So this is kinda long and might be dumb but I've been married

>>18053780
>Makes sure food's always ready, takes care of all my shit without me ever having to tell her, goes out of her way to make sure I don't have to worry about anything
After a long day of being what sounds like your maid and servant she probably just wants to be by herself and relax. I guarantee you she doesn't feel sexy.

>>18053786
I kinda understand that and I've asked her numerous times not to slave herself away for me.
I couldnt care much about that stuff but her reply's always something along the lines of 'you don't really love me so you wouldn't know but i like to show my love and don't believe in shallow i love yous'

>>18053780
I've read a number of "Ask _____" columns in the paper so I feel prepared to answer this

If she still has sex with you, next time do something different. Remember when you were together for the first couple years and you couldn't be seperated? Think of that, think of the intimacy and start making out like teenagers on a couch. And keep doing this, over and over until it's normal. Some experiments have found that by forcing intimacy, it can become normal again.

>>18053793
>you don't really love me so you wouldn't know but i like to show my love
Dude it's so obvious what's going on now. There's your answer. Doesn't that sound resentful to you?

Show her the same consideration she shows you. Doing all this stuff for you is how she shows her love and she feels like she is getting nothing in return from you except nagged for sex. Turn the tables and do stuff for her too. SHOW her you love her the same way she shows you. Do all the chores and have dinner ready before she gets a chance to do it herself. That kind of thing.

...massage her scalp..

give her a massage.. she probably needs one.

>>18053804
I do do that. I go out of my way too. I almost never say no to her for anything, be it anything she wants to buy, needs help with etc.
She really is my best friend but I do feel like no matter what I do for her, she always manages to find a flaw and bitch about it later on
I mean I guess women are never happy but I do try my best to keep her happy.

>>18053815
Yeah, I should do that..I did that once and she loved it but it's so hard to unwind her in the first place far enough to get to the point of massaging

>>18053837
It's not enough to just be permissive and tell her "don't worry about doing this stuff for me." I'm talking about going out of your way to make her day less stressful or better WITHOUT her asking for it. You can't be passive about it.

>>18053780

back away. It seems that you became needy.Take her out do something fun and just act like its your first date. If she still has this shitty mood look for alternatives

It's time for a side chick

>>18053845
I really don't have time for making her day less stressful.
I've got a lot of responsibilities at work and can't let those slip.
Once I do get home, I do try to be as helpful as possible.

>>18053846
Yeah, she's mentioned that a couple of times herself.
Unfortunately, since we've had kids, we haven't had a lot of personal time because we both want our kids to go with us wherever we go.
We both can't think of leaving our children with someone else.
But thanks for the suggestion. I should really try to plan something with her.

>>18053854
Yeah, i'm trying to not fall into that trap. Don't want to feel sorry for myself.

>>18053887
Well, you wanted to know why. It's pretty clear this is the reason.

Not sure what you can do about it. Maybe there is another way you could make her feel more relaxed. People are receptive to different things. You've known her for 18 years though you should be able to figure it out.

Thanks for the suggestions anons.
Made me realize that it's probably because she's burnt out and not because she can't stand my physical self or is tired of me, which is what i'd started to think every now and then.

>>18053902
Yeah, thanks. I had been thinking of making this thread for a while now and I'm glad I did.
I'll work on it, hopefully it'll work out and she won't feel like a maid anymore.