>Find out gf was sending pics of herself and skyping to some

I mean it doesn't sound like it would be too big of a problem to take her back. Ultimate question is just if you trust her, and if the answer's yes then go for it.

>>18071766
I don't trust her one fucking bit t b h
I've told her this multiple times since then and that I probably would never fully trust her again and she said she understood

At first I was livid for days, literally seething with anger at myself and at her but months have passed and while I havent gotten over it really, it's not like she fucked someone in real life, but then it comes back to my own insecurities and shit with myself and my parents
>Dad was a piece of shit who to this day cheats on my mom
>Mom was an abused piece of shit who went back to him every single time, deals with all his shit, and still stomachs being cheated on because "hurr durr wel im his wife "

I still feel incredibly hurt, and do feel like taking her phone offer up. But other times I feel like I want to hurt her emotionally like she did me, and I don't know why.

I've had emotional issues since I was a kid and when I found what she did I think something cracked deep down and is why I'm unsure of what to do.

>>18071770
Adding to the insecurity part.
I feel like if I take her back I'll be seen as weak in my family's eyes but if I don't she'll think I'm reliant on my siblings approval
>Really I just don't like people having shit to use as a jeer at me
I also don't want to feel like my mother, going back to a relationship I should not be in. I think my issue is that I genuinely love being in relationships and I completely devote myself to my partner and when this happened I felt like I was just fatally wounded it was awful.

Well, ask yourself: is it really worth writing everything off for a reason rooted in sex?
and even if that's not your reasoning; how much of a case is there to be made as to why you should forgive her? It sounds like it would be bad all around if your siblings would hate her even more.

>>18071759

1.) Really... what taking a "break" means is that basically you're not together...

So EVEN IF she slept with someone... you don't really have a right to be mad and you walked in to that one yourself by agreeing to the break (which is why think breaks are conceptually stupid and naive to begin with, because a lot of people misinterpret what they are).

2.) Who gives a fuck what your sisters think. They may be family, and they may live with you, but they don't own you.

3.) If you don't trust her. Walk away.

Things can always be fixed, but that's only if both parties are fully willing and have no doubts.

You have doubts.

They may stem from your own issues, but that doesn't change the reality that they exist.

Unless you deal with your own issues and erase those doubts, it's highly unlikely that you'll be able to get past this, and you'll just end up bottling it up 'til it blows up in your face.

>>18071776
I'm not sure I understand the first few lines, are you asking if I'm ready to forgive/forget what happened for some ass and why I should forgive her in the first place?

We had talked a lot about her having a lot of sexual issues in the past
>Has had very strong urges since she was young
>Jehovah's Witness /in name only/ so stuff like anti-masturbation and anti- premarital sex was really heavily ingrained into her head
>Has had trouble reaching orgasm her whole life
>Easily pressured
>Gave me her first "everything" basically

>>18071781
I should have written it better, I'd found the pictures during our break, but she started doing it about a month before we were off

When I'd found it it seems like she told me the truth about it only happening a few times (within the timeframe of stuff that I found but didnt tell her) so it seems believable but that you for the advice.

My elder sister doesn't "care" per sé, she simply tells me what she thinks and leaves it at that, my younger sister on the opposite hand is all mouth.
The real reasons my sisters hate her, is because of HER sister doing shit with my father which made me and my ex's own relationship a little weird.

And I don't trust her, but I WANT to trust her. For a while we were pretty civil but there are some days where it just gnaws away at me and the paranoia I feel is suffocating.

>>18071759
>give her another chance but strike a deal
>tell her to let you take a photo/video of her doing something extremely embarrassing (something she wouldn't want anyone other than her husband to see, probably something sexual with you)
>if you catch her cheating again, reveal the pics/vid to the world

>>18071775
>I feel like I want to hurt her emotionally like she did me
This reads like a big "no" to me. There's very little that can be done when a vengeful feeling is involved. Despite the thiccness and the intimate experiences you guys may have had, it's probably for the better if you don't take her back.

>>18071759
what your family says should not be the determining factor however your sisters can see she is not trustworthy and trying to protect you.

But, if you are ok knowing every time your gf is not right in front of you she may be coaxing some other guy to come fuck, go ahead. For me, that is a miserable life and pussy ain't worth it.

>>18071836
Forgot a whole chunk for the first quotation

But yeah, she's got issues with sexuality overall, and from what I've seen, she tries to make everyone happy but herself and when I asked her if that's why she was fine with me taking her virginities so soon after we got together (couple weeks) she said it was 1) because she loved me and really wanted to share it with me and 2) because she was afraid I'd get bored of her if she didn't.

So WHY she did what she did, I don't know. But from the few years we were together, I know it stems from issues with her own sexuality, self-esteem, and emotions.

There was even a period where I told her I felt depressed because I couldn't bring her to orgasm (got real close a few times and even had her drooling once or twice but eeach time I end up tapping out) and I think that may have something to do with it as well

>>18071840
I haven't felt like that since it happened (Apr last year and the following 2-3 months) and the times we chat are nice.

Part of my issues is I bottle my emotions a lot, and at the time I was working a shit job and was super depressed from it, so when I found the pictures I just felt like the floodgate to all of my negative emotions just burst wide open.

I told her that I've had these feelings too, and she said she understands and wants to help me cope with them, but I'm not sure if its because she wants to help or just wants me back or both or neither

>>18071848
In that case I'll just echo >>18071781;
>Unless you deal with your own issues and erase those doubts, it's highly unlikely that you'll be able to get past this
Knowing whether you're able to work through your own issues is really the key question here.

>>18071864
My biggest hurdle that exists is trust.
I can't help but feel like she is still doing shit, even though I know she isn't and that sometimes just fucks with my head when we are talking and can make me a bit agitated at times.

What should I do about this? I feel like I'm becoming a control freak because I don't know what she's doing (even if nothing s happening)

>>18071868
[obligatory "look into professional help"]
If that's not a viable option... Work on talking down the paranoia that swells up when you don't know exactly what she's up to. Sure you have valid reason to doubt what she's doing because of her past actions, but the same feeling crops up for regular people in committed relationships as well. There's a certain amount of uncertainty you have to accept in a relationship, so attempting to practice that and logically dismissing doubt would be a step in the right direction.

...Gonna stress the professional help though. If possible try counseling or (if you end up saying yes to her) couple's therapy to work out the distrust with someone who's not an internet stranger.

Test

Forgive her bcs u forgive her. The sister is irrelevant. Also "change is hard" - she and him

come on 4chan post my fucking posts already

i'll "server error" in the fucking asshole you fuck

>>18071880
>Post successful!
GOD DAMMIT CHRIST THAT ONE WENT THROUGH? Really 4chan, that's the one?

Real post incoming in a minute, OP.

>>18071873
>> Test
This one too. Thot its my connection

OK. OP, this thread resonated particularly with me because I went through a (very) similar situation with a girlfriend once. I can recognize a lot of my feelings in your posts.

In brief, I was in a relationship that was going through a very rocky patch, and in a moment of weakness my girlfriend sexted another guy. She felt horrible immediately and called me crying about 30 seconds afterwards. Normally a single sext wouldn't be a HUGE deal (although it wouldn't be nothing by any means), but we'd literally JUST had a conversation about how she was getting a little too close to that guy for comfort, and she assured me that she had no feelings towards him whatsoever. So I took it as a pretty enormous betrayal. Cue me yelling at her, weeks of her crying her head off, many moments where we came very close to breaking up but never quite managed it, etc.

(I know what a lot of you are probably thinking -- she fucked him and then lied and told me it was just a sext. Trickle truth and all that. I had the same thought at first. Trust me that I know for a fact that didn't happen -- how I'm so confident is too long a story for here.)

I was angry at her for a long time. Really angry. I wanted to do something similar to make her feel as horrible as I had so that we'd be "even" -- well, actually, I wanted to do something a little bit worse, because "she started it." Yeah, yeah, I know.

Against the odds we ended up staying together for quite a few years after that, and when we broke up eventually it was over something unrelated. I don't know if you're anything like me, OP, but if you are, I can tell you a couple things that I hope might help you make your decision:

cont'd because this got long

>>18071759
I just wrote a thesis on the analysis of your relationship but there was a connection error and I closed the tab :/
Also the answer is yes.

1. Trust can come back. I don't know if I could ever trust somebody who'd actually cheated on me, but I do believe that sometimes, people who put one toe over the line and find it to be a wholly negative experience can be scared straight afterwards. The key is, was it a bad experience because they felt guilty, or did they just feel bad because they got caught? The former is a good sign that trust can be rebuilt, the latter is a bad one.

In my case I learned that my girlfriend couldn't keep a secret like that for even thirty seconds, and even minor betrayals made her feel so guilty she ended up anxiety-puking for hours. In the end I came to trust her MORE than I'd have trusted most other girls -- she'd fucked up and put herself through hell and I knew she never wanted to go through that again.

I would not have felt the same way about somebody who I'd had to catch. Your case might be different since you had to find out the hard way. I would recommend not talking to her at all for a few days. Grab a coffee, take a walk in calming circumstances and think about this rationally: has this person learned their lesson? Are they even capable of learning it? Would I advise somebody else to trust them?

2. The need for vengeance also goes away. Not much more to say, here. You are not going to hit age 30 and still be livid that your girlfriend send nudes to some guy.

3. You are probably never going to see her quite the same way. I loved my girlfriend before her screwup, and I eventually ended up in love with her again, but the second time around it was a different kind of love. Not even worse, just cooler and more realistic, arguably smarter, but I was never able to recapture that idealistic "my god, what did I do to end up with such an ANGEL" feeling that you get when you're crazy about someone. It's real love, but it's love with an asterisk.

Me, I don't regret staying with her but I wouldn't judge you in the least for leaving. I'm sorry this happened to you. Good luck.

>Should I give my ex a chance

>gf was sending pics of herself and skyping to some guy online
she's a whore, drop

>>She's thicc
>She's thicc
>thicc
for the love of god yes

isn't the point of a break that you can meet and fuck other people?
why the fuck would you go into a "break" if you didn't want her jumping in other cocks in the first place?

>>18071915
exactly. break is a pass for anything

The second you take the leash off a girl it's done

>>18071759
Ignore them OP

In the teachings of Don Juan he says, no matter what choice you make it does not matter, so pick the path with a heart.

If you want to see her again see her. If not it's not fair you're dragging her along.

>>18071915
>>18071933
>>18071948
Dudes, the cheating (or whatever it was) happened BEFORE the break.

>>18071951
>when we were taking a break
that's not what's implied in the OP.

>>18071960
its like you retards don't actually READ, I'm not OP but i can lurk long enough to see that he clarified in an earlier post

She's thicc bro, just get over it

>>18071770
she wont have anything on her phone. any incriminating shit is gone or she wouldnt be offering.

>>18071880
>>18071882
it's the fucking /adv/ mods being a bunch of SJW and doing shadow range IP bans like the bunch of liberals they are (master of irony as well)

they don't want headstrong opinions or any conservative thinking around these parts as they deem "dad advice" as "virgins" since they have their college girlfriend and are much better than we are

>>18071770
The phone offer is just stupid anyway. If she wanted to cheat on you, she could still do it. She would simply not use her phone because she knows that you have access to it.

Also, to me it's pretty simply. No trust? No relationship. You can fuck her, but otherwise, it's pointless.