How does cheating happen?

>>18059327
>I have never had a girlfriend but I know I would never cheat
I remember saying that. Then I slept with my ex, three times, and made out with the best friend of my wife.

You'll change anon, just as I did. And you'll hurt whoever you end up with because you'll realize that fighting so hard against the idea of a selfish act like cheating will actually lead to to commit the act.

Idk I cheat without guilt because my boyfriend loves porn and cam girls too much. It kind of ruined my self esteem and when I met someone who is obsessed with my body and sex, I got hooked on him. We're both in sexless relationships and it works for us while our relationship with our significant others are surprisingly improving. I get to spend time with my boyfriend without feeling resentment because we haven't had sex in months or because I'm sucking on his soft cock....now I just get to enjoy him without the pressure of being too horny to focus on a conversation.

>>18059327
When you date down, you tend to cheat.

>>18059336
not everyone becomes a piece of shit like you or >>18059361

>>18059336

OP here, I still don't understand.

In my mind, I am thinking.. "Wow, I had to try so long to meet and actually get this girl to be my girlfriend. I don't want to fuck it up by cheating on her!"

Is that not everyones thought process or does it go back to the "Well, I can afford to eat steak every night no matter what it comes from." thought process?

I just can't imagine cheating because it would undo all the effort I put in.

Cheaters are a minority. A somewhat sizeable one? Yes, but a minority nonetheless. They are just bad, weak, dishonest, and selfish people bad at relationships and bad at self control.

It's just like how there will always be bad people in general throughout life. Don't trouble yourself with their reasons, just ignore and avoid them as best as you can.

>>18059327
>>18059376
IF you get caught.
The keyword there is if.

It's a gamble with relatively low odds of losing, depending on the situation of course. And man tell me I could could double my money with only a 20% chance of losing it, I'd take it.
Not to mention if you can get a gf once, you can get another one, don't play yourself normie.

File: 1409306262174.gif (1MB, 400x180px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 400x180px

>>18059327

>What would it provide besides drama?

Sex. Feeling wanted. Who knows. You've never been in a relationship so you don't know the feeling of being trapped in it.

Relationships and intimacy is a complicated thing. The people here try to draw such a distinct line between good people and bad people but the fact of the matter is that its much more complicated than that. Good people can make terrible mistakes and terrible people can have moments of goodness. It won't really make any sense if you don't have the life experience to rectify your fears, insecurities and irrational thoughts with the way people actually think and operate.

I wouldn't read too far into it. Don't make cheating a point of anxiety or stress for you in a relationship because what the kids here don't realize is that having shitty things happen to you in relationships is not because feminism is ruining the world or our culture validates shitty behavior and is ruled by normies and SJWs, its because having shitty things happen to you is what adolescence is.

You will get your heart broke. You will get cheated on. You will fall in love with someone only to watch them tear your heart out of your chest. Its a rite of passage. Its what kids have been going through since the dawn of time. If you use your failures and heartbreaks as learning opportunities you will be a better person for it. If you use your failures and heartbreaks as fuel to hate and become bitter you will spend the rest of your life alone because you never learned from your mistakes.

Everyone sucks when you're a kid. When you're in your 20's slightly less people will suck but everyone will be just as insecure and terrible to each other with just a bit more arrogance because they think they're adults. By the time you reach your 30's and 40's the people that suck will suck even harder and you'll be amazed that they made it to such an old age without learning anything and you'll be able to spot them from a mile away.

File: 1376298449207.jpg (50KB, 456x469px) Image search: [Google]

50KB, 456x469px

>>18059361

Gr8 B8.

Standing by for redpilled meltdown.

>>18059327
you cheat when you are not satisfied enough, simply. If your partneris bad at sex/ bad at meking emotional contact, etc.you start cheating if you can, searching for someone better. Thus you think you'd never cheat - you can't find anybody anyway. If it ever changes for you, you may take another perspective. That's why I and the other guy tend not to belive you in this 100% crap.
Of course, there are also other reasons to cheat - intentionally harming someone or living two lives for example (when you act super slutty half of the time, but have a significant other you basically hold hands with.) This one I don't get, but my ex does so

>>18059392
What happens when you have not been given any opportunities to learn and grow? I am 26 and have had zero relationships. Am I actually a liability because of my lack of experience?

>>18059382
how about backing this up with any data, even anecdotal?
I call total bs

>>18059327

So, I've never cheated on a girlfriend, but I can see so many reasons why it would happen.

People end up in these relationships where they can't fathom what it's like to be without the comfort of someone else, that they refuse to look inward and be honest that they're bored, that they're unhappy, that they need to do the responsible thing and end it. Relationships are sold to us like this super important goal, when in reality, they just don't matter that much. Like a persistent amount of ignored stress that doesn't get any attention, something is going to crack.

On a personal note, I was like you at the same age (although more experienced in relationships), but I wanted a girlfriend very, very much. I was tying my self-worth into the fact that I couldn't seem to find someone that wanted to be with me, despite feeling like I had a lot of great traits and was deserving of one.

I finally got into that relationship, and realized that there was another girl out there better suite to me. She was prettier, more fun, smarter, all of this stuff... it made me realize that I'd been settling for the girlfriend I was with, and that I'd cheat on her if given the opportunity. So I broke up. And while things didn't work out with the other girl, I'm very happily single with my own freedoms now.

>>18059407
>The most recent research on this suggests that people are actually pretty willing to be honest and confess when they're asked anonymously. In May this year, the polling company YouGov surveyed about a thousand Americans. And they found that 21 percent of men and 19 percent of women admitted that they had cheated on their partners. But it's also worth mentioning that about another 7 percent said they would prefer not to answer the question. So you can read into that what you will.

http://www.npr.org/2015/07/26/426434619/sorting-through-the-numbers-on-infidelity

>>18059407
t. Cheater who thought being a piece of human trash was common

>>18059418
wow, didn't expect that. Great props you use science, anon.
Yet still we have the same problem as alqways - the subjects were only americans, poll was used instead of interview and that 7% figure is quite likely to bringthe number up to 1/4-1/3 of population. You think this is a little number? come on
but again - you win with science, I admitt

File: 1380078427875.jpg (46KB, 400x428px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 400x428px

>>18059402

>What happens when you have not been given any opportunities to learn and grow?

You find them. You make them happen. Experience will not just plop in your lap. If you really struggle that much, find people who have been in relationships, good and bad, and absorb all the information you can.

The problem with humans is that the best way we learn a skill or attribute is directly from someone who has firsthand knowledge of that skill or attribute but at the same time we're often too proud or egotistical to admit that the things we believe to be true about the world and ourselves could be wrong so we often resist the impartation of knowledge.

>Am I actually a liability because of my lack of experience?

Think of it like this, if you have no experience operating a motorcycle and you hop on one for the first time the only thing you have to go on is mimicry, correct? You've seen television shows where people ride but because you've never actually used any of these techniques in real world application you don't really have any point of reference to refer your experience to.

I will say that you can become less of a liability the less ego you bring into any situation. In any type of learning environment or experience, if you come into it with an already rigid hold on the things you are willing and not willing to believe any information you receive will be tainted.

You have to open yourself to the idea of being wrong. You have to be ready for some failure and maybe a bit of humiliation. Its never too late to start learning something but what makes childhood such a prime time to learn these skill is that when we experience soul crushing sadness we can pour in our beds and have our moms make us PB&J with the crust cut off.

When we experience them as adults we have less of an opportunity to decompress. We still have bills and responsibilities and processing the pains of new relationships can be a very heavy thing to someone who has never been through them.

>>18059436
I said sizable minority. But you can look into various infidelity studies across the western world. The number stays almost constant at a 20-25 percent. It's quite a well-researched topic.

>>18059327
Simple, how many shitty people do you meet? Great, now ask yourself if they have relationships. There's your answer.

>>18059443
Ah, so that's the thing. We simply disagree on what you can call a minority

>>18059450
>minority (n.) the smaller number or part, especially a number that is less than half the whole number.

>>18059436
>>18059423
>>18059418

The science is dubious. I still contest that assuming that 100% of people who answered yes on that study are pieces of human trash is a very far leap to make.

It is a far leap because if we expand impulse control, bad decision making and desperation outside of the realm of cheating, how many of us have never made a terrible mistake that hurt someone? How many of us have NEVER made a selfish decision that harmed someone else?

The study does nothing to address the fact that in 20 years, chances are you you will hardly recognize the person you are today. I know the whole "people can change" bullshit gets beat up like shit around here but I'm nearly 40 years old and I couldn't imagine doing any of the shameful, disgusting things to people and women are particular that I did when I was in my 20's. I was selfish. I was young and confused and awful to people and throughout my years I learned from my mistakes and decided through a series of conscious and subconscious that I didn't want to spend my life repeating the same mistakes.

I dunno, man. I'm just an oldfag but when I look at the world I live in and the friends I have and the people around me I strongly contest that if we were to be eternally judged for the shit we did when we were kids none of us would deserve love.

Yes, old people still cheat, I know. Some older people fucking suck, but I guarantee you that not everyone who answered yes on that study is a piece of human garbage. Not everyone's personality and worth as a human being can be completely characterized by their worst mistakes.

If that were the case I challenge any one of you to say with a straight face that you made it through your teens and twenties never having abused someone's trust or done something despicable.

>>18059457
I sort of tl;dr it, but I'm almost your age and I've never cheated. I've never done anything close to that in terms of shittiness or hurting someone. I don't know man, the most accurate info we have shows that the majority of people are faithful and never cheat in their life. I think it's perfectly fine and reasonable to call out the people who do as shit. But whatever makes you feel better.

>>18059469
*the most accurate info says that people in some western countries claim to have never cheated in their life (or whatever the polls actually asked, as in some cases this might have been just the present situation)

here, fixed that for you

>>18059469

>I think it's perfectly fine and reasonable to call out the people who do as shit.

I think its personally fine to call out the acts people commit as shit, but whether or not those people are shit is beyond your scope of information. What if the only thing anyone ever knew about you was the worst thing you'd ever done?

Do you think that would be a fair system of judging the entirety of your character?

>I don't know man, the most accurate info we have shows that the majority of people are faithful and never cheat in their life

The most accurate info we have shows a very brief glimpse of decision making in an entire lifetime of activity. The study doesn't include information about whether the people who cheated were in relationships where both of the people thought it was exclusive, whether the people who cheated were first time/only time cheaters or multiple time cheaters, whether or not the people who cheated have any kind of emotion/psychological disturbances, whether or not the people who cheated were in abusive or dysfunctional relationships etc.,

There is SO MUCH information you don't have so to say that "Hey, that person is shit because they cheated" is doing a disservice to logic and 9 time out of 10 is a hypocritical sack of shit.

Yeah, there's a lot of shit people out there but it helps no one to toss the baby out with the bath water. Its not about what makes me feel better, I just prefer not to make judgements about people until I have all of the information because, as a reasonable human being, I hate when people do the same thing to me.

>>18059487
>Do you think that would be a fair system of judging the entirety of your character?
I honestly don't really mind it that much personally. Again, I haven't done anything nearly that shitty whether you choose to believe me or not.

>>18059487
I like you. You are a sympathetic person

I haven't cheated, but I understand how people do it. You do it the same as you do anything else you feel guilty about. You rationalize it, you tell yourself it's not that bad, you tell yourself that you deserve it, that the other person treats you better, that your partner deserves to be hurt, etc.

Makes them feel guilty, no doubt. Some people are sociopaths, but not many. Those that don't appear to feel guilt just have buried it under so many layers that they probably don't consciously see it.

>>18059327
its literally hardwired into our DNA at an extremely base level to seek many partners

all mammals do this

>>18059327
people get hurt, jaded, numb, bored.

I remember my first girlfriend that I "loved". Granted, I was much younger than you. I never in a million years would have cheated on her. Until she did it to me. Three times.

I cheated on her a few times after that. After that I slept with sluts for a few years. My next relationship only lasted three months, because I couldn't trust her at all and we argued almost daily for those three months. After that, back to banging sluts for a few years. My next relationship after that lasted about 3.5 years, only ended this past November. She's one of the best people I've ever met, super cute girl, super nice. I only cheated on her twice, and it was never full sex just make outs. She never found out and there's a very good chance we'll end up back together.

The point of this shit is that it all boils down to the shitty, never-ending cycle of slut cheats on regular dude>turns into "asshole">cheats on nice girl>turns into slut>cheats on regular dude

Oh, wanna know something else? My three other best friends had their first "loves" cheat on them as well. 98% of women are whores who will cheat on you if they don't think you'll find out.

I guess this turned into more of a rant than anything, but it's far harder than you think to not become a jaded fuck. People suck.

File: 5.jpg (539KB, 1170x687px) Image search: [Google]

539KB, 1170x687px

>>18059327
The simple answer is that humans are not monogamous because we evolve mechanism of sperm competition and mate guarding. also humans come from a tournament species like lions and they are not monogamous.


https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12496732

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2004/09/040920063537.htm


https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-human-beast/200903/did-stone-age-men-and-women-sleep-around-and-should-we-care


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_sperm_competition

>>18059692
>humans are not monogamous

Wrong. Humans are not SIMPLY monogamous, but to say humans are not naturally monogamous at all is just as wrong. Humans are incredibly complex when it comes to mating strategy and employ various types. The three most common being serial monogamy, life-long monogamy, and polygyny. Extradyadic sex can also be counted as one, and you could also call it a form of promiscuity.

The trend towards monogamy and away from promiscuity began well before humans even existed. As early as 4 million years ago, Australopithecus already displayed less sexual dimorphism than modern day chimpanzees. This means that there was already less male competition, less promiscuity, and more pair bonding. And this trend continued to exaggerate all the way until modern humans. This was because the environment started selecting for intelligence, and consequently biparentalism. Males and females that were inclined to pair bond with each other instead of being promiscuous would have a better chance of having offspring that survived and were successful. Instead of spreading resources thin across more mates and children and running the risk of abandoning or being abandoned, they could together stably support a child with an incredibly long childhood and learning period. This is why we have the neural pairbonding networks that we have. This is why we have vasopressin and oxytocin. This is why romantic love is so powerful.

1/2

>>18059738
2/2

This is the biological and evolutionary basis for human monogamy. Now add the cultural layer on top of that. When you look at humans, monogamy is the most popular mating strategy by far, even moreso that polygyny. Monogamy is more popular even in groups that say they are polygynous. Look at all of the most successful, developed, and powerful nations today. They all have monogamy as their culturally accepted relationship structure. Then look at nations that practice polygyny. All of them are more or less war torn and volitile. Look at the few societies in the Himilayan range that practice polyandry or promiscuity. They never developed or advanced and continue to struggle, while assimilating more into the more powerful and stable monogamous Chinese culture.

Now look at individual statistics within monogamous nations. Children raised within stable two parent households are the most well off in all areas by far. Communities with high levels of single parenthood are rife with problems. This can also be seen in early soviet Russia when Lenin destigmatized single-motherhood and tried to "reform" the two-parent family.

I'm not saying that humans are purely monogamous. I'm not even saying they are mainly. There is of course just as much evidence to point to humans being equally naturally suited to use all of the other various sexual strategies mentioned. But to say they aren't monogamous period is just wrong.

>>18059376
>I just can't imagine cheating because it would undo all the effort I put in.

if and when you can get a new girl every weekend, you'll understand.

also, your attraction to someone becomes a lot less intense as they become familiar over the months and years. you can still love them and be close to them, but they don't get your heart racing the same way as when it was new. that's my experience at least:

>>18059741
>Look at the few societies in the Himilayan range that practice polyandry or promiscuity. They never developed or advanced and continue to struggle

I mostly agree with what you said, but this part is simply standard confusion of cause and effect. The poor societies you mentioned live in extreme conditions and polygamy they developed is a way of coping with the harsh environment, a product and not a cause of one.

>>18059603
If anyone is the slut, it's you.

It's a result of dissatisfaction with the relationship you're in and an unwillingness to face that for whatever reason.

I cheated on my girlfriend because she has the flattest fucking ass and she was my first and only. I craved experience as a way to combat that insecurity.

While it was fun in the moment I felt bad about it and never did it again.

>>18059738
>>18059741

not going to take you seriously if you don't post scientific evidence. I already source my shit proving that humans are not monogamous. Human DNA points to polygamy and the observable sexual dimorphism in humans points to polygamy. Humans are not monogamous

http://www.nytimes.com/1997/08/26/science/new-clues-to-history-of-male-and-female.html

>>18059603
>blaming wimyn for being a cheating piece of shit

lmao kys

>>18059806
Hi, yes, not that guy, but everything he posted is absolutely correct (He's maybe overreaching a little bit with the stuff about polygamous societies being wartorn/undeveloped and so on, but that's not "wrong' so much as "arguable.")

I'm not going to follow all your links right now, but if you've understood them all as badly as you seem to have understood the NYT article (which is literally about the emergence of monogamy as a natural human behavior) then you have no business condescending to anyone about this. Against any other article you can name I can drop about half a century's worth of archaeological/anthropological research. Monogamy absolutely was present in the ancestral environment, like polygyny and promiscuity, and UNLIKE e.g. polyandry and cenogamy (group marriage), which are not natural behaviors.

The level of sperm competition among humans suggests a mix of monogamy and promiscuity with occasional infidelity, not a total lack of monogamy (for instance, compare the size of the human testes to bonobos') but while we're on the subject of sperm competition, I will say that I hope to god you haven't gotten your information about that from Robin Baker's awful book. That guy has spread so much misinformation & bad science over the years.

>>18059500

Well if you're going to take the stance that you've never done anything disgraceful or dishonest and that there's nothing you've done that you would be ashamed to be completely judged for then I guess there's nothing I can say to you.

I just personally have a hard time believing you've done nothing you're ashamed of in your entire life.

>>18059863
I never said any of that. Just that I've never hurt anyone or done anything as bad as or worse than cheating, so I honesty wouldn't mind being judged on my worst decisions/mistakes.

>>18059487
>doing a disservice to logic
wait for it..
>What if the only thing anyone ever knew about you was the worst thing you'd ever done?
the inferences they could draw would depend on what the thing was
>Do you think that would be a fair system of judging the entirety of your character?
expecting the entirety of a person's character to be evaluated on the basis of any one variable is what would be unfair; if that's all you present and then say "ok what's your judgment of that person?" the response you receive will be fairly incomplete
>doing a disservice to logic
indeed

>The study doesn't include information about whether the people who cheated were in relationships where both of the people thought it was exclusive,
an understood expectation of exclusivity is prerequisite to the consideration of one's actions counting as cheating, the inclusion of that information would've been redundant
>whether the people who cheated were first time/only time cheaters or multiple time cheaters,
the severity being less than what it potentially could've been neither diminishes nor negates that the betrayal took place; the multiples only get revealed as even worse in this case, first/only timers don't somehow become better by comparison
>whether or not the people who cheated have any kind of emotion/psychological disturbances,
they do, as evidenced by their cheating; redundant info
>whether or not the people who cheated were in abusive or dysfunctional relationships
they were, as evidenced (or established perhaps) by their cheating; redundant info


>9 time out of 10 is a hypocritical sack of shit.
>I just prefer not to make judgements about people until I have all of the information

>>disservice to logic
>>Its not about what makes me feel better

>>18059860
>>18059753
Anthro anon~ Welcome back

>>18059888
you are citing two different people, and I'm most certainly Anthro...
but hi

>>18059897
*most certainly NOT Anthro

The more partners your S.O has had, the more likely they are to cheat. Also an interesting stat is that people with less S.O's have a lower divorce rate as well

>>18059897
>>18059899
Oh dang! Well hello then

>>18059457

Youll never be able to change the fact that you stabbed someone in the back. Cunt.

>>18059903
I'm that guy, but it sorta seems like there's more than one anthro-anon in this thread! Unless >>18059738 is an unusually interested amateur (which would be awesome and isn't a put-down at all) -- I feel like I've seen the USSR family policy example in infographics etc around here before. Either way, it's cool to see.

Also, every time, I'm extremely flattered to actually be remembered on here -- but thanks! If you're the guy I talked to in the last thread about this (quite a few months ago now I think), hope you've been keeping well.

>>18059924
>>18059927
Actually that's me! I appreciate the corrections and criticisms. I definitely am just an interested layperson, but it's always a pleasure, I hope you've been doing well too.

>>18059924
so are you a trained anthropologist or something? I am completely new to this board, so I don't really know

>>18059913

>Youll never be able to change the fact that you stabbed someone in the back. Cunt.

1/10. Got me to reply.

>>18059885

I enjoyed your line by line break down of my statement. I think where you fall short of providing any sort of counter argument is you're not actually addressing to or attempting to divert from the point I'm trying to make. For example;

>the severity being less than what it potentially could've been neither diminishes nor negates that the betrayal took place; the multiples only get revealed as even worse in this case, first/only timers don't somehow become better by comparison

This was a specific statement meant to illustrate a point; the point being that statistics lack context and emotion. Looking at a percentage of people who cheat does in no way inform you of that person's life, the leading up to the cheating, the number of times, the emotions in involved, the nature of the relationship etc.,

My point has not been to try to categorize cheaters on a scale of severity, but merely state that the poor choices and impulsive decisions people make in their youth is, in my experience, not indicative of long term character growth.

Yes, there are outliers, there are always exceptions and variables, but to use blind statistics lacking any context or backstory and to try to jam the entirety of human emotion and morality into a singularly extrapolated metric of "good people" vs "bad people" is just preposterous. Life is so much more complicated. People change. Thats been my entire point.

>they do, as evidenced by their cheating; redundant info
>they were, as evidenced (or established perhaps) by their cheating; redundant info

To imply that 100% of people who cheat are emotionally/psychologically disturbed people in dysfunctional relationships is absolutely ridiculous. You started off well in your logical process and then just went completely off the rails at that point.

You keep saying "redundant info" and thats just not true.

>>18059392
This

>>18059327
Im 21 yo and have been in a few relationships and have been cheated on about twice. It broke my heart and i often think its still broken. I have never cheated on somebody and i cannot imagine being in a relationship and cheating without guilt. It would eat me up inside, if i truly loved my partner. I mean why would anybody want to stay in a relationship that makes you want to have sex with another person, because obviously there is something important missing in that relationship you are in. But on the other hand who am I to judge i am very young and maybe its sometimes easier to stay in a unfulfilling relationship and find fulfillment and confidence in cheating, than being alone.
I guess people who just cheat because they need the affection or because they got bored dont take relationships seriously and lack of empathy. Because for me the longer a relationship lasts the deeper the connection to the partner becomes and that is actually what matters and what makes a good relationship, but what if you have a problem with commitment?
Of course its all relative.

>>18059930
Woah! You've obviously been reading since we last talked! I don't know whether any of my profs could have come up with the word "vasopressin" off the top of their heads but I can promise you I'd have mumbled something about "hormones involved in pair bonding." Like I said, really cool to see.

>>18059934
Archaeologist. Well -- my bachelor's is in anthropology (like most archaeologists in the US). I went through field school, spent a couple years as a field tech (aka a "shovelbum", I'm completely serious) & then went back for a grad program in archaeology.

I don't really post *that* much on /adv/, but there's a couple people with anthro/archaeology degrees who hang out on /his/ pretty often.

>>18059979
Daw you're just being sweet. Since this is /adv/, and you're obviously farther ahead than I am in life, do you know if a bachelors in Bio is useful or worth it at all? I have yet to decide on a major and I have to at least declare something next week.

Also, do you recommend /his/? I spent a week there recently and I really enjoyed it. I don't know why I keep coming back here honestly. /adv/ is more depressing and aggravating than anything.

>>18059979
>my bachelor's is in anthropology
I see. wel, I asked,because just stumbled upon some interesting article, but have no idea how credible are sources cited there. Would you mind giving it a very quick glance? I guess yourknowledgde may suffice with this.
http://psychohistory.com/articles/the-universality-of-incest/

OP, when I was young and inexperienced, I used to think the same way.

After I had had a few relationships and gotten older I realized that even people who AREN'T cheaters do shady shit and sometimes cheat once or twice in their lives. It happens to me sometimes when a relationship goes south and it's hard to break up because you live together. I will probably never cohabitate with a woman again because it hurts too much when one or the other strays. If you don't live together then you can basically cheat any time and if the other party doesn't know, than it didn't happen.

>>18059327
>I have never had a girlfriend but I know that if I did... I would not cheat. 100 percent certain.
>I have never fought overseas but I know that if I did... I would not get killed by an IED. 100 percent certain.

File: IMG_1099.png (371KB, 700x518px) Image search: [Google]

371KB, 700x518px

>>18060077
>cheaters think people have as little control over themselves as soldiers do over getting blown up by an IED

>>18059327
motive and opportunity
same way anything happens

>>18060083
One day your future self maybe do something that surprises and you will be amazed and look back at innocent shit like this that you used to think and just shake your head and wonder how you let it happen.

>>18060099
>I'm a piece of shit, so everyone else is too
Is this literally the only argument you retarded subhumans defending cheating in this thread can bring to the table? Every post defending cheaters/cheating is some variation of "one day you'll look back and wonder how you felt this way" as if, because you are a cheating piece of shit without morals, everyone else must be too. Kill yourselves.

>>18060108
Okay, man. Have a good night.

>>18060099
Son I'm probably older than you. If my self control hasn't suddently blown up like an IED by now, I think I'm good.

>>18060114
I'm glad you are doing good man. Perhaps you won't make the same mistake that many people do. Good on you.

I'm 28 btw.

>>18060077
>fucking someone you aren't dating is the equivalent of getting blown up by a landmine
This post perfectly illustrates the lack of self control possessed by the average cheating shithead.

>>18060121
How many relationships have you been in?

>>18060077
Cheating is a series of deliberate decisions. At every point you could have said no. You could have said no, it's shitty to get drinks with this girl. You could have said no, it's wrong to get this handsy. You could have said no, I shouldnt go inside her home. No, I shouldn't undress her, etc.

At every point, you said yes, this is what I want if you cheat. Meanwhile that IED got set off because some jackass a mile away turned on his cellphone and you happened to be in the wrong place. One of the worst analogies I've ever seen.

>>18060123
I'm 29 and have been in 7 at least semi serious relationships. I've been with my current girlfriend for 8 years and have never cheated and will never cheat. I never cheated on any of the other girls either.

Cheaters like to talk as if cheating is something that is definitely going to happen so that they can feel better about being garbage. Sorry to break it to you, but cheating isn't something everyone does. It's not even something most people do. People like you are the minority, even if it's a somewhat large minority like 25 of people.

>>18059991
Sorry for the wait, had to grab food. I definitely don't want to present myself as an expert here *at all* -- I knew a couple people in bio-related fields back in undergrad but obviously I have no direct experience with how competitive the job market is. I do know there *are* jobs, much like in archaeology, for people with just a bachelor's, field and lab tech jobs and so on; I quickly googled and on a reddit thread (yeah, I know) people were saying they're not TOO hard to get. If it's anything like my field, they'll be competitive, but by no means impossible, provided you're proactive about applying (and obviously keep your GPA up).

Obviously there are a million different fields (heck, even phys. anthro) that you can get into with a biology degree if grad school or med school are options, but I don't know they are for you.

So with the disclaimer out of the way that I don't really know what I'm talking about, my personal opinion:

If, like a lot of people, you're not sure whether you even want to work in the field you major in, and for whatever reason you don't want to postpone college until you do, pursuing a degree in a hard science that you enjoy is far from the worst thing you could do.

A science degree obviously communicates that you're intelligent and also that you're a serious person who went to college to study, not just to get drunk and hook up. Even for me -- I minored in something pretty mathy and I know for a fact that it got me a few jobs & internships (not just related to anthro) because it made them sit up and go, "Hm, that's something you don't see every day." Plus, the skills were useful. & if there's any chance you want to work in any of the sciences one day, lab&field experience is SO important. If I could go back to undergrad that's the one thing I'd do differently; lab sciences can be stressful and a lot of work, but looking back on it, every hour spent doing something hands-on in the lab was worth five hours of lecture, easily.

>>18060132
25% of people*

No relationships are perfect, cheating is a way to stay with the one who you want to live your life with

>>18060137
>cheating is a way to stay with the one who you want to live your life with
lol what

>>18060137
>Cheating is a way to stay with the one who you want to live your life with
>Doing the one thing capable of permanently destroying your relationship is a way to stay with the one who you want to live your life with
You and people like you are terrible. I hope you know this.
>I love this person so much, let me stab him/her in the fucking back so that I can continue to love them
The world would be better off without people like you.

>>18060132
Look man, I am glad you are doing so great. Really, I am. I'm twenty eight and have had five GFS. Sometimes when I am near the end of a relationship and need to break up I have a problem of noticing other women before the breakup is initiated. This has never lead to anything physical but has on two occasions led to flirtatious texting while still in an ltr. I feel pretty bad about it and I really think your puffed up moral superiority is pompous and that it can happen to you more easily than you think.

>>18060145
Tits or gtfo

>>18060140
The perfect relationship is one where both parties cheat and neither finds out.

>>18060151
That's fucking dumb. That's so fucking retarded on so many levels.

cont'd;

All that's a long way of saying that, although I feel like people on /sci/ or wherever kind of sneer at bio degrees (to say nothing of anthro), although it isn't the absolute most marketable degree in the universe, it's far from the least, and in my opinion it'd certainly be better to pursue a bio degree and excel than a chemical engineering degree and struggle every step of the way, especially if you're not even sure you want to be a chemical engineer.

As for /his/, I actually really like it! I think it has a good atmosphere and even if not everybody knows what they're talking about, there definitely are some people who do. About every third thread is a Holy Roman Empire meme but there are worse things in the world.

>>18060003
I'll check it out in a little bit -- gotta eat now. I probably will sage my reply when I do because at this point my posts could not be any more off-topic if I tried, but I'll check it out (Whether I'll know anything about it is another story).

>>18059327
Cheating is just one of many beta responses to conflict in a relationship.

If something bothers you then you sit the two of you down and talk it over. If you realize the two of you are incompatible then you break up.

I've never cheated or been cheating on, which led me to have a zero tolerance policy for it.

You get all sorts of excuses. It's the same as with druggies, alcoholics, gamblers, and any sort of self inflicted shit (although probably more like gambling since no external chemicals are involved).
>Dude just do X because this aspect of society sucks
>I can't help it. I'm just like this.
>Well you can't see the world in black and white!

Just leave them to their self destructive vices

>>18060148
>I really think that your puffed up moral superiority is pompous and that it can happen to you more easily than you think
And you're wrong on both counts. The fact that you think someone who looks down on cheaters (which again, is a majority of people on the planet, because cheaters are a minority) has "puffed up moral superiority" is retarded.

Anyone else notice how cheaters and people who condone cheating are usually people who have never been cheated on? Cheating is completely fine so long as you aren't the one being cheated on, apparently.

>>18059400
>you cheat when you are not satisfied enough, simply.
I remember visiting hookers when I had a gf. I never doubted that she loved me and I loved her too. We really like liked each other, it just clicked emotionally.
But man the physical part was pure frustration. If she'd touch my body it was never in a sexual way. She loved making out but her hands were just holding me, never doing anything. The only sexual thing her lips did was kissing my lips, nothing else. She never initiated anything sexual, was passive and quiet as fuck when having sex. Talking about it didn't do shit because she couldn't talk about sexual stuff. She couldn't even tell me what she liked or wanted to do. I knew she was always ready to go, but never showed signs of being horny or "wanting me".
It was so damn frustrating. And then some chick gives you a "fuck me" eye or is kinda groping your arms, back and abs at a party and suddenly you feel wanted.

>>18059327
Because people are cunts and will always pursue what they think will make them happy or happier. I'm not saying you should go into relationships paranoid about cheating but don't expect others to be noble.

It's not just confined to cheating. People will stab you in the back if they can justify it to themselves. I've seen people stabbed in the back by lifelong friends because the person thought what they got would make them happier in life and was worth losing a friend over. Only thing you can do is have your eyes open and be able to detach yourself from the situation.

>>18060160
Well I'm happy for you. Enjoy the view from up there for as long as you can.

>>18060153
>>18060133
Thank you so much anon. Honestly, any kind of advice from people more experienced than me is helpful at this point. I have no idea what lab or field work is like, let alone work in any field or environment. I have 0 experience so far, but my family insists I get at least a bachelors in something. I want to get a degree that will be worth it. It's kind of tricky when math is both my weakest and least favorite subject, so I absolutely don't expect anything as lucrative as an engineering degree. But you're helping me feel more confident about it! Bio doesn't seem like that bad of an option.

I'll definitely check out /his/ more, so maybe I'll see your posts around there.

I love my chosen one. The sex however is pretty much like a chore with her. If you think conflicts trigger cheating you are either a kid or a female

>>18059389
But doing that would just create guilt.
Its not really a win because you will feel bad afterwards for doibg something that is morally wrong.

I could sell my moms car and tell her someone stole it. Proffit, or just stupid?

>>18059392
If you feel trapped, why not break up?
You should!

The only reason you don't os because youre actually scared of the consequences, that you might end up alone.

>>18060230
Only women fear ending up alone. Girls are desperate so ending up alone as a guy takes a real omega specimen

>>18060236
Actually its the complete oposite. Women select their men, and it's up to the men to charm and impress them.
Beggars can't be choosers.

>>18060187
You're very welcome, and I'm happy to have helped. If math isn't your thing, if I can give one last piece of unsolicited advice, be ready for your first chemistry class (and then for organic chem). It's definitely doable, just one of those subjects that can kick your ass if you don't take it seriously (I am only saying this because I did not take it seriously the first time, and it kicked my ass). Chemistry and language classes are the two classes that I tried to never take in the mornings (language classes because everybody is sleepy and nobody talks). Hope to see you on /his/ soon!

>>18060003
OK, so this article.

The name "Association for Psychohistory" (sorry, association for what?) does not inspire confidence.

I'll be honest, I read the first few paragraphs and then started skimming it, so if there was some general thesis I was supposed to take away, I don't know what it was. For an essay called "The Universality of Incest" he sure talks about a lot of other stuff.

So, um, the good. He's right that incest is a (nearly) universal taboo, and the sources he cites for that are credible (not that it's a very hard claim to source). The bad: even if we're generous and just ignore the stuff about Freud, he also cites a whole lot of people who aren't, and after the first few paragraphs, even those that are credible, he extrapolates and asserts things that no-way-no-how do they support. For instance, while it's true that the incidence rates for sexual abuse of children are shockingly high, they ain't no 60% (thank god for that) and the way he tries to support that claim is ridiculous.

I laughed out loud at this.
>Childhood in much of India begins with the young child being regularly masturbated by the mother ... This practice has been said to be widespread by many reliable observers, including Catherine Mayo
First off, he misspelled her name. Second, I honestly can't think of a LESS reliable, MORE controversial observer he could have picked if he tried. Third … no. I've never heard of any real study alleging this.

Skimming down, I see a lot of graphic descriptions of genital mutilation and molestation, some of which, I'm sure, are unfortunately true, but given how fast-and-loose he's already played, I'm sure a lot of them are exaggerated or even just outright made up. Like I said, I'm not sure what overall point he's trying to make, but let's just say I'm skeptical of whatever he's selling.

You've got my interest, though. Who is this guy? I hadn't heard of him. Does this "Association for Psychohistory" have much of a following?

>>18060248
I used to think the same when I was a teen, but that's the ideal women you talk about that exist in the head of Plato and not in this world. As time goes by women feel they are the beggars and they actually become the beggars because they gave up their womanity and spine somewhere along the years which tends to happen earlier and earlier which is a really sad thing

>>18060279
Well, I don't know much. There was that AMA thread on /b/ lead by some japanese and we finally started talking about all that incest anime and stuff. Then some guy popped up with that article, citing some part about Japan (which made me lol. One of the best:

The most commonly reported incest occurs when the mother sees her son masturbate as a teenager and tells him, “It’s not good to do it alone. Your IQ becomes lower. I will help you,” or “You cannot study if you cannot have sex. You may use my body,” or “I don’t want you to get into trouble with a girl. Have sex with me instead.”(166)

So I read all that stuff, but in spite of it citing 200 sources I still found it somewhat suspicious. The part about Freud doesn't seem so bad, as in the end he doesn't really agree with the guy, but that part about 60% of abused children raised my brow as well.
There's no much point besides showing different practices of different cultures, while strangely enough not a word is said about Europe.
There was also this very strange claim I couldn't understand about female circumcision being done out of molestation purposes.

So there's that, thank you very much. By the way, did you happen to find any actualy really credible source there?

>>18059361
Whore

After reading most of the replies here, I just want to preface this by saying I do not condone cheating.

That being said, it's not always so trivial like people make it out to be. It's hard to break up even when you know you should sometimes. I was in a relationship for eight years that realistically should have only lasted two. We were young, and neither of us had the emotional maturity or experience to call it off when we should have. He cheated on me a few times throughout our relationship, but our relationship was garbage. He didn't make me feel appreciated and in return I never wanted to be intimate. I can understand the frustration he felt and what ultimately led to him doing it. It was an absolute lack of respect for our relationship, but there wasn't much to respect either.

My current bf cheated on his last partner. Again, their relationship was dogshit and they should have ended it long before it got to that point. It's not always easy to end a relationship. Sometimes you're holding on to something you hope to get back, and before you know it here's someone else that makes you feel special again.

For those of you who want to say "I just break up before I cheat!" That is very nice for you, but not everyone has the strength for that. Of course these people should break up, but to me it's obvious they do it out of feelings of helplessness for their current situation, at least in some cases. People aren't perfect. Sometimes they make shitty choices that hurt the people around them. It's part of the human experience to hurt and be hurt.

>>18060311
Yeah, there wasn't really anything wrong with the part about Freud (at least I don't think so -- like I said, I didn't read very closely). It's more that when you're already publishing a paper in a field that you invented, in a journal that you started, and your only qualification is that you're a "lay psychoanalyst", being a little too interested in Freud just ... makes an already sketchy article seem just a tiny bit sketchier.

I can't believe I missed the bit about Japan. That's hysterical. I notice the paper he's citing was published in his very own journal.

As for credible sources, well, Leslie White, Alfred Kroeber, George Murdock, in fact most of the people he cites in the opening paragraphs, are all real and well-known anthropologists (especially Murdock), but the claim he's citing them for (that the vast majority of societies find incest to be pretty icky) is trivial and uncontroversial. He cites a Gallup report about molestation, and Diana Russell and probably others who he cites in that section are well-known figures -- Russell is an activist, not a sociologist, but she's famous and established in academia, so at least she's a known quantity. But then, that's the section where he basically says, "OK, here are these reported figures on sex abuse rates, but I don't agree with them -- no, I don't have any better data, but let's just make some up!"

Oh yeah, having looked at it a little more, the stuff about Chinese foot binding, the idea that children in "virtually every non-western culture" sleep in the same bed as their parents & watch them have sex, the idea that "most writers" on pedophilia have been advocates for it, and the whole paragraph that starts with
>The best evidence for the cause of pedophilia is provided by the clinical reports of the psychotherapists who have written extensively on the subject.
... is all ridiculously silly.

One thing I'll say for this guy, at least he's not boring.

I've never cheated. I've never found a boyfriend either, because I've only been attracted to two guys and they were both really promiscuous which was a dealbreaker for me. More of us are out there...somewhere. Honestly it's rare for me to like people period, I feel like I'm loyal to a fault where I never truly give up on people I care about, cheating is just an absurd idea to me.

>>18060354
You know, I think I finally understand conspiracy theorists. I felt really good being able to read pretty full, detailed work on the subject giving me some insight into it. In the real science you get all those questions and uncertainity everywhere, in claims like this one you get stable, full knowledge.
Well, no luck again, eh?

Thank you again, I would be hopeless without you

>>18059327
>How do people cheat on one another and not feel like a bit of guilt?
The human mind is kinda funny, the Ben Franklin effect means that people who do bad things to others dehumanize and come to hate the victims in order to justify it.
>Oh I cheated but he/she didn't love me enough
>I killed those kids in Iraq but they were Muslims they deserved it

>>18059336
there was a point in my life when i was dating a girl that i considered my dream girl. i had known her for 20+ years and had always had a crush on her and we dated for years and years....and a couple of those years i consistently cheated on her and then would go home and lay next to her in bed and cry. and then i just kept doing it. and everytime i would think to myself that she is perfect and why did i do this?

because i'm disgusting.

>>18059567
only in men, women are driven to find the best one man. its "in our DNA" but also still makes you a stupid monkey if you pretend to be monogamous

>>18059806
and who cares if what is natural or not? being on 4chan isnt natural but guess what is, arsenic so have at it.

civilization is better then natural also only pieces of shit use primal instincts as an excuse

>>18060405
yeah, you know so much about evolutionary psychology. you are so clever.

(protip: you are not)

>>18060410
pick up a book somtime, as other anons have pointed out humans have been seeking monogamous relationships for millions of years, and also your insult doesnt qualify your arguement that natural>civilization

>ITT: cheaters blame everyone else, including DNA, except themselves

>>18060415
i have read tons of literature on evolutionary psychology. Your comment is simply not true, ass there are at least tens of strategies of partner acquisition for both sexes. Go, grab a book yourself and stop making a duce of yourself. Seriously

I nearly cheated once. I stopped short of doing it because of guilt, but I was seeking out other partners. I did it because my partner and I were always fighting. At the time, he was also very busy travelling around with work and had a relationship with a female colleague that I was very jealous of. I felt undervalued and lonely. I wanted to feel the attention that I was craving. Its embarrassing to say it, but there you go, that's a reason why.

>>18059936
>the point I'm trying to make
...hasn't gone over anyone's head here, relax. yes people who do shitty things can later stop being the shitty people they were when they did those things. redemption does not erase the shitty things. it does nothing to change that they were shitty people at some point in the past. there's no arguing a way out of nor around that, regardless of how much context or emotion you want to add. doing something shitty invites judgment from others as being a shitty person.

>the poor choices and impulsive decisions people make in their youth is, in my experience, not indicative of long term character growth.
see >>18059367 >>18059423 >>18060083 >>18060108 >>18060121 and don't just dismiss out of hand because you dislike the unnecessarily harsh wording (it's not about what makes you feel better, remember? look at what they've said, not how they said it)

>is just preposterous. Life is so much more complicated. People change.
right. anyway while we're on the subject of shit you glossed right over lol: is endlessly fascinating that those who are particularly vocal about not judging others rarely pass up the opportunity to abandon that and judge the fuck out of anyone who *does* judge others
>do you expect announcing what you're like will be taken as a directive by everyone else for how they should be too?
>do you consider it merely demonstrating a permissible lapse of strength in your convictions and not a lack of strength in your convictions whenever you abandon them long enough to take issue with someone else not having strength in your convictions?
>do you truly see a person holding an opinion which harms nobody as having committed a worse offense than a person making poor past decisions which hurt both themselves and whoever else was involved with them at the time?

>>18059936
is admittedly comical /and/ fascinating whenever the absurdity which accompanies all the praising and high esteem of logic gets condensed as succintly as that "hypocritical piece of shit" line but still, see what i mean? so many dimensions to explore

>To imply that
>imply
trying to soften it. intredasting.
>emotionally/psychologically disturbed
see string of posts quoted above again
>dysfunctional relationships
betrayal and infidelity are pretty damn dysfunctional, yo
>You keep saying "redundant info" and thats just not true.
sure it is. how is it not redundant if you can already infer it from what characterizes the situation and haven't any need for it gone into further detail?
>inb4 "wait let me emphasize certain influential factors and lay myself bare in the process in hopes that one or the other or both will garner enough sympathy to make shit not look shitty" is totally a need not a desire and definitely is not impulsively seeking to fall back on the use of a manipulative tactic because lol still can't into self control

File: 1487293657063.jpg (80KB, 692x577px) Image search: [Google]

80KB, 692x577px

>>18060389
iktf anon

>oh that person is cute
and either A:
>you know my SO has been a dick lately so that justifies it
or B:
>what can I find to pick a fight with my SO to justify it?
then
>cheat

ITT: all rationalizing cheaters.

>>18059382
this

Regarding how much of a trash person you are, that's subjective. But you are a cunt. You deserve some suffering for what you've done. That much is beyond dispute. Don't try to rationalize. No one forces you to cheat, and there's always another way, even if it means ending the relationship. Cheating is not just about your partner, it's about you. It says a lot of things about you, such as being unable to commit, being a traitorous cunt, and etcetera.

>>18062333
As for OP:

I feel the same in a way. Sometimes i fantasy about cheating during my masturbation, but only in very specific scenarios, and once in a blue moon. If it ever gets too deep/personal, i stop right away out of disgust. Above love, i respect myself and my partner to not cheat on her, even if i have the opportunities. If something is lacking in the relationship, i talk with her about it or i end it and go look for that thing in someone else. ''Honor'' and ''dignity''. are looked upon with cringe by some, but it's still something worth living by for me.

As s guy, its really easy to avoid it. Just don't flirt with girls, and they will never bother you. No girl is ever going to talk you into having sex with her. If it happens its going to be because you activley sought it and took a lot of initiatives to things which made you end up in bed with her.

Depends on the cheater I guess..
Some people cheat but remain married because they have kids and don't want to break up their family, but they are either naturally shitty people, or they are made into shitty people by their spouses or flirtacious coworkers.

And a combination of things.. could be underappreciated at home, treated like crap after a hard day of work for years, bad mouthed by his wife or her husband, maybe they never truly fell in love, not in any strong way to begin with, add stress, depression, monotony to the list. Add mid life crisis, add fetishes, add being drunk and vulnerable, add the possibility of ACTUALLY falling in love, vesus having been married to someone they felt dissatisfied with for years..and already have children, only to finally find someone truly compatible. Add the spiteful nature of mankind (versus passive problem solving), add revenge (versus communication), add trust issues, and finally add "taking advantage of the situation", certain people get too cozy and don't realize the value of other, the value of hard work.

I condemn no one, in this life, no one understands the thirst within the other. The older I get, the more I look at humanity as children crying for help, including myself. I have never cheated on anyone, and I pray to God I don't. But if someone cheated on me, knowing what I know about humanity, I dunno that I could hold scorn anymore.. I'd probably be disappointed... but I can't say I'm perfect, or that I will marry someone who is. All I can hope for is someone who is good to me, and someone who lets me be good to them.

>>18059327
Some people get into weird situations that tempt them.


Common theme in this thread and life is running into an old ex who wants to fuck

It could happen

>>18062391
this happens, especially when substance abuse is involved. What to do in that situation?

I have wanted to cheat on my gf, now-fiancee, for about 3 months now.

Before we started dating I had 750 matches on Tinder. Going from constant attention, dates, and new sex to just one girl who thinks she's ugly, cries constantly, and has literally one friend, is quite a change.

I honestly have only not cheated because it'd crush her emotionally because of how much she loves me. I feel like I'm stuck and I'm going to be stuck for the rest of my life incredibly unhappy in my marriage, but I think she'd make a decent Mom at least.

I think I might fuck a hooker though. I see literally nothing wrong with that as long as I wear protection and don't make it a habit.

Granted, if she fucked a male escort I'd flip my shit, but I guess that's the patriarchial society we live in. I'm fine with my double standard.

>>18060227
You shouldn't feel that guilty.
It's not like they lost anything

>>18062577
> I feel like I'm stuck and I'm going to be stuck for the rest of my life incredibly unhappy in my marriage
Just fucking dump her, you spineless faggot. What the fuck is wrong with you?
Jesus Christ, I hope this is bait.

>>18062591
No.

>>18062596
not him but
Seriously, dump her, don't be a coward and try to justify shitty actions if you can avoid it.

She hasn't done anything to deserve it. And she deserves better than that.

>>18062610
>She hasn't done anything to deserve it

She sucked dicks for weed when she was a teenager.

Tbh I haven't done anything to deserve such a whore, but I didn't find out until she was madly in love with me.

I'd call it karmic justice for making me have to think about that shit every time I look in her eyes. Plus she has really small titties and I want to get a titfuck from a big titty hoe. Probably just going to go to a brothel or something during a road trip.

>>18062617
Her past is not your future together. You're treating her like garbage without looking at yourself in the mirror. If you don't like what you have, and already foresee yourself judging her, it isn't worth it. It's already toxic.

>>18062629
I haven't treated her like garbage in any way shape or form.

Just because I entertain thoughts of cheating doesn't mean I already have.

If anything it'd make me feel like I'm a little bit trash too so I wouldn't feel like I'm settling for used goods so much.

>>18062633
Dude, you were a tinder normie and your bitching about your fiance on an advice board. Either settle down or break it off, but quit trying to find weak ass excuses to hurt people. It's pussy ass backstabber shit. You guys don't even have kids together, better to leave now and not do her that disservice down the line.

I'm not a better person than you, I'm not exempt from error. But this is something you can consciously choose to change.

>>18062596
>I'm going to be stuck in a relationship I don't want to be in for the rest of my life.
>Then dump her.
>No
Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you? Are you incapable of rational thinking? You'd be doing yourself a fucking favor by dumping her, you retard. The relationship clearly won't end well. What legitimate reason could you possibly have to not dump her?

>>18062617
>She sucked dicks for weed when she was a teenager.
How is that a justification? Are you a child? That has nothing to do with you. If anything, that's even more of a reason to dump her.

Just buy a gun and put a bullet in your head as soon as possible. You'll just end up getting yourself killed with your own stupidity later on.

>>18062644
>>18062646
Nah not gonna dump her.

She's halfway through a nursing program. Just gonna be a nice trophy husband fucking hookers with her money.

If I get caught I'll be one of those uncommon cases of male alimony.

>>18062651
Okay, this is definitely bait.
If it's not, have fun with your shitty life lmao

>>18062659
Explain how me discretely fucking hookers and living an otherwise normal life with kids and family barbecues and all that is shitty.

No harm no foul if she doesn't find out.I'm not running for political office or some shit, so it's literally impossible to get caught as long as I don't do it in a place where it's illegal.

>>18062661
>and living an otherwise normal life with kids and family barbecues
If you genuinely think that's how your marriage is going to turn out, then good fucking luck.

>>18062671
Its how my parents did, although my Mom was the cheater in their case. After my Dad died she came clean about her boyfriend to me and my sister. I still don't mind.

File: 1487376033347.png (109KB, 246x220px) Image search: [Google]

109KB, 246x220px

>>18062673
>Its how my parents did, although my Mom was the cheater in their case
Ah, that explains it. Being an incomprehensible piece of shit runs in the family.

I do hope you are as successful in being a shitty person as your whore mother. Good luck with your bright future.

>>18062697
Whatever bro.

Had a happy life with my mom and dad together, relatively no fighting, dad died a happy man, both their kids finished college and lead normal lives.

Sister isn't too happy about the cheating but you can sit on your moral high horse all you want. Sometimes lying is best.

>>18062723
One doesn't need to be on a high horse to understand that cheating is wrong, but okay I get it. You're warped and lack basic human decency. It's why you're able to justify your absurd actions by saying "DUDE WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW WON'T HURT YOU LMAO."

Also, "sometimes lying is best" is usually good advice for a situation such as having a fucking gun to your head and not being in a marital relationship.
You're clearly a lost cause, but it's all good. You live your life how you see fit.

>>18060216
Infallible logic

>>18062617
serious question how old are you?

unironically kill yourself

I'm one of those guys going after this girl. We met about a year ago, had frequent sex without her boyfriend knowing I even exist. It started when her boyfriend got really hostile towards her, making her cry. One day she came to my house crying and I was there to comfort her. She laid on my chest and somehow by petting her to console her, she got turned on and I started touching her sexually. By the time I realize what the fuck just happened, I had already started fingering her that night.

We also went out on dates and stuff, like a couple would. We decided to stop seeing each other for a month when the new years rolled in, she wanted to "change"

We met early february and she seemed to have lost a lot of attraction. She told me to move on and I agreed. However, she did agree to continue being "friends" and we met everyday. 4 days ago, we started having sex again. The signals i'm getting from her is that she's slowly falling in love with me again. She asked me why am I being so nice to her and if I'm trying to steal her heart again. I told her I have no intentions of separating them, as /adv/ convinced me not to deal with cheating women as they'll cheat on me eventually. I used to have romantic feelings, but now I'm just using her to fulfill my sexual needs. I'm a little afraid this is messing up her mind, filling it with so much guilt that she might go to the point of suicide. She's not showing signs of that, but it is a fear I have.

Am I still an "orbiter" if I'm having sex with her?

Are you serious?

My belief is that 90% of people with a working sex drive would cheat given the perfect opportunity and under the perfect circumstances and knowing they wouldn't get caught.

I know I sure would

I bet my GF would cheat on me too if she for example was very hot, drank, went for lots of nights out, had lots of male friends, etc.

but shes not so I'm not worried lol

>>18059336

Spoken like a true sociopath.

Or just don't fucking cheat? That simple. You dont have to do a billion mental gymnastics just because you are a gigantic piece of human shit. But hey, show off that vocabulary! Imo seriously cheaters should die

>>18062869
You're cucking her boyfriend, that certainly isn't being an orbiter now is it? I'd recommend you try to end ties with her sooner or late, since if you continue with it and she grows more and more attached to while you're only using her for sex, well, that can bite you back in the ass some time later in your life, lad.

There's a whole landscape of reasons. But roughly speaking;

>trying to solve something you should fix within the relationship
For example, you feel intimidated because you're afraid your girlfriend doesn't love you as much as you love her. But you can't talk about it with her for whatever reason (fear of looking like a fool in her eyes and turning her off, lack of communication skills or emotional awareness in general...) and you feel like you're losing self-respect, so by cheating you sort of artificially force yourself to get something going outside of your relationship with her to give you more steady footing when dealing with insecurity that has to do with her.

Obviously the above is pretty toxic and damaging for your ability to maintain healthy relationships long term.
A more common example of this is people who are in LDR cheating because they crave the cuddles and romantic stuff they can't have in their everyday life, but not wanting to lose the girl they're long distance with.

OR
>cheating out of temptation
No offense OP, I'm not saying you are definitely wrong that you would not cheat, but if the idea of being with a woman seems like a magical idea to you then you just cannot understand what it feels like to be with someone for five years and know their body inside and out, having had sex with them exclusively all the time etc. If a man's a douchebag that in itself will be enough to cheat: another woman is unknown and has that wow-factor of seeing her body for the first time. The intense pull of being with a woman, like your partner, but someone who is a woman in a different way and sounds and looks differently in bed.
For people better suited to monogamy (not everyone feels the same level of attraction towards random strangers in a happy relationship) or with a better character, it is less someone else being hot and more developing feelings for someone else. You don't magically stop being unable to get crushes or fall in love if you're taken.

>>18063240
>>18062869
Or is he the true cuck? Sure the boyfriend's girl is fucking someone behind his back, but OP knows she has a boyfriend and is totally okay with that. That seems more beta than being ignorant/deceived.

>>18063249
Female detected.
Just fuck off.

>>18063261
Wut. I'm a guy.

I'm just saying he's the one KNOWINGLY swapping cum with the boyfriend. Arguably much much more cucked there than the poor sap only doing it unknowingly.

>>18063249
If he had actual feelings for her and was in a relationship, then yes he would be a cuck, but since he isn't and uses her for his sexual needs it's the other way around, anon.

>>18063286
I don't know anon. He still happily "licks the salt from her lips" and enjoys that "extra creamy" pussy if you know what I mean.

>>18063292
I know what you mean, but the fact that he isn't emotionally attached to her and could care less makes him not a cuck. Also, he did the cucking first.

>>18063299
So not s cuck... but maybe a fag?

>>18063300
When did he bend over?

>>18063304
If the balls don't touch, right? ;)

>>18063299
Oh also, the bf did the FUCKING first. So he at least had her exclusively for some time. OP has had to share her 100% of the time since the beginning. Really activates your almonds.

>>18063318
No, but I asked where in his post did you get the vibe he was gay beyond fucking someone else's gf? The bf may did the fucking first, but he got cucked and doesn't know that his gf is taking other man's semen. Would you like the fact that someone you love is being fucked by someone else and you have to share? The cucker could care less about her, the bf isn't in the same position now is he?

>>18062899
>My belief is that 90% of people with a working sex drive would cheat given the perfect opportunity and under the perfect circumstances and knowing they wouldn't get caught
There's no need to justify your shitty mindset by projecting. Speak for yourself.

>>18059327

I've always been someone who was completely against cheating as I see relationships as something you choose to be in, and by needing or wanting to cheat your are essentially choosing to leave it so you might as well do it the right way and break up first.

However over time I have become more understanding of human nature where even though I still completely disagree with cheating and I don't excuse the behaviour I also don't condemn the people who have cheated as "bad" people under certain circumstances. My ex actually cheated on me and even though that was the nail in the coffin to our future together I forgave her fairly soon after I cut her out of my life, I still think she was a good person and I don't resent her or hold any grudges.

People also have different definitions of cheating, I consider it an emotional or physical investment in another person so even though my ex didn't have sexual relations she did develop some kind of emotional attachment to a male friend of hers and they had kissed.

>>18059365

This is likely true in most situations, this is also a good reason to always hold your own in a relationship and never spew that cheesy shit that you're so lucky to have them and that they are way out of your league etc.

>>18059376

That implies you're going out looking to cheat, some people who are like you and think they never would get tested when someone literally throws themselves at you and you're forced to either turn them down or jump ship.

>>18059382
Manwhore agrees. It is a selfish act. It's not even that you don't feel guilty. Some ppl just refuse to think through when they get horny. If i jacked off before i did anything impulsive i would be a lot more level headed.

>>18063575

This.

It's just giving into an impulse we all get, like hunger except the consequences are a lot bigger which in the moment could be even more of a turn on. There are people out there who have cheated, those who will never cheat and then a large bunch that have yet to cheat because the right circumstances haven't arisen.

I have never cheated and I think it's a pathetic and selfish thing to do but realistically I'm not 100% certain that I would never under any circumstances cross a line that would be considered cheating on a partner.

>all of the retards in this thread and their ass-backward attempts at trying to justify adultery
Really fires up my neurons.

>>18060389
No way.

I know where just random people on the web, but I bet your lying (it just sounds ridiculous).

I didn't imagine myself cheating on someone one day too, but I did.
It happened in a weird circumstances, one night after I've learned one acquaintance of mine who was a very nice guy committed suicide.
I was quite sad, so I went to see some friends to talk about this and change my mind. I ended up stayed with a couple of friends of mine, a girl and a guy. I've got a bit drunk, and after a while, I started to feel like the girl was into me. After the guy left, we continued talking, started to be a bit closer physically, and it escalated into sex. It kinda happened the same way as when I've first had sex with my two ex-gfs

I don't think there are any good justifications for what I did. However my ex also cheated on me a couple of months later, without knowing I did too, so in retrospect, it was fair. I guess it was the beginning of the end of our relationship and we both cared less than during the first year and a half we were together.
That said, the sex was less good than with my ex, and more importantly, I kinda lost a very good friend of mine because of this, so, it wasn't really worth it.

>>18060148
Damn dude my relationship has come close to ending many times but I never once texted behind my partners back, even when we were in a major fight. I still honor my partner as a human being even if the feels are absent. Its not hard, if you're not gonna do it for your partner at least do it for the sake of your own dignity.

I did it in every relationship I was ever in. Then again I am an insecure Piece of shit that Needs constant Validation. It was always because the relationship was going to shit anyway so it was a great jumping off Point to end that shit with a bang.