never posted here before

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and i just need some advice or someone to talk to. my girlfriend and i have been together about 6 months and it was one of those whirlwind romances. we fell very hard for one another and were talking about living together and marriage and so on then all of a sudden shit starts getting hectic at her work and she says she needs space. she then goes on to say that she doesn't want to talk about marriage or for me to say i love her and so on and so on. i admit i kind of freaked out a little bit but soon regained my composure, apologized and said i understood.

i gave her her space while i was taking care of my friend who has brain cancer. then she suggests we get dinner and go out for drinks. we do and had a great time until she got drunk and i was trying to calm her down and she got extremely defensive. i was basically crying in a bar and admitted to her that the last week had been very hard on me and i was suicidal. she shrugged her shoulders.

we get back to her place, she appologizes, we lay down and she says she loves me. the next 2 nights i spent over there were weird, but not necessarily bad. she cooked me dinner and the whole time barely said a word to me but would come over and kiss me every now and then.

she hasn't been very talkative (again, i'm assuming it's stress from work) but last night out of the blue, she tells me her ex's cancer may have come back and that she needs "serious space and time" with her ex. i asked what she meant and she said she didn't know. i asked her if she still wanted to be with me and she said that right now there may be more important things than us.

i get that she has 2 kids with the guy, but this just strikes me as some high school bullshit. everytime she gets stressed out, nervous, anxious, etc, it's me she cuts out of her life. no one else. i feel like i'm expendable. she's 42 years old, i'm 33. i don't think that this shit should be happening at this point in my life.

i don't know what to do and i don't know what to say.