Someone please help me. So I met my current girlfriend on a dating

>>18060400
That hurt me so bad , like i got punched . I asked her why , she so she can let her anger out on other people and thats just bullshit.
I said to her , well we argued and youre back on a dating app , it looks like you are looking for another guy. She said no. So we left it there.
Instantly made a fake account to find her , and of course I did. It did say she was take on the app , but she had a symbol that said"this person is extremely popular today"
I kept checking everyone so often whether she is still there , well she was.
I got annoyed and on the fake profile I put my name and a photo of me and visited her profile(i didnt put a relationship status , so it automatically put im single). Obviously it showed her that i visited her profile.
I did it so she knew how I felt seeing her there.
I get a message at 3am saying well it says you are single (she saw on my profile) well i mean if you wanna be you can. You clearly wanna break up with me well then go ahead.
I replied no , i just wanted to find you . I deserve to know what you have on your profile. She said you dont do things like that , spy on me. I mean ill admit i didnt have to do it , but i got mad.
After that we "somehow" resolved it , but i godamn new well she kept going there. So i checked her profile a couple of days later and she removed that she is taken.

>>18060400
It came up acouple of times and and always told her how much it bugged me and i went hard on her , but she never answered my question to why she had it.(i know for a fact she wouldnt go out to see another guy)
Yesterday , we nearly broke , she didnt even wanna talk or anything due to other reasons.
I said to her in a huge paragraph how much it hurts me ,and I would never do such thing as message random girls and chat with them.
She said she does it because she want to speak to people who dont know her , know her faults and problems.
Thats just stupid imo , we chat basically non stop all day.
I again explained how you basically dont do such think in a relationship. And how bad it is even more when i dont like it and how much she means to me.
She said its okay , we will agree that i will stop going there and we will start again , just us two.
I said okay , i was sad we nearly broke up and i took her word.
I really didnt want to check if she still had her profile , i knew beforehand she did.
But when I found her , she didnt have the symbol that said"this person is extremely popular today" so maybe it she actually stopped going there. (she is extremely beautiful what also bugged me is that her rating was skyrocketing)
I was like okay she stopped going there. I check today and I found her and she had the symbol again and she was even online. Wow she still goes there.
What should I do ? Im lost atm really badly

>>18060400
you seem to have some problem with yourself. She is lying to you openly and you never seem to think bad of her. It seems you are not too important to her, so why bother? burn the bridge and fuck it

Give her an ultimatum. You are giving her all the power in this relationship, so either level it out or leave her. You deserve better than to be stepped on.

>>18060412
It could be. Its exactly as you are saying. I still cant think bad about her. I just love her so much. I mean apart from this , she is an amazing girl honestly. Its not easy for me to let go. She is my world. Ive told her so many times how bad i feel about it and she knows. But carries on doing it. I mean i dont tell her stuff like dont message people or stuff like that.

>>18060417
After we nearly broke up yesterday i honestly though it was okay.
Like i said this theme came up acouple of times and every time she said, do you want me to delete it? I said do what you think is right. I never said yes directly. because it would come down to her saying i told her to do it blah blah
I dont want to loose her damn im not sure.

>>18060418
It will hurt way more once you learn she has somebody else than when you leave her yourself. Myself I'd make a fake profile myself, contact her and check what is she actually up to. But hell, there aren't many options, are there?

>>18060421
so in this relationship you can never tell her to do anything? doesn't seem healthy to me

>>18060425
I honestly believe she isnt one to cheat , i know her. But i mean you could be right , im scared now that i think of it. Should i honestly make the fake profile ? i feel really wierd doing it.

Not in that sense, what i meant is i dont restrict her from messaging guys for example or doing something else. Well we are 18 both of us , still kinda young. We havent experienced a whole lot yet , for me to say to her dont do that.

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>>18060431
>I honestly believe she isnt one to cheat

Son.

She's on a dating site lol.

>>18060442
That is true, Its horrible from her what she is doing. I someone how wanna initiate away to say to her "you are still on there arent you?" or say something like that to her. Because if i said i found her on the site again she would say im spying again.

>>18060431
A relationship is form of mutual agreement. So anything is possible there as long as both of the people agree. You *can* make one, where one/both of you never tell the other what to (not)do, but it seems pretty... distant to me. I mean, there's not much closeness in it. And if there is something you simply don't ever want her to do, then it's either your will or splitting up I'm afraid.

Now the situation as I see it may go three ways:
she may do this to you intentionally, cheating on you (even if she doesn't fuck anybody, she still may be doing some other things. The key is the intention here)
or she is just too weak psychically to stop doing that. In this case she may need the help and you, being so close to her are basically responsible for helping her. Some psychologist may help in such situation and there is plenty of free help available.
Then there is also another possibility: this is her way of making you telling her what to do - maybe she WANTS you to "man up" or sth like that.


That's as I see it with the little context I have. Making a fake profile could let you learn what is she actually doing, but I don't know if this could accomplish anything.

>>18060449
Thanks for the replies from everyone you guys are helping me out big time and I appreciate it.

1) , but she doesnt even wanna have sex, she studies all day long doesnt go out , but I could be wrong, i highly doubt it tho. The relationship has been alittle off in the past month or so.

2)I dont know what else to do so she stops. we chat all day long from morning to noon. I help her out nonstop (she has it though because of school) im always there for her.

3)never thought of that. I kinda wanna bring it up again , but i dunno how to start the convo. Maybe just say something like , its still bugging me ?

Again i feel wierd with the fake profile , but I may try it

>>18060447
She's obviously not mature enough to be in a relationship. Just end it, you deserve better.

>>18060464
I treat her good , too good. Im never horrible or nasty or anything. Its true what you are saying. She has kinda been pushing me away and I know she doesnt wanna be with me , but she said she doesnt want to loose me as a person. Honestly I shoulda ended it , but i just cant.. im so attached to her. the harder I try the more of an idiot i am to her.

I cant bare in the see her with another guy in the future

>>18060460
no sex, interest in other guys, getting angry when you notice it - well, those are red flags. If they go together it's really terrible sign. If calling her on this doesn't help I don't really know if something could. I suggest going to some psychologist. Here you are not giving us enough context, so we cannot give you too good advices, you know.

Try thinking how you feel
try deciding why do you feel like this
try changing the bad parts, possibly by explaining her why you feel so bad. If the only response is to fuck off and not spy on her - forget her

>>18060469
>she doesnt wanna be with me
you should say it in the beggining. This unvalidates every single advice given in this thread. No chance for you, forget sex. She may stay your friend if you want it

>>18060475
I dont know to what extent she says to the other guys , ima try and make a profile and talk to her. My last attempt to see who she really is.

I tried to explain in as much detail as possible, feel free to ask anything else.

>>18060481
That is true , im gonna talk to her again. And say its bugging me how she is saying she doesnt wanan be with me. She didnt say it exactly , but we both know.
You guys are right im gonna tell her

I go to make a fake profile , find her and im about to send a message and it says her mailbox is full.
Asin completely full and i cant even message her wtf

Well anyway guys thanks for you replies , it means alot to me. Ill somehow sort it out from this point on. I knew i could rely on /ad/ for advice.
It will be tough , but I have to do whats right , like you all stated.
Bye for now everyone