Okay so my ex has dominated my thoughts since we broke up last June.
>Start dating Senior year of High School
>Great relationship for four years
>Both in transition phases of life, deciding what we want to do.
>I finish school, get a good job but at a low position.
>start focusing on getting promotion
>Become complacent with relationship, put in less effort due to stress of work.
>She messages me one day while I'm at work saying she can't do this anymore and she needs to talk
>Meet up with her after work and she is crying, says she wants to take a break.
>Say I want to work things out but won't beg her to stay, just want her to be happy.
>Hug and kiss, she leaves crying.
>One month later: Posting beautiful selfies online, tons of guys adding her on instagram, hanging out with an old friend she hasn't seen since High School on a daily basis
>Going to clubs, bars, etc.
>Starts to get to me. She seemed so genuinely sad at first, but then went right into party mode.
>Guy comments on her picture three days after break up "yup, need." She deletes it.
>Guy posts snapchat of him at bar, see my ex in the corner with her girlfriends
>Guy I've never met before starts commenting on her pics
>See her tagged in pic with guy sitting next together, she comments a flirty face.
>realize she rebounded
>Snap and message her saying I cheated on her.
This was a moment of weakness and I honestly only said it because I had so much hope that we would work things out eventually, then see she wasn't who I thought she was.
I never cheated on her.
pt 2
>See her at party I was DJing at
>Lots of girls flirting and dancing with me
>She gives me dirty looks
>Her best friend she went to the party with starts making out with a random guy
>Think it was my ex, go inside disgusted
>See my ex babysitting a drunk person who was puking
>She stays by their side for the whole party
>She messages me after the party "You were fine, I didn't mean to give you dirty looks. I just wasn't expecting to see you there."
>Tell her no worries, would like to meet up and see her sometime in the future
>She doesn't respond
>She dumps her rebound a week before Christmas
final pt
>January I start using social media more. Posting pics and videos of me enjoying myself at parties and concerts
>Her friend tells me she was surprised how good I looked and happy I was
>She is tweeting about me weekly and tweeting about love and relationships and shit
>After three months of not speaking (last time was when I told her I wanted to see her) I message her saying I realized I was being crazy temporarily after the breakup. Was stressed out because we broke up a month before I got the promotion I wanted. Told her I was gonna ask her to move in with me and go on more vacations. Told her I never cheated on her, just over-reacted and wanted to cut ties with her. (I question if saying I wanted to cut ties with her made her think I'm shutting the door on her. I didn't spend much time re-reading the message before sending.)
>She reads it, doesn't respond. Tweets lots of hearts and smiley faces immediately after reading the message. Retweets some quote about love maddening the mind.
>Strong feeling she misses me, wants to see me too, but she is giving me radio silence.
So that message was about a week ago, no response. After she read my message she stopped using social media completely. hasn't posted anything since, which is unusual for her. She was posting selfies every few days.
Am I over-analyzing things? She's giving me super strong signals that she misses me, but I reached out to her and got no response. Is she testing to see if I'm going to chase her and show weakness? or am I supposed to send another message basically restating that I want to see her? I feel both have a 50% chance of failure. If I didn't say enough, and my message wasn't clear enough in saying I'm leaving the door open, then I'm screwed if I stick with no contact. But if she is testing me and just waiting to respond, sending another message might turn her off.
Please respond, this shit is driving me nuts.
She dodged a bullet. You sound fucking nuts.
You two sound like faggots who don't say what is on your mind. Unless you just started doing this after the breakup, then you kinda get a pass for the childish behavior. She still sounds kinda interested. I'm really direct when it comes to women.
I'd just go to her house and tell her to drive with me and tell her I want to get back together and I need to know right now if she wants to, but I don't want to play games. Leave the ball in her court.
Although, it technically is right now, she might be waiting for one more push before getting back with you.
>>18053470
ha this is a super compressed gestalt of the past better half of a year. We're pretty normal. She was in a party phase but she's been back to her old self for a while it seems.
>>18053472
So you're saying send one more message? What should my strategy be? Wait another few weeks, then say what?
The first thing that comes to mind is to straight up ask if she wants to meet up, but I don't know how to word that or contact her in that way without fucking up. Maybe recognize her silence and say something like "let me know if you're free sometime, it'd be nice to catch up." then never contact her again, let that be the last attempt.
>>18053472
OP don't listen to this guy, this is terrible advice.
Yeah break ups can be ugly, but things can still work out in the end. You did a good job with the "farewell for now" style letter. Since it's been three months of no contact, no way should you pursue her. That basically says you've been thinking about her non-stop for the past three months, or worse, were using no contact as a tool knowing you were going to contact her. Playing mindgames.
What you should do now is just chill out. You have a good chance of her reaching out since she is signalling interest, and you sent the letter pretty recently. Give her time and space to process the letter, think about what she misses about you (Valentines day was yesterday and she's single? She was definitely thinking about you.)
It also makes sense why she stopped her social media after the letter, it means that your letter most likely had a pretty big effect on her.
Just keep living life and if you honestly believe she'll come back, chances are she will. You just have to have faith, don't chase her, keep enjoying life and flirting with other girls. Do not chase her, let her come to you.
>>18053513
You should know her schedule. Just show up at her house when you know she will be home and knock on the door. Don't listen to the other faggot who thinks you need to keep playing this game of "don't make first contact" chicken.
I'm not saying be desperate. Just throw it all out there, not with the expectation that she will accept it. You just gotta tell her what you want, and maker her understand that YOU understand, that you can't make up her mind for her.
It's never a good idea man. Get a different girl or just be a hermit like me. She didn't leave you for no reason out of the blue. Girls aren't angels, she either was already talking to another guy or had another guy on her mind. Females branch swing from relationship to relationship to avoid feeling alone.
>>18053452
Not even going to read the story just leave her alone dude she's an ex for a reason and just leave it at that