I spend about 20% of my occupational and free time alone. Most interactions are superficial and unrewarding, because the other person is either busy or just phony. The last truly close friend I made was five years ago (he is now an anime NEET with a tulpa). I also had a few relationships that were very bad ideas.
That's it. I'm starting to think:
>am I really that horrible?
>will I ever form an honest, lasting human bond again?
I don't know what to do. The loneliness makes me restless and unhappy most of the time.
>>18053709
> The loneliness makes me restless and unhappy most of the time
This is the only issue I see here. Why aren't you able to be alone and happy? Everyone I know that have trouble being on their own are terrible people that actually dislike themselves. They constantly try to "hang" with me and other people, just to not be alone. That drives me fucking nuts and I imagine most people can't stand spending time with people unhappy with themselves that just won't fix their issues, but rather whine and complain about them
For others to love you, you must first love yourself.
>>18053709
I'm not sure if you're a horrible person or not but sometimes the odds are stacked against you if you are a certain way. And everything else from your age, your job, where you live, how you spend your time etc can just further stack the odds against you since it can restrict the types of people you can meet.
>>18054514
>For others to love you, you must first love yourself.
Sounds like self-help crap.
All that matters is looks and money
If you look good or tell me stuff that will help me make money I will be friends with you
>>18053709
>>18054617
I mean, there are decent people around, it's just that they run in different circles cos I guess they don't or have never fallen into the trap of sticking with dickheads or phonies.
>>18054618
>All that matters is looks and money
That's true to a certain extent but you forgot "outgoing" personality.