The Final Chapter

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Hey /adv/, hope you read this cause I feel pretty alone at this time in my life. I had the girl of my dreams for about 2 and a half years dump me about one week ago now, and I took it like a champ at first but all it took was one dream about her to fuck me up. Since then, I can't help but feel like I made a mistake in letting her go, we had our differences and we were fighting a lot but it had never occurred to me that we could actually end, it always felt like we'd come back to each other in the end. It stings real bad and I've lost 2 years of my life in the past being sad about a different girl, but that was some stupid shit, just some throw away that I fell in love with. This was the real deal, and now I can't help but be afraid of falling into another hole and losing myself again after all this time of being loved. Genuinely loved.

I'm only 20 and I can't think of how I'm going to get through this. The final chapter is tomorrow. After an ugly break up (her calling me names and what not, blocking me on everything), we managed to touch base and agreed to meet up tomorrow at a park. I'm trying to trick myself into being okay with a final goodbye, but at the same time I almost have this pathetic hope that she'll say a week break was needed and get back with me. God, I sound so small. I'm sorry you guys.

If anyone has any words for me, or advice about tomorrow's meet up, it would be appreciated. Thanks for reading.