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Anonymous
Friend getting isolated 2017-02-19 04:01:19 Post No. 18062380
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Friend getting isolated 2017-02-19 04:01:19 Post No. 18062380
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I have a friend who has been gradually cutting more and more people out of his life in order to trim the fat, negativity, etc., and just strip things down to the basics. This culminated in him deleting his Facebook and making a new one, to which he invited only a minute few people. A mutual friend has not made the cut, probably because of his link to someone who's been a source of drama, and he tried to publicly address this. So this is becoming awkward.
I've voiced my disagreement with these methods to this friend, but he has his reasons and I understand them. Yet I see it being a source of some alienation to others. People keep asking me about him because they haven't heard from him at all. Even the people still in his circle haven't seen him in a while. I'm the only one. He's openly talked about plans we have had for get-togethers, but so much time has gone by without him making appearances or explaining to others what is going on with his life that I imagine it will be incredibly awkward and unpredictable. When I do see him he seems perfectly fine. He has a girlfriend so he's not alone.
Should I just let him do his thing, or should I keep addressing what I disagree with?
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Does it bother you simply because it's becoming awkward for you or does it bother you because you're worried for his safety?
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>>18063424
It bothers me because I worry that others will eventually abandon him and he will be all alone.
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>>18063541
I see. You can't control people Anon. He's not alone since you're still his friend. You've mentioned he has his reasons for cutting certain apoplectic out of his life. Sounds serious. Respect him and still be there for him.
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>>18063541
Have you voiced that concern to him? If you have and he doesn't care, it's his business.
He's making his own rough path, let him be the one to dirty up his shoes and clean them himself.
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>>18063548
I have, but not excessively, because I know the more I do it, the more overbearing I will seem and potentially push him away.
I guess in a way I am worried about how our mutual friends perceive him.
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>>18063557
You sound like you care a lot about your friends, it's a great quality to have and your friends are very blessed to have you- unfortunately your friend isn't on the same wavelength when it comes to valuing friendships, which is unfortunate.
I understand that you don't want to hammer it in, but sometimes picking powerful points and using less words drives the point home and feels less like nagging. Leave it simply at;
"You're pushing friends away and hurting some in the process. You may not feel as justified after you realise how difficult it can be to repair those bonds."
Other than that don't let it affect your friendship with him, plant the seed and don't discuss it again until your friend brings it up like it's his idea.
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>>18063577
Thanks. And you >>18063546 too. I'll do what I can but at the end of the day, I gotta sorry about myself.
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