Fell for someone way out of my league?

>>18064305

First of all, you are 18+, right? This sounds like high school drama, but to be fair, I know actual 20-somethings that behave this exact way.

>I never wanted to love anyone

How long has this been going on?

>>18064322
yea, I am. He is too. He literally just messaged me saying I'm too young, though there's a year's difference in us.
Is it because I don't respond to his dick jokes?

Since i broke up with my last boyfriend. Had enough of that bullshit. Besides, nobody I met, even though I went to parties and made an effort to socialize, nobody really interested me.

I've been very passive in my feelings to anyone which is why this is weird.

Holy fuck! Are you my ex-girlfriend or what? That's almost the same way we met, and she had the same self-esteem issues I was never aware of.

Don't beat yourself up. He's interested in you, either sexually or romantically. Believe it, and take it (very deep). And stop thinking in "leagues", 'tis ain't a monarchy. We are all people, some make and perfect impression superficially, but beneath there's always some shit to dig up. Stay grounded.

And your jealous friend, well, guess he wanteds to fuck you but is mad for not making any moves. Happens, we can't always get what we want.

>>18064339

Yeah, you wrote a lot to not answer my question. I don't care for your exact age, but I did want to know how long you two have been having this "online relationship" and how long you have been "in love".

>>18064305

You're not in love, you're infatuated and it seems like he's already treating you like shit. Move on, get over it and focus on meeting someone in real life.

>>18064340
Why did you guys break up? Maybe I could prepare myself for shit.
Though I'm sure he guesses of my self esteem issues.

He says he's interested, he's really sweet to me. And I'm just. I don't really want to fall in love because something is nagging me and telling me I will never deserve him.

His friend did say I'm pretty. But he fucked up the squad pretty bad, like. He started leaving groups and interrogating my love interest and whatever.
I never ever wanted to cause such trouble, especially since we really havent known each other that muchhh. It's a terrible first impression. I don't want to be associated with drama.

>>18064345
Oh sorry anon, the way you put it made it seem like you were asking me how long I didn't want to love anyone, not how long I was in love with the guy.
We're not really going out, anon, I'm not a fan of LDR and we don't know each other THAT well - which is why I said I've never fallen for someone this fast. I've known him for about 2 weeks, it's nothing at all. I understand how crazy it is. I don't understand why I reacted this way to him.

>>18064372
>I don't understand why I reacted this way to him.

Lonelyness, rebound, boredom, etc. There are plenty of reasons to "fall" for someone so fast. None of them are good.

And I concur with Anon above, this is a "crush", just infatuation. This is not love. You "love" a guy you don't know, that only likes your voice, and that makes you feel like you don't measure up? No, you don't love him.

Work on whatever drove you to feel this way. Meet real guys, hang out, have fun, and enjoy yourself instead of pinning over a dude that lives far away and that sounds like a dipshit.

>>18064370
Not going to try to justify him or anything, but I'm a big overthinker on everything. We spent all day talking today but not nonstop, which is what we did the first few days. That's what I mean by less interest. If i don't respond to him, he will send me another message, and he seems actively to be looking to talk.. Just not as fiercly as before. Which in a way is natural I suppose. I'm just an overthinker and it's only been from today, after the "drama" happened.
I admit that yes maybe I may be infatuated, but I'm really not one to be infatuated for no reason or easily.
And what really sucks is I hate LDRs, so I literally went out to parties and social places to try to meet people to befriend or find an even further interest in. Plenty were interested in me, but I couldn't click with anyone.
Him, christ. I don't know.

>>18064380

Mm, >>18064386 sums it up pretty well. Maybe I wrote him out as worse than he really is.
He seems. Really attached. He won't not care if I cut contact with him and he expects me to keep being myself, which is talking to him. idk how to explain it.

What do you mean, work on whatever drove me to feel this way? I don't know? Cute guy with a noble profession that makes me laugh and smile and just seems amazing.
I don't understand what conclusion I am to draw from this.

>>18064400
>Cute guy with a noble profession that makes me laugh and smile and just seems amazing.

Did you mention the proffesion? All I see is that he play video games, likes your voice, and that "he usually holds very very high expectations of people".

>What do you mean, work on whatever drove me to feel this way?

Work on whatever made you develop this crush in two weeks. Remember I asked for your age earlier? Well, 15 year-olds can be talking like you are. But you are too old to keep up this shit after you leave high school. Actually meet people and don't hide behind the screen.

>>18064411
He's studying to be a paramedic.
I tried to meet people, which is why it's so frustrating. I'm not a social person yet I went out, after my ex and I broke up, I went out so many times to parties and met so many people, I had fun but I didn't click with anyone! Yes they were interesting, I was interested to talk, but there was so feeling. Like. Argh how to explain.
And it's not fair that he has to live far away yet be so goddamn cool. He's so good at the game too, such a high rank. I'm just a rank below him though, hehe.

>>18064423

You know what? Do it. Ask him out, call him, meet him, whatever.

We keep going back to your ex and you are obviously dealing with a crush. This might be your way of grieving that relationship. Good luck OP.

Only thing I don't like is how your first post doesn't really show you being happy with him. But whatever. Maybe you need to get fed up with him to actually move on and look for a real relationship instead of a proxy in a screen.

>>18064441
>>18064441
Well. I already confessed, and he said he's always wanted a girl like me whatever whatever. But we didn't talk farther than that because I told him I don't like ldr and then shyed out of the topic.
We did call. We will meet, he plans on coming here in the summer, because coincidentally someone in our squad lives like 50 km from me and theyre good bros.
I really don't like ldr, though... Maybe after he visits we can decide, and while I hope we keep talking, it's still a long way really.

My relationship ended nearly a year ago already and I really have no feelins for that guy anymore, but its nice to feel..something. I've been completely apathetic for a year.

I'm not sure if I'm happy with him or not. Though. I'm pretty sure it's just me that's causing the issues, over thinking, and not him, since he's done everything to keep me happy. He even was the one to comfort me when the drama started because I was kind of freaking out and apologising for so long because I didn't want to cause him problems.

>>18064372
Hey, I'm the guy from >>18064340

It is a long story. Here a list of the core problems (it was a LDR, like it was in your case):

>she had heavy self-esteem issues since she always compared herself to me
>was therefore very afraid to come out of herself
>lied about differentiating views and opinions
>therefore avoiding all kinds of confrontation
>all came to a snowball effect
>I am naive and never considered her lying
>I have little to no empathy to people who don't have the same complexes
>this led to extreme dullness
>when I found out how much was truth and what not I wanted to work on the problem
>she offered to make a break of one to two months
>when I drove home she couldn't take it and broke up with me

Eh, it was a unstable foundation to begin with, but with more self-confidence on her side we could've made it stable.

As long as you don't delude yourself about how he is Mr Perfect you'll be okay. But as far as I can see, you should become more grounded before meeting him (or in the process of your relation).

Oh man, your friend is terribly jealous. He's afraid of losing you. I can't help on this one. He'll probably torment himself further on continuing your friendship or he will temper through it.

>>18064528
Oh, what I forgot to mention:

>she never initiated anything
>never called
>never initialized sex (even though she was horny quite frequently)
>never spoke about her problems, therefore ignored me, treated me coldly
>I endured a lot of emotional torture because of that
>she didn't consider her actions have actually consequences (upon others, e.g. me)

Men want to know they're loved too, no matter if you say it. SHOW IT!

>>18064528
Ah, thanks for this.
So in a nutshell, all I really have to do is communicate clearly and be more confident in myself? I can do that, ez
No offence op but that girl sounss like she has a lot of mental issues, wont ever be happy unless she decides to change herself. Sorry you had to be abused

>>18064636
Ha, don't sweat it. It was a generally stupid part of my life where I made way too many rationalizations for my own good. I just wanted to get my dick wet by all means neccessary.
Do I regret it? Holy fuck, yes. I think it damaged me quite a lot. At least I learned it was a huge mistake, and other folks can at least benefit from my idiocy through advice.

Yeah, that's all you need to do. It's just basic life advice really. If you are honest and confident with yourself, then there are a lot of things in life that will be incredibly easy to handle, e.g. your current not yet relationship.

>>18064636
What I also forgot: Have confidence in criticizng him. There WILL be things to dislike about him, acknowledge them and produce a character profile (mentally speaking), his pro 'n cons where the sum of his traits make him to one of the brighter shades of gray.

If there is a mid- to high-tier red flag, don't be afraid to talk about. Communication solves problems, or will at least explain character shortcomings.

Nobody's perfect but a lot try to come off as such.

>>18064758
Well.. at times he seems a tad full of himself. And there's his English, which isn't perfect, so he misunderstands my use of expressions or what I'm saying at time.
But I consider myself a fairly tolerant person so I don't mind much.

What is a red flag? I don't even know.

>>18065717
Do you mean what a red flag is or what makes one?
A red flag is basically a character trait which can damage the people around the host (of the red flag).
Therefore, it varies and depends on the context what makes a red flag. A common red flag is when someone pushes constantly or disrespects your personal boundaries.

That he is full of himself is pratically harmless, but if he pushes an image of himself that he is, for example, oh so noble for working in a medical field and should be praised for it, then it's a bad sign.

As long as he is willing to improve his English, then it's alright. Because if not, there might come a lot of misunderstandings.

I know how it feels to fall for someone much, much better than you. Seriously the worst feeling, especially when you are always around them and so you cant just get over it. This fucking girl I was into, easily a 9/10, probably most attractive girl I have ever seen and she was also very smart (although rather childish/ tumblrcore in her media consumption). Over and over again I went through feeling amazing whenever she was around and like utter shit when she was gone. Eventually she left, and I had said nothing to her because whenever I wanted to I realised how fucking amazing she was compared to me and just froze up.
I don't think its gotten better quite yet. I hope I'll forget soon now that shes gone.

>>18064305
can I hear your voice?
also dota2 ? kek

>>18064305
Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Date someone else

>>18066352
No, hes not really like that. He only mentioned it casually. And he doesn't have a problem with his English. But more and more I have the impression that he's uninterested, today he's seemed super distracted to talk and replies in forever. Am I over thinking? Probably desu. Going to see if this keeps up. Can't judge yet lol.

>>18066360
Fucking sucks dude :/ the feels when you're just average for this amazing person.

>>18066367
I sound like budget Nyanners basically from what I've been told. I really hate it and get teased so much for it but he loves it for some reason.
Overwatch. I'm dia, he's master.

>>18066368
I'm not even dating him. but nobody irl interests me! I went out, I tried. I tried to make friends and socialise but nobody gave me the spark he did.

>>18066399
Oh god ew op here why tf did it autocorrect it to desu.

>>18066404
go to vocaroo and read something sexy for me?

>>18066421
No?

>>18066407
You haven't met enough guys.

Guys like him obviously exist in society. They're uncommon, but if this one in particular is not interested in you, then your only option is to move on and look for someone who you like who also likes you back.

It'a obviously not going to happen with this guy, since he knows how you feel and has not returned your feelings.

Your best bet in getting over him is to cut contact for a while. Say to him "hi! I'' sorry to do this because it's rude- but I need to have a month or two where I don't interact with you at all so I can get over my feelings for you. I'd be interested in continuing our friendship afterwards, but if I don't do this now I'm going to continue to crush on you. I hope you understand"

>>18064305
>i am interested in you
>you say you're interested in me
>your actions and words do not match
Yeah, no shit he's hurt
Why can't you just be truthful? Why lie?

It's one thing if you just ended up damaging yourself but you've gone and fucked with some innocent person who was reaching out to you

>>18066445
The problem with him. Well.
He says he's interested. He says he's attracted and flirts a lot and describes me in the sweetest ways. He does spend a lot of time with me. Relatively.
He makes an effort to talk and reach out to me but it kind of seems half added? I dont know.

He's also very possessive. The reason I even told him that I was interested in him and distanced myself because of this was because he.. he wrote me a 4 page rant about being disappointed in people and how he felt that he'd given me a lot of care but now I was distancing myself and he felt used yatta yatta. Hes very emotional, very very sensitive.

I dont know if he's manipulating or what.

>>18066467
He's just telling you what men usually bottle up or tell a friend when a woman fucks with us. He does sound way out of your league desu. You should suck his dick.

>>18066465
I don't understand anon. What did I lie about? I've been showing him insane interest and doing everything I can to show him I'm interested, which I shouldn't even do.. I'm becoming too attached. Yea I distanced myself before I told him, not after. What?

>>18066477
why would you distance yourself from someone you allegedly desperately desire?

that's stupid and most people would (should?) drop you in a heartbeat for pulling that horseshit

>>18066399

This person probably isn't that amazing though, you're putting him on a pedestal based on a couple of things you're impressed by. It sounds like hard-core infatuation.

I knew somebody on the Internet for around seven years. We spoke almost every day and although we were friends foremost, I always had a bit of a crush on him.

Our paths eventually crossed in real life and meeting him, spending time with him, was hugely different from how I had perceived him to be through the Internet. Luckily for me, I still fell head over heels for him, but even with years of knowing him online including all his worse traits and secrets, it was still totally different in real life. At no point did

You can't gauge your suitability for another person through the Internet, never mind over a few weeks or months. Online, people have time to write a response, they can create a persona which is attractive to others and hide their flaws. Sure, you can work out if you have things in common and go from there but in no way, shape or form are you anything other than infatuated with this guy. It sounds so ridiculous.

You sound like you're setting yourself up for disappointment and there are way too many hurdles in place already. My advice would be separate yourself from him and stop treating him like some amazing God.

>>18066482

Also

>possessive
>of someone he has known a couple of weeks over the Internet

HUGE red flag. Literally the biggest one going.

>>18066470
..what?

>>18066481
Because I didn't think he felt the same way, he didn't make it seem like it really aside from occasional flirting. I distanced myself to not be hurt, to literally follow the advice of a lot of the anons in this thread. I didn't know how he felt until he wrote me a 4 page rant.

>>18066482
Yea, so did I. It's not my first time befriending someone on the internet, and I've met plenty of my friends irl so. I know how it is. I know I may very likely be disappointed.

We do have things in common. So much. Our tastes in music, in games, in styles, in relationships.. heh. Our past too is very similar. We both love dogs way too much and want a very similar life, and he says he adores me for how similar we are.

>>18066484
Is it? I mean I was distancing myself

Okay guys OP here, I'm getting increasingly nervous to talk to him. I don't know what about. Though we have so much in common, I'm over thinking and can't be free and idk freaking out over talking to him?

guys fall for women that are out of their league a lot
you dont choose who you "like" it just happens
best thing you can do is say it and hope for the best

>>18066838
does liquor loosen you up?
probably shitty advice but it's a start

>>18067004
No, I don't drink

>>18066992
Well.. I don't know. When someone this hot comes along and you like em.. I didn't even have anything but his voice to go off when I started liking him! Why? Does he have to be? Hot??

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11KB, 225x225px

>he showed insane interest in me in the start
>asked for my phone number almost instantly
pic mfw

Okay, first of all let me apologize for what you just read. Secondly, your little lover-boy there and his friend both seem kind of douche-y. Thirdly, let me apologize for being so judgemental. It's easy to judge.

Fourthly, here's the meat on the bones that I have to offer: he seems to have a lack of empathy. If this is a trait that you want with your partner and you feel that it is dependent on keeping your relationship alive then you may want to reconsider this man. Seems rough but trust me, you'll find another guy who you'll think is equally amazing. There are about 7.4 billion people so I think I can say that with some confidence.

>>18067303
I should have gone into detail with that first bit. My point was that you'll receive the same treatment from about 80% of all guys on the internet -- more specifically: gamers.

>>18067303
I'm sorry but I literally don't follow. Why does he lack empathy? His friend is crazy yea but...