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Anonymous
Keep blaming parents, want to stop 2017-02-20 09:11:48 Post No. 18067393
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Keep blaming parents, want to stop 2017-02-20 09:11:48 Post No. 18067393
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My Mom was something else... she loved me in her own way, but she was a helicopter Mom who would shove me into walls and scream in my face for shit I did. One day I didn't want to dress up for Keeley Cowboy Day so she pinned me against a wall and nearly ate my face off. Shit like that was always happening, and I think it fucked me up emotionally.
I had a really good head on my shoulders when I was younger. I'd say better than most if I'm being honest. I was a very rational, deliberate decision-maker, and had gone pro at socializing. My Mom was still a royal bitch though, and was always berating me and putting me down, and occasionally flying off the handle (screaming, cursing, spitting mad, getting in my face). She would claim she was loving, caring, affectionate, and patient, but that's total bullshit lol. To be fair, she did and does love me in her own way.
Anyway, I ended up getting really fucking depressed after high school. I lost direction. I would lay on the couch all day, with no motivation or energy to do anything. Then, I made the most horrible decision in my life- I turned to drugs. It helped immensely at first, obviously, but like every other addict's story it all blew up in my face.
I'm clean now, years later, but I really feel like if I wasn't emotionally abused I would have made the correct decision and not turned to dope. Basically, in a way, I kind of blame her. I feel like if she had shown me some love and patience, and not had acted like she hated/looked down on me my whole life, things would have been different. This seems childish to me in some way, though I can't pin down exactly why. I mean what's the alternative, that I'm naturally a piece of shit? I don't really buy that, because I started out good, but ended up bad.
I don't know, what do you think?
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>>18067393
Your mum sounds like a cunt so yes you definitely should blame her
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>>18067399
Idk. It seems childish, and I have this sense that it's all my fault. I'm not sure if I'm right about that or not. Nurturing seems to have a significant outcome on people's lives, but at the end of the day, wasn't it their decision to do bad shit?
I'm mixed up about this one.
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>>18067423
If you look at the rates of drug use among those who were abused as a child and those who weren't, you can see that drug use jumps significantly through childhood abuse. It still exists among the non-abused, so maybe you would've turned to drugs anyway. There's no way to know.
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>>18067445
So basically... it's all her fault? Alright, I'm cool with this.
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Should watch the show Shameless.
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Baby boomer parents
>my parents had a huge cocaine problem
Gen-X parents
>my parents had a huge meth problem
Gen-Y parents
>mommy, why are you giving yourself a shot?
>mommy?
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>>18067450
Maybe her parents were shitty to her growing up, so then it's not really her fault, it's your grandparents fault. Or she has an undiagnosed mental disorder that's completely genetic. The way I see, nobody is really at fault - shit just happens sometimes.
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>>18067462
She was physically abused her entire life growing up. Broken ribs, bruised eyes, had to see her mom get thrown through glass doors shit like that. Truly, truly horrible stuff. Its haunted her for her entire life.
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Blaming her won't fix you.
It's been your fault all along, you just never knew better until now.
So, take it as a lesson learned, or one forgotten.
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>>18067491
Nah it's already been established that it's her fault, totally and completely.
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>>18067495
That was between the ages of 0-18.
What you do after that, is your fault, no matter what condition you've been left in.
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>>18067503
SEEMS LIKE A PRETTY AMBIGUOUS NUMBER
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>>18067505
Or you can keep blaming other people, just like she taught you to and never take your own responsibility or action.
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>>18067393
Yes, your mother is responsible for being a shitty parent in a lot of ways, but you have control over your response to this.
I think the rational response to wanting to get out of this situation would have been to decide to get the fuck away from her by figuring out how you can support yourself and getting as far away from her as possible.
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>>18067515
levity aside, a part of her craft is manipulation. Shes treated me and my sisters horribly, but there's always this innate desire to please her. The woman is really good at what she does in a fucked up way.
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