This weekend, my boyfriend of several years sat down to talk

you are becoming lazy in the relationship
my friend divorces his wife over this
we need love too
hes just too much of a pussy to admit it

but i dont think he is searching for anything
just sinking deeper

>>18070758

I don't think it sounds like he's cheating on you, just that he's being honest that some of the flame has gone out of the relationship. I've never been in a relationship over multiple years, so take it with a grain of salt, but I think it's mature of him to point out that there's issues in the relationship so you two can address them and maybe work them out together.

There's a concern you two break up for sure, but you should at least see if it's worth keeping.

>>18070762
I genuinely don't think that's the case. We split our responsibilities evenly and try to do nice things for each other pretty regularly. If anything, he's the one who's become more likely to ignore me during the time we have together to go play video games over the last several months. But even though I don't think this is the problem, I'll consider it and will work on being more attentive where I might be lacking.

>>18070766
That is something I completely understand, and I definitely expressed to him that I was grateful that he talked to me about how he's feeling. It just caught be by surprise and has really stuck with me for the past couple days, but you're right, it's probably just something to try to work through rather than being a immediately fatal as it seems. For what it's worth, I've never been in a relationship this long myself, and the only other time a guy sat me down to tell me he was unhappy, he broke up with me immediately after, so maybe I'm having a negatively biased response haha. Thanks for your reply!

not cool:

talk to him about the way you feel ... the same way you did here. Do not offend, just describe your feelings.... ask him to open up, tell him, that beeing honest is must have in a relationship. don't force it though.
try this two or three times over the next few days.

if it's not working, seek a professional

>>18070758
My interpretation of what he could have meant:
There is a lot of things in this world that inspire and move you, either to do things you'd love or just on an emotional level.
Our relationship is not one of these things anymore and the adventerous part i seek is no where to be found but instead elsewhere everywhere.
>>18070771
Playing video games together can get just as worn out as anything else if you do it for a while.

Take him to a world he is not used to, make him see that there is more than he'd think there is. Be the person who drags him by the arm and is always super positive about it, keep it up even when he isn't showing any interest and eventually he will change his view.
Since you are together for so long the way he thinks about you two is kinda really sheltered and stubborn, it won't change just like that, it will need a while and some memories that leave an impression on him different than the one he knows.

>>18070777
I might try talking with him about it again, but bringing it up multiple times like that sounds a little excessive. I'll keep it in mind, though, and will try to find a time to have another conversation about this, if only to reiterate that I really want him to do what makes him happiest, even if that's not with me.

>>18070785
I meant rather that he chooses to play video games alone rather than spending time with me. But I do understand what you're saying. I've been trying to get him to try new things with me for a while, like taking dance classes and trying a board game night, but something usually comes up. But I'll keep trying. Thank you!

>>18070771
>>18070794
to be honest, op, what i'm getting from this is that your boyfriend has become bored and expects you to be the one to spice things up, and frankly, i think that's unfair.

if he's not as happy in the relationship whereas you've been feeling fine, and you're the one already suggesting new things to try together and being ignored, he should be putting in just as much effort if not more to capture this magic you've supposedly lost. it's not on you and you alone to keep him entertained lest he leave you because, gasp, people who are together for a long time tend to develop routines.

>>18070786
i'll say it again: seek a professional

this sounds, like it's already a dysfunctional relationship (at least on his part)...
- no honset talk
- doesn't like to do things with you anymore
- no intrest in trying something new
- not breaking up either
- not even trying to fix it (on his side)

you could alway try to sit it out, but that's not a smart choice.

>>18070758
You're supposed to be supportive.

>>18070771
its not about being nice to eachother
its about making your man wanting to grab your ass

what was it like when you were in the honeymoon phase
do shit like that

reignite the fire a bit
hes probably not doing his part either but if nobody tries nothing will happen

be kinky
be cheeky
be fire
be the wind

just do something that wakes him up

>>18071187
Now that I know somethings wrong, I can be.

>>18071749
I've stayed in shape while he's put on 50 pounds. I routinely try to get him to try new things with me, including sexually, only to be shot down. I don't want to have to bend over backwards to ensure someone stays interested in me when he's not even trying to do the same. Thanks for helping me realize that.

Move on.

You seem like an intelligent woman and nothing you do from this point onwards is going to bring the magic back. Once it's gone, it's gone.