Methods to overcome social anxiety

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Recently, I've been dealing with those feelings by spotting and targetting those sources. Sometimes as soon as I have a disastrous interaction, I'll pick my phone and write down the parts of the encounter that made me feel like shit, so later I can lucidly reflect on them. By now the list is numerous, covering everything from the way I speak to my knowledge of my own city's streets and places, to TV shows I might want to check if I want to have something to talk to people about. I also started writting down things people do that I think make them seem confident, likeable, etc, and I try to mirror them.

My question is: is this a fucking waste of time? Has anyone succeeded in getting better through a similar method? If not, what do you recommend?

>>18043219

>For example, they can talk about experiences with something that you're not experienced in.

The social red-pill is that you don't actually have to have anything to offer to get people to like you. If you just listen to them, seem interested and ask questions, they will love you.

Lurk moar

>>18043230

This. Stop comparing your life to others. We're all human, we're all equals. Relate to people at a human level.

Ask people questions about their lives, girls love this. If you're talking to a girl just keep asking her questions and seem genuinely interested in getting to know her, and she'll do 90% of the talking then say "wow you're such a good conversationalist."

Just bring good vibes with you wherever you go and people will appreciate your presence. Make other people feel good then they'll make you feel good in return.

>>18043230
>>18043264
>just b urself

what is this board becoming

>they can talk about experiences with something that you're not experienced in.
soons you get stuck on this, you are already clammed up.
>Their tastes in pop culture can be completely different than yours, so you're left out of the conversations.
you're only left out if you don't open your mouth and speak. What becomes a problem is thinking and trying to plan when to open your mouth - soons someone closes theirs in something you have interest in or want to hear more about, open yours and continue talking even if someone else did the same. you have to make your presence known to the others in the group (and it seems better to do this as early as possible), or you will clam up and fall back into your same trains of thoughts such as 'I don't belong here, these people have nothing in common with me'
>They discuss places you've never been in, and establishments that you don't usually frequent. Their conversation can be lubrified by a constant exchange of cultural references, learned lines, learned jokes and learned interjections that give it a fluency that you feel like you interrupt whenever you talk, because you haven't properly learned their patterns of conversation.
The problem is you are trying to apply the same 'afterthought' mindset while currently being in the situation. Its actually two completely different way of thinking. Its not like the movies where everything is scripted and you have quips and funny retorts for every situation. The time you have for that is literally between words that come out of your mouth.

The hardest problem is opening your mouth and speaking, and then overcoming the afterthought of 'damn, why the fuck couldn't I say what I just thought of after I said it, and then overcoming the feelings you get from that disappointment and blowing them off.

I find the hardest problem is to stop overthinking and getting stuck in that rut, and when to speak.

>>18043292
He's right though. Ask question about their life and they will want more of you

I get over my SA by being funny. Yes sometimes I may make fun of someone and that includes myself at times.

Trying to be cool and hip and fit into every conversation line is undoable and you'll soon find yourself overextended and left out. There's a time to listen as well

My SA is more involved in just being quiet in the bus or waiting for something. I get anxious and I don't know what to do with myself. I can stare off into the void but I get anxious that people might think I'm weird. So I just close my eyes and try to relax or focus on music or my breathing.

Again, the way to beat anxiety is relaxation.

>>18043292

>He still hasn't read How to Win Friends

should be required reading before shitting up this board.

People will actually like you more if you just listen to them and validate, than if you try to make them listen to you.

>>18043334
he doesn't have a problem of talking too much you idjit; its the exact opposite.

>>18043219
>>18043220
I don't understand these pictures

>>18043355
It's reality vs. what someone with social anxiety experiences

>>18043349

He BELIEVES not having things to say is a problem, when it's not. Try to keep up.

>>18043219
Feels like I wrote this. I think every person that I have encountered with SA have thought very much alike. I know, it's probably because we have the same debilitating disorder but sometimes it's spooky how much likeness in thoughts there can be. I also have noticed a certain level of intelligence and profoundness within those who have SA.

I don't think you're wasting your time, I think you excellently put words to subconscious notes and thoughts. I think you're doing pursuing a valiant effort and although it's unlikely I get to hear an update, I hope that you find that it's working out for you.

>>18043301
yep.

Whether a person loves themselves narcissistically or hate themselves to the point of suicide, their favorite subjects are the same; Themselves!!!!


Doesnt mtter whether its "I'm awesome" or "woe is me"

>>18043264
Except when there's that one person who doesn't.


Shit's whack yo, everyone likes me but this one person.

>>18043404
>Shit's whack yo, everyone likes me but this one person.

That's a better like/dislike ratio than most people will ever experience

>>18043219
Hey OP.
You seem cool. I have the same problem and I've been trying to go about it analytically for a long time now. It's probably the wrong approach, but I'd rather not give up that method. It'd be nice to have someone to talk with about it, from time to time.
I'll probably be spammed to hell, but what the fuck. My skype is obnoxious_games. Write me! Let's learn form each others' experiences.