I was able to keep myself together most of my life, with big

I've had friends like you. We never lose respect for you, fampai. We just know that something's wrong, but you won't let us in and help even though that's what we're here for. What can we do? Please don't push your friends away.

> find the truth
> seek the red pill

>>18048370

Some of them have, I can tell. It's mostly the immature one(s). I know four people who listen but it's hard for me to just come to them and ask for help.

>>18048387

A few of my friends took steroids and their lives have grown considerably better. I have them in my possession and my plan is that if life is still like this by time my next birthday comes around, then I'm done being a good person and trying to stick to the morals I believe in, like how I would like the world to be. I'll just lift and take the things I want even if it's not something I'd wish to see others do.

>>18048419

I guess to elaborate, I've always been the guy who's like a best friend to, you know, everyone. All my friends are essentially hooking up with each other. It's funny because despite being the center of my group of people in many ways, I just feel the most alone. This feeling is really what gets me the most... just feeling like I'm on my own. It's how I've felt all of my life; no support from anyone, not even my parents. This year, 2016, it just hit me like a ton of bricks as I see all of my friends start to get partners that will last longer than a fling. I just want a little support.

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>>18048419
You don't have to roid to feel better and get the benefits from lifting. I've been lifting natty for almost 2 years and I'm better than ever in almost all aspects of my life.
I even managed to attract a girl I'd consider way out of my league not too long ago.

I'm a bit scared of chemical effects on the body, I don't even take aspirin or other unnatural drugs, so roiding is probably not for me. I've also heard that you usually lose your muscles when you stop roiding, which you'll have to after a while or die from exploding heart etc..

>>18048425
>Refuse to establish deep connections with people
>Think that empathy and optimism are immature
>"omg why am I so lonely???"
99% of /adv/ threads are solved in OP's own post. Why are people so dense?

>>18048426

I've been lifting for many years too. I look good, but I'm still small. I'm 147 and 5'8 and almost no body fat at all. I know I look good. Girls give me attention. But I just don't have the confidence to truly act most of the time. My father used to make fun of me and call me ugly every day when I was a kid and I'll never get over that. I think steroids will inflate my ego enough to where I can just forget it. I'm already prone to having a big ego, and this will hopefully help.

A lot of girls have asked if I'm gay before. I don't have very much sexual experience. I man down a lot when girls clearly want me and I pretty much lost my dream girl because of that... which happened this year.

>>18048429

I have deep connections with 5 people. My 4 best friends who are guys, one of which considers me like a brother, and that "brother's" girlfriend. My closest friend is just not the type of person to go to for these types of things. The rest have all given me advice, but I'm stil paralyzed. Ive been like tjsi for half a year and its too much for them

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>>18048425
Sorry to break it to you mate, we're all alone here. Nobody really gives a shit about you. Every single relationship that has ever been formed in this world has ended. The rates these relationshits end at these days is increasing alarmingly fast.

Learn to be ok on your own. I've thought a lot about this so far in my life. What you're writing really resonates with me, I've always been a loner. Not unpopular or anything like that, but I've always felt alone. I played several sports, was captain of many teams, and a squad leader in the military. Do you feel like the leader of your social group? Being at the top is to be alone, that is the burden of leading/leadership, or being a man if you will. All men should be leaders, at least for themselves. If you're fine with being alone, this usually means that you can stand yourself and the things that go on inside your head. You can draw great strength from this like I have. When you love yourself others will see and might start loving you too. But don't rely on anyone but yourself.

>>18048430
147 at 5'8 isn't much, you could definitely benefit from gaining some mass/weight.
I was a spooky at 140 6'0, now gotten to 190 and it feels amazing to move around in a that much heavier body. It really does boost my confidence in any given scenario when I know that the other party has no way of forcing me to do anything I don't want to do.

They're probably asking you if you're gay because they don't understand why you're not hitting on them. They hope that you're gay, and not just uninterested in them.

>>18048440

I was okay with myself for the longest time. For the last 5 years I was. I have always been the leader and my friends have told me this before. One thing that you said really hits me, which is that it's important to be a leader for yourself. I sometimes I feel like I'm a leader to other people, but a slave to myself and my thoughts. All of this happened because of a girl, it always does with me. I get my perfect chance for someone I really like, and I just refuse to take it. I sabotage myself every time. I made a deep emotional connection with a girl, and she is still a close friend. I'll probably just ask her to help me find someone. Maybe she is my key, I don't know. I just feel unable to cross this huge barrier on my own because I've always failed.

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>>18048471

Sounds like you lack the ability to put yourself first. I've had issues with that once, and it was also because of a dumb girl. She was my gf for some time, and when she dumped me my world shattered. For the next couple years all I could think about was her. Every decision I made I considered how it would or could affect her. I had dialogues going inside my head with "my own version" of her, the perfect version. I always put her first, when we were a couple as well, and this is what led her to dump me. She didn't respect me because I respected her too much. She knew what a piece of shit she really was, so when I liked her as much as I did, in her mind, I was an even worse piece of shit than her. Female psychology is fugged.

Sabotaging yourself like that is an indicator of your subconscious beliefs, that you don't really believe you deserve her, or deserve success in that way you say you want. This needs to be fixed from inside you, she cannot help with this, and you probably won't be able to love someone until you love yourself enough to actually believe you can succeed. These aren't easy to fix problems, but realize that a shitload of males on this planet are struggling with similar issues. If you can pinpoint your issue you can research ways to work on them. And if one method isn't working, try something else. You only fail if you give up.

Hey anon what you said about your friends commenting on who you used to be versus who you are now really resonated with me. I've got recurrent major depression and I've been struggling with people telling me they hope I feel "more like myself again," and that pisses me right the fuck off because, as human beings, we're constantly changing and growing. I have a core self, yet the self of who I was over ten years ago isn't the same as the self now. I'm learning to accept myself who I am now in the present- not who I used to be or who everyone thinks I should be. Anon, people change and right now you're going through a lot and I feel for you. It's ducking scary to feel like you're losing your mind, your very self. I'm sure you're seeing a psychiatrist and counsellor and all that. Just know that you're not alone in asking these questions and feeling this way.