ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

How far do you travel to see your partner? If you're not seeing anyone now, how far did you travel to see your best ex? State your gender.
Use the time unit (30 min, 1 hour...).

>>18044770
5-30 minutes, maybe an hour if traffic was horrific. I live in a traffic heavy city.

Guys, if a girl told you to text her whenever, is there any reason, aside from not being interested in her, that you would not text?

I was 100% positive this guy liked me, so I texted him and ended the conversation telling him to text whenever he felt like it and now it's been a week or two and nothing. I've seen him in the meantime, so I know it's not like something major happened that's keeping him.

Just move on, yeah?

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I was with her for 7 years, our lives are branching, I have to set her free and I have. There is still nothing but love between us and I want only the best for her.

She's a hopeless romantic and I'm a pessimistic fuck so I've either forgotten or half-heartedly participated in every valentines day. The day still means fuck all to me but I know what she thinks of it.

To make it up to her I want to do it properly for her this time and I went and looked at a really nice ring today for her, quite expensive, I know she'll love it.

But she leaves in 2 weeks and even though I want her to stay, I don't want her to. I want her to go and do everything she wants to. But I'm worried that the gesture will make her get cold feet for it all, it took her a lot of courage to this point and I don't want to ruin it for her either...

Should I do it?

>>18044834
Do it, but don't let her stay on your account.

>>18044831
Hard to say really. Guys have to be really careful not to be too interested, way more careful than girls have to be. It's possible he hasn't texted you because you've seen each other in person in between and feels that he doesn't want to come on too strong by ALSO texting you.

If he's still showing signs of being into you then text him first.

>>18044834
Don't do it. If you really cared about her you would have shown her a wonderful Valentine's Day before it got to this point. You're only participating this time because she's leaving and you want her to think highly of you before she does. You don't love her, you want her to love you more.

girls, i'm a busy guy so it's hard for me to go out and be social, therefore hard to meet girls "naturally", so i prefer dating sites. i'm thinking about trying tinder, but i want to maximize my return, so what kind of pictures/bios/convos do girls really go for? i don't care if i have to lie, use props, etc.

>>18044831
If you're interested just contact him.

Chances are if he does like you he doesn't know what to talk about or doesn't want to come off too strong or desperate.

You won't know until you try anyway.

How do you get over the fact that someone you were with doesn't care about you? I don't understand how she could be with me for 7 months and not even still care in a platonic way. I'm starting to think she never loved me in the first place

>>18044842
>>18044852

I'll feel pathetic if I'm the one always chasing. I'm fine with being vulnerable, but he's got to be too, right?

I don't know how to interpret his in person behavior anymore.

male here any gender welcome to answer

How big a handicap is not having a drivers license/cell phone to dating in your experience?

>>18044860
What is she doing that indicates she doesn't care about you?

>>18044831
>>18044842
I agree with this guy. Myself I am like that, I learnt very early on in my teenage years that girls don't like the naggy 'always there' kind of guy I was. so now I hardly text and try to have all my conversations with women in person and only use social media as a means of organising said meetings. But, he may just be a jerk or really shy.

This girl and I were caught up in the manipulation of a sociopath and we're both hurt pretty badly by it. Any feelings we might have had for each other are associated with pain.

He's out of the picture but she and I argued a few weeks ago..we were shirty to each other, I apologized a week later and then fucked that up.

It's like we're strangers now. I want her to know I really care about her as a person, that I have feelings for her that I'd like to take slowly, and I really want to be able to talk to her genuinely and openly.

How do I do this?

>>18044871
Please tell us the backstory.

>>18044867
she hasn't tried to contact me at all and she just acts really coldly (basically ignoring me) whenever we run into each other

granted i deleted/blocked her on my social media after the break up and deleted all the tagged stuff of us together so maybe if that has something to do with it. she is the one who said she wanted to be friends though

>>18044831
Regardless of who I'm talking to, I don't typically start texting anyone unless I've got something substantial to say. I really prefer having most conversations in person and tend to be more "objective" oriented on the phone, meaning discussing plans or something. Of course I'll have casual conversations on the phone too, but probably nine times out of ten I'm not the one who initiates it. It's completely separated from my relationships with people and I think many other guys are like that too.

But when it comes to women, particularly one I've met recently and am interested in/she's interested in me, I'm especially particular about not trying to randomly text her too much because I don't want to seem way too invested too fast, especially if we meet in person frequently.

My point is, just cause you've given a guy the green light to text you whenever and he doesn't do it often does not necessarily mean he isn't interested in you, not at all. From the description it sounds like he's into you so you're probably making a concern out of nothing.

>>18044864
>I'll feel pathetic if I'm the one always chasing

Which is exactly what he's probably thinking. It's not chasing "all the time" to start one conversation even though it feels like it. This means that one of you has to be brave and make the first move and it could equally be either of you but it could also just be a case of you ripping the band-aid off and doing it yourself.

>>18044882
This means one of two things:

She doesn't care about you. Either she once cared about you and no longer does or she never cared about you in the first place, in which case it's a clear sign you should move on and find someone who does.

Or two, she does care about you and she's doing the best thing for both of you to be able to move on. In which case, move on.

>>18044884
We only see each other in group settings though, it's not like we hang out one on one.

I guess I thought I gave a clear signal that I wanted to know him better and got radio silence in return.

So if I don't text him again, is he going to assume I'm not interested?

>>18044882
That's typical behaviour from someone who is emotionally hurt. Doesn't sound like she doesn't care about you to me.

But yeah, blocking her and shit won't help your case. Doing that tends to lead to a situation where it's like well fuck you if that's how you want it to be then two can play at that game.

>>18044877
It's pretty complicated, but basically a mutual friend introduced me to her to set us up. She and I got along amazingly well, but he interjected and convinced me she was seeing someone else seriously, convinced her I was doing the same, then set her up with another friend of his, who knew what was going on and went along with it so he could be with her.

I'm not sure why, but the whole situation was perverse and sickening.

As far as things between us goes, she stopped seeing the other guy when she found out, the day before we left for winter break. She and I talked all break, I didn't know she'd stopped seeing that guy, let alone that she developed feelings for me, break ends, she tells me she doesn't feel that way about me anymore (which is news to me. Again, no idea she'd stopped seeing him.)

>>18044904
>I guess I thought I gave a clear signal

>every fucking thread

Guys don't take notice of hints. Even the ones we notice. Most dudes have experienced, at some point in their lives, misreading a cue and getting a negative response. Unfortunately, women tend to give out extremely negative responses where a gentler one would have sufficed, and no dude particularly likes to have a girl tell him "ew, no" or whatever her regular response is.

>>18044894
i'm trying, it's just hard to understand how someone can go from "i love you" to nothing. even though i no longer romantically love any of my other exes i still care about them as friends

>>18044905
i don't really regret blocking her 2bh. not being able to obsessively check on her and see her out with other guys has definitely helped speed up the recovery. i guess i can see how she might be offended at that although she's the one who dumped me

>>18044919
Trust me, I had a nasty breakup where the opposite happened. The guy left me for another girl and kept talking to me, letting me know how things were going and checking in on me. About 3 months afterwards, he started crying about how he made a mistake and was going to break up with her and asked me to wait for him to do so. Then months went by and he didn't mention it again...when I got up the courage to ask him about it, he laughed and said oh he was just upset.

Both of you giving each other the cold shoulder is much preferable than being tortured by prolonged contact.

>>18044904
Well then I suggest next time you're in that group setting try to initiate a one on one hang out of some sort and see how receptive he is to that. Try to get to know him more that way. If he gets more lone time with you and enjoys your company maybe then he'll open up a little more.

>So if I don't text him again, is he going to assume I'm not interested?
I don't know, timing is important in all this. If you never text him again starting right now I'm sure he'll get the hint eventually but if you go a couple nights without texting him he'd probably think nothing of it.

>>18044942
I don't think I want to ask him out with everyone else right there in the room. Even asking "can I talk to you over here" would be a dead giveaway.

This whole thing is frustrating. I sympathize with guys having to go through this all the time. I really thought getting to the next stage would be as easy as texting him and letting him know I wanted to hear from him. He seemed thrilled when I texted. I figured he'd jump at the chance to talk to me more.

>>18044949
>I don't think I want to ask him out with everyone else right there in the room.
When you're getting ready to leave just ask if he's got a quick second or something. If you know him at least a little bit he's not gonna think that's weird or anything. I don't know any guy who would. You don't have to talk about it in the middle of your group.

>Even asking "can I talk to you over here" would be a dead giveaway.
So? Whether you explicitly ask him out on a date or just talk to him one on one for a moment acting interested and talk about hanging out some time outside of your group it's a chance to talk to him with the purpose of getting to know him better. Now I understand lots of guys will miss the most obvious hints but try it out anyway. He probably won't anyway and he definitely won't if you ask him out but either way you're trying to get to see him outside your group setting, and you get there by talking to him about it.

>I really thought getting to the next stage would be as easy as texting him and letting him know I wanted to hear from him. He seemed thrilled when I texted. I figured he'd jump at the chance to talk to me more.
That ship has not sailed just cause he doesn't text much. There could be other factors like him being busy and/or like myself he might just not text too often. If he seemed thrilled when you texted him then I doubt he's gonna have much problem with talking to you in person. Try it out. You want to get to know him, so talk to him (in person).

>>18044949
Text him today, tell him there's a movie you want to see but your friends already saw it and ask if he wants to go.

I recently bonded a lot with a high school friend and so I suggested we started dating. We did. Once. I thought it went nicely. We didn't kiss or anything, though. I suggested to do it again soon, and she said yes. But then she kept saying she was busy because of college, etc. I didn't fully believe her so I confronted her about it and asked if there was another reason she didn't want to go out with me. And then she said it was because she still had feelings for her ex boyfriend that cheated on her (and stopped talking with two months ago); but also assured me she "loved" me and "cared" about me. She just didn't want to hurt me. I told her how cliché and lame that sounded, but she said it was true. I then told her maybe dating me would make her forget about him, and she agreed. Yet, things went the same. She still texted me a lot, but couldn't go out because of "something"; this time, though, she assured me she was REALLY busy.
I'm fed up with her, but at the same time don't want to hurt her. What's wrong with her? Is she just very selfish? Is she actually innocently confused? I do have a deep affection for her but I'm really, really fed up at the same time and it's making me feel like shit.

>>18045004
If she's causing you more grief than happiness it's time to move on.

>>18045004
She's not into you and you should have accepted that the first time.

>>18045004
What's happening is she's totally into him and not you but you're into her. Now she might think you're a swell guy and all but she is not over him and it's no use trying to date someone who (most likely) ultimately sees you as a placeholder. And every time she says she's busy, even if she means it you'll have that thought in your mind that it means she talked to him again and it became priority over seeing you.

It sucks but it sounds like high time you distanced yourself from her.

>>18045009
Yes, you're probably right. It's hard because I had such a great time at the beggining. But It's true it haven't since...

>>18045013
She got really upset when I confronted her about it and assured me she was into me; but needed time. I believed her because she insisted. But yeah, maybe she was ""being nice"".

>>18045023
>>18045009
>>18045013
Okay, I get it now. I have made my choice. I think I better stop texting her/thinking about her.
Thanks for the answers.

>>18045037
Good luck man, I would like to be wrong but you're probably doing yourself a favor in the long run.

>>18044770
Single male, but 1 hour is the most I'm willing to do.

Of course, the closer the better, but if I only dated women based on relative distance, I would be dating some pretty awful women.

Girls,

Would you be okay with dating a guy who travels often?

Assume that you can go with him if you want, but you don't want to because
>you have school/work that is limiting your freedom
>you have prior arrangements that make it difficult for you to go
>you're just not interested in going to certain countries
>you're just not into traveling at all

Would you be okay with him going by himself?

Reasons I ask this is because I've started traveling recently, and my goal is to travel more. I would definitely love to take my girlfriend with me, but I realize that the girl that I end up dating might have different views and priorities. However, I also don't like being controlled in a relationship, so if she can't come with me, I won't force her, but I'm also the kind of guy who doesn't back down from his goals.

Is this something that could cause complications in a relationship?

Guys, from a girl.
I've been slowly getting to know a guy who is very shy and kind of a loner. After about four months of getting to know him and him either ignoring my subtle hints about dating or just honestly being oblivious, I brought up the idea of a FWB arrangement (in the context of stress relief and I find him attractive) and he gave me the most disgusted no a person could muster. When I asked why, he said he he doesn't "go around fucking things for no reason anymore."
Why would he say that/what does he mean? Should I bother trying to be friends with him? I feel like I'm in shock and numb after the way he turned me down.

>>18045073
It means he doesn't want to just be fucked and forgotten. A FWB implies you don't have any feelings beyond friendship and obviously he's sick of just casual sex instead of a relationship. Asking hm out would've worked better but suggesting FWB implied a completely different thing.

>>18045073
Some people find sex to be a precious thing. Something to be done with a partner you love & respect.

He must've been hurt in the past from FWB situations, and doesn't want to have sex anymore unless it's within a meaningful capacity.

>>18045073
he wants a relationship, not just meaningless sex. i'd guess he's probably been through this shit before and just wants a girlfriend.

>>18045079
>>18045085
>>18045088
So do I apologize or what? I mean, I think I see why he could be mad at me if it looks like I had alterior motives for being his friend, but I still can't figure out if he's too dense to get my signals or not interested in me for a relationship anyway. I'm just feeling real sick over all this since I do like him and now he is quite obviously pissed at me.

>>18045110
Well, if you want to apologize, then at least do it for being too forward/direct with him.

Don't lie to yourself. Be honest. Don't apologize for wanting his dick, but at least apologize for pressing him too hard.

Or don't. I don't know if you'll ever make a full recovery from this. I generally don't end up dating women who wanted my dick for no good reason.

>>18045110

If all you want to do is just fuck him, then you're better off leaving him alone. It's clear he's looking for something more than casual sex, and if you can't bring the level of emotions and love to the table, you might as well be nothing to him.

To me, it sounds like all that's happening here is you find him attractive, whereas he's looking for much more.

Thinking of Valentines presents

What do you think of fancy marshmallows with a mug and hot chocolate to melt them in for someone who addresses me as Marshmallow?

>>18045124
This.

>>18045127
>celebrating a fake holiday designed to increase revenue for targeted markets and to put huge sexiest pressure on the populace
Literal cuck

>>18045154
It's actually not Valentines, it's our 1 year anniversary, it just happens to be really close

>>18045070
No, as long as he is sensitive about it
Don't go on a trip to China on my birthday, invite me every time, try to accomodate my needs a bit and include in stuff

>>18044770
We have been together for 9 years, for 4 we lived together, the rest was LD.
5-6 hours by train for 2 years.
45 minutes-1 hour by car for 2 years.
2 hours by plane + 2 hours by car/train for 6 months

>>18044770
The next time we meet I'll travel from 4am to way over 7pm
We live in different countries and couldn't find a better combo of flights and buses

>>18044770
My boyfriend lives a 45 minute train ride away in the city. It's not a big deal, I went to uni in the city for 6 years so I'm used to the commute. His parents live 10 minutes walk away and he did live with his parents while he was studying though.

>>18045154
>Noooo! STOP ENJOYING THINGS!!

Please tell me if I'm about to make a horrible mistake
The last two girls I've been interested in I misread their signs horribly. The first I thought was just being incredibly friendly and didn't ask out until it was too late and the second I took her friendliness as interest and sort of embarrassed myself entirely by trying to go on a date with her that turned out to not be one

There's this third girl I'm decent friends with and she has been giving me what I think are signs and I want to try again so I can at least take a step towards fixing my autism towards women. She brought up how Her club on campus is doing this valentines day fundraiser where you can buy flowers chocolates etc to give people

Would it be very silly if I bought the flowers, then once she delivered them to me I gave them back to her and did...I didn't really think this part out to be honest, but should I even bother?

>>18045261
Let's just make it a blanket rule that you shouldn't make your move on Valentine's Day ever. Just don't.

>>18045268
That was my initial mindset for about ever but her bringing up the flowers and a lot of other things make me feel like she sort of wants me to. If it were anyone else I'd just think they really wanted me to give their club money but she's not very good at being sly about stuff at all so I can't imagine it's just that.

Still though I'm hoping I can do it today instead so worst case scenario I don't end up with a nasty taste in my mouth whenever the holiday comes around.

Aside from the valentines day setting what do you think of the plan? I figured if she reacts in a less than romantic way I could just say I got it for her as a friend gift or something. Does it make me a coward if I start thinking of escape routes like this?

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What's the point in even trying to attract anyone when I'm easily replaceable by someone far better than me? I'm average in all fields of life, there's nothing special about me. I don't excel at anything (I make good excel spreadsheets though). I suspect my complete averageness in all fields of life, mental, physical and social is why I have only had sex once and have only had the occasional cup of coffee with someone that don't lead anywhere.

What's the point? I'd just end up embarrassing myself in bed IF the relationship ever progresses to that stage.

>>18045286
You can improve yourself and become amazing in some aspect.
You can find someone who loves you in your average-ness.
When they say that love is blind they mean this - you don't need to actually be spectacular to be considered spectacular by someone who loves you.

I'd also suggest going to therapy, you seem to have a really negative mindset.

Simple question. Do girls like thick eyebrows? I've been told I have a good all around face.

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>>18045292
>you seem to have a really negative mindset.
It's hard to not fall in a rut of negativity when your social circle gets loving partners and questions you about your single-ness. They most likely suspect I enjoy having casual sex, but I've been wandering in Sahara when it comes to anything sexual for years. I don't dare to disclose this to even my longest standing friend, because of the shame of it.

>>18045312
If my best friend told me something like this, I definitely wouldn't shame them.

You have a huge problem with your own perception of yourself - this isn't about what others think of you but about what you think of you. Go talk to someone about this, try to improve yourself and love yourself more.
You really seem to be hurting a lot.

>>18045272
I guess I am over thinking and ended up spewing something incoherent

>>18045286

Yeah, you're right. Nobody wants to settle for average. They only go for the most exceptional.

Sounds like you're gonna have to find someone either really fat or retarded

>>18044865
The driving thing isn't much of an issue, but cell? Care to join us in the new millennium? Constant, immediate contact can make or break a relationship.

>>18045318
I know it's a poisonous self-reinforcing cycle of thinking, but it's hard to break out of it when all my earlier attempts with finding a partner, romantic or sexual, have been failures, except for that one drunken fling years ago. Others seem to do it with ease, why is it so hard for me?

>>18045340
>Others seem to do it with ease, why is it so hard for me?

Not the same Anon that has been replying, but that question sticks up for me.

Not that many people have an easy time with that. I know how it looks from the outside, but it's not like ll guys just hook up whenever they want.

And just getting someone is only half the battle. Where I'm from there's a phrase: "Better lonely than in bad company". I know a couple people that always are with someone, but that's because they are just desperate, so they hook up with desperate people and then drive each other crazy for a few months before breaking up and going into a depression for a few more months.

So yeah, don't worry. We all struggle. Even the ones that "get the girl".

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>have received an anonymous Valentine's day gift
>get the feeling it's the ugly girl I talk to sometimes

O-oh god, what do I do?
I feel really fucking bad about not feeling the same way towards her primarily because of how she looks, but it's what it is

I definitely shouldn't include that if I have to turn her down gently, right?

>>18045361
There's struggling, but gaining positive results in the end and then there's struggling without the positive feedback loop that gives one strength to continue struggling. I can easily see why some people resign to a sad life of perpetual loneliness without physicality or intimacy, though I think in >>18045340's case there's at least some fighting spirit left there.

>>18045398

I'm dealing with the break-up of one of my friends right now, so let me say this is not a "struggle with positive results". Quite the contrary. He want's to move to another state after this last girl dumped him and he is not talking out of his ass. I know him, he will probably do it.

Just because they get a little high for two or three months doesn't mean the relationship was "good" for them.

And please, this is not a "sour grapes" moment. I know people that are very happy in their dedicated relationships. What I want is to point out that just "getting the girl" doesn't make one happy. Plenty of people do that and make themselves miserable.

I need a women's prospective,

I recently took up a welding class that, as you can probably guess, is almost all male. There is only one girl in the class, and I've taken a bit of a likeing to her. We've talked a bit in the past few weeks during and after class, and the way she acts and a few of her comments have hinted toward her maybe being interested in me as well. I might jusy be misreading her being friendly though.

Reguardless, Im assuming she would be defensive towards or actively against an advance in a place where she is the only women in a room full of mid to late 20 something men. So without much experience under my belt, how do I come off as not just another guy grabbing for the only chair because the music stopped playing?

>>18045422
>how do I come off as not just another guy grabbing for the only chair because the music stopped playing?

Are you, though? Because if you are, no trick will mask that fact.

Now, if you aren't, then she will be able to tell, too. She will understand you actually like her and are not just thirsty. Good luck.

Are men dogs?
Are dogs men?

>>18045411
I have a friend who has had far less relationships than me and the others and has by all accounts a high self-esteem and confidence. He ended up once opening up to me once how it's incredibly frustrating not to be able to find a relationship, while dropping the names of our social circle who go in and out relationships and telling me he's envious of them because of that, while saying that it's me who he envies the most because I have a stable relationship with a great woman.

I think what I'm trying to get across is that the high-esteem friend has suffered a couple of blows on his self-image specifically because of the failure of not finding a partner. It sucks hard to be in a bad relationship, but it also sucks hard to fail to find one.

>>18045392
Return the gift and tell her you don't feel the same way.

>>18045430
>Are men dogs?
>Are dogs men?
No

Do all women treat men like their dogs?

>>18045477
It's probably just going to be a bunch of cookies, won't it feel worse if I reject the gesture? I want to ackowledge that she confessed to me at least.

generally speaking, a girl who expresses that she is grateful to have met/befriended you, and at times seeks advice, is not a girl who is even remotely romantically interested in you, correct? hate to use the term but it seems like some friendzone shit (which is perfectly fine, im not pursuing this person)

ive made a new (female) friend recently and we got pretty close pretty fast, yet she can be very hard to read. sometimes i think im getting mixed signals but it might just be my imagination. chicks are a lot more open about sexuality and their bodies, so i cant even take talking about fetishes or being shown a somewhat revealing selfie to mean anything necessarily. one friend of mine thinks she likes me, another is certain otherwise (they're both girls too, if it matters).

she is in the process of breaking up with a long distance boyfriend, during which she has described what kind of guy she hopes to get next time around and it honestly sounds like shes describing me, like, 100%. im a fat dork with little confidence though. a cool fat dork, but still.

i dunno. just feelin a bit weird about it all. i dont wanna catch feelings as a result of my curiosity/confusion

I got drunk at a party and hugged about 10-20 girls and felt up their butts

I'm attractive so will I be ok?
Or am I going to get on the sex offender registry

>>18045480
I don't know, I don't have experience with this. But I would feel bad for getting a gift and offering nothing in return.

>>18045504
Fuck off, Chad!

>>18045496
Flip it around, maybe she thinks you are being hard to read. Make your intentions known and let her react. If you keep her as a friend, she will think you only want her as a friend.

>>18045517
I'm a robot at heart

I am having intense internal debate with myself if I should or should not send a text saying "I really want to take you out on a date, you know that?" or something similar to someone or not.

I met this woman from another country on a week-long holiday at a hostel we both resided in with our groups of friends. The groups ended up partying a lot together and the woman in question took a liking to me, as far as I could read her. We exchanged numbers and had a kind of bittersweet moment between us on the day I had to leave.

We ended up texting here and there, but nothing really that could resemble a conversation. I asked about a month ago if she'd like to have a weekend off somewhere together, to which she replied that we should discuss this after her high workload clears. It's been a month of no contact from either party and I'm here practically ripping my hair out because I just don't know what the fuck is going on and would it be just for the best to cherish the week and forget about it.

I guess guys can answer too, but I'd like a woman's perspective.

>>18045560
Please, someone?

>>18045560
Have you tried just messaging her asking how she is?

>>18044762
How many college girls have never had sex,

>>18045680
probably like 20, nationwide

>>18045682
20 percent?

>>18045685
no, a number.

>>18045680
Well. There are approximately 11.7M college girls.
Statistics say that at 18 around 30% of girls are still virgin, and at 24 around 8% of them are. So let's say that around 18% of college girls are virgin? Seems about alright?

So, yeah - there are around 2 millions of virgin college girls, pretty much.

>>18045714
So probably around 22% at 20? Assuming the trend is linear?

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>>18045722
They aren't linear. Most girls lose their virginity either at 17 or at 19, it seems.

Girls, how important is a guy having a completely flat, low %bf stomach?

Are you into a guy you met only a few times during classes when you constantly suggest him to contact you in some way (we both have Facebook but I never said anything to her through it) or go out sometimes (we both like sweets)
Why would she do that otherwise when she's the hot shit in the uni? I'm thinking it's some shit girl logic because I'm literally the only guy who doesn't give her attention (I'm suicidal and tired of life and people)

u are gay and i hate you. jk

>>18045741
I personally don't like seeing abs. It looks weird. A little amount of belly fat looks great on guys, especially overall athletic dudes.
Just don't have your belly hanging or an enormous beer belly.

My boyfriend is getting fit and I like his body less now than when he was a bit chubbier.

>>18045741
Not a girl but I think the general consensus is a decent hint of abs is ideal. So assuming at least half a year of lifting around 14%bf.

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posted this in another thread, didn't get any replies. hoping for some here.

I'm pretty stuck right now.

I've been hanging out with a friend of mine for a while now. We've been friends for years, but I never liked her until recently, and that was only after she kissed me when we were drunk.

We banter back and forth, she makes fun of me, I make fun of her, she calls me names, I call her names back.

She messages me first a lot too. Usually to rant about something though.

Now here's the thing - she's "dating" someone out of state. I don't want to get inbetween them, and I always wish her the best, but today she was a little different. Just a bit.

We also briefly talked about our sex life, mainly her, but I chimed in too.

We went to a bar a week ago, she got pretty drunk and tried making me dance with her. She bumps into me when we're sitting at the table, and she ALWAYS sits next to me. She also makes fun of me if I don't drink or drink my drinks fast enough, like she's challenging me.

I'm not sure where to go from here.

I do like her, BUT I am okay if nothing happens, however I don't want to ruin a friendship I've had with her, because it was for at least 10 years now - and it wasn't because I liked her. Again, I wasn't attracted to her until pretty recently.

A mutual friend of mine actually asked me If I'd ever consider dating her, and NORMALLY when someone asks this, it's because the person in question had asked them to do it, but he swears she did not. I do believe him however.

He says we would be perfect together since we already argue like a married couple. My brother says the same thing as well.

>>18045756
My boyfriend was at 18% and he's down at 12%, I preferred when he was 18%, by far.

>>18045768
18% is pretty fat. I'm not sure you really understand what 18% is.

Was hanging out with group of friends when one of my friends blurted out anon thinks ur hot to one girl loudly . She started tapping at her phone and asling her friend a random question with a nervous smile on her face but the rest of the day she kept making eye contact with me.

I have her number and was going to ask her to go out but I don't know if she felt always or actually likes me

>>18045771
I sadly do - I have been hearing him talk about his body fat percentage for the last year and half.
I liked him with a bit of fat, it looked really nice on him.
I guess that when he was at 16% he was probably at his best, now that he's pretty fit I think he looks worse overall.

Then, honestly, he's happier with his body as it is today and wants to cut more, and it is fine for me. Just personal taste.
I prefer him with a bit of extra belly fat than with super ripped abs.

>>18045785
Look, people in general have a misconception of bf% at 16% you definitely have a belly that bulges out unless you're a genetic freak. Much more so at 18%. At 12% on the other hand you will likely have a fully visible six pack.

>>18045757
Just ask her out, on a date date, not a friend date.

>>18045757
>>18045757
>>18045757
>>18045757
>>18045757

please respond

>>18045788
Those are the percentages he told me, it was 18% when he started working out seriously and it is something less than 12% now.

He had a bit of a belly but nothing excessive. He didn't look obese, he looked a bit chubby, I think it suited him nicely. At 16% he looked perfect - manly, strong but kind of elegant.
At 14% he was still fine, now he started looking like one of the dudes teenage girls masturbate on.

I dislike seeing his abs, as I dislike seeing abs on guys in general - I'd do John Hamm over any Calvin Klein model any day.

>>18045793

cool story, but you're not even asking anything.

>>18045815

I dont know what to do.

>I do like her, BUT I am okay if nothing happens, however I don't want to ruin a friendship I've had with her, because it was for at least 10 years now - and it wasn't because I liked her. Again, I wasn't attracted to her until pretty recently.

Girls

Do female sex drives drop as you age?

I'm noticed that some of the girls I've met between 18-22 ALWAYS talk about sex. It's always on their mind. Whereas a few 26-28 years old I've talked to never say anything about it, and we've just had intelligent conversations.

I'm 26, and have only had sex one time when I was 18. So, I'm pretty intimidated by the younger girls. They are 6-7 years younger than me, but way more sexually active and have way more experience then me. I can't compete with that. I'd fail from lack of experience

>>18045827
FUCKING ASK HER OUT YOU DUMBSHIT. It's obvious you both like each other.

>>18045830
Yeah, as guy's sexual drive diminishes. It's pretty normal, as you age, to become less horny.

Also - it's not a competition. You don't have to compete with anybody. There is no need to be intimidated by anybody - meet people, have sex with those you like, and try to make the best out of it.

>>18045838
Lots of people won't say it, but yes it is, specially for men.

>>18045838
>meet people, have sex with those you like, and try to make the best out of it.
you make it sound so easy when it's not
t. virgin at 22

>>18045866
It cannot be that difficult, since the majority of people are out there having sex.

>>18045865
It isn't if you don't want it to be.
Do you think that after you fuck a girl she will publish a rating of your performance online and you'll be competing with other guys in your area to be the statistically best lay? Do you think that after you've fucked she will lay there thinking "oh, his dick was 25% bigger than Tom's, but his oral sex made me orgasm after 7 minutes, while Tom managed in just 5 minutes"?
There's no competition, it is just inside your head.

>>18045882
>It cannot be that difficult, since the majority of people are out there having sex.
Well clearly it's easy for the majority, but not for me. It's making me angry, frustrated, ashamed, envious and sad.

>>18045882
That's why I said it's for men, of course it's not an actual competition, but between men it unconsciously is, intra-male and so on. There always this nagging doubt in your heads that there's someone better than me out there and I could lose her at any moment. Every single man has this doubt, it maybe worse on some and others deal better with it, but it's always there. You are stuck playing a game you can never win. Sometimes even when you’re cuddling with your girlfriend there’s a voice inside your head saying that if Chad was here she’d jump into his arms and leave you in an instant, and since that’s the case, you will never feel 100% secure.

>>18045866
>>18045898

Are you good at making friends? Hanging out? Sharing a meal?

Or would you say that stuff is hard for you too?

There are no "wrong" answers here, I just want to know.

Embarrassing question to the other girls :

I'm a virgin and only ever kissed guys. However I went out with my friends and got drunk, and dry humped one guy a lot.

It's been two days now but I'm constantly wet since then. Is this normal? I haven't had it like this before.

I probably sound underaged, but I'm just ignorant in this sort of stuff

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>>18045312
Yeah, this. My friends do always joke about my lack of girlfriend and even dates, all the time, this is one of primary topics and it always comes up more or less if we ever decide to hang out. I don't tell anything from my personal life and it became a target for poisonous jokes. One female uni mate also tend to joke about me being forever virgin. I guess, I am just creepy and it is ingrained in my behavior, yet I am not unable to recognize it.

>>18045913
I have no trouble making friends, I can share a meal or a cup of coffee otr hang out with just about anyone.

You can now probably see why I am so frustrated, because by all accounts I am completely normal except the sex and intimacy part and I can't for the life of me figure out what the fuck is wrong with me.

>>18045923

At least we narrowed it down. Now we know it's something specific to sex and intimacy.

Have you ever had a GF? Even if no sex happened. Or at least have you had a date? Have you kissed someone? Held arms while walking down the street?

Don't worry if you haven't. Pretty normal on this board.

>>18045898
Well, it's probably nothing that can't be fixed and it is definitely up to you to fix.
Maybe if you want to tell us what doesn't work out with girls we can help you.
Are you physically attractive? Do you ask girls out?

>>18045906
>There always this nagging doubt in your heads that there's someone better than me out there and I could lose her at any moment.
It is more an insecure person doubt than a men doubt. A lot of insecure girls feel the same way.
Truth is - yes, there's someone better out there. There's someone hotter than you, or smarter than you, wealthier than you, more likeable than you. And there is someone better than her out there.
But love is kind of blind - I cannot tell you that I never met a men better than my boyfriend in some aspect, but I can tell you that I've never met a man who made me feel in the same way my boyfriend does.
Choosing a person to grow old with is an extremely subjective process, sometimes you meet someone who is "objectively" worse than other guys but is just the best for you.

>>18045934
>Don't worry if you haven't. Pretty normal on this board.

And not that normal in real life.

>>18045936
I don't think it's an 'insecure person' thing because a) everyone is insecure to some extent, but most people just deal with it in an adult manner; b) it's not all bad a thing, a man that is 100% secure tends to be complacent and take things for granted; it's because of this doubt that we try to be better boyfriends and husbands all the time.

>>18045946

Why focus on that part? That's not gonna solve your problem. Focus on the task.

Have you ever done any of the above? If not, why not?

>>18045838

>don't be intimidated

I'm the Op to the question, but it's very intimidating.

It's like being someone who knows nothing about hockey, but having to go play against a very experienced hockey player, who's much younger than you.

Especially being a guy. At 26, I'm expected to have had several girlfriends and be very experienced with girls/sex/relationships.

>I've never had a girlfriend (granted this was by choice)
>I've had sex once when I was 18

>>18045934
Yes to all three, my few dabblings at relationships just don't progress beyond the occasional dating.
>>18045936
>Are you physically attractive? Do you ask girls out?
my face is probably at 5-7/10 range and I have a normal body and average height. I kind of gave up with asking girls out after my last try at it that never progressed beyond occasional dating.
>>18045934
Yes to all three.

>>18045957
>Yes to all three, my few dabblings at relationships just don't progress beyond the occasional dating.

Awesome! Then you both met girls AND were charming/interesting enough to pay attention to. But you say it never progressed. Why? What happened there?

>>18045951
It is a pretty clear sign of insecurity. Both about yourself and about the relationship.
What you said in the first point is true, everyone is a bit insecure, but you should worry if your insecurities ruin good things.
Being secure doesn't mean taking things for granted. I'm pretty secure of myself and my relationship, but I try to be a better girlfriend all the time because I fucking love my boyfriend. That's more than enough of a motivation.
The idea that I have to be good because otherwise I'll lose him seems so stressing. You'll be a piece of shit sometimes, and if your partner loves you they'll keep loving you.

>>18045955
There is no reason to be intimidated, tho. It is not a competition. You aren't "playing against" someone, you're playing with someone, who is probably fine with teaching you how to play hokey.
There are plenty of inexperienced young girls, some inexperienced not-so-young girls, and basically if you and your partner care about each other no one gives a shit.

>>18045957
How many girls have you asked out? How many girls have you dated?

>>18044762

Please help me in this situation with this girl. I'll make it as short as possible.

Met girl from my college, thought she was cute so I asked her for her number which she gave me. Our exams have ended and we had holidays so she had to go home (she lives far away in my city). I texted her the same week and asked her if she's in my city next week to try to set up a date. She said she will actually come here only for one day for some theathre play and I said we could go for drinks after that, she agreed. On that day she flaked. She said that it will be too late in the evening when this theathre ends and that she sorry but she would like to postpone in to the other day. I said no problem hit me up when you're free I'm here until Monday (to show her I still have life and won't wait for her until forever). She said »deal:)«She didn't hit me up (probably because she knew she will go home). I texted her to reestablish connection which went well.

Now today our school started again and I texted her yesterday to set up a date. I opened with some cheesy pick up line to just fuck around a little bit and I don't think she really got it over text. Then I tried to move conversation to setting up a date, by linking it to her responsens. I basically said: well, we could do that (something I mentioned in texts before) but I was thinking about casual drinks. She said that drinks will be just fine. After that I texted her that great, when are you free this week? This conversation was yesterday late at night and she still hasn't responded when she is free.

I think I scared her off or pushed her away with our last chat. I came off to agressive or like a player, maybe even needy (I hope not, I was just trying to set up a date) and she probably thinks I just want to fuck her.

>>18045936
>ask girls out

nah i stopped that after a few dozen rejections in a row

How can I know if I actually fell for her or if it is just infatuation?

>>18045975

2/2

What the fuck do I do now? I really like this girl but I know she won't reply if she hasn't replied by now. Should I just call/text her that I don't know what's wrong but I hope I didn't scare her off and that I'm not really good at texting but wanna see her in person. Or should I just completely ignore everything and start new conversation. Or not talk to her at all? Thanks for helps guys.

>>18045979
Protip- there is no difference.

>>18044770
25-30 min.

>>18045971

It's still intimidating and stressful. You're a girl, so it's different for you. If you were a good looking girl, and said you haven't see a naked dude in 6 years, I wouldn't think any less of you. If anything, that's more attractive.

But I'm a guy. I'll absolutely get judged. That girl I had sex with. I never told her I was a virgin, but she figured it out real quick and I got a lot of questions like "wait you're a virgin?? How?? Why?" It was humiliating.

>>18045961
>Why? What happened there?
I just simply don't fucking know. Maybe it's with me feeling insecure as fuck for being a virgin when all others have at least some experience? Maybe I'm just too fucking stupid to read signals? Maybe the girls were too kind to say "no" and stuck with it for some reason? Maybe I'm just a boring loser?

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>>18045952
For me, I didn't have any of three. Honestly, I am seriously fearful about developing romantic relationships and about intimacy overall. Was previously made fun of and mocked by women, now it doesn't happen, but I have no will to form any relationships beyond friendly ones, yet I still crave it, still staying very paranoid about every interaction. If someone jests on me, I am able to answer back and continue with laughing, however, it does feel somehow painful.

Maybe I am just a sensitive faggot.

>>18045979

Masturbate to a picture of her 3 times in a row. Until you're completely drained. If you still are really into her after that exhaustion. Then you like her. If not, infatuation

>>18044850
That is so not true, you're not inside the guys mind. Everyone ducking thinks t hey know people on this board.
>>18044834
Do it, but if she starts to get cold feet comfort her and tell her to go and do what she wants to do. Don't have her stay because of you. If she doesn't leave it's on her own accord, not yours.

>>18045747
come on, there's no answer for this from a girl?
Or a guy, whatever, I need some insight into the female psyche.

>>18045979

Simple test:

Do you have more female friends besides her?

How long since you know her? More than a month?

Do you do stuff together outside of where you met (class, work, etc.)?

Are you sure she fell for you too?


The answer has to be YES to all of them before we begin considering it's not a crush. If you got a NO then stop obsessing.

>>18045992

You were there. Think back. Find what happened. We can't tell you that. You are the one that knows.

>>18045973
>Asked?
10 I guess
>Dated?
3

>>18046008
I meant is it more so that I genuniely fell for her, or do I just have some childish crush that will fade quickly.

But, really everything that you listed I can answer yes to, except for the part about if she fell for me. That is still unknown

>>18045997
I can't even masturbate to the thought of her most of the time....

>>18045993

So... don't force it. Don't do it to prove you can or because you "have to do it". Wait until you meet someone interesting enough to be worth making the effort.

Also, a professional could walk this process with you better than a rando on the internet like me. Setting aside deep seated insecurities is not the work of a day or two.

>>18045990
You're the one judging yourself, no one else is judging you.
I don't think that that girl's comment was meant to humiliate you - it seems like she was just surprised that you were virgin, like you were too good to be virgin.
And, really, you're just stressing yourself.

My boyfriend recently turned 31, when we met he was 27 and he didn't have sex for nearly 6 years. He married when he was 19 and then stayed in a shitty, sexless marriage for most of his 20s. When he told me I was surprised, and then I was just thinking that I really needed to make that 5 years dry spell worth it.
He's pretty good in bed, I enjoy myself and I love being with him.

>>18046020

What do you do when you hang out?

Also, is she single? How long since her last relationship?

>>18046031
Just BS around random shit. It's been a while since we hung out though.

As far as I know, she's single and hasn't had a relationship yet.

>>18046015
Well one ended out of the blue, she just said after a couple of weeks that this isn't working out so better to just stay friends.

Another one ended after 4 months and the girl said that it's not about me it's about her and that I deserve something better, probably to protect my feelings or some shit.

Third just eventually withered away after the girl just decided to stop replying to me.

So after the third rejection I gave up trying.

>>18046035
>Just BS around random shit

What does this mean? "Bullshit" around random shit? I don't understand that answer.

>>18045975
>>18045982

Bump. Anyone care to help?

>>18046037

That sounds like you didn't make a move when they were expecting a move.

What was "dating" them? What did you do together?

>>18046042
I meant just talk about what ever shit pops into our heads. Basically anything really

>>18046052

Where were you doing this? Your homes? Walking down the street? Slacking after class?

>>18046028

So what am I suppose to do if a girl is talking lewd to me. Ive never cuddled with someone before, I have no idea how to do that. I don't know how to take a bra off, I don't know shit about foreplay. I don't even really know how to properly make out. I doubt I'd even last more than 11 pumps.

What girl could possibly be ok with that? A 26 year old guy who knows nothing about any of that.. there is no way

>>18046061
Usually during out dead zone before class and sometimes right after class as we walked towards the parking lots where we parked

>>18046067

That's not hanging out, though. That's just small talk. I do that my my coworkers and I'm not gonna fuck any of them.

This sounds more like an acquaintance. I wouldn't even call this a "frinedship"

>>18046050
Well with the first one we just had a couple of coffees during the couple of weeks until she rejected me.

The second one, we went to bars, couple of dinners, movies and sometimes just walked around the city talking like a cute fucking couple which makes me even angrier looking back at it.

Third wasn't that different from the first.

>>18046077
Are people just deciding to date after only knowing each other for a few minutes/hours really a thing?

>>18046076
Er.. Maybe, we have hung out out in the Campus Gardens a few times.

And we still have spoken for hours on end via text. Typically when we do talk its over the course of 6-10 hours.

>>18046079

Well, the point of dating is to get to know someone better...

>>18046084
Oh.
I've been going about this the wrong way then.


Holy shit.

>>18046077

Again, that sounds like "not making a move". Ever invited them to your place? Or suggested going to a hotel? Ever cope a feel during a movie? Slapped her ass as she was walking in front of you?

Ever made a move remotely sexual?

>>18046063
It is not really so difficult to understand how sex works. It comes really, really natural for most of us.
Unless I'm there just for the sex, I wouldn't mind if the sex wasn't the best as long as he wants to put effort and get better. I wouldn't mind explaining my boyfriend how to get me off either. Create an emotional bond before going for sex, be honest and say you're inexperienced.
Read online, research and just be open and honest.

Your problem is your opinion of yourself, not other's opinion of yourself. You're the one talking shit of you and you're entering a cycle of "I am inexperienced > I suck > I shouldn't even try to get girls because I suck > I don't have a girl so I'm inexperienced".
There is no way out unless you break the circle and try.
You seem to be a valuable person overall, you're not JUST a 26 year old semi-virgin or whatever - there's more to you.
You're cockblocking yourself, honestly.

>>18046089

You date to find out if you actually like someone, and if they like you. If you both like each other. THEN you form a relationship and become boyfriend/girlfriend

>>18046098
If that were true, there would be very few rejections.

>>18046079
I had known two of them for years, ironically the best one out of them was the second one who I had met a day earlier before calling her and asking her out.

I've been seeing this girl every week or two since mid December. We had a great first date, and I knew that she was a few months out of a 3 year relationship with her high school sweetheart, as she was set up for me through a friend.
We've had a few social gatherings, five official dates, our sixth tomorrow where we're getting food for a couple of hours. No official Valentine's Day mention from either of us. No escalation up to sex because she told me on our last date she's allergic to condoms and not on birth control, but I've been keen on kissing and general body contact.
She's a very shy, reserved girl but a real sweetheart. She has expressed to me that she's not ready to jump back into any official relationship. I expressed too much neediness through texting early on, and considering that my question is regarding texting. I am more often than not the one to initiate now, and we generally have good flowing conversations, her being flirty in her own dainty, shy way. I am trying to be more aloof and careless towards her considering my early texting. I have been the one to initiate the setup of our last 3 dates. She seems keen to meet up but she always mentions time constraints and general busyness (goes to school, works two jobs, babysits often). How can I get her to warm up to me in the general texting department? I know if I'm on her mind she will send me a message but I rarely get anything from her as I usually have to initiate. Am I being used for validation at this point? Should I initiate less often, or simply send random aloof texts once every couple days?

Any general advice on how to proceed, from either sex? This texting business is ridiculous. Thanks

>>18046083

Text is the invention that will kill flirting. Texting lets you talk and feel like you have company, but prevents any "moves" from taking place.

So sorry, but you can't make a move over text. She probably just wanted a friend.

Where are you supposed to actually meet people? I just counted and I literally only know 5 members of the opposite sex around my age, 4 of which are in relationships.

>>18046099

You have to believe there's a chance of it working out before dating, though. If it's clear they are not attracted to you, then no point in dating.

Also, I'm not the same Anon.

>>18046091
>It comes really, really natural for most of us.

The one time I had sex, was nothing other than stressful and awkward. It didn't feel natural to me..

How am I suppose to get an emotional bond with a girl without getting friendzoned before sex? Society has pushed it to be so normal to have sex within the first few dates. If I wanted to wait months, I'd have to tell her. It'd be likely I'd get dumped probably.

I'm a normal person. But I think I'm too romantically awkward or whatever. I've never cuddled with someone. How would you feel if you tried to cuddle a dude and he didn't know how to even do it? It's border line autistic

>>18046107

Doing stuff. Just live and you'll stumble upon all kinds of people.

>>18046099
Well, no.
If you don't make a good first impression, I will reject you. I don't need to go on a date with you to know that I am not attracted to you physically or that your sense of humour is annoying as shit.
I honestly rejected 50% immediately, and maybe 30% after the first date and 15% after a couple of weeks of dating. Roughly.

>>18046106
True. I guess she may have just wanted a friend. She seems to be sorta shy, and not really the social type.

Though some other stuff seems a bit strange for a friend to do.

>>18046114
Maybe I'm just autistic. Where I live everyone keeps to themselves

I should probably just stop worrying and plan to be alone

>>18046090
I did a lot of feeling up with the second one as did she. We did once have plans to spend a weekend together at her place but she decided to call it off because she felt scared. I felt like I was insulted at my core but stuck with it for another month because I'm a stupid faggot.

>>18046119

Probably reading too much into it. Move on. You have already been building this crush in your head. You won't think straight bout her signals. Give this one up and try again.

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>she comes over
>I'm too dense to realize I should just shut up and kiss her
>texts me saying she had a good time, wants to do it again, whatnot
>arrange for her to come over again
>can't make it, because class
> next day she says she's too tired and busy for the next few days
>feel like I got stood up
>ask when she's free
>nothing since Friday
Brehs, what should I do?

>>18046125
I guess. Though before I fell for her, I still had a bit of a suspicion that maybe there might be something.

I'll continue talking to her, as I actually like her as just a friend, and if stuff happens, it happens.

But I won't close myself off to others if someone comes along that I like

when does the self improvment meme kick in?

i've lost a bunch of weight, gotten a job and cleaned myself up but people still avoid me

>>18046112
You had sex once, and it was your first time. It is supposed to be a bit awkward, after a bit it becomes natural and it feels good. No one's first time is enjoyable.

You can progress at your pace.
The problem with dudes getting friendzone is that they never progress, they just wait for things to turn romantic indefinitely without making a move.
If you slowly move at a pace you're comfortable with, you flirt with them and you kiss them, you hold their hands and date them, and make clear you're interested in them romantically, it's going to be fine.
You don't need to be fucking them in 3 dates, you can take a month and slowly progress to sex. Just build a relationship, an emotional bond, and be honest about who you are. It's scary, but you won't go anywhere. You'll be surprised to find out how many girls are just accepting. We're not heartless monsters.

Cuddling is pretty fucking intuitive. You don't need an engineering degree to give a hug. Just hold her and stay in a position that is comfortable.

>>18046123

So then why give up? By your account, the only real obstacle here is you giving up. Your only problem is how you handle rejection.

You got three dates and almost fucked one. Keep at it. I mean, the next one could be it. You have the tools to do it.

>>18046138

Maybe you are just obnoxious, mean, boring, etc. It's not all about looks.

>>18046140

I'm not saying youre lying or anything. I do appreciate your posts. But I have a hard time believing it

>>18046112
>>18046140

Let me add to what Anon said. Just because a couple of people don't share your "speed", doesn't mean you are "wrong". It means you two didn't fit, fine. It happens.

Don't be discouraged and present yourself as you are. Just do as Anon said and move to some speed.

>>18046144
>So then why give up?
But I didn't, she did. After I swallowed my disappointment and mended the damage to my ego that I suffered from the implication that spending a night with me is scary, I kept trying, but she then goes and says that I deserve better hurr durr.

>>18046182
>So after the third rejection I gave up trying.

That's when you told me you gave up on dating. I'm not saying keep going after number . I'm saying go for number 4.

Also, she didn't say you were scaring. She said she was scared. Big difference. Don't make everything about yourself.

Every single person you meet has a battle raging inside of them, same as you. Sometimes they are angry at you, but not because of you. Sometimes they are scared, but not because of you. Etc. Don't take everything to heart. Sometimes their problems have nothing to do with you.

>>18046150
But your reasoning is completely mental, anon.
You've never tried. You decided girls won't like you because you are inexperienced, without ACTUALLY trying to get with girls, or telling girls you're inexperienced. You decided no one would be fine with teaching you or waiting for you, but you never tried to ask. You decided it's something you cannot ever get over, when it obviously is something you can get over because you just need to fuck a girl to get over the fact that you never fucked a girl.

To me, it seems like you're just finding excuses to not try. You're so scared of failing you're just sitting here and telling yourself that you don't try because it won't go well anyway.
Well, let me tell you - it's fucking bullshit.

It's really up to you. You need to get over this bullshit you created in your head, and you're the only person who can do it.
I'm honest, I wouldn't have half a problem dating someone inexperienced, a lot of girls wouldn't either.
Worst thing that can happen if you try is that all girls reject you and you die alone, which is the same result you'd have without trying.

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>>18046126

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>just keep trying you'll meet someone eventually
>don't give up
>there's someone for everyone!

My girlfriend just broke up with me over text a day before valentine's day.

I really thought she was the one. This hurts so fucking much.

>>18046241

You shouldn't do the same thing again and again. You have to try with a different person each time you are rejected.

Am I a complete moron for not picking up the signs?

>girl i like, coworker
>other day randomly asks me "so, anon, how do you act around a girl you like? i really wanna know"
>say, "uh...i don't know...i basically act like an idiot then never say or do anything, and uh...regret it later"
>she just laughs and says "ok, but you're an idiot all the time so you must have a crush on everyone'
>5 min later
>"anon, what kind of boyfriend are you? like when you're dating someone, do you spoil her or what? I just want to pick your brain :)"
>say "uh...i don't know...uh...what's that over there?"
>point behind her, she turns around, i run away

I should've said "oh, well there's only one way to find out if you're that interested"

how bad did i ruin my chances? we hung out after work that day and talked and stuff for about two hours, but then the next day at work she went from being really nice/playful like she normally is then randomly got cold and distant and didn't even say bye when she left.

Is there anything I can do for a girl I'm into for valentines day, without coming off as a creep? Buying her a gift is a bit far, but would wishing her a happy valentine's day get the message across without being a creep? We haven't talked lately (a couple months), so asking her out or asking for her number seems a bit too forward right now as well.

>>18046189
Maybe I wouldn't be so fucking spent on trying and be blueballed for months before left hanging again if she would have given me a fucking reason rather than that cringy OH YOU'RE SO GREAT YOU'LL FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL LOVE YOU so I could improve rather than be left second-guessing myself and my actions like a fucking tard.

this question is for a guy!

recently i got into a relationship with my ex boyfriends friend half a year after a broke up with him. i've been dating this guy for a couple months and recently he moved far away to a different state. we've always texted a little every day or even sent snapchats and stuff but he hasn't texted me for two days. i was the last one to text him, and he just left it on read which i never mind as long as you text something back within like a day or something. he had a snapchat story at like some festival thing so he was on his phone today but didn't text me. im kinda mad because even if you're busy you would expect him to at least send a text that says "hey i'm busy today but thinking of u" or some cheesy shit like that. what do you think? does he not like me anymore/not really care anymore or is he seriously that busy that he can't shoot me a text?

>>18046245
Breaking up over text is fucking low.

This question is mainly for girls but I guess guys can weigh in as well.

Tell me if this is a good Valentine's day present (in addition to the obligatory date night at a nice restaurant):

So my GF has been growing a Lilly (or some kind of flower, idk) in her dorm room. She's always said that she has a hard time keeping plants alive but this one is doing pretty good, however she still has it in the small plastic planter that she bought it in. I feel like it will grow better if it was in a bigger pot with some good soil so I would get her a nice decorative pot in her favorite colors and a bag of good soil specifically made for flowers. She's also going on spring break in a couple weeks and won't be around to water it for a week so I was gonna get one of those little glass globe things that you fill with water and stick in the soil that waters it for you.
We've been together for about 5 months. When we exchanged our christmas gifts she claimed that I "showed her up". I told her that it was the thought that counts, and that I really did like what she got me, but still felt bad about it so I don't want to get her too much and make her feel bad again, so I feel like this plan is really thoughtful but relatively inexpensive so she wouldn't worry about how much she spent on me.

>>18046268

>so asking her out or asking for her number seems a bit too forward right now as well.

If making a move is too forward, then don't make any move. Leave her alone.

>>18046268
if you are not dating a person, you do not, under any circumstances, get them anything. valentines is for lovers, not weirdos.

>>18046273
that's a fucking top notch thing, m8

>>18046273
i like this! very cute idea without going overboard

>>18046273
It's a pretty good idea, yeah.

Are you artistically inclined at all? Could be nicer if you paint/finish the pot yourself. I know it's kinda last minute since valentine's day is tomorrow, but it's just a suggestion.

>>18046270

Dude, don't be so self-centered. As I said, maybe it had NOTHING to do with you. Maybe she just wasn't ready to fuck yet. She has her own life and she made choices because of herself, too. You are not the only thing she was thinking about.

>>18046276
It seems too forward to me, since I haven't talked to her since we had class together last semester. I just don't want to come off as desperate if I go up to her and suddenly ask her out.

>>18046282
That's why I said I'm not giving her anything, but I was wondering if just going out of my way to wish her a good valentine's day is alright.

>>18046297
>I just don't want to come off as desperate

What do you want?

>>18046297
>to wish her a good valentine's day
That's weird. You don't wish people a good valentines day.

Why not just ask her out? Asking folks out is not forward unless you know she's in a relationship

>>18046301
Mostly just do something in the spirit of Valentine's Day. I was going to talk to her anyway, and plan on asking her out once we are a little comfortable with each other. I just figured it would be fun/nice to add that in there.

>>18046304
I like to take things slow, but its more for me than anything since I'm the type who gets extremely nervous and I want to enjoy the early days of dating rather than be anxious all the time.
I just hear of people doing it, generally from single guys to single girls who have no interest in dating, so I was playing with the thought.

>>18046319

> I was going to talk to her anyway,

Great, why do it on Valentine's though? Why would it be "fun" to do something on the celebration of couples when you two are not a couple?

>>18046332
Because I only bump into her on certain days of the week (classes), and this week it just happens to be on Valentine's.
I just saw it as something like wearing a halloween sweater on halloween, or changing your ringtone to a christmas tune in December or something.

>>18046291
Well I just went over the conversation just to prove you wrong, but ended up just getting angrier at myself.

So after the break up and she told me the sex should've happened way earlier, she apparently felt it would have been weird to fuck after 3 or so months of dating.

Am I supposed to be a mentalist? How should have I known if the girl in question never even hinted at it?

>>18046343
>I just saw it as something like wearing a halloween sweater on halloween, or changing your ringtone to a christmas tune in December or something.

Those two things don't involve someone else. But then it means something related to couples, because it's a day for couples. You want her to get "I like you" without actually asking her out.

Don't do it. Leave her alone. You clearly are just a guy that is crushing on her. Don't make the day awkward for her.

>>18046344
>Am I supposed to be a mentalist? How should have I known if the girl in question never even hinted at it?

If she didn't hinted, then she messed up. Are you going to be angry at yourself because she did something wrong? Or are you going to blame all women because ONE of them did something shitty?

>>18046349
I feel like you take Valentine's way too seriously.

>>18046353

Hahahaha, really? That's what you got from that?

Here let me quote you:

>would wishing her a happy valentine's day get the message across without being a creep?

What message do you want to get across then? You are the one using Valentine's to deliver a "message", not me. What were you expecting to have her "get" by saying "Happy Valentine"?

>>18046358
"message" as in "I wanted to do something for valentine's but I'm single and I feel like it would be a nice thing to wish you a happy valentine's day since you are single as well".

>>18046362
"We're both single for Valentines, wanna get drunk and fool around?"

>>18046362

Oh, so you don't like her?

Also, you are the one making the day matter here. After all, you can talk to her any day. Why pick Valentine's if it's not a big deal?

>>18046366
That's a sinful

>>18046367
I do, but I feel like it would be unfair to wish someone a happy valentine's if I wasn't at least interested.
And like I said, I only see her on specific days of the week due to classes. I COULD wait till valentine's is over to talk to her, but I don't see the point. Or I could just not wish her a happy valentine's. I just don't want to come off as a creep. She's a pretty modest girl, I don't want to act like some douche asking her out as if I'm throwing darts and hoping one sticks.

>>18046378
>Or I could just not wish her a happy valentine's
Sounds good to me.

>>18046264
?

>>18046352
Well like I said I'm not fucking good at this, I am an inexperienced fuck. Maybe she did hint at it, may be not. I don't know. That is why I keep spinning the break up in my head everytime I have a feelsy moment. Even after almost a year trying to figure out what exactly is it that makes me so bad at romance or separates me from the pack.

I am not angry at women at large, I am angry at myself for being such a chump with romance and intimacy even though everything else in my life is as it should be. It frustrates me so fucking bad.

>>18046378
>but I feel like it would be unfair to wish someone a happy valentine's if I wasn't at least interested.

So why lie to me? You are not just saying "I wanted to do something for valentine's but I'm single and I feel like it would be a nice thing to wish you a happy valentine's day since you are single as well".

You are also saying "I like you, or I wouldn't be wishing you Happy Valentine's".

Why lie and hide that so much? It was obvious from the first post.

>>18046386

Getting pussy won't make you happy. It really won't. And by focusing so much on it, you only hurt your chances.

Go and live your life. Have fun, meet people, talk, do shit with them, and try asking them out without building a relationship or expectations in your head. I know that last part is hard, but you have to know you are not owed sex. It doesn't matter how much exp you have or how good you are at romance, you'll still get "no"s from time to time.

So what? Enjoy what you get instead of imagining what you "should" have.

>>18046387
I say that because it does give off the connotation that I'm interested. It would be really rude of me to cause a misunderstanding, whether they like me or not.

>>18046391

I had to work to have you say it, Anon. We all knew you were saying "I like you", but you didn't want to admit it.

If it's so hard to say it to us, how will you say it to her? Also how is that different from asking her out? Do you expect HER to ask you out after you say that?

Dude, this is a crush. We know it. You know it. Leave her alone. You'll come off as a creep if you do anything on Valentine's.

>>18046390
>So what? Enjoy what you get instead of imagining what you "should" have.
The thing is, sexuality is an integral part of a complete human life. It's actually one of the base needs of a human being. I suppose it's easy for you to tell me to go and live my life and not care about sex so much as a person who presumably has sex. I'm not blaming you, I'd probably say the same if I was in your position.

Practically what you just told me is to continue on the road of dry spell and wait for some fucking miracle that may never come.

>>18046400
Because just saying "I like you" is weird, and I don't want to date her /yet/ (in the event she says yes) because I like to take things slow and enjoy things as much as possible.
I don't mind leaving obvious as fuck clues that I do like her, but I certainly do not plan on waiting for her to ask me out. In fact, as a really conservative guy, I want to be the one to ask her out.

Ideally, I want to intersperse any romantic moments with idle conversation. If I told her happy valentine's day, I wouldn't ask for her number the next day, rather the day afterward. If I do get her number, I'd text her a bit first before asking her out on a day. If we do go out on a date, I probably won't talk to her after the date is over until the next day.
You get the idea. I want to be prepared if I do ask her out, I want to enjoy it as much as possible, and I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable by consistently bombarding her with advances.

>>18046415
https://markmanson.net/sex-and-our-psychological-needs

>>18046415

Not really. I only ever had sex with prostitutes to FINALLY lose my virginity and then decided that was not what I wanted. I want companionship and someone that cares about me as much as I care about her.

I still haven't really found it. I have friends and people that really care about me, but I don't have a GF (never had) and never had sex I didn't pay for. So no, this isn't "Chad" or some other shit meme talking out of his ass. This is someone just like you that can never close the deal.

Only I don't hate myself because of that. I realize every rejection was just a learning moment. And next time I will do better. Maybe not get there, but do better. Because I keep learning and I keep trying.

Is it weird that a 25 years old guy has never managed to get a woman in bed? Yes, it is. I know I'm playing with handicap at this point. Whatever. I'll get there. How about you? Gonna give up?

>>18046421
>evolution has intertwined our drive for sex (note: a drive, not a need) with our psychological needs for esteem and connection. They’re intimately linked.

So it is a strategy to fulfill a need, not a need in and of itself. I however fail to see how that doesn't make it an integral part of a human existence, particularly in modern hypersexualized society.

Is dating an alcoholic worse than dating a guy who has no high schook diploma or GED?
No plans on getting one.

>>18046420
You sound like a fucking sperg, she would probably say no if you asked her out

>>18046454
I wouldn't date either.

>>18046454
Idk if its worse, but it's definitely an awful idea

>>18046420

Life is not a movie. You don't pick a girl and say "I'll make a plan for her to date me". You find someone that connects with you on some level and ask them out. If they say "yes", awesome! Then you date. If they say "no", bummer. But you move on.

Don't put so much energy into something that hasn't happened yet. Don't try to "prepare" her to ask her out. "Shit or get off the pot" is a phrase I like. It means: Do what you want to do, or go do something else. Don't waste time making preparations. You are doing that because you know she won't say "yes" to a date. You know she doesn't like you.

Move on. Look for another girl, one that actually likes you back. Stop wasting time with pointless plans and live your life. Have fun with girls instead of looking at them from afar.

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for guys

>be me 18
>one pretty good friend
>only hang out with her once a month
>other "friends" are beckys
>don't associate with me that much
>hung out with beckys in december and couldn't relate to all the stupid shit drama they were talking about
>have a pretty boring social life
>never really go out with one friend only smoke weed and watch netflix when we do
>have a weed man who's a chad
>chad tells me i'm boring and lack personality
>have flashbacks of when my x said that last summer
>now believe that im boring and lack personality
>have some hobbies that i do, but nothing very cool (ex: play the cello)
>never really been to a party
>never really leave my house
>have anxiety and major depression maybe that's why
>when i hang out with people i have nothing to contribute to conversation because i'm so boring
>don't know what to say because i'm afraid i'll say something weird and someone will dislike me


anyway... how do i stop being boring? i don't want to come off as boring... i don't have to be the coolest person but i want to seem like i at least have a life.... im usually always dating someone attractive with an active social life but i know they're only with me because i'm attractive... i'm too boring otherwise.

>>18046459
"prepare" as in a have a place in mind to go with a couple alternatives and I can take care of it all, financially.
If I knew she would reject me, why would I bother asking her out in the first place?
However, I do understand your advice, and I'll take it to heart.

>>18046467
>i want to seem like i at least have a life

Don't fake it, get an actual life. Also, stop talking in memes. "Beckys" and "Chads". God, so much stupid shit.

>>18046467
What if you sought out help for your depression and anxiety rather than seeking validation from empty relationships?

>>18046467
>beckys
>chads
Try getting off 4chan and doing something with your life. You're only 18 and you're talking like a 30 year old neckbeard.

>>18046468
>"prepare" as in a have a place in mind to go with a couple alternatives and I can take care of it all, financially.

You didn't say that. You made an incremental scale of "closeness" and what you'd say in each step. Also, you decided how many days there should be between every step. That's crazy, man.

>>18046472
thing is... i'm on medication for that stuff and attend therapy but we've never really gone over relationships and things of the sort

report spammers please, that includes fart guy and cuddle guy

>>18046474
I don't know if we are just misunderstanding each other or you are just trying to find fault, but I did say that was "ideally". I fully know life doesn't follow a strict schedule and those were just examples of how I would react after certain events.
Everything I do is an attempt at taking both mine and her (hypothetical) feelings in regard, trying to make the most of everything and enjoy it, and instead of trying to reach that end goal of getting a girlfriend.

>>18046490

That's the "wasting energy in something that hasn't happened" part of my post.

>>18046497
Oh, I see. I'm just not the type of person who tends to wing it, so to me it's not "wasting energy" but rather "accounting for all possibilities" so I won't be caught off guard by something.
Like for example if she did reject me, I would want to have a somewhat friendly conversation sometime afterwards to show I'm not pissed off or hold it against her or anything, just in case she is mulling over it or something. I know rejecting people can be hard.

But you are correct that hypotheticals can be a huge waste of time. I make a note to avoid "what if" questions about the past as it is just distressing, but I find "what if" questions about the future pretty exciting.

Once in college how quick does one usually get laid? or get into a relationship

>>18046517

Hahahahahahaha

Great joke, Anon. I'm actually smiling right now. Thanks. I needed a little joke like that. My day's been pretty shitty so far.

>>18046517

by tlaking to every girl that interests you and making a move on them

>>18046516

Imagining what you'd do with her instead of actually doing anything with hr is basically masturbating. Just saying. That's not planning it's mental masturbation.

>>18046517
Pretty quickly, on your first day, you're assigned a member of your preferred gender as your new partner.

>>18046523
Obviously, I never implied that it was anything but. I look forward to my expectations being completely shattered, both in a good way or a bad way.

Asked girlfriend what shes doing wednesday because she gets off early sometimes. Said she's working until 430 and to come at the usual time (630) to hangout.

I saw in her planner on her phone that shes hanging out with a guy after work. She failed to tell me shes doing this.

Shes hung out with him before and always told me. Should I just give her the bennefit of the doubt that she forgot or call her out on lying. The only problem calling her out is that I looked on her phone beforehand...

What do

>>18046534
Maybe she canceled with him and just didn't delete it off her planner.

>>18046534
Why were you digging around her planner anyway?

Where do I meet people in a culture where approaching and talking to random strangers is a faux pas?

>>18046534
Honestly, the relationship is doomed. Even if she isn't cheating on you and is 100% faithful to you, the fact that you're going through her phone is a major problem.

No one in a relationship, be they male or female, should be looking through their partner's phone.

I'm a victim of cheating, I've never cheated in my life, and even I would never look in my partner's phone. If I had any doubts, I would confront the issue, not invade her privacy.

>>18046549
Go to tourist areas.

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I asked this in a previous thread, but I framed my question poorly, so I never got an appropriate response:

Do black girls think of bondage sex differently than other girls, due to it's superficial resemblance to slavery? Would it matter that I'm white?

Things are weird between me and a girl I care about. We went through some shit and aren't talking now, but I want her to know I really care about her and wish we could be open with each other.

She's an independent, closed off person, hasn't been in a relationship before. Texts me when she feels strongly about me (pattern I picked up on too late).

I see her around every now and then, usually we're both with friends.

How do I approach this?

New flatmate is masturbating in her room. Should i tell her i can hear her, or do i pretend like nothing?

Also: Girls, do you like lap dances?

Would it be weird if I asked a girl to cook dinner (I like to cook) at her place tomorrow night? We've already been on 1 """date""" and it went well. We've only been talking for a week though.

Women: would "into everything but anal" be a bad tinder bio for a guy?

>>18046625
Might be that soon, she'll probably think you're wanting to bang. In this day and age it's typically assumed if you're meeting in a private residence, where nobody can bother you/see you, you're likely gonna fuck.
But also in this day and age, 1 week of talking seems about right for this progression anyway.

But nothing wrong with asking regardless, worst she'll say is no.

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>>18044762
What am I supposed to write on a valentines card
Something simple? no corny poems please

Male here

Is it normal that I view the idea of me being in an actual relationship as something that's fantastical?

>>18046653
Roses are red
My balls are blue
Let me unload in you

>>18046594
Uh, well, is it really bothering you? Because then yeah tell her to quiet it the hell up.
I'd just ignore it personally unless she's a chronic masturbator and it's going on 24/7 or something. If you wanted to drop a hint you might be like "Man what were you watching last night? Heard some weird shit through the walls"
Or just start heavily dropping hints about the thin walls in general.
>>18046549
idk what culture has that to a heavy extent, since how the fuck else are you gonna meet anyone? Everyone starts as a stranger at some point.

Regardless, friends of friends, coworkers, or go to the handful of socially acceptable places to meet and talk to strangers, such as social groups/clubs, bars, school. Or the default, online.

>>18046517
As fast or as slow as you put the effort into. Relationship is hard mode, nobody wants to be tied down in college.

I'm a introverted autistic fuck who wouldn't just get the fuck over my social anxiety and holed myself up into my room all the time, so I'm 4 years in, nearly graduated, and never dated OR fucked my entire college experience. The solution is 100% within my grasp though, if I just fucking DID IT, stopped giving a fuck, and went out, it'd be easy.

>>18046643
If you're looking for a hook up, not necessarily. If you're looking for anything else yes.

>>18046653
roses are red
violets are blue
ill fuck you with a rake

I was in a relationship and I was fucking done of her. The last month together was horrible, but she said she loved me. the fact is I couldn't care less about it and I wanted to break up with her, but i didn't do it because she was in hard times and i didn't want to be an asshole. One day I tried, but I couldn't, and she asked me if I still loved her, then I lie, but the next day I told her the truth....
2 days later, We fought ( discuss) so badly, and she broke up with me and I felt released. I don't lover her and I don't miss her at all, i dont give a fuck about his life ( I was a good boyfriend but she did many things wrong during our relationship and I suddenly stop caring about her).

We were very close and almost lived as a marriage. But we broke up like 6/7 months ago... but i still remind her ( not as love or anything because when I see her, i feel nothing)

why do you think this happen?

I'm very close with her family, they all are friends of mine, really good friends. We were together like 7/8 months i realy cannot remember.

>>18046625

Maybe she'd be against the "at her place" part. Can't you invite her over to your place? It sounds a bit like an imposition to say "we are having a date at your place"

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>>18046653

>>18046653
Write "You're gonna be a great single mom someday"

Girls,
I'm the kind of guy who doesn't enjoy being a bottom. Like, at all. Dominance is my domain in the relationship. I've been dating this girl for nearly five years now and she's always been the bottom in our relationship, but she very recently has claimed she's actually obsessed with being dominant. It sounds ridiculous but she finds herself being called "Daddy" by guys hot. My question to you is does it sound like a legitimate thing, or is she just fooling around? She has expressed talking to other guys to get them to call her that because I don't.

>>18046694
My place wouldn't be too great. I still live with family members.

>>18046467
What's a becky?

You're probably not boring, or at least, not more boring than most people.

> i'm attractive

Oh, nevermind. You might be one of those women who skate by in life on her looks, and honestly there really isn't a solution for that.

>>18046702

Still, I'd be careful how you say "let's go to your place" if she didn't invite you.

>>18046701
The 'Daddy' thing is definitely a thing with women. Also "Good girl".
I don't see what that has to do with being dominant.

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I guesd this can be answered by both sexes, but I don't think this really needs a thread so I'll post it here.

Is it possible to ride a guy with a smaller weiner (4inches)? I've only had sex with my current boyfriend so I don't know. If not, what are good positions for someone with a small weiner?

Guys, need help.

Started seeing a quiet nerdy guy last week. Got coffee twice last week and then today we met up for breakfast before work today. For the whole week we've been seeing each other, he's sent me good morning and good night texts each day. But he won't really get physically close to me. Today I couldn't really take it any more and asked him if I could give him a hug. He looked nervous but said yes. It was an alright hug but he seemed kind of ... surprised?

Is there something I'm missing and I'm actually friendzoned? Do guys text a girl good morning/night like that if they don't have sexual feelings for them? I'm confused and wondering if I shouldn't have asked if I could hug him.... for reference we're both late 20s and neither of us have a lot of dating experience. He's a vidya programmer and I'm a music teacher.

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>>18046662
>>18046680
>>18046696
>>18046697

Thanks /adv/ I'm no closer to my goal

>>18046713
He's probably just a sperg.

>>18046711
Depends on the position. I'm 5.5 and unless I was lying flat, nothing was going to happen.

Best position, IMO, is missionary, with her (your?) legs up on his chest.

Alternatively, sit on his dick like a stool, with your feet flat. That position was the only one that let me hit my ex wifes top. It's also my favorite


>>18046713
He's just wary. I'm the same way these days. Some guys face a lot of rejection and a LOT of teasing so someone showing interest is a bit alarming since there is a not insignificant chance of it being another trick.

desu just be a little more forward and verbal. A simple "I really like spending time with you" can go a long way.

>>18046713
Just kiss him next time or something, to get out of the FZ you have to be bold. Take it or leave it.

>>18046713

Yeah, he sounds like an awkward guy. Try starting the contact (it worked when I was the silly one). He'll probably hold or hug you any way you ask him, so just ask.

Unless he snaps out of it quickly it will be a pretty dull relationship though. At least as far a physicality goes.

>>18046713
>>18046717
This. He's probably just awk. You'll likely have to take the lead here.

>>18046711
>Is it possible to ride a guy with a smaller weiner (4inches)?
Oh, i really hope so!
...who am i kidding. I'm never having sex.

>>18046733
Never say never man. Don't let yourself fall into that thinking trap without really good evidence. Too many guys on here give up prematurely

>>18046706
She's explained and sworn many times now that it's a dominant thing. That's her insertion, not mine. I feel weird just thinking about it, and the fact she claims she's willing to talk to other guys just for that (and it turns her on supposedly) speaks volumes about how important it is. At least to me. Should I just do it to keep her, or should I stand my ground? I want to marry her at some point, so I'm lost.

>>18046706
>The 'Daddy' thing is definitely a thing with women.
It's fucking creepy. Multiple women and a coworker call me daddy and it's just, gross

I'm shuddering just thinking about it

>>18046747

Why Daddy? Tell Anon what's troubling you.

...

Sorry, I'll go away now.

>>18046701
Wait, she wants to be called daddy? Did i misread this?

I'm basically a stereotypical 4channer aside from being fat/NEET

What chance do I have with women?

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>>18046750

>>18046755
Pretty bad, but your personal flaws don't have as much of an impact as you'd think.

>>18046741
Dunno. I've never heard of a Dom calling her sub 'Daddy'. It's usually the sub calling the Dom 'Daddy'.

If you want to marry her at some point there probably needs to be some give and take. Depends on how much it turns you off.

>>18046761
>>Pretty bad, but your personal flaws don't have as much of an impact as you'd think.
What are the flaws then that impact social success if not personal ones?

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>>18046747

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>>18046755
Close to 0 unless you are famous, obscenely rich or have extremely low standards

read the http://boards.4chan.org/fit/#catalog sticky
improve from there avoid /fa/ unless you have no fashion sense

T. fitizen

>>18046676
Okay. I'm looking for a long-term relationship, not a hook-up, so I definitely won't use that as my bio.

>>18046766
I wouldn't say it turns me off, but as I said it's just weird. I guess I should swallow what pride I have and so it though. Thanks.

>>18046777
Like there being hundreds of thousands of extra breeding age men in America

>>18046781
>taking advice from /inthecloset/
that venn diagram is pretty damn accurate though

>>18046755
My boyfriend was a stereotypical 4channer including fat/neet (he just has a job now), but I find that sort of thing super cute, so I'd say your chances are pretty slim, but not exactly 0. The sheer fact that you have a job and arent fat is prtty good though, and these two things mean you have potential and aren't a lost cause which means a lot.

>>18046747
Calling your sexual parter 'baby' isn't really any better.
English is freaky.

Girls

would u say making eye contact multiple times with a guy in class is u trying to get him to talk to u

For femanons:

If a girl I like texts me,
> I drank too much tonight

I ask, "what happened?"
> My friends boyfriends brother was in town lol

I can conclude she has no feelings for me whatsoever, right? That kinda hurt.

Why are white women attracted to black men?

How do I avoid these women?

>>18046940
They really aren't.
White guys get off to white girls being fucked by black guys. Most white girls don't want to fuck black guys.

>>18046940
>>18046949
I like black girls but I don't like if my girlfriend liked black men.

This is normal right?

>>18046956
Sounds pretty fucking insecure.

>>18046922
Idk, that statement really did not say anything. Just that her friends boyfriends brother was in town.
Did he buy them a bunch of booze, they went home and fucked? Did they all just go out and drink and nobody fucked? Is this friends boyfriends brother gay?

Unless you got more context than you're giving us, I think you're really overthinking it. She's probably just trying to tell you about a crazy night she had.
>>18046903
Possibly, but it can mean anything. She could be looking past you and you're only thinking shes looking at you. She could be looking at something on you specifically, such as maybe you've got something in your hair, or shes trying to read something on your shirt, idk.

It's probably not a bad sign though, just go say hi.

>>18046786
If you're looking for something serious, you're better off just dumping your stats. What are you like? What are you looking for? What do you like to do for fun?
Cram as much of that info in as possible in your limited character limit, because that's gonna be the stuff that she'll use to form that awful, awkward, first conversation that we all just power through to get to the good stuff.

>>18046755
Mmm, well being not fat and having a job is 2 great things going for you.
But if you've got the hatred of women thing going on and the subzero self esteem, you're basically fucked.

>>18046965
Based, thanks

>>18046967
>But if you've got the hatred of women thing going on and the subzero self esteem, you're basically fucked.
I don't hate women but I have shitty self esteem

Ladies,

There's a girl who I think seems cool. We sit next to each other and casually flirt. I have class with her tomorrow and I'm thinking about asking if she's doing anything or Valentine's Day, and then if she's free asking if she wants to hang out. I want this to be causal, I'm not crushing on this girl, I just want to get to know her more. Would asking her out on Valentine's Day be a bit too much? Should I wait for another time?

Thanks

>>18047051
Good news is you can fix that, so work on it and watch the women flock to you.

>>18047058
ehhhh I'd say so. Even if she accepts, she's likely going to be thinking it's more than just "getting to know one another" given the day.
Ask her out for this weekend.

>>18047065
Thanks!

GIRLS

What emotions run through the head of a single girl who misses their ex-boyfriend who has improved dramatically after being dumped?

I'm doing no contact with my ex, moving forward through life, but I can't help but wonder what she'll be thinking tomorrow. Is Valentine's day really a catalyst for nostalgia and loneliness? Will my ex be thinking about me, what her day would be like if we were still together?

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Asking the femanons: what's the best way to ask for anal?

backstory:
I'm together with my gf for over three years now and we're 18 and 19, so we only had vanilla sex until now. The thing is, I'm totally into anal and would like to try it out soon. The only thing I know is that she once said she's wondering why and how gay men can enjoy anal sex.

>>18047456
Not a girl but text her something along the lines "Dont make me eat your ass". Then based on her reaction you'll know where she stands. Try and use it in proper context, like as a response to something you disagree with or whatever. I texted that to two girls, obviously joking around and I got some pretty interesting responses to say the least. I was expecting to get ignored or rejected but it turns out they were totally into it. Haven't eaten their asses yet, but if I was an ass eating man, I would of by now.