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Love interest is self destructing

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Hi. A female friend and I started hanging out a lot and got really close, but I had doubts about her because she liked to party a lot and often came home stumbling drunk or trying to talk to me and doing all the classical alcoholic bs. I mentioned it to her a couple times, hoping that she would understand why we weren't going to the next stage. Finally she told me she started seeing some other guy this week and I felt hurt by that. We talked last night and she told me that I never brought it up to her(The drinking and lesser extant smoking), I told her I did, but that she always brushed it off. And while we talked...she had 3 pints of beer...then some other guys came and they all left to go to the bar and drink where that guy she met works. I guess what hurts is that she chose alcohol over me and fucking random guys instead of a guy that wanted better for her. I'm already going to go no contact with her, but would asking her to stop drinking have mattered?
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>3 pints of beer
>self destructive

lol
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>>18060912
She crashed the car her parents bought for her because she drove drunk and hid the damage from them. She drinks 3 pints + almost every single day after work. She always complains about money but buys plenty of liquor. She fought me, fought our friends, made out with random guys while dating other guys, etc. The amount of times she's been slumped over on the floor in a drunken stupor, slurring her words and making no sense is too much.
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>>18060917
Honestly she sounds like the bottom of the barrel man. Like there are bad girlfriends, but she just sounds god awful. I'm not sure what you see in her. You need to work on your own self-worth. If you can be attracted to someone that objectively awful, there is probably something wrong with you. I'm not saying that to be a dick, but honestly, who else would put up with that shit?
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>>18060887
Why would you want a drug addict then. Alcohol is one of the worst things you can be addicted to.

I know you're upset, but you couldn't have stopped her self destructive behaviour, even if she became your gf.

If you can't be together with a woman you should move on to other women.
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>>18060887

She is what we call a Shit-Tier woman.

Some people just act like subhuman apes and stay that way the rest of their increasingly fucked up lives. Other people have to hit rock bottom before they turn their life around.

You just have to push people like that out of your life.
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>>18060979
Because my father was a drunk too. And I don't know, maybe I thought that where I was unable to help him, that perhaps I could help her. I just didn't want to see her in the state she often was in. And honestly, call me a loser if you guys want; but she told me that one time she got raped because she got drunk at this guys house and she woke up to him fucking her. I...I worried about her and in the end I guess I wanted to protect her.
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>>18060887

>would asking her to stop drinking have mattered?

No. You both have different lifestyles and she picked someone who was compatible with her lifestyle instead of someone that wanted her to change.
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if someone doesn't want your help you can't and shouldn't do anything
you're not her dad, you don't have to teach her to be responsible and shit
just let her go, there's so many better people out there
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>>18060995

Lose the Jesus/Savior complex.

She is choosing to incapacitate herself and put herself in precarious situations where she is in danger of rape. Even after getting raped she does not change her behaviour.

> She either has not hit rock bottom yet to where she wants to change
> Or she doesn't want to change because she feels like she is garbage that deserves to be raped
> Being herself sober is so unbearable and she has such loathing and hatred for herself that her only solace is drinking to forget her problems
> Here is this guy and he is nice to me and I like that but there is something deeply wrong with him if he thinks I am NOT a piece of garbage.
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>>18061020
She actually told me that word for word once...that she thought she was garbage and good for nothing. I don't fucking get it. WHY? I fucking told her that she wasn't and that she could talk to me, just be with me and talk without drinking. I don't get it. Why does she think of herself like that? I showed her I cared.
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>>18061029
Part of growing up is realizing that there are simply people who can't help themselves.
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>>18060887
Alcoholics world is dominated by the king alcohol. First step to anything is understanding the problem and she clearly doesn't see problem in her behaviour if she just brushed it off everytime you tried to make connection with her on the subject.. just forget about her and carry on. (((and yes, easier said that done, but time heals, scars will be yours, atleast you will not cut urself with the same shit again?)))
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>>18061029

A lot of reasons potentially:

> Other guys told her the same thing to get into her pussy
> She has depression
> She was molested as a child and can only relate to people in so far as her utility to them rendering her incapable of understanding love
> She doesn't really trust or believe you
> She prefers being a victim because then bad things that happen in her life are never her fault so she chooses not to acknowledge being corrected by you.
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>instead of a guy that wanted better for her
See, that's the thing.
You don't want better for her, you want your pure moral waifu.

She chose making her own decisions and living how she wants to over letting somebody else dictate what she should and shouldnt do.
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>>18061049

TTTTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111one
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>>18061049
Dictate? How did I dictate anything? She confided in me about all these things and I witnessed a lot of them. What do you call that except a cry for help? I never once told her how to live her life. I simply asked that she not take to the bottle every time and try talking it out or doing other things.
Thread posts: 17
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