Losing Faith in Love

>>18064941
Like me and her we share a conncetion, we are gamers, we watch anime, we have the same humor and all that stuff. We make each other laugh and help each other out. I just am not attractive enough to her standards so she doesn't consider me anything past a friend. It makes me wonder if love is just how you look because im pretty sure if not entirely that if I was better looking and more attractive she would be saying im her soulmate. Is that what love is based on? Just how you look?

>>18064942
Yes thats true

Life isnt fair

>>18064952
I think im starting to learn that a little too late lol Hopefully i can fix myself and not miss another chance if im lucky enough to get another one

>>18064942
>Is that what love is based on? Just how you look?

No, but physical attraction can be a large part of starting the attraction process. And why wouldn't it be? You can tell a lot about someone by their physical appearance.

Your idea about love and someone else's are not necessarily going to be the same. I would suggest figuring out what love means to you and what you want in a partner, and then trying to find someone who shares your values and finds in you what she wants in a partner.

And if you're aware that physical appearance is valued, why not spend time working on improving yours?

>>18064988
I am working on myself but its gonna take a long time, I just got confused with her concept of love and I will be completly honest I am jealous of him because just by looks alone he took her and made her blinded when I sit her with all things in common with her but wasnt good enough to get her.

>>18065008
Why does it confuse you that someone would have a different value system than you do, or different thoughts on what "love" means?

Why does "Well, I think things should be this way, and they're not, thus I'm confused" make sense to you?

Shouldn't you be concluding "hmm, well, things are not the way I think they should be, maybe I should try to reconcile my wishful thinking with reality."

At the very least, if you want someone who will love you for the characteristics you think you bring, then doesn't it seem obvious that you'll probably need to find that from a different person?

I think you are also assuming that the qualities that are "lovable" in someone are also the only qualities that must be present in order to form and maintain a stable romantic relationship. The example of this girl should tell you that they clearly aren't.

Being conventionally good looking will increase the chances of being found attractive by someone you're also attracted to, but it's not mandatory. You're much, much, less likely to find that though if you fixate on someone you already know is not interested in you.

I can also state with some confidence that she didn't fall in love with him based solely on his appearance. There's only so much you can just sit there looking at someone before you get bored.

>>18065136
But when you think soulmate do you think connection or good looks? I can understand attraction but to say he is the one and her soulmate and have decently little in common? I just dont get it. But like you said it could just be her.

>>18065160
So she told you that their only connection was based on being physically attracted to him? Or are you making that assumption because you're bitter that she picked someone over you and you know she's not physically attracted to you?

She obviously thought he was someone that he wasn't. It's foolish to make assumptions about someone you don't know very well, but hey, what if this had turned out differently? What if he had turned out to be a good guy who was crazy about her.

Would you still be "confused"?

What does it matter to you what she's looking for, when you already know it's not you. If you want a relationship with someone, go find someone who returns your interest.

>>18064941
>>18064942
Men and women have a different outlook on love

Your story is interesting to me because I had a nerdy gamer girl latch onto me and would say she loved me and that she thought I was her soulmate and such.
DESU it started to disgust me because I hardly knew her and for her to say she loved me when she hardly knew who I was aggravated me a lot. Because I kinda had a similar outlook to you. I think she just liked me because I drive a fancy car, wear fancy clothes, and take care of myself. Because she would always compliment these things.
So yeah, women are more materialistic about the whole thing. But you gotta realize this and use it to your advantage. Get fit and dress nice.

The worst part of it is that she had a male friend like you that knew her for awhile and watched anime with her. She even fucking introduced me to him, which kinda angered me even more because he was way more her speed and I wasn't interested in her. I thought they would be good together.

I ended up starting to treat her like shit so she would leave me alone, but this had the opposite affect. Which aggravated me even more. I cut contact with her completely and managed to ditch her. How she acted still disgusts me to this day, but it was enlightening.

Never date gamer girls, my dudes. Never even hang out with them either, its a mistake.