ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

Fellow mangs, do you also fear fat angry women with heavy hands? I'm scared of any fat female.

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I guess this is a question for both genders since I want to hear what each side has to say. I was molested by someone a lot when I was young and I've never really had a romantic or even purely physical relationship. I'm a kissless virgin, outside of what happened, at 22 and every time I think I'm getting
close to someone, I get really anxious and doubt myself a lot. My self confidence is through the floor, when it comes to romance, because the few times I did try to reach out to someone in my formative years I fucked it up or failed miserably due to thinking/doing things that weren't right for starting a relationship.

I guess my question is how do you "do" romance? Like, what are the signs that there's something there you can cultivate into a relationship? What do women want to see, feel, and do? I spent so many years where I was screwed up when it came to relationships and sex that now when I'm doing well enough to live a normal life again, I have no idea where to start. I'm sociable and liked by most people, but as soon as something romantic comes up, even as a possibility, I seize up. Even typing this I get the feeling of my heart just dropping through my stomach while I think about it. How do you deal with this, and how do you move on to having a relationship? It's so difficult and I just don't how to initiate romance correctly. What makes it even worse is that women apparently don't like it and lose attraction if you tell them about your feelings regarding to what happened, based on my experiences. Do I just need to never talk about it and imitate what everyone else does? I don't know what to do. I hate myself and every time I try to act like a man, I remember the things he did to me and want to kill myself again.

>>18069528
I knew an almost 500lb girl (not even kidding) in highschool and she'd sit on people that pissed her off. Her legs ended up pretty fucked up due to the weight eventually too so iirc she just lays in bed pretty much permanently now.

She was a pretty bad person anyway so maybe it's fro the best she doesn't interact with the rest of society.

So feel afraid of a fat person? Just run or honestly just do a light jog away and they'll probably pass out from trying to keep up.

>>18069542
>500lb
wew

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>>18069544
It was a hell of a sight. I saw a picture of her on a quad bike back in my senior year and because of her size, it reminded me of when you see a bear riding a tiny bicycle at a circus.

She was also unable to learn how to drive a car since her feet couldn't use the pedals correctly.

>>18069547
I just feel really bad for her. I wish there's a way I could've saved her.

>>18069552
>I wish there's a way I could've saved her
I'll never understand SJWs.

>>18069558
>SJWs
nah

When I see car crashes or wife/husband running each other over (nothing too gory), I find it pretty funny and laugh. Is this a deal breaker for most people?

>>18069552
She was a bad person and a fat person, there's no saving some people. Her brother just barely managed to escape that life. He was fat as shit but dedicated himself to eating healthier so he didn't end up like her (which he didn't, he's slim and kind of fit these days but his family still doesnt understand "healthy eating")

The rest of the family though? All fat fast food junkies. It wasn't genetics at all for them, it was just a love of shitty food that fucked them all up.

>>18069538
Anon, I had attempts of rape as a child by one of my moms ex bf's, so I can relate. He remained in our lives long after I built the strength to confess, so as you can imagine, I had a terrible perception of her afterward. Until one day she apologized for all of it and he was gone.

But while he was still dating him, I met a girl from DeviantArt and 4chan, we fell crazy in love as time went on, and eventually we spent a night together. It was long distance though. But, long story short, I wasn't emotionally and mentally ready for a relationship. My idea of a relationship was way more reserved than hers because she was still a few years younger than me. But yeah, I didn't know it would destroy me later. As I put my trust in my mother, and had it basically stepped on then, I put my trust in her. But it was too high a burden for her little heart, and mine. Lost years of my life depressed when she left.

My advice, is work on yourself. Start running every 4 days or so, eat right, etc. Get a physical job, something labor related to build strength. And put good things in your head, not things that will make you a weaker person, but things that will sharpen you.

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Found out my ex is getting married to a guy she has dated less than a year. We dated for two years...

Was I not good enough for her? Is he better than me? Is that why she decided to marry him this fast?

I don't know what to do. I feel like shit being in a situation that I have no control over.

She was a huge part of my life for 5 years. We were best friends before we dated.

Pic related: Friend sent me caps

>>18069602
How will you feel when they get divorced?

>>18069602
Relax, the wedding either won't happen or it will end in a quick divorce. It's happened to a few people I know and it was usually just because the girl wanted the big beautiful wedding and didn't think about life after the wedding where everything calms down and realize they're stuck with one guy.

The most recent marriage I went to ended like that in less than 8 months.

>>18069602

Getting engaged fast doesn't imply the current guy is "better" than you. She's older now than when she was dating you (likely feels the clock ticking) and quite possibly still in the honeymoon phase of a new relationship (tends to last 6-12 months). Both are reasons why she might have said yes if he asked her to marry him, but neither imples he or the relationship is somehow "better" than what she had with you.

Also, obsessing over an ex like this is not healthy and you should attempt to move the fuck on.

>>18069602
>why she decided to marry him this fast
her clock is ticking kek

or perhaps you can watch 500 Days of Summer. Learn from that guy

>>18069602
He's a better catch than you.

>>18069609
Laugh probably. Feel right. I don't know really

>>18069610
Appreciate the optimism, knowing my luck it might not happen.

>>18069613
Also appreciate the optimism. Anyway, I've tried moving on. I'm currently seeing someone but I just don't feel compatible with her. Its hard to find someone who can top my ex. I've started doing MMA too to direct my frustrations on something positive.

>>18069618
He's a balding numale. Not sure if thats better or worse

>>18069625
>He's a balding numale. Not sure if thats better or worse
Ahhh yeah, well in that case she wanted someone she could control then. The nu male will grovel over her and do whatever she says, so she's got a pet essentially.
Be proud that you're not some nu male that bends to her every demand.

What does numale actually mean? Is it the same as a beta dude?

>>18069646
I heard they use it on 4chan to describe some bald guy in glasses

>>18069646
not exactly. It means these hipstery dudes with glasses that do everything to cater to the sjw/feminism culture and put themselves on a pedestial towards other men as if that makes them somehow better.

>>18069602
stop feeling bad for yourself man. This happens to everyone unless you somehow hit a homerun with your first gf.

>>18069650
Absolute cancer, I can't even grow a beard without being associated with those people anymore.

>>18069663
yeah unfortunately it is very much associated with appearance now, even tho being a numale is a state of mind and character.

>>18069602
I don't know who you are anon, but I hope you feel better

>>18069646
Numale is a guy who is basically a pushover/doormat and sucks the proverbial dick of the social justice cabal for brownie points online.

>>18069666
Satan has it right. A numale is the logical extreme of a whiteknight.

kinda of a question for either gender just need some simple advice.
end of last year i was seeing a girl, things where going amazing and we where getting pretty serious until she had some family shit come up that was pretty bad from what i could tell (Have confirmed with friends/people that the "family shit" isnt some bs excuse to leave me) she wanted some space and to be alone for a while. A little over a month later i try to talk to her and see how shes holding up, she doesn't give me much but says she still going through some rough shit. It almost been another 2 months and can see shes a lot better through the little social media she uses, i want to try start things up again but don't really know how without coming off as needy or fuck things up even more.
Girls do you think shes lost interest in me completely and have no longer a chance? (keep in mind nothing bad/personal happened between us)
Guys what would you do in my shoes? wait? talk? ask her friends?

Kinda stuck in the mud so any advice would be appreciate
(p.s. i'm horrible with women, she is one of the few I've actually made progress towards a relationship with)

Girls, how does the thought of being together with a guy who's shorter than you honestly make you feel?

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To all, from a guy:
What's the best (read: least hurtful) way to let a girl who is borderline obsessed or just desperate down? Or is this about to cross into Notify HR territory? The only reason I haven't is because of the desperation vibe I'm getting of her, it's triggering my concern more than my fear/disgust.
Cliff notes:
>Be studying with girl
>She says I'm not her type
>lol okay, you're not my type either
>Spends the rest of semester staring holes in me, waves at me from ridiculous distance, acts super excited whenever I join a group she's in.
>Oh, this game, wow.
>Delete her from my facebook
>Ignore messages
>Come back from break
>Catching up with friends.
>Maybe she got the message.
>Touches my arm, I move away with the quickness
>Constant suggestions to hang out
>And now today, the fucking coup de grace: I'm not the only guy she's been doing this to.

Do girls actually like sex? Just the act itself, no alternative reason like "love"

>>18069761
>Do girls actually like sex? Just the act itself, no alternative reason like "love"
Yes, why shouldn't we? It is pleasant physically.

>guy asks me out on a a couple dates (all through text btw)
>says I'm cute and he likes me
>only texts me like once every 2 weeks to hang out

i know he's not that busy, his major is bull shit and not hard at all. Doesn't have a job either. He spends most of his time probably smoking weed, playing vidya and dicking around w/ friends


should i drop him?

>>18069761
only if the guy is very attractive and i feel like I'm getting more out of it than him

other wise it needs to be someone i care about

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So a guy just texted me he loves me.
I really like him, but I don't feel like saying "I love you too" back yet.

How do you reply to a text like that?

Is it worth risking asking a girl out if you aren't certain whether she is flirting with you or just being friendly? Obviously I don't want to fuck up a decent friendship if I'm wrong.

It does feel like she's more flirtatious than friendly, I just have no clue about this sort of thing.
>Asked me why I didn't send her a Valentines card.
>Hugged my arm at a slight compliment.
>Asked me about my love life out of the blue.

>>18069781
just tell him you like him and want to be with him but want to take things slow.

and also if he tells you he loves you over text its not real love he's feeling.

>>18069771
What would you want to talk about? You do know that you can iniate a text convo too?

>>18069786
I have started the convos, he likes to end them quickly though. I would like to talk about what he's up to and how he's doing.

I'm getting really bored already... maybe i should go talk to other guys

>>18069784
He left today for a work trip and will be away for 4 weeks. I spent the last week in hospital and he was by my side all the time. I sent him a nice text last night, thanking him for all the support and the affection. He just woke up, read my text and replied with a similar text, ending it with "I love you".
It's not unexpected (maybe?), just felt a bit too much for me.

I asked an arrogant pretty girl (who never talked to me) on a date, she said yes.
Then I had this upper back injury, so I told her, me going outside is not gonna happen, then she came to my room. I totally expected sex, but we stopped at kissing and watching some tvshows, then she noticed my porn folder and got visibly flustered. It turns out she's a huge prude, probably due to her family, and that makes her appear arrogant (to me at least).
I want to fuck her soonish, if I make a move, say obvious sexual advance how would she react? I don't think she dislikes the idea, when we were sitting on my bed watching movie, my huge boner was totally visible I could tell she was trying to pretend she didn't notice it, then I turned pressed it against her, she froze and her face went red. It was so funny I tickled her to make it less awkward.
So, what would be prudish girl's ideal sex scenario?

>>18069789
>I have started the convos, he likes to end them quickly though. I would like to talk about what he's up to and how he's doing.
ah I see.

To be honest I don't really like texting convos either because they always feel so forced. I'm much better when talking in person.

>>18069793
leave her alone, go find a slut to ruin.

>>18069795
every time we see each other irl he treats me exactly how he treat all his guy friends it's weird as hell honestly

>>18069771
>Doesn't have a job either. He spends most of his time probably smoking weed, playing vidya and dicking around w/ friends
>should i drop him?
Yes

>>18069802
we are in college 90% of guys are like that, but I see what you mean

>>18069790
if you two have a strong relationship going he wont get upset that you haven't reached the "I love you" stage yet, people fall in love at different times, guys like it when women are honest, if you arent in love with him yet just tell him, but make it clear that you still want him and that want to one day be in love with him.

>>18069796
>leave her alone
I certainly would if she isn't receptive of my advance. (I texted her saying I have some back pain and couldn't go out she asked if she could come over lol, way to give a guy the wrong idea)

Despite being extremely horny whenever she's too close to me, I wouldn't want to hurt her in any way, so it's preferable that both of us get what we want, I believe if I cut her off now it'd hurt her more than the other way.

>>18069773
Wow, what a cunt.

>>18069781
He's a clingy man-child, ghost him.

>>18069829
sex is meaningless

>>18069843
Hey Lacan, I thought you were dead.

What are the physical signs that a man is attracted to you? How will they act?

>>18069869
if he's friendly to you
and touches you in some places a friend would never touch

>>18069869
body language
>he will constantly look at you or in your general direction

it depends on the guy

>>18069869
If he acts like an autist around you but not with everyone else.

Girls.
Whats is the best way to get your attention/impress you... say at a party

>>18069892
do the robot

>>18069892
I didnt put the sentence right..to get a girl to like me xD

>>18069869

Depends on the guy.

Some men are forward and honest, other men are cautious and "test the waters" so to speak gradually building up the courage to ask you out.

Then you get robots like me, who, if I think you've figured out that I'm attracted to you, I will joking insult you, say some other girl is hot, get really distant, etc, to make you think I don't like you.
Because girls finding out I've liked them, never worked out well. I have a choice between being a creep or an asshole, I'll be the biggest goddamn asshole on the planet.

>>18069759
Self bump

>>18069793
sounds like she likes it rough, next time go straight for her pussy

>>18069602
They could be meant to be, it could end with a nasty divorce, only time will tell. Hell, my parents dated 6 weeks before they got married and have been happily married almost 33 years. You need to move on.

>>18069761
No woman has ever liked sex. Ever.

Ok. I think I'm falling in love with a supermarket cashier. we don't have any kind of relatiinship except "hi" or a random lame joke. plus someone told me she's taken
she's just so beautiful holy mother of jesus. I feel like I get hypnotized when she smiles at me
I want to touch her so badly. I want to taste her saliva. I want to sell her hair
I feel like I'm slowly going crazy. its so fucking pathetic goddamn. shit.

>>18070007
Don't hit on people doing their jobs. Stop being a lonely sack of crap that falls for every cute girl he sees.

>>18070007
customer service workers are required to smile at you. she doesn't like you, stop being so fucking pathetic

>>18069761
If you actually make me feel good then why wouldn't I?

If you're a selfish asshole in bed and I don't like it then why would you be surprised?

>>18069781
Lol he dropped the ball.

Why do guys not believe me when I say I only date other Catholics? But if I say I only date in my race which isnt true that's fine?

Question for girls, kinda silly question, but I can´t get it out of my head.

What do you feel/think if you notice that a (male) friend was looking at your ass?

And female friend with a nice body and me were walking to our next class at college in a narrow corridor, I was walking behind her, she turned to me to tell me something while I was CLEARLY looking at her ass, she show any reaction to it, but there is no way she didn´t notice.

We aren´t very close, we know each other for 3 weeks and only have class together twice a week, but I am starting to really like her so I don´t want her to think I am a perv that only wants her for her body..

>>18070094
as long as it was just looking and nothing else (like making comments, touching, etc) i'd be amused by it

I have a female friend who shuts down on me whenever I start talking about dates/potential romantic interests and I dont get why?

We're pretty open with each other, I talk to her about my issues, she tells me about hers. The thing is when we talk hookups/dates she'll bring up how she had sex with this dude from the bar, or about some guy shes talking to and we'll talk about it. Yesterday I texted her I had a date and her response wasn't what I expected. She was exasperated about how everyone gets dates except for her. "Good for you tho" was her followup. I expected her to want to know about her or how i met her or something. Later I texted her a bit asking her some advice and she didnt text me back. She texted me later but it was just idle chit chat, didnt ask about my date at all.

I found it strange, and offputting to be honest. This was just one instance, but theres been other times where she's done the same. She always goes a bit cold when something like this gets brought up. I feel as a friend she should be able to talk about this stuff with me, and if she doesnt, why bring up her own stuff but ignore mine? I get feeling uncomfortable about the subject matter itself, but why only get like that when its about me and not her? We've known each other for about a year but have only started hanging out and talking a lot in the past two months or so.

>pls respond
>>18069567

>>18070091
burn the coal, pay the toll

Is 5'5 and between 135-145 lbs attractive to some of you guys?

>>18070230
Yes.
http://www.mybodygallery.com/search.html?gender=female&height=165&age=21&weight=64&pantSize=any&shirtSize=any&bodytype=

>>18070217
What?

>>18070230
You'd look so good if you lost 20 lbs. :(

>>18070236
Lurk more.

>>18070230
Had to convert it to kilos, but sounds fine by me, of course, there many more things that dictate wheter or not I feel physical attraction to someone.

If you were a guy you would be in trouble tho, I am 5´7 and feel like a worthless manlet.

Why do I feel less manly man for buying products to do my eyebrows?

>>18070240
No fuck this board

>>18070248
Are you the same guy from yesterday?

>>18070260
Yes, I bought a scissor and tweezers.

>>18070272
it's not "unmanly" to groom dude, get a grip.
it's just ripping hair out of your face.
just think of it like shaving.

for girls, but i guess anyone can answer

>make plans to hang out with girl
>she suggests sunday
>sunday comes, flakes, shesuggests thursday
>i say i can't, and that today is my only free day
>she texts me saying hey
>respond saying i'm free
>no reply

is it about time to give up? I don't want to keep trying only to end up feeling like an idiot and making a fool of myself, but at the same time i like her.

>>18070230
Yes. If the mass i distributed in the right places.

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>>18069602

>>18069663
Beards have been gay since they were brought back into fashion by Hadrian

>>18069708
It wouldn't feel right

How long is the honeymoon period?

How long was it for you?

>>18070627
There is no absolute rule.
I got it from anything from a week to a year and 6 months.

would a woman lie to you to prevent hurting your feelings in front of her, even if she knew that it could cause long-term damage?

>>18070645
>would a woman lie to you
Yes.

>>18070645
Definitely, women hate confrontation.

>>18070665
>>18070677
even if I already opened up to her about how fucking terrible my life is?

she would always speak her mind, she'd be a dick whenever anyone gave her shit, even me. But she was regularly so nice to me, she even wanted to have intercourse with me and I missed her signals since it was my first time.
she was being transferred to someplace and told me she'd be back in a year after I asked if she was coming back.
I even asked if she was lying and she said
>"I wouldn't lie to you"
it was dead eye contact and everything, but I imagined I looked pretty bummed out.

would they normally lie in this scenario?

>>18070698
Nigger, they lie for whatever, don't try to 'understand' women. They aren't predictable like we are.

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Guys
If your girlfriend regularly got mistaken for an actual child would that bother you? Would you want her to try to look older?

>>18070711
How old is my hypothetical gf? I wouldn't date someone under 20.

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>>18070712
22

>>18070710
fuck I know

already, I better fully confess then
she's my teacher and she has a boyfriend
>should I message her school email?
I'm either going to wait until next year before messaging her, or in a month or two and I'll act like I stumbled upon it.
what should I said if I wanted to chat with her somewhere else?
I almost already know what everyone's going to say because I take this shit all the time, I'm looking for advice, she has just as much to do, if not- more than what I've done

That being said: women who are willing to cheat on their boyfriends, what reasons would you, and could you become attached to someone else easier if you are?

>>18070714
I see, well, I wouldn't try to meddle with what my gf dresses or anything unless she's wearing something really inappropriate, but 'looking like a child' seems harmless.

>>18070165
>I have a female friend who shuts down on me whenever I start talking about dates/potential romantic interests and I dont get why?

She either has a slight attraction to you, is a little self absorbed, or else you're style of communication when it comes to those subjects are kind of off and not something she really gels.

I actually had a similar thing with my best friend when I was trying to introduce her to my girlfriend. She'd go waaaaay the fuck out of her way to just last minute flake every time i'd try to introduce them.

Anyway, either don't bring it up or call her out on it and ask what's up. You decide.

>>18070230
>Is 5'5 and between 135-145 lbs attractive to some of you guys?

Sure

>>18070645
>would a man lie to you to prevent hurting your feelings in front of him, even if he knew that it could cause long-term damage?

Same shit. This ain't gendered. People don't have an obligation to prioritize you over themselves.

Blaming them is either you being entitled as fuck, or a total child. Stop casting stones when you're sitting in a glass house. Instead of blaming others, man the fuck up and take responsibility for your own well being.

>>18070719
Big trouble dude, get out.

>>18070723
do you know why I'm asking? because you sure as fuck sound like you do, so go, tell me your presumptions if you haven't already read what I said.

>>18070728
>>18070723
and also, as a guy I can say that I never lie, especially if it has to do with someones feelings and that they were guaranteed to find the truth eventually

>>18070719
Didn't you post before about being schizo and this sending you into an episode? You might be reading into things too much. But it doesn't sound like she's good for a relationship anyway.

>>18070720
You wouldn't think its embarrassing?

>>18070734
I don't care, if she looks then she looks young, nothing I can do besides correct the person.

>>18070733
what do you mean by reading into things?
and yes, the stress did spark some mental trauma.

every post feels like she or someone else I know is responding to me on the other side and that they can tell who I am

>>18070711
>If your girlfriend regularly got mistaken for an actual child would that bother you? Would you want her to try to look older?

Nope.

I actually have a friend that looks pretty young.

True story, was out with her for Sunday brunch and drinks one morning. Waitress handed me a regular menu and then handed her a children's menu.

She's 29.

Is what it is.

>>18070728
>do you know why I'm asking? because you sure as fuck sound like you do, so go, tell me your presumptions if you haven't already read what I said.

it doesn't matter. The principle is the principle.

Take care of your own shit. Don't blame other for not investing in YOUR life. They can do whatever the fuck they want and have absolute no obligation to look after you, because that's your job not theirs.

Now you can choose to NOT deal with those people, that's your prerogative, but everyone has their own shit in life to deal with and you can't expect their lives to revolve around you.

If you have the energy to play the blame game, channel it in to something productive instead of just bitching.


>as a guy I can say that I never lie, especially if it has to do with someones feelings and that they were guaranteed to find the truth eventually

Like I said, your life is yours, other people lives are theirs.

Part of what becoming an adult is is coming to understand that you are responsible for yourself. But so is everyone else. And what that means is that everyone develops their own way of coping, that's based off of their own life experiences. Their way is valid for them just as much as yours is for yours. As long as you get by, there is no real correct or incorrect, just different, and you've got to learn to realize those differences exist.


If you think she's a shit person, fine. Just don't deal with her and move on. But not leaving it at that and then going on to waste all this energy on her is your bad, not hers.

>>18070711
Nah, seems like it would be cute. And who wouldn't want to look younger for longer?

I confessed to a girl and she sort of accepted it? She didn't say she likes me back and she accepts my compliments and still talks to me as if nothing happened sometimes with a bit of romantic innuendo but never said she liked me back.

Am I getting soft-rejected or is it something else?

>>18070737
Reading into things, like thinking she was hinting at sex. Nothing in your post about talking to her pointed to that. Have you talked about any of this with your therapist?

I don't know who you are, I just recognized the story again after seeing you post before.

>>18070803
fair enough, yeah, I've posted on this thread several times.
there's A LOT of detail I'm missing out to imply she was giving off hints, I'd rather not get into it because it was insanely subtle, stuff that you would only understand if you were there to see it.

But I'm currently getting myself checked from a doctor to get a second opinion on what this has done.

and yes, so far they've said that I'm eligible for medication.

>>18070815
The one I saw seemed like sort of a ramble. But that's good that you're getting help.
I think that's what you should be focused on before worrying about her.

Whatever the situation, better to be in a good headspace yourself before pursuing anyone.

>guy doesn't have any relationships outside of his family
Would you date him?

>>18070862
Yeah if he's nice and we get along why not? Maybe he just doesn't care for people.

I posted a couple days ago about having talked to a girl and chilled a few times asking whether or not she was interested in me.

Well, I asked her on a date today and she said that she was already talking to somebody but that she was flattered. She then added that she would still hang out.

Is this a friend-zone type deal, is she trying to keep me as an orbiter, or something else?

I feel kinda weird having advocated a romantic route and then shutdown, only to continue as friends. Is it bad to want to talk more about this or what?

How do I seek mental help? I feel like I'm a schizoid or something because almost all interaction with anyone seems so foreign and uncomfortable to me, but I would really like to pursue a romantic relationship more than anything in the world. I realize that I need to fix my level of self-esteem and affability in order to do this, but part of seeking mental help relies on being comfortable with a somewhat intimate level of interaction, aside from also being socially competent enough to get ideas across.
I went to a therapist on and off for the past year, when I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety in a screening. However, I wasn't able to gain a suitable rapport with the therapists I visited (I tried two different people because the first one made me feel like shit) and I felt like such a freak being there that I didn't say half of what I really wanted to. It didn't help much. I feel very alone and I know I cannot keep up with this forever. Thanks for the help in advanced.
tl;dr How do I get help without any social skills?

>>18070879
Sounds like the friend zone. You can talk more about it if you want, but chances are pretty high you'll never be more than friends.

>>18070799
>Am I getting soft-rejected or is it something else?

I'm a dude but,

This is why "confessions" are dumb. They're too open ended and aren't really an actual action--they're more of a cop out. Because of that nature, it's kind of impossible for you to know.

Think about it from the other persons point of view:

If someone out of the blue "confesses" to you out of nowhere with a metric shit ton intense "feelings" ... what would you do with that?

Even if you actually kind of liked them and would want to give them a shot, facing such a mismatch of intense feels makes you feel like you don't really have any good response because you haven't had a chance to develop anything nearly as strongly yet, and you don't even know if you can. It puts an awkward pressure on you.

Plus, it's not like a "confession' has any kind of direction to it. If they were asking you on a date, at least that's a question with a logical answer. But a confession is just open ended statement and to which there's no real appropriate response.

So what the fuck do you do with that? Awkwardly saying, "haha... yeah thanks" is basically the default response.

The best play is always to just ask them out, giving them an actual opportunity to see what potential there is, instead of just blindsiding them with something they never really had time to considered seriously.

>>18070879
>I posted a couple days ago about having talked to a girl and chilled a few times asking whether or not she was interested in me.


Don't overthink it. Take what she said at face value:

>She's flattered that you asked--because it's flattering when people are interested in you.
>She's got her eye on someone else.
>She thinks you're someone fun to hang out with.

Stop falling for buzzwords and memes.
Contrary to what 4chan tells you, "friend-zone" and "Orbit" are not the way people think. What they think is: "Oh hey, this person is kind of cool. I don't know if i'd date them but hanging out is fun."

Girls and Guys

At what point should I start to worry if a girl didn't respond to a text?

(It was just a random kinda friendly one, as I was updating her on something shes been trying to make me do)

What's the best sex position for when a girl is so tight that it's difficult to even fit the tip in?

My gf doesn't have a lot of experience. We tried missionary position, but I just couldn't get it inside her. She's just too tight.

What else can we try?

>>18069869
Depends. I lack much in the way of confidence or self-esteem, so I try to act as 'normal' as I can around women I am attracted towards because I fear scaring them off and alienating them. Other men who are more confident will probably mirror you, look at you a lot, touch you, etc.

>>18070942
At least wait 24 hours.

>>18070975
I guess 9 hrs isn't too bad?

She typically replies to me, but usually within 4-6

>>18070979
She could just be busy tonight. Relax, and try not to overthink things.

>>18070980
I guess. She probably was working today, assuming she has class Mon/Wed. So I guess its not too bad currently

Guys

Why is it that I am unable to fap to my "Crush"?

>>18070994
oh come on, this isn't that hard to spell out.

it's more than your dick that's feeling for her

>>18070994

You want romance from your crush, not banging and leavin' hanging.

A crush is when you want something more, a fap is just a fap.

Doesn't mean you don't find your crush sexually attractive, you just don't find the idea of emotionlessly fucking them like a goddamn sextoy attractive.

>>18071002
Maybe, but I would think that I would still be able to even force myself to do it

>>18071007
THat makes sense. I guess I really have feels for her more than just using her as a fucktoy

>>18070941
>>18070902
Thanks for the insight guys. Is it wrong to feel uncomfortable about each other's different levels of intimacy, in this case, friendship and romantic?

UPDATE: She just said that she'd be down to chill Sunday. Is it a bad idea to consider this?

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girls

today I saw a fatass while walking.
whenever I see a good fatass, on a street,party,class,lab,stadium,gym, whereever else, they so good they makes me horny and just thinking about it makes me feel good. one good ass makes my day.

now what kind of attributes of guy make girls feel like this? maybe a really good looking face? right height maybe?

Reconnected with ex girlfriend about two month ago. We talked it over about starting again. She agrees and things are better than before. Better communication most of all.

Then about a week ago she starts getting distant. Doesn't answer calls or return like did before. Texting less. Started happening after a girls dinner/get together so presumably they told her not to continue with me.

Now tells me she doesn't want to continue to date again.

Should I ask why? Say Ok and break contact?

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>>18071041
arms that look like this or thereabouts
also, a seductive or charming smile

>>18071041
I'm a guy, but consider this: Whenever I see a woman with the right pair of thighs, that gets me going. It's different strokes for different folks

>>18071058
What does a seductive or charming smile look like?

>>18071081
idk like sometimes you meet eyes with a guy and he smiles at you really genuinely
it's not something i can specifically describe

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>>18071081
Roughly this

>>18070945
If you're hard enough, you can penetrate ANYTHING.

>>18070994
Your penis is gay, even though you are not.

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what's the proper way to kiss a girl?

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>>18071094
Like this

would you fuck a guy who was really good at fingering, but kinda lame with the d
t. bassist

>>18071148
>Your penis is gay, even though you are not.
Sure, even though I can beat off to any other girl I find attractive

>>18071153
In the mouth.

>>18071153
not the same anon but, related:
for anyone who has been french kissed, how good is this advice?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ogP-Vc2SUA

>>18071162
As a guitar/bass player this made me kek hard

As an aside, does that even really help

>>18071153
With yer penor mane

>>18071162
Just because you play the bass, doesn't mean you're good at fingering...

Why is Trump governing the country like an ass?

>>18071305
He's governing like an illiterate buffoon. Because that's what he is.

>>18071305
Because chemo is painful

>>18070945
Are you fingering her during foreplay? Do you use lube?

>>18071415
This isn't relevant to our thread. This is for asking questions, not story time. You didn't even edit this and you're namefagging. The way you type makes me cringe. Please reconsider how long you've lurked before you start posting. There is unique culture for every board. You should any new board as if it's your first time on 4chan. Lurk, understand expectations.

>>18070896
I'm glad that you branched out to try a different therapist when the first one didn't work out. Did you choose one from the same organization? What kind of therapies did they specialize in?
I do suggest you keep trying new therapists. A therapist is supposed to make you feel welcomed regardless of whatever freaky stuff you've got going on. I also find that with a new therapist, it takes until around the third session to get through catching them up on my life and actually doing work. You'll know how you feel about them faster than that, though.

>>18071019
>>18070879
You know her better than us on if she would be uncomfortable with talking more about how you feel about this. I know that I personally talked extensively with a friend who asked me out.
You also need to consider what it feels like to be around her when she isn't interested in you. Some people recover from that and can resume friendship. Other people are frustrated, feeling like a starving man at a donut case. Don't force yourself into the latter.

>Be quiet guy
>Only women who are into me are overly chatty extroverts
>Quiet women act terrified around me
I've tried just being in the area and slowly getting to know the women I would like to date, but it seems like they want nothing to do with me/act scared. Looking for general input on how to approach introverted women.

>>18069498
what amount of trust does it take to send nudes/provocative pictures of yourself to a guy?
aren't you ever worried of them leaking out on the internet?
also, what do you do with nudes that are send to you from guys while sexting? do you store them to look them up later of just delete them after a while?

>>18071455
No amount of trust would be enough.

>also, what do you do with nudes that are send to you from guys while sexting? do you store them to look them up later of just delete them after a while?
Show them to my friends so we can laugh at them when we meet up for coffee

>>18069793
LEAVE
HER
ALONE
REEEEE

>>18069793
We told you she wasn't going to fuck you, you desperate creep

>>18071483
>>18071478
>>18069945
>ask for ideas
>get a bunch of salty replies again

wow you guys are fucking sad

Are there any interracial people here?

I'm a Canadian in a serious relationship with someone from Thailand and I'm curious as to how interracial babies feel about their race. What was it like growing up with your parents? I feel like males with Asian ethnicity do not feel very fortunate about their race.

Anyone who has thought seriously about kids, or perhaps has one - I would appreciate your thoughts on this too.

Personally I'll be sad that my blue eyes will not be passed down. Also at the back of my mind it's just gnawing at me - it's like my child will be a mutt. I've never thought about these things before and I'm a bit concerned about these thoughts I'm having.

>>18071503
I'm interracial. I never felt bad or sad about it. Some kids gave me some shit in elementary school once that I can remember.

I'm half white but jesus christ white people really creep me the fuck out with their hangups about "passing on genes" and shit.

"Your blue eyes" will likely not even show up in your kids anyway. It's a fucking recessive trait.

I posted this on another thread, but maybe I need more female advice.

I really want to propose to my girlfriend of over 2.5 years, we're both 28 and everything has been awesome from the day we've met. Only one thing is bothering me, and keeping me from taking the plunge. She has lots of guy friends. Two of them I know for a fact like her (she knows too, but she doesn't care / thinks it's funny and says they are non-threats) probably about four other guys she keeps in weekly contact with. I.e. Text / Snapchat. And she also has an ex that texts her about once a month who she never initiates conversation with, but she will text him back. She always tells me when these people text her too, (I don't get outwardly jealous, I'm not sure if she likes that or not) Ine time I can think of that pissed me off is she became friends with a guy at work around six months ago, she was supposed to go to a work party and he was going to be a dd for her and some friends. She told me she was going to his house to hang out with him before they left, I got mad. When I got mad and told her it wasn't cool to hang out with him alone at his house, she freaked out and started sobbing and accused me of not trusting her. I do trust her, but being a guy myself and knowing things I've done in the past I have a hard time trusting other guys. Anyway literally a day later she stops being friends with him after he spread a rumor at work that they "cuddled" and that's the last I've heard of him. We've moved away in a different state since then and all of the friends she had made (except for one) have been guys. She says it's because she makes friends easier with guys, but it's starting to get old fast. Opinions? Suggestions on how to expose some of the guys. No "DUMP THE DIRTY TRAMP" comments, I know she isn't cheating she doesn't have the time, if she was I'd be REALLY impressed we both spend about 95% of our days together.

>>18071503
Don't be a mudshark or your child will have identity issues like this one here. >>18071504

>>18071503
My boyfriend's mixed and he has no problem with it. We don't live in the US though, we don't have the same hangups as Americans do about race.

>>18069883
underrated

>>18071503
>Are there any interracial people here?

My father is a Mexican who left when he was 16 to find work to be able to support his mother.

My mother is a Korean who left when she was 17 because a democracy was taking root at the time, and her boyfriend was a political activist. Which meant when he was imprisoned she had two choices: Leave the country, or go to jail.

My parents ended up making their way, starting their own business, and so I grew up middle class.

My first language was Korean, my second was Spanish, and my third language was English, but I identity first and foremost as American.

I have no real thoughts when it comes to my Mexican heritage, I have no real thoughts when it comes to my Korean heritage.

I guess the one hangover I have is I've never really wanted to date Korean-american girls (because I find a lot of them a highly superficial, and it has to do with the culture. In fact I've done papers on pretty much that same subject: the divide between Koreans in Korea and Koreans in America)

All in all, I don't really give a fuck. I am who I am. What probably helps too is that the friends I live in California and I grew up with friends came in all shapes and sizes (white, asain, arabic, latino, etc) , so the concept of ethnic isolation or being different was never really something I ever thought about or was aware of

>>18071504
>Your blue eyes" will likely not even show up in your kids anyway. It's a fucking recessive trait.

All she would have to do is find a guy with blue eyes m8

>>18069793
Top kek, I was around for that thread where you were posting about her coming over to hang out in your room and I guaranteed you wouldn't get laid and she'd be disgusted.

Here's prediction #2: she's not prudish and you're just a pushy creep, she won't sleep with you and you'd be lucky if you ever see her again.

kissing tips from girls please...

never had a kiss.

>>18071539
Not really. blue eyed parents can still and probably usually do carry brown eye genes and their kids can have brown eyes. lrn2highschoolbiologyclass

so within the last month some new guy started at my girlfriend's job.

every so often she complains about him; he's dumb, bad at his job, and just a general grump to be around

today I was hanging around my girlfriend and her room mate when she complained about that guy again, then got up to get a drink

her room mate turned to me and said something akin to "he's just so dumb. he like tries to sweet talk her and gives her gifts when he knows she's dating you"

that really made me feel antsy but I didn't confront my gf because on one hand 1) she's an adult and I can trust her to handle it and 2) I'm insecure because my last relationship ended because my ex cheated on me

what direction do I take this? do I talk to her about it?

>>18071557
If it's recessive, doesn't that mean that you need two blue eye traits to have blue eyes? In that case why wouldn't two blue eyed parented always have a blue eyed kid?

>>18071539
>parents both have blue eyes
>grandparents did too
>mine are green
Dunno

>>18071562
Talk to him nu male cuck

>>18071563
No because brown eyes is controlled by 2 different genes. You need both of them active to have brown eyes. You could have only one active gene which will make you have blue eyes. But you still pass that brown gene onto your kids. So for blue eyed parents like this it works out to about a 25% chance their kid will have brown eyes.

>>18071562
Well for one thing, ask why she never told you about it and then ask if she's filed a formal complaint about harassment (which it is).

>>18071557
But the way you're talking about it and the way I answered ARE using simple highschool biology (Mendelian genetics). Of course two blue eyed people CAN have a brown eyed child, but it's rare. Two blue eyes parents will most likely have a blue eyed child. For simplification, if OP wanted to have a blue eyed kid, she wouldn't just have to find a blue eyed guy and they would most likely have blue eyed kids. Not that hard.

>>18071551
uh huh your "prediction" in that thread was it'd go badly.
sorry to inform you that it didn't lol hope you're not mad.
She sure was disgusted when I pressed my dick against her lol, we've been sitting next to each other in class since then and we're meeting up again Friday night (oops)

I find it very funny that anons here seem to hope that the girl's relationship with me ends (unsurprisingly), while it only seems to be prolonged. All I ask is how to get sex from her quickly.

>>18071577
>All I ask is how to get sex from her quickly.
And that is why it will fail.

>>18071575
1/4 odds is not rare, m8.

What's rarer is the double inactive genes which would make brown eyed offspring impossible.

>>18071585
If you're taking about
http://genetics.thetech.org/how-blue-eyed-parents-can-have-brown-eyed-children

Then you've misunderstood it. The EXAMPLE they used to demonstrate that it is possible has a 25% chance of brown eyed children. Not all blue eyed people have that specific genetic combination of alleles at all. Hell one of the very first sentences there is

>how blue eyed parents can have a brown eyed child. Yet this can and does happen (although it isn’t common).

>>18071588
I didn't misinderstand, you did. I already said for my example for the sake of argument, it was a given that both parents are carriers because, that's more likely. Since the double recessive blue eye is obviously the rarest. Keep up or shut up.

I hooked up with a guy, he seemed super nice and he was totally sweet to me, texted me after and told me he had fun etc.
I live in a dorm right near his and see him around a lot and before I left I said "You better say hi to me when you see me around because so many guys dont haha" and he laughed and said "yeah of course are you kidding? guys don't say hi?"

and then I saw him today with a group of his friends and I was with friends too. I smiled and he looked down and did not say hi.

why are dudes like dat????

>>18071590
Meh sorry I just realized maybe you didn't see my post >>18071569

>>18071591
It's because you can't read
>>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
>Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing.

I have a question. I haven't had a girlfriend in six years, I've tried dating and nothing comes of it, I've tried letting them be friends for awhile and such and nothing comes of it. I'm in good shape, friendly, have good social skills, am clean, funny, can cook, have a decent job, have a car. I live with roomies, though. On the flip side, I have a bit of a depressive streak but it doesn't dominate my life, I'm a bit of a homebody and like indoor hobbies, am a wee bit intolerant of gossipy things. What am I doing wrong? I put myself out there, I've tried online but always get hit up for drugs or just sex. I'm starting to give up hope.

>>18069538
Go to therapy and work on your self perception and worthiness as a person to love and be loved in a safe and consensual adult relationship.

>>18071591
He's nervous. Try talking to him like an adult.

>>18071598
Consider this
>we don't know you
>you've talked a lot about what you're doing right, but very little about what you're doing wrong
Now I ask YOU a question: how the fuck are we supposed to know what you're doing wrong?

>>18071597
This. Expecting anything else from a random hookup is also retarded.

>>18071590
>I already said for my example for the sake of argument, it was a given that both parents are carriers because, that's more likely.

It isn't though.

>>18071608
Yes, it is.

>>18069759
Say: I don't feel comfortable when you touch me. That should directly send the message that you don't like her and are not playing hard to get. If she says "why?" say I'm just not comfortable around you. If it continues be even more direct by saying please stop bothering me, do not lose your temper or this can be turned against you very quickly in highschool/ college.

How do I get to know/learn why a guy is closed off and standoffish? The humor in this is that I'm Danish and he's American, and we're both in Denmark. He is easily more quiet and introverted around new people than any Scandinavian I've met. I thought he'd be easy to talk to since he's kinda friends with my roommate (she keeps pushing me to him), but he's ignored my friend requests and generally ignores me, which is how he is with my roommate, which is why I said kjnda friends.

>>18069782
Come on, you see the signs. Either that or you cherry-picked them as fuck dude, ask her out. If she says no, say no biggie and continue being friends. If it's weird you weren't meant to be good friends or wait a couple months to hang again

>>18071618
Why do you want to know him in the first place?

>>18071598
You aren't being casual enough and you need to relax. It seems like you want it too badly.

>>18071618
He posts weird shit on fb lol, maybe he isn't interested in creating bonds with you, doesn't find you attractive, or is actually too nervous and if so time and a tiny bit of increasing pressure will help.

>>18071618
Is he just visiting/studying in Denmark? He probably doesn't want to make friends since he'll just be moving back home again at the end.

Or he just doesn't like you.

>>18071621
1. I'll be honest, he is gorgeous.
2. He's older and well-traveled. My roommate is always going on about where he has been, things he's seen and learned. He does seem like an interesting person.
3. Asking around, he is very intelligent and well-read

>>18071625
Okay, so just be around him and his oppressive silence. Sounds like fun. When should I give up?

>>18071628
Staying at least for another year and half.

>>18071635
It's worth considering some people just aren't friendly. You're also really only attracted to him for things he's done and the mystery about him, plus his disinterest in you.

>>18071635
Ok, I understand better now. Some people don't open up easily to others. Try spending time with him, maybe doing something he wants to do. After a while he may start being more friendly. Or he just might not like you for one reason or another.

>>18071635
>He's older and well-traveled
Just out of curiosity - do you expect to be involved in exciting travels with him in the future? I'm a bit travelled and I'm already almost ready to settle down a bit.

>>18071605
sorry I think it's ridiculous not to say hi to someone after having sex with them two days in a row lol
that's just human decency to me and he really seemed different
especially if they specifically ask you to
>>18071603
ok tru I deserve to be roasted i'm being a pussy
i just don't want to seem so petty lol
im ashamed of my pettiness

What is it like to be an extremely attractive woman? Do guys seem extra nervous to you in daily settings? Do people follow you around? Overall do you like the attention or find it annoying?

Asking female posters:

I recently got in a relationship with a very cute girl of a different race, she is normally very fun to be around, but whenever she is drunk she gets unnecessarily racist. I've told her to stop, but she keeps doing it, can anyone help it's starting to get to me

>>18071650
>What is it like to be an extremely attractive woman
asking at the wrong place kek

>>18071639
Not to sound bitchy, but so?

>>18071643
Not really. I guess what I like about it is there's a chance he might stay here, or at least, he's not one hundred percent committed to staying in any particular country. The bigger part is I guess the maturity. We're in school and a bunch of people who've never left the country are throwing out political views and the guy who's been all over and lived in Europe, Asia, and Africa keeos quiet and only speaks when no one else has an answer. The one time someone decided to bring up Trump in class , everyone looked at him and he just responded with "What? We talking about a country none of you have ever lived in?"

>>18071642
>>18071657
Oh, I should add that alternatively, if you just want the dick, start being really flirty, in an obvious way. Some guys don't take hints well, and he could be one of them if he's the quiet type.

>>18071664
I really am more concerned with just how to get to know him. So I'd rather not start acting slutty.

Why is it that I only have confidence problems when I want to either approach a girl I'm attracted to or want to ask a girl I've known for some time to a date? In every other scenario I can contain my overthinking and nervousness.

>>18071665
Fair enough. Then I'd go with my original point.

Are women who bitch about straight white men, SJWs etc more open to dating non-white men? It seems they should be, but then again such ideologies are rife with hypocrisy.

>>18069498
Why can't real life be like porn? Where everyone is DTF at any time? And I don't mean with significant others.....I mean strangers.

>>18071685
They date skinny nu males that put them on a pedestal and do whatever they say.

File: 1481777310001.png (933KB, 2090x524px)

933KB, 2090x524px

>>18071685
Sometimes, but sometimes its just so they can say they dated a black guy or whatever. There have been numerous articles where feminist women basically admitted they're not really into men they'd consider "allies", and that their "allies" turn them off.

Turns out when people devote themselves to identity politics they're usually a touch retarded. Pic semi related.

If a guy were to talk about his feelings, would he be more likely to talk to a guy or a girl?

>>18070230
Yes indeed.

>>18071699
A girl. Guys don't usually talk to other guys about feelings. Also it would be a cool we're pretty close with.

>>18071699
I would do it anonymously online.

>>18071699
I'd be more inclined to approach a woman, but only if there was strong trust. Otherwise I'd probably internalize it and/or see a therapist.

>>18070942
No offense....but if your biggest worry in life is stressing over a text, then you need to either get out more or get a hobby, dude. You keep acting that insecure with women, you will fail with every one of them except for the ones who are as insecure as you are.

As long as you aren't in trouble for doing something stupid, then don't stress it. Otherwise, you make yourself look like a chump with no self-esteem...and that is a bad move on your part.

>>18070945
Her on top. Let her control things until she can get used to it.

>>18070994
Have you ever viewed her sexually? You overthinking this definitely will not help.

>>18071051
Getting back with an ex is always a bad idea. They were an ex for a reason.

>>18071562
You may want to ask yourself why she keeps talking about this dude. If she allegedly feels so negative about the guy, why does she keep bringing him up in conversations?

Females: how sensitive are the breasts during arousal? Is having them fondled actually a pleasant sensation

>bf has completely lost interest in sex
>still physically affectionate, grabs my ass a lot, kisses and hugs me all the time
>but no v in the d
>says he just feels anxious about it suddenly, feels "off"
>I can't stop mentioning it, asking about it, being upset
>this is causing more anxiety
>starting to make me feel a bit detached as our sex life was amazing
>feel like a bitch because it's clearly something he's struggling with

How can we work through this? The lack of sex is the one thing I focus on and it's slowly eroding what was an incredible relationship.

>>18071730
Sit down with him, look him in the eyes and ask.

>>18071730
I'm a guy going through what your bf is doing. I can't say why, I still love her, I'm just pretty depressed lately and I've shut down sexually as a result.

>>18071732

I have done this a few times and he just awkwardly shrugs it off. It's gotten to the point where the only time I bring it up is to tell him it's making me feel bad, which in turn is putting more pressure on him and making him less in the mood.

I thought I could deal with it because I understand people go through periods where they're not interested in sex. This has just been going on for so long now that I can't focus on anything else.

I don't want to have to beg him to have sex with me, I want him to instigate it so I know he wants it and isn't just placating me.

>>18071735

I'm sorry to hear that anon. It's the worst feeling because it makes the other person feel really unattractive and unwanted. It's hard to accept that there isn't anything wrong with you.

I also understand how frustrating it must be to have your partner in front of you, love them dearly and just have zero interest in sex, knowing how this is making them feel.

It's quite a predicament.

>>18071737
Have you talked him about the possibility of talking about his possible issues to a professional?

>>18071579
lol k

>>18071739

I've mentioned that I think maybe this is more than just a low mood phase as it has been almost consistent for the past few months. We have no issues in our relationship other than this, he enjoys his job, our home is lovely and we have zero financial issues. There don't seem to be any triggers which have caused this, so there's every chance it could be physiological.

I don't think he would speak to a professional either, as he's adamant it's just a phase.

>>18071737
It very probably is just a phase. I've been through it before and it lasted about a month or two. Feeling pretty shitty can have a strong effect on a lot of things.

As long as everything else is going fine then don't worry too much, it really is just a phase.

>>18071744
Kind of weird he suddenly got performance anxiety like that. Does he fap regardless of his phase?

>>18071745

Yeah, he said it has been a common thing in his life, even as a child (feeling a bit detached, I mean). I can't fault him, he's very loving and affectionate, it's not like we don't talk and he sits on his own all day. I just can't really deal with how unwanted it's making me feel and I feel terrible putting all this pressure on it by continously mentioning it. It's like it's an elephant in the room. But thanks for sharing anon- it makes me feel a bit better knowing it's not an uncommon thing :)

I feel I should add, I have hideously low self confidence as it is and probably harbour a few issues regarding sex from previous relationships. Having suffered dead bedroom syndrome in my last relationship, deciding I didn't enjoy sex anyway, then meeting current partner and realising it was amazing...I think I perceive a lack of sex as a natural decline in a relationship and panic. He made me feel attractive and actually enjoy sex for the first time in years and that meant so much to me - so for him to lose interest is probably having a worse effect on me than it really should do.

>>18071746

I don't think he does - no. Obviously I don't watch him all the time but he'd have no reason to lie to me about this as we're super open about it. He knows I do it. When I've asked, he said he doesn't get the time, but there certainly isn't anything stopping him. So I'm guessing it is a general drive thing. I've suggested that he spends more time doing it, to see if it jump starts him again.

>>18071747
I guess it's all an unfortunate perfect storm then. Things will go back to normal soon enough, I've been getting better lately too so he will at some point I'm sure. It can happen to anyone really.

Don't feel unwanted though, he loves you. Sex is only a small part of love anyway.

>>18071747
He might have a lot of stress from some source. It can lead to things like low sex drive and low mood.

Also this >>18071755 anon has it right too.

I don't feel like this needs its own thread, so both genders can answer:

I have a hard time opening up to people. For example if someone asks me how my relationship is doing I can't find words to describe it, navigate around the question or answer with a question of my own. Some new friends of mine have asked me about my past, but I can't give thorough answer because I feel like my past is boring as fuck so I end up telling them nothing important. Ironically this has led to me being le secretive mystery man of the bunch, so whenever we are out as a group, people try to pry me open which makes me even more uncomfortable that leads to behaviour I described earlier.

How do I break down this "wall" or "bubble" that causes me to do this? Coupled with being nervous overthinker when I want to do harmless things like ask a girl out I feel so different from others.

>>18071763
You just got to learn to let go of your ego, other people really don't care about what you say or think as much as you believe they do. I know this sounds harsh but it is actually a goo thing.

So what if your story bores them? They won't remember anyway in a few hours.

Having said that it's still fine not to open up to any old person if you don't feel like it

>>18071866
I thought ego makes you flaunt your achievements at others, I'm complete opposite.

>>18071453
We're fucked either way. All women would rather prefer an extrovert to some introvert because shyness/quietness is seen as a weakness in men.

>>18071917
I'm introverted and I prefer introverts.
Extroverts tire the shit out of me.

Also - introverted =/= shy and awkward.

I'm quite confused bro's i'm 8 years older than this chick (she's 21) and she works behind a bar at a sports centre where I play and I've got her number/fb etc.. I keep feeling like i get mixed messages from her and I can't tell if she likes me or not, she asked me how old I thought she was and said I look younger etc.. I went to leave and she said you should stay and have a drink (was with a mate) and she made me free food saying it helps cause we're drinking. 2nd time I've received free food from her, dunno what to make of it, help please.

>want a gf
>spend most of my time shitposting and watching youtube
>not passionate anything whether it be music, video games, movies, politics, etc.
>will probably hate whatever major in
Is there any hope for my dating life?

Why are you girls all horrible witches who find pleasure in seeing men suffer for sport?

>>18071959
No.

>>18071963
>Why are you girls all horrible witches who find pleasure in seeing men suffer for sport?
We just do it with you specifically because we hate you.

>>18071963
DESU men have done this way more to me than any girl.

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>>18071970
perhaps it's a sex thing
maybe you could stop being such a hoe idk

>>18071977
I may be a broken human but at least I can love and feel deeply. The only things you feel are anger and resentment.

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>>18071982
not same anon :) I have no complaint about my girls, at least not yet

>>18071982
No, you just want a crutch to compensate for your low self esteem and childhood trauma. And since you're a girl you can get all the sex you want whenever you want it with everybody you want. However you lack the self respect to only take it for someone who actually cares. You might be mistaking a confident man with someone who really just doesn't give a shit and really just wants a living flesh light.

>>18069498
Girls, how would you feel if you knew your guy actively masturbates to traps?

>>18071985
>>18071989
It still stands. Every man is the same.

>>18071992
Welp everytime you decide to go like
>this one is different
you get screwed over

let's jut agree humans are horrible. I'm just frustrated I can't get hard watching porn anymore and I need a release.

>>18071994
>can't get hard watching porn anymore
whoa dude
have you seen a doctor about it

>>18071991
"Oh wow, my boyfriend is gay"
Then I'd get over it.

>>18071994
It's easy to make judgements but difficult to be compassionate.

Why don't you try to stop looking at it and give up masturbating for a few weeks while you let yourself reset?

>>18071992
you have life on easy shut the fuck up

>>18072003
I will soon I hope, waiting lists are fucking long.

I can still get an erection but it seems visual stimuli doesn't work anymore. It seems like romantic chats are the only thing that works now. I had a fetish that made it for me until it let me to almost sell myself into sexual slavery now I don't wanna touch it anymore.

>>18072006
Made two major attempts at no fap. One for one month and another for two months. Didn't do shit.

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>>18072005
but still loves him?
I mean some traps are just outstanding as a sexual attraction

>>18072011
Porn is god awful anyway for various reasons.
It honestly sounds like a positive thing rather than negative.

>>18072013
Yeah, sure.

I mean, they still have a cock. I still don't think you're exactly the straightest for getting horny for a trap. I do find some of them really attractive, but still.

But, whatever - I'd think they're a bit bisexual and not give a shit after the initial "shock".

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>>18069498
I'm balding and will probably be totally bald before I'm 30. I have big ears but a nice face (or so I'm told), so the look doesn't suit me at all. I have piercing blue eyes like pic related (although I'm not quite as handsome).
What do girls think about this? I think girls my own age or younger would find it to be a huge turn off...

>>18072033
what do you think about balding girls?

>>18072033
Nice hair > bald > balding

There is not much you can do. Just shave it and move on with your life. Yes, it's not idea to be bald in your 20s, but honestly there are worse thing. If you're noticeably balding, it's better to just get bald and live with it.
Stay in shape, dress well and you'll be fine.

>>18072006
I might add don't you lecture me about compassion I've been a fuck emotional tampon my whole life and the only thing I got was cuckoldry. If you want compassion from me you'd better ask someone else. It never did anything for me be compassionate and listen and care about someone or be mindful of their feelings and help them going through rough times and show empathy.

I've simply ran out of patience.

>>18072035
There are a lot of girls who wear wigs anyway so it doesn't really matter. Seems like a ton of girls these days wear wigs/extensions, especially black girls. wouldn't make a difference to me, but I'm not nearly as shallow and picky as most people.

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>>18072033
time to go full Kerry King.

>>18071654
What race is she out of curiousity? Also if you're white and she is a poc you're gonna have a way harder time convincing her to tone down the racism.

>>18071657
How rich is this guy? He seems like the type that has silent superiority and impassivity, enigmatic from afar but extremely frustrating when you actually get to know them.

>>18072037
that's not really what I asked. I mean is it a deal breaker?
Prince Charming isn't bald.

>>18072064
No. It is not ideal, but not a dealbreaker for most.

For females:
So, I like a girl and maybe she likes me too but all signs she gives me may mean nothing. If it was anyone else I'd think they like me but it's different with her because she is nice to everyone so I can't tell the difference. The only special treatment I seem to be getting is that she is talking about some very personal stuff with me that she doesn't talk with anyone else, and that she wants to cook for me

What do

Why can't I seem to make close friends?

I'm a commuting, average college male, (not fat, average looking, shower consistently, average clothing) and I see people hanging out, saying hello when they walk past each other, and texting all the time.
I talk to some people in class, but nobody ever says hi to me (unless I do) when they pass me or comes up to talk to me. The most interaction I get is a smile from a couple girls who are in the same class I am. Is it because I don't live in the dorms? I try to be really friendly, I'm not much of a chatterbox but I do go out of my way to pay attention and smile when I'm being talked to and respond accordingly.

I've had a couple people I chatted with during high school, but I never once hung out with people outside of school. I just to go out of my way to interact with others to get past that awkward shy stage, but I never seem to get past that acquaintance level of friendship.

>>18072089

Flirt. Tease her, be tactile (within reasonable limits), complement her when it's due. If she responds well (blushes, laughs at your shitty jokes, doesn't pull away when you touch her, etc), ask her our. If she doesn't react or withdraws, she likes you only as a friend and considers you her male BFF.

>>18072119

To befriend someone you have to spend time with them and to get to know them, before they start to consider you a friend. Saying hi kn class won't cut it. If you get to tag a long to lunch after class, that's a start. If you get invited to something extracurricular, that's a major win. Make attempts to talk to people more in class, so they remember you and might consider inviting you places. Also, if possible, join some campus activities where you spend more time with people and see them regularly. Be approachable, ask how people are doing, ask them class related things, comment on mutual experiences (class related stuff is still a good place to start, bur expand to personal interests). Find some common ground. It's about repetition and effort. Once people start to know you a bit, the greeting thing becomes more regular and eventually they might invite you along to parties and such.

So basically up until yesterday I was a kissless virgin (still virgin). I went for my first kiss attempt and it was horrible. She hopped on me and went to town with heavy tongue and biting then she wanted me to take the lead after I got into it. Ended up kissing for like 1.5 hours. Def would have went farther but my mom came home and she got nervous.

Aren't first kisses supposed to be simple?

>>18072142
>Aren't first kisses supposed to be simple?

They are how people involved make them to be. Some are horrible, some are cute and sweet. Some are a full blown make out sessions. It will improve quickly, once you know a bit what you like best.

>>18072139
Thanks. I have to leave campus by 4pm everyday (I live an hour away and carpool) so it's tough to attend campus events, but I'm moving on campus next year and joining a bunch of clubs is high on my priority list.

For now I guess I'll attempt to make more conversation with classmates.

>>18071148
Usually after trying a few times, it gets a bit frustrating, so it's hard to remain hard.

>>18071416
Yeah, we do fingering, and sometimes I'll do oral too, she'll end up really wet, but it's still difficult to enter. We haven't tried lube.

>>18071712
I mentioned that, but she said she thought being on top would be painful at first

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>>18072128
>if she doesn't react or withdraw
sounds accurate, shit

>>18072142
Sounds like she just went with what turns her on the most/what she enjoys most. Most people grow used to a specific way of kissing and that's the way they do it, it's very personal.

Some people are grossed out by kisses with a lot of tongue and only ever really peck their partner. Personally I love tongue and I would not kiss someone without it for a first kiss because it might feel cute or affectionate but not passionate to me, then I want to get all up in there.

To be fair though she should've kept a close eye on whether you seemed to enjoy her style of kissing.

>>18072149
>>18072174
I mean don't get me wrong, I definitely enjoyed it. Once I got the hang of it I'm pretty sure she enjoyed me on her neck judging by the noises she making.

My coworker who I confessed feelings for told me she wasn't interested in a relationship about 3 months ago. Fast forward to now we are pretty good friends and we recently went hiking. It was just me, her and her roomate. We had a good time, 2 days later I asked her about her roomate. Just how old she was since it didn't come up. She seemed to get offended, saying "Boys try to get with both of us all of the time. Don't be that guy I hate that." I'm 23 Btw, they are 20. Did she react this way because she does actually have feelings for me? Keep in mind I hardly asked anything personal. It's not like I asked if she was single.

>>18072222
>>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
>We're not in their head, we don't know.

Also your problem will sort itself out if you ask her out and make sure the roommate stays home.

>>18072222
Sounds like she's being territorial. Many people are like that regardless of romantic attachment. Eg it's not uncommon to feel a pang of jealousy or being left out if two of your friends who met through you suddenly hang out without you.

It sounds to me like she either has a bit of a hang up with the idea of being the third wheel (now you are her friend, if you got with her roommate that would trump your friendship in importance/depth) or with feeling less attractive than her roommate, or like her and her roommate are considered interchangeable.

It is possible that she has feelings, it is also possible that she's insecure as I mentioned above. I'd keep a close eye on her but not draw any conclusions. And yeah it's fairly insane of her to go there just because you asked her age.

>>18072222
I'm not a girl but dude this is a terrible situation for you to be in.
First of all, you are now and always will be nothing more than a beta orbiter in their eyes. That girl is not interested in you at all and you SHOULD NOT be her friend. She doesn't want a friend. She wants a pet.
Sounds like you have a lot to learn, but you need to ghost her. Seriously, cut all contact.
And don't ever ask females advice about this stuff. These are questions that you need to ask other men.

>>18072164
If I can penetrate a tight anus, you can penetrate a vagina.
Isn't she somehow tightening her vagina unconsciously?

>>18072233
This. Do you think if you were a Chad she would get offended? Grow a pair.

>>18072233
I'm aware of this possibility. Thing is I was a shut in after high school for a good 3 years. I'm pretty normal for someone who's been through that. I don't like male friends. Not sure what it is but almost any dude my age just annoys me. I like this girl and I don't care about the specifics of our relationship as long as there is one. Don't care if that makes me sound pathetic, I think for myself.

>pluck a few eyebrow hairs
>suddenly a big improvement
What magic is this? Thanks, anon (femanon), for encouraging me.

Also, I was scared of becoming a fag, but I'm glad I'm not feeling any urge to suck cocks.

>>18072231
Thanks for the legitimate response.

>>18072263
Come on, man. You're better than that. Have some self respect.
You and I both know that you will never be happy unless you're in a sexual relationship with this girl and I'm here to tell you that it's not going to happen. Ever.
Everything is wrong about this situation. And I hate to be that guy but even the most basic red pill truths would do you a lot of good. Seek out some info on how to not be such a pushover.
It's not about me thinking you're pathetic, I just don't want to see you get hurt. We have all been there. But if you don't rip off the bandaid and learn this lesson hard and fast, then you'll continue to fall on your face and make yourself look like a fool.
Frankly, you sound like an emotional masochist.

>>18072281
>And I hate to be that guy
Protip: talking in earnest about alpha and beta men is a pretty instant giveaway that you think red pill memes capture life.

>>18072281
That last bit made me chuckle. It's complicated. It's fucked. But it's something more than I've had and I'm enjoying it.

Why are girls so uptight about sex?

>>18072264
pics?

>>18072290
They can have it whenever they want, so they can afford to be picky.

>>18072290
When you're in the position of a gatekeeper you'd be picky about who gets through the gate too. I wish I was a hermaphrodite so I could fuck myself and wouldn't have to jump through all kinds of hoops and tests just to get my dick wet.

>>18072290
Because men think they're sluts unworthy of their children if they aren't.

Every man in the world (okay, virtually every man in the world) wants a woman to be frigid towards every random man and a nympho towards him. That's not how it works. Women shutting men down for sex when they do feel like having it is a direct result of men wanting women who have had few partners.

>>18072303
Hahaha what is this nonsense?
Women ARE freaks for men they are genuinely attracted to. Women are hypergamous by nature. They look for objective markers of attractiveness and dismiss at least 90% of men they meet based on their lack of status/looks/whatever. This is why so many men think of women as rude, prude and standoffish.

>>18072325
I wasn't talking about the whole "lady in the streets freak in the sheets" thing. I'm talking about the phenomenon where (some) guys get pissy if a woman doesn't fuck them on the first date, but they don't actually want a girlfriend who has fucked other guys on the first date. Men want women to be sexual but punish them for being sexual at the same time and this makes it the best strategy as a woman (unless you are flat out not attractive and have to take what you can get) to be very picky and only sleep with the men you find most attractive.

>hypergamous by nature
Doesn't really mean anything to me. Unless you are trying to say that men are not on average attracted to women who are hotter/smarter/more talented etc than other women. Everyone loves the top percentage, look at who we want to look at in movies.

>and dismiss at least 90% of men they meet based on their lack of status/looks/whatever
This is bullshit. I've had female friends my whole life, including some gorgeous ones, and have literally never met anyone who felt this way. In fact I find by far most men hot enough to fuck (at least where I live and real obesity is relatively low), provided they flirt with me a bit and seem pleasant all around. Sure it's not solely because of not wanting to get a huge partner count that I don't fuck anyone that moves, but I would fuck LOTS more men of all walks of life if there were no social consequences. But there are. So I have slept with one man, who was of my own height, average looks, and had an average dick. Student with no money.

Stop perpetuating these stupid paranoid world views. Women like men a whole fucking lot more than you might ever realize.

>>18070723
jeez, I hear "it takes two to tango" and then I hear this shit

make up your mind!

>>18072348
Also wanted to add as an afterthought that another reason why (casual) sex is less appealing than for men is because it's typically much less satisfying. They don't get the guaranteed orgasm and typically foreplay and cunnilingus are among the first sex acts to be taken out or downplayed when it's just a one time (or otherwise casual) thing.

I think a lot of people already reach the conclusion at some point in their life that they'd rather have no sex than bad sex, but women typically get there faster because of disappointing experiences even if they are otherwise happy to live it up sexually.

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>>18072348
>Doesn't really mean anything to me. Unless you are trying to say that men are not on average attracted to women who are hotter/smarter/more talented etc than other women. Everyone loves the top percentage, look at who we want to look at in movies.

>>18072380
That would be a nice point if women cared as much about appearance as men do when looking at someone's overall attractiveness, but they don't. There's a reason men fucking love to look at pictures of women and women in comparison barely care about looking at naked men, above average or not. This despite countless attempts from the porn industry to get to that client base.

>>18072389
Sure, but if you take a look at /b/ you'll see that the pics we like to look at aren't always of porn stars (who look fake as fuck btw).

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>>18072389
It's still fucking lopsided and explains why some guys have hard time even with Tinder, the app that is supposed to help the chronic malnutrition in one's sex life.

>>18072293
If you want before and after pics, you're out of luck, because I don't have any before pics. :(

>>18072400
What? I wasn't trying to imply that men don't find normal women hot, I know they do. I'm just implying that women don't really single out male appearance in the same way. They are not judging real life men on it in the same manner, either. Eg for a woman it's more strikingly unattractive if a guy hovers around them nervously than if he's below average in terms of attraction. Women judge men much more by how they carry themselves.

Look at some of the men women find sexy - like Benedict whatever his ridiculous last name is. Yeah he's famous and rich but so are countless normal looking men. Women like him because he plays a sexy persona of a brilliant, unique mind.

>>18072403
I will concede that on a dating app appearance matters more than in real life whether to women or to men. But I still think a lot of the reason men have a hard time on tinder is because women are conditioned literally their entire life to turn men down. From their parents wanting them to "value themselves and save their love for someone special" (whereas a teenage son might be encouraged by his dad to sow his wild oats) to the first boyfriend telling her he "knows what guys are like" to hearing other girls get called slut for having sex "too easily" or "too often".

To Western Girls how would you feel if a guy from a conservative country with conservative filial values askes you out? They'd go out with you not expecting sex, completely innocent and chaste and he asks to meet with your family to be familiar with them and asks for your parents blessing. I'm thinking some women would be completely wierded out or even offended by it.

>>18072417
Posted too quickly, still wanted to add that this conscious or subconscious picking up that the right women (be it virtuous women or just quality or self-respecting women, depending on their specific environment) are picky with sex partners (and women among each other encourage this by encouraging each other to feel too good for certain partners) stimulates a kind of entitled attitude of someone wanting to be impressed.

I don't think any girl on tinder is consciously thinking "eh, I don't find this guy hot enough to add him to my track record". I think she's being quick to turn away from him after a corny joke or a lull in the conversation because of an attitude that was forged over the years where she's inclined to reject sex unless persuaded otherwise. And basically has taught herself to get turned off or disinterested at every bad sign, while guys are trying to broaden their range of attraction and overlook things to potentially get laid.

I need to go afk for a while but I'll comment in at most an hour if someone wants to ask or discuss it more.

>>18072432
So what you are basically saying that women do only truly want the top 20-10% of men and if you're not in that category you are more or less fucked?

>>18072380
>think of myself average-above average in terms of looks
>I'm actually way below average in the minds of those where it matters the most

I wish I was gay.

>>18072457
Women care about money dude. Forget about looks.

>>18072459
That would be all fine and dandy if I was wealthy, which I am not.

>>18072464
Then you're screwed.

>>18072475
Well at least I don't have delusions anymore about where I stand looks wise even if they were very small delusions.

>>18072443
No, the example I mentioned was strictly related to casual sex where they get nothing other than a dicking out of it. It's an entirely different world if you're talking about a full relationship.

>>18072535
I have a hard time believing you, because first impressions are very hard to overcome, and a big part of that first impression is physical appeal.

Is there a website I can go to to learn about different sex positions with actual videos?

>>18072548
First of all, relating to how they are looking for "the best" guys - in this case that's not necessarily the hottest guys. Yeah most women would fucking love to fuck a model, but more than anything else a normal girl on a hook up app is looking for a guy who makes her feel both sexy and like he doesn't see her as a fucktoy, who is reasonably funny or intelligent, makes it seem like sex with him is going to be fun for both of them and doesn't seem like he will be a psychopath or pathological clinger in real life. Basically, a guy who gives her no incentive to turn him away, and that's not necessarily someone above average in looks.

Secondly, how much first impressions matter greatly depends on the context. On a date yeah, it might ruin your chances. But in real life many environments where people meet each other, like college or work, offer many different impressions. Have you never experienced suddenly looking at someone with new eyes after they give you a radiant smile, or make a bafflingly thoughtful remark?

Look up "mere exposure effect". Most people wind up falling in love with someone in their direct environment exactly because the way human psychology works is that we like familiar things and people. So the idea that if you don't make a dashing first impression you're done for doesn't really do justice to the reality.

>>18072567
Now what is a shame is that on an app like tinder, you literally only have a picture to speak for you in terms of looks. In real life women are not just going to care about your facial symmetry and whether you have good skin. They will care about whether you have good posture, whether they find your voice sexy, whether your body language is relaxed and confident, whether you smile easily, whether you move in a supple and youthful way. Those are things that don't translate with a picture but make a huge difference for real life attractiveness, even if you stick to looks.

>>18071715
I do view her sexually, but I guess I more so view her romantically first

What looks better in a man: thick or thin lips?

>>18071711
True, I do have other worries, its just that I get overly anxious with her

>>18072587
Personal preference. I guess thin is more masculine but I prefer thick because the first guy I was with had surprisingly thick lips for a man. Also great fun to kiss more cushion-y lips.

>>18072567
I see. Maybe I am not cut out for dating apps.

>mere exposure effect
Never worked for me. I notice this working all around me, but not necessarily for me. Either I am blind to obvious hints (not really possible, I can read people well) or I come off as an overly sarcastic, cynical cunt (very likely).

Main reason I am nitpicking and whining about all your valid points (sorry for that) is that I feel like everyone else is having fun on the great sea of love with their yachts, but I don't even own a rowboat. Or maybe I own a very leaky one without oars, since I've been on a few dates that never amounted to anything, one very dysfunctional relationship and two one night stands. It's also getting late and I get more and more sentimental the more the night advances.

>>18072567
So you do concede that if you are not in top 20-10% you will have to "prove" your worth when that guy up there in the top 10% can just do his thing without worry in the world?

>>18072610
It's definitely not for everyone. I feel like the guys most cut out for these apps are the kind of thick skinned, relaxed guys who can easily shrug or laugh it off if they get a bitchy reply. Guys who are very invested in the impression they make are all the more likely to come across as "off" in their sense of humor or another manner of conversing, while most of those girls are trying to find "just a normal, nice" guy.

No problem. I know this might be a thought you've had or been told a million times, but it really is true that you cannot see behind other people's image. I mentioned a couple of posts back that social stigma wasn't the only reason I wasn't living it up sexually; it's too much of a backstory to detail quickly but basically it is hard for me to open up to someone and so far I've only really managed once. I am slender and cute and take pride in my own clothing style, I make eye contact and can even chat and low key flirt with strangers - if you saw me outside there is no way that you would ever guess I haven't been touched in three years. And I can assure you that after a nice sunny day sometimes playing eye contact games with random people, coming home to myself and then doing my same night routine as every night I feel more like I am stepping down into my grave than that I'm lying down in bed. It doesn't help that internet makes it seem like most men think women over twenty five are a waste of time, so there's that little nagging voice that goes "you will only grow older, you will never look prettier conventionally than now and you're just whithering away here because of your issues with connecting".

I'm not saying this so you can feel sorry for me, at all, there are many people in my position who are capable of trying much much harder and still fail. I am just saying it to give at least a single real glimpse, as opposed to the theory, of other people's issues.

>>18072662
If you're "freak of nature beautiful" then most people will forget about their other standards, yeah. This applies to men and women alike. But it's relevant to hardly anyone at all and most people will initially flock to you, but that doesn't mean they will stay around after overcoming the first wow factor of your looks and experiencing the reality of being your (sex) partner.

>>18072665
And on the flip side, I have many friends who have dated more, have had casual sex, and have their own issues both related to that and irrelevant to that. It doesn't take much for a couple to look happy and enviable walking hands on the street. That doesn't mean the relationship itself is enviable, just what they represent in that moment.

If you have a hard time finding women interested in you my #1 advice would always be to go to a crowd where you have an extra edge. For example, if you are well read and enthusiastic about literature, going to a hip reading circle (or events related to slam poetry, that gets pretty young audiences) you maximize your attractiveness there. If you don't look hot enough (like most people) to turn heads just walking around, make sure to seek out places where you can also impress by sharing your thoughts.
Dancing classes (clamfests usually, and once you are comfortable with touching each other talking otherwise becomes a lot easier as well), any course where you will be expected to pair up, political youth events, free music concerts around town, volunteering (especially with animals) etc are ways to meet women where you get more than that second impression, and already have two things in common from the get go: your mutual interest and the fact that you now share experiences you went through together, even if that just means you can bitch about the organization or the entrance fee. It's something to bond over.
More important than any of these is that any girl meeting you will see you as "just a guy" - which is what you want, you don't instantly want to be bookmarked in her head as an interested suitor like you will at tinder. Keep your mystery. Make her work for your interest. That's also what flirting is ultimately about: hinting attraction but not showing your cards right away. Girls are attracted to guys who seem to be doing their own thing, to which they are a welcome addition, not drop everything for her.

>>18072665
>I know this might be a thought you've had or been told a million times, but it really is true that you cannot see behind other people's image.

No, it hasn't, because I don't talk about my problems, very rarely does the burden become too great and then my best friend gets to see me tear up and whine about the same old shit I whined about last time. Also I didn't mean "reading people well" that I know what they are doing with their life, I can just read their emotional state.

I am just a very competitive guy at heart and I feel like I am losing in the game of life when people off-handedly talk about their happy relationships or number of women they've fucked. I'm left feeling I'm competing either with a handicap or that I'm just naturally a loser in this aspect of life, when I do averagely or better than other people in most other things.

>>18072695
Let's entertain the thought that I do enlist on a dance course, for example. I'd probably learn to dance better since I'm a quick learner, but then I'd have to overcome my anxiety (sidenote: I often feel like I'm "different" from other people or that I live in a "bubble" that separates me from them) and ask the partner out after the course ends. I do, she declines, and I'm left feeling like a dumbass and I've now ruined the dance club for both of us while painting myself as a thirsty faggot who only joined to get women.

The bit about my best friend hearing a big tirade of pointless whining and negativity? You just got a glimpse of it. Thank you for your advice though, I appreciate it.

>>18072665
>I am just saying it to give at least a single real glimpse, as opposed to the theory, of other people's issues.
And you are right to do so, I feel embarrassed for venting like a retard at you.

>>18072765
I get feeling like you are behind, but at the end of the day no one dies happy because they stuck it to anyone else or because they were #1 or whatever. People die happy reliving their memories or thinking of what they overcame and experienced in their life, and that's something that is personal and others are irrelevant to.

These things won't always seem like this big of a deal. If you have a thriving love or sex life then whether or not you always had will feel like what marks you had in high school when you're blossoming academically in college - except when you still let it define your self confidence and your perception of who you are. And again it is easy to be starstruck by what you don't have. As a woman I hear the stories of my friends about bluntly pushing a guy off and telling him they're done for because he's hammering away at them without listening to cues, or having him tear up because he thought she liked him more than she did. You bet they didn't go home feeling like The Man who just fucked a hot girl. And you fucking bet that if that friend of mine comes up in conversation, they will go "oh yeah her, I fucked her" to their friends and not expand on the actual experience. Both sex and love lives are messy. Happy relationships are great to have under your belt, but being broken up with or forced to break up with someone you deeply love is fucking brutal. And again, if you see her pop up on facebook with her new boyfriend, no sane guy is going to think "yeah okay she now loves this other guy who is better than me in x way BUT we had a happy relationship so yay". It can take people years to not feel a pang when hearing their name unexpectedly.

>>18072812
If all this is too unfamiliar for you to really imagine, take a practical approach: if you are going to turn around your life some day and be happier than you are now (which is quite likely), you probably would not want to have wasted time before that despairing, even if it was understandable at the time. Just like you are probably thinking now that you should've been less eager to grow up as a child, there is a huge chance that one day you do have a career and steady partner and look back on this period in your life as free and youthful. It's a hard perspective to maintain while you're in the middle of it, but try to keep the thought in the back of your head.

As for the dancing scenario, overcoming anxiety is an absolute plus, it heightens people's self respect if they do stuff out of their comfort zone and if you interact more with unfamiliar people you WILL grow less sensitive to those little pangs of feeling like that joke you just made wasn't funny, or that silence lasted a little too long, or someone side-eyed you. Simply because you have a lot more different experiences to put it in perspective, and have experienced being on the other side and seeing someone fumble a bit and giving zero fucks.
It is likely that you do live in a bubble somewhat, but it is mostly caused because you are constantly analyzing the things you are doing or getting caught up in your head, which makes it harder to really give yourself in contact with others, because you are essentially doing too highly demanding things at once.

If you have a dance partner, you will know whether or not she likes you, because there's lots of moments to make a little joke, because you have to respond to her missing a step or smooth over stepping on her feet.

>>18072826
You will know whether you have some goodwill with her and whether there's chemistry (lots of/prolonged eye contact, smiling, her instantly looking at you if something interesting/funny/weird happens, leaning in to you with her body language, fidgeting, blushing, dressing up nicely every time). If you get along easily, chances are you can naturally spend the in between break together (that's usually too short to do much anyway). If not, you can innocently ask her to go to an open dance type of night (no idea whether that's what it's named but I bet you know what I mean, just free dancing without instructions) because you'd like to give it a whirl without following explicit steps. If you are already talking to her in a lull and she responds enthusiastically to a plan you tell her, you can tell her she's welcome to join you.
Basically, there's lots of ways you can start spending one on one time without explicitly asking her out on a date right away. Inb4 friendzone, you don't want this phase to really last, it's just transitioning from having to interact to interacting by choice.

And honestly, I think that's some faulty reasoning. Are you a dumbass for not being able to read her mind and already know she's not interested? Or are you a dumbass for going after something you want and not keeping your head down to avoid risk? And what kind of bitch is she if she thinks you are a thirsty faggot because you developed a soft spot for her? That's really judgmental and mean.

>>18072798
No problem.

>>18072567

It's kind of crazy how I did almost all of the above with the girl I liked and she turned me down.