Ending a friendship due to invasive feelings

Do men have feelings too?

>>18065012
Well I definitely do, and that's pretty much the issue here

bump - no input? I'd really appreciate some help

That blows but you just have to suck it up. Cutting the friendship before the course is done is harsh, imo.

>>18065009
Hey there op. I'm in somewhat similar situation as you. I have a really close guy friend at university and we were both dumped and lonely and got really close. Than we kind of slept together and than he told me that he didn't want a new relationship and that he is sorry and that he screwed up. And now we are still friends because we're just too close and lonely. And he is ok with it but i kind of want more than a friendship now..which makes me stupid of course.. So my point is that if you really value your friend you could just try to pretend you feel nothing and i hope that eventually for your sake you really won't.

>>18065742
Yeah it does seem pretty harsh but it's beginning to impact my studies
>>18065796
>So my point is that if you really value your friend you could just try to pretend you feel nothing and i hope that eventually for your sake you really won't.
I've been trying that for a little. I tried hooking up with another girl and it seems to have only made the problem worse. It's hard to remove myself from the feelings too, since we spend so much time together.

>>18065828
I know how that feels and it sucks but I also know that i would miss him so damn much if i end our friendship so i 'd rather torture myself but still be close to him..i'll end the friendship when he starts a new realtionship with someone else probably ..

Just be honest with her. Tell her what is going on. You may think cutting contact without saying anything is bad, but it's much worse than you think. It just leaves them to thinking they did something wrong.

It's pretty much impossible to be friends with someone you have feelings for. It'll be agonizing pain the more it goes on, and all the negative feelings that you are dealing with now will only worsen with time.

I know saying it wont be easy, but it's for the best if you end it now before something bad happens later.

Do not cut contact with her without actually telling her something. Explain to her the situation. You are a human and you have feelings and its not unnatural to feel the way you feel. Don't go full autism and be all "HURR I LOVE YOU BUT WE CAN NEVER BE"

Just be like, "So hey, this is gonna be a bit strange but here's the thing. I think over time I've developed feelings for you, which really wouldn't be a big deal but it's kinda starting to affect me in a way I didn't expect. Anyway, I have way too much respect for you to just ghost you, or try anything shady so I think it might be good for a little while if we just took a break from hanging out as often as we do? I don't wanna make this awkward at all, but I also don't wanna be a huge asshole and just stop speaking to you cause I can't deal, and you deserve more than that."

Christ I realised I just wrote that whole thing. Uhhh...Alright OP do whatevs but I guess that's my advice?

>>18065898
>>18065877
>Do not cut contact with her without actually telling her something
>You may think cutting contact without saying anything is bad, but it's much worse than you think
Oh no, that was never my intention. If I was going to cut it off I would explain the whole situation to her.
And yeah, I'd definitely avoid sperging out. The one thing I'm kind of afraid of is that I'll cry, since I do that shit any time I feel any kind of strong emotion even if I'm otherwise composed.
>I know saying it wont be easy, but it's for the best if you end it now before something bad happens later.
Yep, seems like that's the only thing I can do.

>>18065843
>I know how that feels and it sucks but I also know that i would miss him so damn much if i end our friendship so i 'd rather torture myself but still be close to him
That's the feeling I'm fighting right now. It's like I need to get away but I can't
>i'll end the friendship when he starts a new realtionship with someone else probably
That's where our situations differ. She's been with this guy the whole time I've known her, and I'm still sticking around even after I've developed these strong feelings