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So I met this girl or should I say woman (she's 32) two months ago on okc. Shes kind of amazing and everything ive ever dreamed of. Shes beautiful, wants a lot of sex, reminds me how much she likes me all the time and texts me constantly about how she misses me, and cant wait til the next time we can be together. She's a dream come true for me and i cant believe i met her on a shitty dating site like okc. i never expected i would find the perfect girl for me and so easily but it's happening and its surreal.
We both have kids but here's the thing that sucks. Her son's dad is dead and he's only two. She was upfront with me about how she's been grieving his death since it happened two years ago, right after the kid was born. There's posts on her fb from the past two years clearly showing it took her a long time to get over his death, and the dead day's family is a big part of her and the kid's lives.
The worst part is she's been talking about the kid to me a lot and how she wants me to meet him and sending me pics of him and everything. She hasn't met my daughter yet, but I've tried to make it clear that I've got my own parental responsibility but at the same time there's something telling me that its an important thing that she's looking for in the relationship. I don't want to be this kids dad, and that's what it would be if things got serious because I would be the kids only father figure. I don't know what to do because I'm in love with her, but I don't know if I want to take all that on. For one thing the dead dads family are the opposite of me. They are rich and super religious and kind of stuck up according to her so they're going to hate me. I also fear meeting her family for a lot of the same reasons.
Am I over thinking or getting ahead of things? Maybe she doesn't want me to replace the dead dad but its really starting to feel that way.
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>>18068682
>my wife's son
stopped reading there
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>>18068701
That doesn't count when the dad is dead. Plus I have a kid too, so not a cuck.
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>>18068704
She has a legit excuse. Whats yours for having a kid and being single?
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>>18068718
My kids mom whomwas with me for ten years cheated on me with guys she met online. I found out about it four months ago and here I am today in a relationship that starting to get serious with someone I met online. Irony aside, I feel like I'm making the same life changing mistakes because I fell in love with someone right away all over again. I just hope I got it right this time and I'm not gonna get fucked over by a lying cheating whore again.
The question is should i get my head out of the clouds and look at what's happening to me from a different angle other than "I'm so glad I found the perfect match and were falling love". The kid thing could be a deal breaker. Should I wait and see what she expects from me? I'm worried that it'll be too late by then though and I'll want to stay with her even though I don't want to be the kids dad.
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>>18068704
>Plus I have a kid too, so not a cuck.
So petty how this site cares about how strangers think of them
>a-a-t least I'm not a c-c-cuck right guise?
Either you want to be with the woman or you don't. She happens to have a son and a whole bag of issues that tag along that you don't know about from 2 months of socializing. Either suck it up and do it or stop making stupid threads on here pussy-footing around seeking validation that you're not a buzzword that's been blown out of proportion by teenagers.
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Is dating online a fucktarded idea for 19-year-olds such as myself? It seems like younger people are a lot more shitty than older people and this thread kinda makes me realize the clear line between seriously looking for friends and shitting out pretend accounts just to brag about who messaged you. Girls my age just don't give a fuck about my account even though it's decent. You're around 30 aren't you? how long did it take for you to get close to anyone on OkC?
I've shot plenty of girls a single message waiting for them to get back to me and it's been weeks now. No girl wants to even visit my fucking account and I couldn't tell you why. Are you only looking for the "perfect" guy? it fucking pisses me off that this is probably the case. Western dating is fucking disgusting.
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>>18069315
You are absolutely correct in assuming that. The reason is that dating sites are populated by two types of female: social media obsessed attention whore girls who get off on the fact that there are a ton of "hot guys" lined up to be with them so they can fuck them and then purposely be a whore so they can move n to the next guy once they're bored with you.. Then there's women with years of dating experience but baggage (hence why they have to go to dating sites).
I'm 29 so yeah, it's easier when you're closer to their age but I don't act my age and I think that's one of the things she likes about me so who knows maybe a younger guy could find a mature woman as well. You are just going to need to lower your standards a notch or two, and be willing to accept the baggage and emotional hang ups. There are decent women on okc but if you're not the perfect suitor then forget about all the 9s and 10s its just not gonna happen. You don't want that for a relationship anyway. Those types always get bored with imperfect guys, so look for an imperfect woman. The one I'm with is attractive but a little chubby and has the kid but I'm not the greatest dude in the world either.
It didnt take long at all for me to find someone. As a matter of fact she's the first person I've dated who I met online and it only took a little over a month of checking the oky matches and occasionally sending a message to someone I was interested in. The key i think is creating the right bait for a first impression. Send her a unique and creative opening message. Comment on something in her profile and make it clear thats why you're interested. Avoid commenting on the way she looks because that's boring and she's going to have a ton of other similar messages. And be specific, don't just say "you seem chill" or "whoa you like video games too?" Or something lame like that. Women like intelligent guys so come up with something clever.
Go for a genuine woman, that's what you want. Good luck!
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