 100% guaranteed:
>make you happier
>make you appreciate life more
>make you fit (in most cases, skydiving might be an exception)
>make you proud of yourself
>increase your self esteem
>ease your anxiety if you have it
>sometimes cure your phobia if you're willing to fight against the phobia like fear of heights
>get you away from your problems for a moment
>make you trust your abilities more
>make you interesting to talk to
>make you new friends
>overall will make you a better human being

it won't get you a gf nor suck your dick though

>>18074599

You can friends. It's usually easier when both of you have a partner so there's no mixed signals. But it can happen with single people.

Just keep in mind that when one of the two tries to take things to the next level, there's not much room for friendship afterwards.

>>18074573
And when I say "media" I am referring to passive things like video games, movies, internet, etc.

>>18074618
that is why you need to become more active, start with somethign easy like cycling or jogging then progress on something bretty awesome like hiking in the mountains or shit like that, endless media consumption will in the long run make you feel like shit and exacerbate your problems (at least it did for me).

>>18074618
dont listen to >>18074634
become a connoisseur of media and impress everyone with your vast knowledge of everything

also

>video games, internet
>passive

what are some things I can do to stop making girls only want to be friends with me

>>18074667

Here's your problem: You are focusing on the wrong part. You can't change their minds. They want what they want.

You can flirt and try to find people interested in you. But for those that already aren't interested, well, they aren't interested.

>>18074676
brb killing myself

>>18074681

The first step to dating is realizing people will reject you, and sometimes it won't be your fault. To date you need to people, and each one has their own interests and shit going on in their life.

NOW, you have to make an effort to be noticed and have a shot. Sometimes it won't work. But you have to try. If you are only a friend, then you are only a friend. If you want more, you have to try for more.

>>18074598
>>18074558
>>18074506
>>18074492
>>18074487
Can anyone give advice please? I legit dont know what to do, things are feeling a little weird, I cant tell if going slower will make this better or worse

>>18074689
>I cant tell if going slower will make this better or worse

Neither can we. You do know her in person, though, so you have way more information than us. Interact and see what works and hat doesn't. there's no guide for things like this.

>And her depression seems to have decreased, maybe she just needed some love.

If it's "depression", as in "the real mental illness", then some love is not enough. Medication and working with a professional era what she needs. If she was just going through a rough patch, then yeah, some attention might be all she needs.

But you are not her savior. Living well with others means living well with yourself. You can be there for her, but in the end it's up to her to move on from her funk (unless it medical, of course). Don't burden yourself with her health. Keep in mind it's not your responsibility as much as hers.

>>18074688
how do I stop becoming suicidal over girls rejecting me

i've never had a gf so everytime a girl is nice to me I get attached which of course makes them want nothing to do with me because who likes clingy people

>>18074641
Why not both?

>>18074598
Move at a pace that feels comfortable for the both of you. Open communication never hurts relationships. It sounds like you really care about her, so I think you're on the right track.

>>18074730

The solution to both problems is the same: Have things going on in your life. Your self worth should come from your job, your friends, your hobbies, your accomplishments in general, not only on dating.

So do things that make you happy, and you'll be less clingly, too.

>>18074738
so basically i need to accomplish things

>>18074750

Not exactly. You have to enjoy what you do, too. It's about living your life and liking what you do. Not counting the "points".

>>18074603
Meh, it still worked out when I asked my friend out, she said no, didn't see me that way. I moved on and we're still friends. I can see it going badly only if one person is extremely invested. I wasn't, I asked her out because I thought we'd be a good match but I wasn't head over heels for her.

I feel like all this orbiter stuff is a way for people to project their own frustration at pining after a friend who doesn't return those feelings. You can be friends with the opposite sex without being obsessed over them romantically. I admit that sexual feelings will always be a point of friction (cant think of a better way to put it) but that's just basic biology and doesnt mean romantic feelings always have to be in play.

>>18073247

Guys,
What kind of complements or other signs of appreciation would you like to hear from your partner?

>>18074844

Anything honest. Or do you want specific words to use?

>>18074849
>do you want specific words to use?

Just some inspiration or a direction to go to, mostly. I'm awkward as fuck, so it would be good to know what to say my bf to make him know that I genuinely do appreciate him.

>>18074844
I like to be told I matter and I'm important.

>>18074863

Where? When? When you send him a text during work? Or when you are having sex?

What does he like about himself? What do you two do together? Do yo have pet names or other nicknames that might be an inside joke? Etc. Etc.

If you "genuinely do appreciate him" then don't use canned compliments that don't take into account your relationship. Just say what you feel.

>>18074379
wow you guys really have shitty reading comprehension skills


we already went out a couple of times i don't need to ask him out you fucking retard i already knows he likes me.

the problem is me turning into a clingy psychopath i need advice on how to avoid doing that

Girls

Last weekend this girl and I confessed our feeling for each other, kissed and fooled around. We have a date tomorrow which see seems really excited about.

The very first time I hung out with her she gave me a tour of her place and I noticed she had some yugioh cards on her table so I bugged her about it, and she told me she liked the show but she lost her favorite card "change of heart". So I bought it online since I needed some mtg singles anyways. It only costed me like $2 and I feel like it would really mean something if I gave it to her, but is the first "real" date to early? We've hung out outside of work about 4 times now each time holding hands and hugging all night.

Just writing this out makes me feel like such a loser...

>>18074916

That's really sweet of you, go for it. She'll appreciate you remembering and taking a notice. And since it's just something small and really nothing big or flashy, it's perfectly fine for a first date too.

I'm an emotionally unavailable, solitary person with a ton of friends and few close ones, with a fear of commitment, attracted to a girl with the same qualities. There's been a lot of unnecessary drama between us, caused by a manipulative friend, but I want to reconnect with her. I don't see her on campus much.

What can I do? She knows I care for her.

>>18074844
>>18074863
I've never had a gf, but the good thing about prostitutes, the reason why men frequently go back to them is because they are supportive, give advice, are sweet... I'm in heaven after a sweet hour with her.
Understand your penis, psychoanalyze him and understand his needs.

>>18074941
That's why you gotta pay for them, my man.

>>18074943
But people think we pay them just for sex. There are guys who, after a while, pay them just to chat.
Also, your post implies gfs can't do this because they are not paid.
Girls, would you be nicer if you were paid?

Is there such a thing as being too different for a gf?

>>18074916
Don't feel like a loser. You remind me of me. I can't help but remember everything my boyfriend ever tells me about himself and I love doing small, but incredibly meaningful things like that. It just shows the other person how they really are always on your mind. I think if my boyfriend ever did something like that for me back I'd tear up on the spot kek

got into a political debate with my 'feminist' girlfriend and she gave me a severe ass beating. She ran circles around me and left me embarrassed and loss for words. Now I feel emasculated and I feel like I can't be the man in the relationship and I will be obsessing over how to get one over on her which doesn't seem like a healthy dynamic. Should I just leave her?

>>18074954
What do you mean? Different from your gf or just different?

>>18074980
Yes, how can you be beaten by a feminist in a an argument? Read a book nigger.

>>18074980
No, being challenged and humbled sometimes by your boy/girlfriend is good imo. Otherwise you'll probably get bored of them real fucking quick. I think you found a keeper, but you should work on your attitude or insecurities or w/e. Obviously being resentful isn't a healthy dynamic but hey, she beat you in an argument it's not the end of the world as long as she's not rubbing it in and being a cunt about it.

My girlfriend never wants to have sex. Thinks its disgusting. Will she ever come around, any girls with similar experiences?

>>18074930
Ho lee fu king shit I am/was in the exact same boat. Literally every detail of your post.

Fucking do it man. I've graduated already and I can say it's a huge regret. It's been a few months since I last made contact so idk anymore but maybe you still have hope. Go fucking talk to her

>>18074997
if you like sex, you should get a new gf

>>18074360
Idk what the others here would say but it sounds like you have no hope

>>18075000
I have never tried it and I do, she is the perfect girl in everyway. Expect for this little things that bugs me

>>18074699
>>18074735
I'll see what I can do. Sometimes she seems to have put her guards all the way down for me, other times she seems defensive. It's been pretty confusing, but I understand that other anons can't give advice since they don't know her.

>>18074988
Different from society

>>18073408
No one?

>>18074999
Well, fuck, how do I approach her? We haven't talked in a month but I recently texted her apologizing for how complicated things became. She said it was really nice to hear. I've got no followup.

>>18074927
>>18074958
Will it be too beta to give it to her the same night I pay for her drinks?

>>18075057

It's not like you're getting her a dozen of red roses. Don't stress about it, it's fine.

Not really an opposite gender question, but I dont think it really warrants it's own thread either.

Short version is, few months ago my nonsingle friend hooked me up with one of her friends. Shit's been great, dude's not looking for anything serious but I'm chill with that. Just happy for the attention, it's been 6 long damn years since I've gotten anything.
About a week ago, friend dumps her bf. Last night, dude tells me she was texting him wanting to hook up and shit. He kind of shut her down though because he didn't want to do anything that would hurt me, since we are friends and shit. Then came later to see me and told me about it, probing for my opinion I guess. I told him I would be very weird about that, I understand we're not exclusive, but it's just different when it's someone I know so well and live with. Told him it was up to him, he can go bang her if he wants but it would end our arrangement. He understood.
What I'm asking I guess is, I'm actually kind of salty about this. Like, she hooked me up with him, and now she's stepping in on my terf, after I struggled for so long to get even this much. She's been single a week. This dude is very busy with 2 jobs and shit, I can barely get a piece of him, I doubt he could juggle 2 girls and I think she knows that too. Idk, it feels childish but it feels like she was trying to like, take him from me.
Am I being a lil bitch about it? How would you feel in my shoes?

>>18075007
seduce her / get her drunk and seduce her and fuck otherwise find a new girlfriend that wants to have sex with you*

Girl I was seeing told me a couple days ago she doesn't want to date me anymore.

Didn't inquire, as things seemed great, and just said see ya around

Would it be bad to ask her why or?

>>18075038
Idk man. Never got to the point where we talked about the issues (teasing) other people made about us. And that was a lot. Like 2-3 years of that shit. So yeah if you did talk about it then you're in a better position than I was.

Just try and see how it goes. Honestly I'd have been fine even with a rejection. But now I think I might never know and it will always just be a regret.

>>18075093

Most likely she just wasn't that into you. Specific reasons to break up are rare and usually only occur after long term relationships. Asking why makes it seem like you have an issue with it or an issue with her or that you feel like she owes you an explanation. Let it go and move on.

>>18075038
Sorry forgot to actually answer lel. I'd try just asking her out, plain and simple. At least that's what I realized I should've done. Instead I made things even more complicated by adding other factors kek (another girl as a distraction ha ha now that's a regret)

>>18075093
Yeah, move on. Theres nothing really that will make you feel better about it. Reasons just gonna make you fell worse.
Besides, if you were gonna at all, you missed your chance. Should have asked when she broke it off. Bringing it up later is just weird. Tells her you're dwelling on it

>>18075098
>>18075103

Thanks

>>18075093
yeah don't ask her why.you already went your ways. also delete her as a contact. and don't reply to anything she sends you.

To girls and guys

Are you friends with your exes? Should you have to be?

>>18075124
I am in decent terms with my exes but not friends with them.
If I happen to be in the same room as them I'll talk to them, but I don't keep in touch or anything if not for major things.

>>18075066
yes and no. if i were in your shoes i'd feel the same. i'm a guy btw.

i will tell you a bit about me. i sleep around with multiple girls and don't see anything wrong with it. but everything behind it isn't deceptive or anything. i am open that i sleep around and am not looking to be tied down. also i don't do things like fuck two girls who are friends with one another, to avoid drama. even if they both mutually don't care, i still don't. it's off limits for me cause i know it leads to problems.

this guy you are hooking up with seems calculated and certain he doesn't have bad intentions. i think you could have let him know how you feel about it, instead of kinda playing it off like "do what you wanna do up to you" cause he might not understand you entirely. but i must say... when girls have not wanted me to be with other girls than them, i auto assume they have feelings for me beyond just sex. and idk about him but for me, i don't have girls i hook up with become my future gf. rather just a fuck buddy or friend.

tl;dr
>you have the right to be upset about this
>your friend is actually being sneaky but doesn't necessarily have bad intentions
>she has known him longer, and knows what he is about.
>she knows you two aren't exclusive
>but her being a friend she should communicate with you directly about things like this
>she is desperate and finally wants to get out of the friend zone with him
>i'd feel upset if i were you but you could find some other guy too

>>18074997
you're dating a child.
>>18075007
but she's not because sexualism sexuality sexiness all that shit revolves around everything, her entire existence. the way she moves. what she does and believes in life. if she did want sex her thinking and lifestyle would be different.

>>18074980
why are you dating a feminist.

>>18075124
I don't really have many. Of the 2 serious boyfriends I had, I'm on relatively good terms with one of them. We don't hang out really, but that's mostly because he's dating my best friend now lol.
Granted, that break up was mutual.
The one I'm not on good terms with was a rather ugly break up.

The rest of the less serious ones I'm not on bad terms with either, but I just never talk to them because we dated in high school and I naturally just kind of lost touch with 90% of the people I was friends with in high school after college.

>Should you have to
Of course not. You're not obligated to be friends with anyone. Break ups change your outlook on one another. It does permanently warp your relationship to one another. Now, that change doesn't always have to be so negative, but it is a change none the less.

Personally, the only way I really see 2 people staying good friends after a break up is if it was a mutual thing. Or, if there had been some time in between. (such as break up, spend a few months apart for the dumpee to get over it, and then reconnect and restart later in life somewhere)

>>18075124
none. i actually have cut all contact with all exes except for 1. even then i cut contact after a few years later.

i see no logic in being friends with exes.

>>18075124
>>18075131

what about helping them move?

>>18075124
No, I hope they die of ebola.

>>18075156
how did you react at first when he started dating your friend

>>18074667
stop treating them like anything other than acquaintances.

>>18074573
sounds like the majority of girls.

Girls and guys

Why does this stereotype exist that if you're a healthy mid 20s male you're suppose to be out dating a lot of girls and having a lot of sex? And if you DON'T do that then you're either a bitch, pussy, or a loser?

>>18074980
Seriously? You have a smart girlfriend who at the very least has thought about her stance instead of just parroting stuff she right online, and you feel emasculated that you cannot shut her up literally every time in an argument?

I'm happy I'm not dating you. But if you still see this, try to look at it like this: a woman who can hold her own in a discussion has fallen for you, doesn't that say something good about your masculinity/desirability?

>>18074997
It's extremely likely that she won't, and even if she will it will probably be due to something like pregnancy/growing older and hormones changing in correspondence. Basically, it's not worth sitting around for. If people are "perfect except for this [FUCKING VITAL] thing", they're not perfect. Sorry.

>>18075124
Friendly, but not friends, and this is how I prefer it. I don't understand why people think it looks good to shittalk all their exes. It just makes me question their judgment and maturity if they paint every ex to be a she-devil. But being actual friends with exes is tricky and in my case I'm too afraid of stirring up old feelings so we're not on speaking terms but there's no hard feelings either.

>>18075141
Yeah, we've been out in the open with everything. We know what our relationship is, it's strictly casual.
I was actually kind of surprised when he did tell me I was currently the only one he was seeing at the moment. I had just assumed he had other girls on the side, and I was totally accepting of that, so long as they were just faceless women in my head lol.
And he is a good dude. I mean, he could have just fucked my friend and dealt with it later because he said he was down for it, but would feel irresponsible doing it without knowing my feelings on it first since he was messing around with me first.
We talked it out pretty thoroughly, I meant it when I said he can go bang her if he wants, I have no issues with that, I just wouldn't feel comfortable continuing with him as we have been if he did. So he'd just have to keep that in mind. Like it sounds worse in words than I mean it, but it is kind of "me or her" but not with the attitude or anything. I'm 200% chill with whoever he chooses, because I'm the one making boundaries.
I wouldn't begrudge him if he chose her and hell, would still even hang out with him, our sexual nature would just end. And it is just 100% because it's /her/ I would feel uncomfortable. Anyone else he wants to bang, he can feel free and I'll still answer his booty calls. I just feel weird sharing dick with good friends, especially ones I've known since elementary.
>you could find some other guy too
kek, I wish I could lol. Small town probs.

>>18074440
probably dehydrated and doesn't know it. her skin might be dry or she puts on good amounts of lotion. i'd say most people are dehydrated. when she pisses it's probably yellow. her diet is probably off and she eats random things at random times.

>>18075181
Key and lock bullshit. It's seen as the ultimate sign of being a proper, desirable men if you get to sleep with a lot of women. (Also playing into the stereotype that every man ever wants to fuck any woman ever, no questions asked.) Combined with the whole yolo-idea, that you need to "live it up" while you're young, healthy and not seriously committed. It works for some but not everyone gets a lot out of partying like crazy and fucking random people and that's completely fine.

Basically most people who tell you this will either be the fratbro guy who can't imagine valuing other stuff in life and/or not caring too much about this, or someone afraid that you will at some point regret not "sowing your wild oats".

>>18074479
don't talk about shit. she knows shit. she will play it off as her not remembering or just being drunk. she wants your dick bottom line.

>>18074573
No, I wouldn't.

>>18075161
What the fuck? No. You can pay people for that.

>>18074367
sounds like you might want to have a different relationship with her, a furthered one, and are not content with where it is at quite yet. she probably is only receptive, and doesn't initiate anything. also probably a teen.

>>18074980
>dating a feminazi
>losing an argument to her
lol
Cut off your dick.

>>18074997
Threaten to get prostitutes.

>>18075181
Because we're penises.

>>18074360
don't do anything

>>18075191

>Basically most people who tell you this will either be the fratbro guy

Yeah... it's shitty for me because I'm becoming a firefighter, and since it's a extremely masculine job. It's like a frat.. I'm not a stereotypical mid 20s male. I have never had a girlfriend, and I haven't even seen a pair of tits since high school.

>>18075181
Because unless you've a really good excuse, well, you'd be. Once you're in your 30s and 40s that windows will close.

>>18074297
>>18074300
>Girls need emotional intimacy, guys need physical intimacy,
both need both.
>and that's the balance in a relationship.
wrong.
>She might be getting it on the side and freinds zoning you into a relationship to fulfill her emotional needs.
this.

>>18074207
they only care if they are all about cliques and hanging out with a ton of friends still. even then some don't care.

>>18075181
Plus, girls that age NEED dick, they are easy and they are horny and they won't fuck your middle aged ass.

>>18074186
dude leave it alone...

>>18075208
You should do whatever the fuck you want. If you want to be with a woman whether for a relationship or just sex, tell them to stop ragging on you and be your wingman already. If you are happy with where you are in life and uncomfortable with how they act, tell whatever guy is pulling it next that it's odd to you how invested he is in your sex life and you want to have him know you do like women and not men. Obviously in a humorous way but shut them up. These kind of guys (or people, for that matter) will respect you most if you are not afraid to push back a little and stand your ground.

Also props on becoming a firefighter, if anything that's a surefire (get it?!) way to pique women's interest.

>>18074037
she's fuckin with you cause she thought you were fuckin with her. but it's her fault for not expressing her intents clearly. move on she's a whore.

>>18075224

Ironically I'm intimidated by attractive women. So I avoid sex and girls completely

>>18075212
>this
lol so you can't read.

>>18074916
Hope you bought the Ultra Rare version and not the cuck common one.

>>18075233
Do also think they are judging you all the time and there's no way they won't see right though you and see that you're a loser, immature guy?

>>18073969
i asked a girl out i worked with cause she was moving soon and she would look at me with a dirty smile, you know, low eyes, chin down, smiling at me with her body language wanting to get fucked. i had gotten no reply, she moved, then months later she came back.

we'd say hi and not talk that much. she could tell i has no interest in her anymore. i treated her like any other co-worker. i no longer gave her attention. she took this as negative and i'd overhear her within earshot talk shit about me saying "he's sooo weeeiiiirrrd!!!!" and silly things like that. i would catch her checking me out on a regular basis too. there were days we wouldn't say hi simply cause one or both of us were busy. yet she took it as me silently being weird or something. i simply stopped giving her attention yet all her attention was on me. her fault. insecure bitch.

>>18075233
Eh, that's a shame. There really is no reason to, attractive women are like anyone else and typically also intimidated by people they find attractive and impressive.
Not to sound like a downer but I do think that if that's the only or main reason for you to abstain, it would benefit you to work on it. Dating won't get easier (or more fun, in many aspects) as you grow older.

Do you know any women now? You don't have to seriously befriend them or anything, but if you barely come into contact with women I think grabbing every chance to chat for longer with a friend's girlfriend/sister, someone in your course and so on can help make you realize that they're just human beings with flaws and thirst and what not, too. And if you realize that you can hold them accountable for their behavior and you won't fear a lot of more extreme responses anymore.

>>18073893
she might start fucking with you. like bopping you on the head. or yelling random things as she walks by like "calm down!" when you are perfectly normal. what i mean is she might pick up on things that are false and so she makes moves that don't actually make sense and it furthers the distance between you two. that's all i can see. either that or she catches you talking with other girls and she becomes jealous and starts hating you thinking you are doing things in spite of her.

sources: experience from work.

I feel like this is an FAQ, but it's really killing me.
Females and males please answer
How do you tell the difference between flirting for the sake of flirting and genuine interest?

There's a girl I've known for a year or two, and we've never been close, and I didn't have any interest in her. I wouldn't have considered her a friend, just someone I knew, but then all of a sudden, last year, she started giving me a lot of attention. She followed me after class, messaged me late at night, and told me some personal things. I thought it was strange, because I didn't know why someone I barely knew (at the time) would trust me with a lot of personal things. She slapped my ass a few times, and was generally more risque, and I got kind of interested in her. She told me out of the blue she loved me, and then the next day, said she shouldn't have said that. After this moment, I had this idea that she was just fucking with me and didn't want anything serious from me. She still acted flirty with me, but I got a lot of mixed signals. When we hung out, she would talk about her crushes, and some other nuances. When I talked to my friends about it, my guy friends said I was autistic, and she was obviously into me, but my girl friends said they couldn't tell. One of them, who was a mutual friend, said the girl talked about me a lot. In October, she moved away, and I don't talk to her that much anymore, but now that she's gone, I feel like I might have been into her

I have no experience with females, so am I missing obvious cues here, or is she just playing with me?

>>18073601
i had a friend like that. she'd tell me her shit and when i brought mine up i'd get one liners. i assumed she didn't really know how to respond. she probably feels you friendzoned her and she won't be able to get rid of used feelings. she might expect you to be more solo and have more solitude while being receptive of her things. like you have to fit some sort of character.

>>18075242

They've never called me names. But I feel like they are judging me. Because they always joke about sex

>>18075245

No im never around women. I only know 1 girl but she lives on the other side of the world. I don't have any ways to meet women. I have went out to a bar before with friends but I didn't like it.

>>18073525
not at all. but the majority of the time i exclude myself because my stories and experiences aren't believable. "uh huh suuuure that happened" "yeah right you're scared of girls aren't you?" as if i have to be like they are/were. basically they get competitive trying to change my reality and it pisses me off.

>>18075261
They never called me names either, it's not that, it's the feeling that you have nothing to offer and they can sense that right away, so you never try.

>>18073408
not enough details. could be busy and when she texts back she expects back and forth convos so she wants to have the time to give you. but i doubt that...

she probably is over you and gains nothing emotionally or financially from you.

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Ladies:
I asked this girl out to the movies and she said:
>when I'm a little bit more comfortable I'd like to take your offer
What the fuck does this mean?
I asked one of my female friends and she was no help at all and simply said "wow I'm a girl and even this confuses me"

If she showed no physical signs of attraction I would simply tally this as a "no". but every day she is always doing these little things like giving me quick glances/looks when she thinks I'm not looking. I'd be looking at something in the distance and can see her in my peripheral giving me these really quick glances. Like whenever she turns her head her eyes stop and meet mine for a split second before her head continues to turn. She does this constantly. And whenever she says something she always looks at me first as if seeing my reaction. Just really weird "shy girl" stuff. The other day I made a joke about getting my dick wet or something and when I looked she was blushing really badly, so I genuinely think she has a thing for me but I don't know what "when I'm a bit more comfortable" means.
Comfortable with me? Comfortable with herself?
This shit really makes me think.

>>18075270
Eh, she was probably never into me really. And we have always texted like this, even as recently as a month ago. It was always more of just friends texting than anything else

A little bit of detail on Why I texted her. She has been pushing me to become an EMT since June or so. And I finally am taking the steps to do so. And seeing as she's been pushing me to become one, I would think that she would be excited to hear that I am working on becoming one.

>>18075266
>it's the feeling that you have nothing to offer and they can sense that right away, so you never try.

Different fag here. This line of thinking has poisoned me, for good reasons though. I'm not fit, I'm not smart, I'm not wealthy, I'm not handsome. I'm average in all aspects. It eats into you until you resign into an existence of datelessness, because when you allow for that thinking to fester, you start comparing yourself to others and see all the magnificent people around you with something unique in them while you're just so awfully average.

>>18075186
i think you are dealing this pretty maturely. a lot of girls i know would give me their ish and get all emotional as if i deceived them.

part of this thing is your girl friend being jealous of you. she wants a piece of the pie in spite of some things.

at my old job just me talking with certain girl co-workers caused other girl co-workers to think i had sex with them secretly. i overheard them say things like "you had sex with him, didn't 'you." "no ashley, we didn't i swear!"

yet this is from having normal conversation. i'd even catch them in the distance observing and gathering information from my interactions. like they as females had a kind of competition pertaining around me that i picked up on as i go.

a lot of females kind of present themselves for me in public places and at work so that i pay attention to them. sometimes when they are in groups i walk past them minding my business and i can tell they want something but they never actually do anything. the most they do is quietly spill out "heey" or something and after i pass i realize they wanted to talk. then i hear them say things like "*sigh*" or "dang it" they try to form the reality while i'm living my own. maybe you can find guys through friends if that is your only option. but i don't think it is hard for a girl to talk to a guy in public if she just respects him as a man.

>>18075292
Plus, even if you manage to get a gf, what's to stop her from cheating and leaving you for a stronger man? It's inevitable, I'm a weak numale, product of those effeminate times.

>>18075241
It was some promo foil one. I don't understand yugioh one bit.

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>>18073247
I'd like to know the mindset of this girl, summery of the drama...

Girl i used to talk doesn't want to talk to me ever again. I want to talk to her again, how do i go about this? Summery of the drama

>20 year old girl starts working at my job, socially awkard and can tell she has a hard crush on me, blushes and plays with her hair when she's near me, laughs at everything i say and says im great

>Starts complaining about her boyfriend to me, i have a girlfriend at the time but don't let her know
don't like her at first but she grows on me.

>We're friends and we enjoy talking to each other.

>Ask her if she has a boyfriend, says yes, ask me if i have a girlfriend, i say no.

>Find out her boyfriend is a bum and she's only with him because she's insecure, scared of being alone and she's young and inexperenced.

>Boyfriend had no job for an entire year, he was her first boyfriend out of high school (her supervisor) and he's 7 years older then her and she pays the bills around the house while he has no job.

>Feel bad for her but i don't care because i have a girlfriend.

skip 4 months later
>Start getting feelings for her.

>Flirt with a girl and mention girls around me to make her jealous.

>Start talking shit about her boyfriend for not having a job.

>She still gives me sight signs she likes me but she's obviously bothered by what i said but didn't realize it at the time.

>Glance her text message (she has literally tapped on my phone while i was texting trying to be cute so i didn't think it'd bother her)

>Compare myself to her boyfriend.

>She gets mad at me.

>Asks why she's mad.

>She tells me but i don't believe her because she was bothered before that.

>One conversation later i'm arrogant as fuck and tell her i don't believe her, i think she's mad because i was talking about other girls.

>She tells me to never to talk to her again.

>For 1 month she doesn't talk to me.

Continue below..

>>18075235
let me go over this again.

>Girls need emotional intimacy, guys need physical intimacy,
no. both males and females need and seek both to a degree.

>and that's the balance in a relationship.
no, that's not the balance.

>She might be getting it on the side and freinds zoning you into a relationship to fulfill her emotional needs.
she probably is getting dicked down on the side.
she probably does have him in life as someone she can fulfill her emotional needs with.

is this clear enough?

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>>18075305
>She was talking to a mutual friend i made him laugh and i tried saying "hey, how's it going" and she tells me she told me not to talk to her again, it was quiet for the awhile, friend looked uncomfortable.

>Later in a room we were in i was making my co-workers laugh.

>Turn around and kind of look at her, see her nervously touching her phone, not "using" her phone but spinning the entire phone itself fast and nervously while hunched in a semi-fidel position

>I hear her talking to co-workers, I could be wrong but it seemed like she was trying to make me jealous, her voice was low and an attempt to be flirty. She says "i'm with my boyfriend and i'm HAPPY with him" slightly louder

>When conversation dies down i start getting sarcastic and make everyone laugh again.

>She bolts out when works over

I don't know if i fucked up too bad. I do like her but i accept if we can't ever be friends again. I'd like to know what her mindset on me. I'll answer every question in detail if needed.

I'm a guy and a natural flirt, with two major issues. The first is that skin is unhealthy, especially on my penis, so physical contact is straight up uncomfortable/painful. I've had sex once for a short amount of time, wasn't fun.
The second hangup is that it's really hard for me to start a relationship with someone because girls I like get the idea I 'always have someone in the mix'. I don't know what to so about it.

So yeah I can't enjoy casual sex which gives the impression I want more than that and I can't get more than that because I give off the impression I want casual sex.

How'd I do this to myself?

>>18075282
don't give her details like that. let her come to you. not saying play a game with her but there is no need to prove your development over time to her unless she asks for it.

>>18075300

Well of course. I could start dating a girl, and then she could leave anytime she wants for someone better. There are way better looking people out there, who have way more experience then me.

If me, a 26 year old who's never had a gf before, started dating a girl. But then a better looking 26-27 year old dude who has experience comes along, what's to stop her from leaving me for him? Nothing. She probably would leave me because he has more to offer.

It's already too late for me

>>18075315
The problem is not the better dude that appears, but you that are too weak and feeble to guide a woman. That's what I mean.

>>18075296
Yeah, women are competitive.
I suppose I'm just mostly hurt that she's a good friend of mine, knows how fucking miserable and lonely I am and have been for being single and alone for so long while she had this happy 6 year relationship.
This was the first good thing to happen to me in fucking years.

But yeah, the issue with meeting people is again, just live in a tiny underpopulated place with the nearest city being 2 hours away. After spending 4 years here, I've basically met everyone there is to meet. Just occasionally get a sprinkle of new faces every year. It's just slim pickings as is and the ones I want don't want me. This was the first dude to ever share some degree of mutual interest.

>>18075332

>but you that are too weak and feeble to guide a woman

I literally don't know what that means.

>>18075342
Exactly.

>>18075342
you have to run the energy of the fuckin relationsihp. you have to cater to these first world women being being princesses. if you don't they won't seek you out, they will simply go latch onto the next guy who comes along. you end up blaming him, yet it's not his fault.

>>18075315

dude

women are emotional beings. Guys think rationaly and women think emotionally.

Its how she feels around you, if she is comfortable around you she wont leave you. If you cause drama she will leave for someone "worse" than you only because he doesnt cause drama.

>>18075357
Guess what man, women actually don't want a man who serves them hand and foot. Don't know why in the world you're advising some poor sod to bend over backwards for the first entitled girl to come his way. Believe it or not, not everyone is like that and the ones who are do typically learn after a string of short lived relationships.

>>18075351
>>18075357

Well shit, I can't do that..

>>18075364

>if she's comfortable around you, she won't leave you.

I have a hard time believing that.

>>18075364
>guys think rationaly
So tired of this dumb ass meme. People in general are actually fucking shit at thinking rationally. Hell, we find someone more pleasant if they hand us a warm cup than if they hand us a cold cup. It blows my mind how people can say with dry eyes that men, who suffer from road rage, addictions, mental issues, violent fits and suicidal tendencies more often than women, are some rational calculating sort of species. No.

People are capable of logical reasoning but not of separating their emotional impressions from facts. Or well, suck at it, at least.

>>18075368
>Guess what man, women actually don't want a man who serves them hand and foot.
not saying they do. and we are both generalizing.
>Don't know why in the world you're advising some poor sod to bend over backwards for the first entitled girl to come his way.
98% of them are entitled. no? then we aren't speaking the same here.
>Believe it or not, not everyone is like that and the ones who are do typically learn after a string of short lived relationships.
no, not everyone is. yet most are and don't know it.

>>18075374
Wanna know why middle-aged men kill themselves? It's because the wife got emotional, goes "you don't love me anymore", takes the kids and the house and makes him pay 50% of his paycheck as alimony.

>>18075311
She was trying to make me do it as a friend, and I was just telling her that I finally started, because well, she's a decent friend, and she's been giving me updates on her progress when ever we spoke.
And that's it. Nothing more

What do guys think of tall girls?
Like, I'm 185cm.
Also please inform me of your height before answering, I suppose that's relevant.

>>18075383
That doesn't negate anything I said.

>>18075379

>98% of them are entitled

Yes, in the United States this is probably true. Unfortunately.

>>18075392
Nope, but it should make you see why a man is more inclined to off himself than a woman when his whole life is taken from him in one fell swoop.

>>18075379
>98% of them are entitled. no?
Honestly I barely know anyone my age, male or female, who doesn't have standards for a partner that are higher than they personally meet.

>>18075399

I watched a study on TV about sexual attraction. It was called "The science of sex" it was pretty interesting. Well, they did this test where girls smelled sweaty guys shirts. Without seeing pictures of them. And had to rate how attractive they thought the guy was. Then they introduced the girls to the guys IRL... the girls and guys all rated guys within their own league the highest. Which means girls are attracted to guys in their own leave biologically.

The fucking sad thing. I've noticed this IRL... the girls I attract are girls that I don't like... which means I'm fucked because I'm in a league I don't want to be in...

>>18075397
There's plenty of reasons why men are more inclined to off themselves. Given that women also cope better with being a widow than men do with surviving their partner, that also seems to suggest that either women are more independent at their core or that they invest more in the relationship than they get out of it compared to men. Personally I think it's the former because women tend to have better support networks.

Either way it is too complicated to reduce male suicide to a result of divorce. Let's not ignore that there is also a huge spike in teens/adolescents killing themselves. And likewise divorce is complicated and there's too many factors to really overlook. Eg, do men not leave their wife because they desperately love her, or would they rather have a cooled won marriage while being a present father, with an important bonus of not paying alimony?
And yes marriages end because they have dwindled and faded but infidelity is not exactly rarely a factor as well. As are general life factors like the stress of consistently having no/just enough money, sickness and so on.

This is not trying to downplay that divorce wrecks lives on the daily, obviously.

>>18075368
That's not what being the guide of the relationship means. It's the opposite of that in fact, you'd be the emotional anchor of the relationship not the other way around.

>>18075390
182cm guy here, I prefer the girls being smaller than me, but I confess it's manly because they like it that way in the first place. So, if you mind dating down, I won't mind either.

>>18075390
5' 11" here. To be perfectly honest I find tall girls to be a little unattractive, but it's not a deal breaker.

>>18075408
Sure, that's very common/normal. But you can still have standards in other aspects. And people often take a hypocritical stance when it comes to what they think of others vs what they would actually accept. Eg I know plenty of below average guys with average girls they think are hot, but girls with similar looks get cruel remarks. Or what I notice is very common among girls, acting like they would "NEVER" accept certain behavior if they hear someone else's boyfriend doing it (everyday annoyances and lack of attentiveness), yet they will accept much worse from their actual loved one.
It's all a matter of perception but if I ask the people I know what they want in a partner, it's typically notably more well-rounded or attractive than they are and they are pretty oblivious to that.

>>18075420
if you DON'T mind*

>>18075412
The main point here is that since family court is so lopsided, many end up in the, depends on your viewpoint, logical solution of offing themselves rather than living through a grueling existence of living in a one-person flat, getting to see your kids at every other weekend and having no money because dear ex-wife gets half of it. This alone can explain why middle-aged men kill themselves at a much higher rate.
> infidelity is not exactly rarely a factor as well
From whose part?
>As are general life factors like the stress of consistently having no/just enough money, sickness and so on.
Then it wasn't a good idea to marry, if the other partner can't navigate through the endless shitstorm that is life.
>would they rather have a cooled won marriage while being a present father, with an important bonus of not paying alimony?
This is a no-brainer. Especially since family courts are very unfair.

>>18075408
i think standards are measured in so many ways though that we can't all measure everything accurately. like every guy i know finds certain girls attractive while i don't find them attractive at all because of certain things.

>>18075390
I'm ~ 190 cm
and holyshit lol

Most tall girls I know are model/beauty pageant tier so I suppose I like them, but not quite sexually, even though I admire their good look. I've always been attracted to girls around 160 cm- 170 cm

>>18075390
5'9" here. when girls get to like 6'3" they kinda move goofy in my eyes. same with all people. but not really.

in terms of dating i wouldn't mind dating a taller one. thing is never come across one i would want as a gf, out of coincidence. not cause they're tall. i had a few things and flings with some that are taller but that's it. they can take it deeper let me say that.

>>18075444
Is it really a logical choice to rob your kids of a father after you willingly (and, presumably, rationally) took the risk to get married knowing what will go down and how much weaker your position is if you do get divorced? And the divorce statistics?

>This alone
Except that men kill themselves at a higher rate in every stage of life. And more often have other mental issues (like psychosis/schizophrenia or addiction) as well - just not depression, but looking at those suicide stats it's much more likely that they avoid seeking help than that they're actually less depressed.

>whose part
Both, I didn't mean to imply that if a woman runs off her husband must have cheated, just that it's not exactly rare for shit to have gone down in a marriage before they divorce beyond having lost the romantic connection.
>Then it wasn't a good idea to marry
Which you have literally no way of knowing as young, healthy people who haven't been through shit in life and have been together for a couple of years. Not really fair to say this imo. How can you know how your spouse would deal with, say, a handicapped child, after a few blissful years of youth together? You just don't.
>This is a no-brainer.
My point was that just because the woman is the one to start divorce proceedings, it doesn't mean the man was madly in love with her until she got bored.

Girls, how much do woman really care about height?

I am considered tall in my country, but I am going to study to germany where I am a manlet, so I don´t know if that will be a problem with getting a girl.

>>18075470
Completely depends. Yeah it's seen as attractive and masculine to be taller but I have only ever heard women expressly say that they care that the man is not shorter than them in real life.
Personally it's nowhere near my list of priorities. In fact I got kind of addicted to sex with a same height partner so I'd much rather have a guy one inch shorter than me than someone who's a head taller.

File: Screenshot_2017-02-23-15-17-16~01.png (545KB, 1440x1323px) Image search: [Google]

545KB, 1440x1323px

Really makes you think

>>18075480
>I have only ever heard women expressly say that they care that the man is not shorter than them in real life.

I am actually taller that the average woman, so in that regard I am fine.

The problem is, that I am short compared to most men in first world countrys, and I am worried that that will be a problem since all my "competition" will be at an advantage.

>>18075483
If it's any consolation, the reason women like lesbian porn is because it's typically softer and has a much bigger focus on foreplay and the general chemistry.

Standard straight sex portrays male fantasy more than reality. It's all focused on the most visual and pleasurable (for a man) stuff, and entirely glosses over foreplay, making out, cunnilingus etc, which are favorites of many women.

So essentially they can choose between watching porn with men, or watching porn that actually shows a kind of sex they would potentially enjoy having.
That and male porn actors get chosen on their ability to get and stay hard on command, as well as cumming on command, not on their great looks. You notice that as soon as there's a more traditionally cute one like James Deen, he does have a female fanbase.

>>18075468
>Is it really a logical choice to rob your kids of a father
For all intents and purposes they are already living a fatherless life, with perhaps the added bonus of the dear mother lying to the kids about their "deadbeat dad". I am not arguing that it's a logical choice to get married, knowing it's at best statistically a fucking coin toss.
>it's not exactly rare for shit to have gone down
I agree.
>Not really fair to say this imo
Yes, it is incredibly fair to say it. If you decide to fuck off the moment life gives you lemons, you're an irresponsible retard. Also bringing up a handicapped child is kind of funny, since the wife will probably get to raise it anyway in family court.
>it doesn't mean the man was madly in love
And I concurred. However, I was trying to say that it is far more logical to stay in a cool marriage for a man, quality of life wise and legal-wise, as it is far more logical to off yourself than continue living a ruined life after divorce.

>>18075487
No one really evaluates people on one single aspect. You are a bigger picture of your voice, posture, how you carry yourself, your smile, how you connect with them, how smart and friendly you seem, how attentive you are towards them, whether you're funny, whether it seems like other people like you, whether you have cool stories to tell, and so on and so on. There is no point in obsessing over a single aspect like it's not part of an organic whole. People are a package deal.

>>18075494
>For all intents and purposes they are already living a fatherless life
You either have very little empathy or very little imagination if you don't understand how having severely limited contact with your father (which is painful enough as is) is not comparable to literally losing that person. It isn't just a traumatizing loss to a kid who probably has never really dealt with death close to home and is still learning to trust the world - yay, people can just disappear at random, including your most familiar and safe loved ones - but it's a loss that grows with you. When you're a kid it's losing your dad and missing him but as a teenager it's not being able to learn how to be a man from him. As an adult it's never being able to get to know him as a man in his own right instead of your dad, not being able to ask any questions about your origin on his side or your childhood, only having the singular account of your mother. It's mourning that he cannot come to your graduation, then that he cannot come to your wedding, then that he will never get to know your first born child who might have his eyes.
If you are honestly trying to say these are in the same league I can't take anything else you say seriously.

But, for the record, I meant it's not fair to blame people for not knowing -how- their spouse will react when they really get tested by life, not that it's unfair to blame them for not being able to deal with shit happening.

>>18075496
I know that, is just that, I heard so many times women making comments like "I would never date a short guy!" and things like that, is hard to not let it get to you, same with comments about penis size.

>>18075510
Guys make those comments, too. Look around you on here or even just many more "normal" websites and you see guys saying how they could never date a girl who was over [x age], or who didn't have a big ass (or big tits depending on the preference), or who wasn't a virgin, or not an innie, or not toned, or who wasn't up for everything in bed.
I'm not saying that to be pedantic but to make you realize that the reason you care so much is that you're afraid it's true, and when it's your own gender you shrug them off as obnoxious outliers.

At the end of the day women want to be with men. Making a fuss about how they would never accept x or y is immature, classless and frankly often just machismo if you ask me. The implication is that they're such hot shit that they can be a bitch about their high standards. Don't let it actually impress you. ESPECIALLY when it comes to penis size. That's not exactly the holy grail of female sexual pleasure.

>>18075490
Lesbian porn is much better, love seeing them eating pussy.

t guy

I am a guy and I have a question for women:

Does taking the pill have influences on your libido or generally on your mood?
I mean it basically inhibits ovulation which I suppose would be the time of highest sexual desire, different but similar to e.g. "heat" in other mammals.
What are your experiences?

>>18075507
>yay, people can just disappear at random, including your most familiar and safe loved ones
He disappeared at random the moment when mummy called the weird man in a suit and talked something about "divorce" on the phone.
>it's not being able to learn how to be a man from him
When you have contact with your dad every other weekend, how do you suppose the teenager is going to learn to become a wholesome man anyway?
>never being able to get to know him as a man in his own right
I'll give you this, but give a counter-thought. What if your mother has poisoned your image of him through lying and vindictive actions?
>not being able to ask any questions about your origin on his side or your childhood, only having the singular account of your mother
It is almost 90% of the mother's viewpoint anyway, since it is her who raised you up, while your father gets to talk to you every other weekend, in some cases never.
>It's mourning that he cannot come to your graduation, then that he cannot come to your wedding, then that he will never get to know your first born child who might have his eyes.
These are valid, but if your image of your dad is poisoned anyway, you wouldn't give a fuck.

I am playing devil's advocate by the way, so don't take this so seriously.

>>18075527
Don´t get me wrong, I know guys say things like that too, but believe or not, is not something I am "fine" with, I have always thought that even if you do have preferences like that, is the best to not shout them in hurtful ways, even if you want to don´t want to date someone is not enough reason to say hurtful things to them.

But anyway, thanks for the replies, I actually feel a little more confident now.

Girls, if you had high functioning anxiety to the point where it often physically affects you and you can't get up from bed at times or interact with anyone, what would you expect your boyfriend to do in such circumstances?

>>18075537
Never been on the pill because it has a shitload of side effects. And yes among the most common ones are loss of libido and become more down, even up to suicidal tendencies.

Other ones include;
>bigger risk for blood clots
>hair loss
>weight gain
>acne (some types make it better, some worse)
>potential higher risk for breast cancer (still not 100% certain yet)

It is very common for girls to become less interested in sex after getting on the pill. You get flooded with hormones essentially.

>>18075548
I have zero issues believing that and as I tried to get across, I am not fine with women making such comments either.

No problem.

>>18075551
Big disclaimer that I never actually had anxiety so this is just my guess based on other moments of feeling discouraged/too down to communicate, but I'd say make yourself sparse but let her feel that as soon as you need her, you're right there. Also, distraction. Not treating her like she's made out of glass but nudging her every now and then to return to the real world with a practical question or bit of info when you do occasionally reach out.

BUT the best option is to come right out and ask her how she personally wants you to handle her.

>>18075539
It's not like I 100% disagree with most of the points you make, I just entirely disagree with the whole "okay so maybe this is worse but you're already half-way there" kind of attitude. And relationships with your parents run deep, I actually don't think most kids of broken families who heard bad stories never come around - and even when they never come around, that they don't still mourn perhaps not the loss of their own dad but then the loss of having a good, present dad to begin with.

Besides, I think you are not giving women enough credit by talking like women all spew poison about their ex all day to their kids, especially now that it's very well-known just how negative the impact is on the child. And if they're the type of person to not give a fuck and still air their personal bitterness, it seems quite likely to me that this kid will grow up to see his mother with different eyes one day as well and reconsider the role of his father in that light.

Isn't playing devil's advocate arguing from the other point of view for the sake of arguing that but not implying that you don't actually mean what you say? Serious question, English isn't my first language so I sometimes realize my understanding of token phrases is a bit off.

>>18075552
It might sound strange, but I had the impression that women on the pill smelled way less compelling to me, somehow like something was missing.
I do not want to sound like a blood hound or something, but there really was a difference noticable for me and I had the impression that I developed slightly less sexual desire towards them...

>>18075580
I'm most inclined to say that it's mental. You might not find the idea sexy that she's "infertile" for the moment, or that there's an unnatural amount of extra hormones in her body. I guess that it's not impossible at all theoretically for a woman on the pill to smell slightly different, but you'd have a killer sense of smell to notice that when there's many influences and people's sense of smell isn't that great to begin with.

>>18075556
We're very transparent with each other about pretty much everything. And what I know is that she is very confused as to why this is happening to her and she'd be even more confused if I asked her what I should do in this situation. But, I feel like shit if I don't do anything and just let her suffer by herself.

>>18075591
desu my gf did not tell me if she took the pill, I came up with it cuz of her smell, or lack of something distinct...

Not from for away, but when I was going down on her and eating her out...

desu

>>18075281
bump
I don't want to make a separate thread for this

>>18075575
>Isn't playing devil's advocate arguing from the other point of view for the sake of arguing that but not implying that you don't actually mean what you say?
Yes. I am advocating for the devil and I often do it for fun. I do not think that all divorces are initiated by evil whores who spew hatred and lies about the counter-party at the kids. English isn't my first language either, by the way.
>not the loss of their own dad but then the loss of having a good, present dad to begin with.
This wouldn't have happened if dear mummy didn't throw her arms up in the air one day and decide to cut him off from her and, due to unfortunate family court circumstances, your life. The whole loss of the kid's father is because of the mother. His influence is severely limited, in some cases so much that he might as well not exist anyway.
> I think you are not giving women enough credit
I have read far too many unfortunate stories about such cases where the father is painted as everything bad. This is actually pretty common and it is characteristically the mothers who paint their exes in a bad light.
>it seems quite likely to me that this kid will grow up to see his mother with different eyes one day
How wonderfully optimistic! I wish I could have the gift of wishful thinking.

>>18075612
Impossible to say with certainty but my first thought was that she wanted some more time to grow "used" to you before actually being on a date with you. Like allowing herself to let you grow on her beforehand. Some girls have this ideal in mind to be friends first and it kind of sounds to me like a watered down version of that. But this is obviously just the guess that seems most likely to me.

>>18075596
Then try different things. Sit with her, then leave her be. Urge her to talk to you or tell her you'll talk later if she tries. Can't really hurt as long as you stay polite/pleasant about it and pull the brakes as soon as you seem to aggravate her. If this is new to her you'll have to figure out her instruction guide, so to speak, by yourselves.

>>18075607
Every pussy smells different, not sure how many you tastes that were on the pill vs not on the pill? Diet is a big part so you might just be thinking of a scent that was part of her specific body.

>>18075635
>Impossible to say with certainty but my first thought was that she wanted some more time to grow "used" to you before actually being on a date with you. Like allowing herself to let you grow on her beforehand. Some girls have this ideal in mind to be friends first and it kind of sounds to me like a watered down version of that. But this is obviously just the guess that seems most likely to me.

makes sense. we've known each other for about 4 months but only really started getting closer after I asked her out, ironically enough (which was about a month ago)
I'll probably ask her out again soon and if I get anything other than a yes I'll give up.
thanks

>practice gf is 6/10, painfully average
>has a 10/10 personality

I don't really want to show her around but she's still fucking amazing to interact with. How do I encourage her to wear makeup or wear more feminine clothes?