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My girlfriend has this incredibly infuriating habit of giving

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My girlfriend has this incredibly infuriating habit of giving me the cold shoulder when we get into arguments. She refuses to talk about her issues, why she's upset with me, and bottles it up. This leads to more fights down the road. When this happens, I become overbearing by asking her what's wrong, telling her to talk to me, etc. I overthink in these situations and assume the worst is coming, and feel that if I know what's wrong then I can make things better. 9/10 times this just leads to more fighting.

How do I break this cycle?
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Break up with her.
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>>18055807
I find that when you ask a woman what's wrong if you approach it like a brute and demand they tell you they won't say anything/

You need to butter them up. Talk about something else and slowly escalate until she feels comfortable talking to you. You should volunteer a few things to her as well.
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>>18055807

From my experience of growing up with a bunch of sisters: girls do this when they're so angry or sad they might cry. They bottle it up so it doesn't spill over and pressing for answers will only make them clam up harder. Give her space and chill out. Distract her from it, make the situation less tense and then try again carefully, once she's calmed down some.
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>>18055807
you sound like a bitch, it's never going to work out with this girl you should just break up
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>>18055843
>>18055857

Much appreciated.
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>>18055807
Dont break up with her. But you need to spend time apart until she contacts you.
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>>18055807

By being a fucking man and not rewarding her childish behaviour with attention. If she wants to act that way you punish her right back by going out and having fun. Or doing anything else and acting aloof.

The fact that you fought with her at all is a sign of insecurity. Don't EVER, EVER fight back against a woman. Font raise your voice ever. You can't win with logic. Just let her dig herself a hole, and when she says some stupid shit you just walk away. Don't give her the satisfaction of getting you angry. Don't get mad. Don't get frustrated. If you're wrong, admit it immediately.
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>>18055921
Isn't ignoring a woman's problems a good way to end up in a "my boyfriend doesn't pay attention to me so I'll fuck his friend for comfort" type of situation? This is literally the worst advice. When you ignore women, or act like nothing is wrong, you get cheated on because she looks for the attention/emotional fulfillment elsewhere.
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>>18055961

No, it's fantastic advice. If a girl wants to act like a child rather than a grown woman then she needs to understand her actions have consequences. OP literally said he's caught in a cycle where she keeps doing it and he wants out If the cycle. If you keep rewarding bad behavior she's going to see it as acceptable. You need to condition her out of it by being a man and not putting up with her bullshit.
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>>18055990
But what do you do when "being a man" and "not putting up with her bullshit" leads to her swallowing some other guys load for comfort? You'd be better off just breaking up the second she starts playing games like this.
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Give her the talk about how bottling up makes things worse, and repeat that OFTEN.

Whenever a situation arise give her like half an hour and start persisting to ask her what's wrong.
Better to pop the bubble open before it gets worse.

After that remind that bottling up solves nothing and leads to worse fights.
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yeah just break up
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I know it's really annoying, I'm a girl and I honestly do/did the same thing. 90% of the time its just because I don't feel like he's being understanding and truly caring what I have to say so I'm just whatever with it and leave it @ that. Try to be really sweet and just listen to what she has to say.
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read the book "crucial conversations", tell her about your concerns, and then give her the book to read.
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>>18055857
while i find this to also be true often... its a shit foundation to build a relationship from.

op, don't try to deepen/escalate the relationship until you have a talk with her about this, and until she grows out of this. she's not ready for anything other than the level you are at with her now.
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>>18056007

If she swallows someone's load before swallowing her own pride then she's the problem.
Thread posts: 17
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