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Help for abusers?

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I'm a psychological and emotional abuser. It's been only recently that I realized how fucked up it really is and I'm stopping to make excuses... anyone who's a rehabilitating abuser have some advice to become a better individual?

Also, 27, female, abused friends.
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Can you give examples?
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>>18055916
Start attempting to be more empathetic by listening to people. This means actively listening when they speak to what they are feeling and thinking instead of trying to conjure a response as they are talking.
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>>18055967
I have extremely weak emotional boundaries due to previous abuse, depression, and anxiety. I kinda assumed that love is devoting completely to someone else and forgetting about yourself, but that means that other person needs to do that too, and so I pushed, manipulated and gaslighted them to go in that direction.

Making things worse, was madly in love with them and I had a problematic thing with sex, so, I overstepped my boundaries there too.

Basically, I have no clear identity as a person and I try to get my loved ones to give theirs up too so to achieve "love" (codependency, actually)
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>>18056028
Can you be any more specific? We're curious
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>>18056066
Dude I can't give you an specific example bc my mind is foggy. I KNOW I did it, but I can't just pinpoint where and how, yet. That's the catch. But the sexual abuse... well, I'll give an example of what I did with a former girlfriend. We were making out in a public place and I wanted her to sqeeze my boobs. She was resisting and I pressured her until she gave in. The next day she called me out on it, told me to chill, but as I had been sexually abused with another friend before I panicked.... and told said friend. So I emotionally abused them there, by putting them in the situation where they had to console ME.

I abused them in the past and knew it, they forgave me, and then I abused a gf, and told that friend all sobby.

The more I think of it, the more fucked up it sounds.
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I LITERALLY just realized how fucked up THAT was just now. Fuck.
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Well it seems like you're aware of it. You just need to realize that forming others into what you want them to be isn't really going to be the true them. So, if you're looking for fulfillment and trust, manipulating people into making you the good guy isn't going to get you there. But honestly, you know all this. What is it you really want?
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