What relationship do you have now with your ex-partner(s)?

Mine broke up with me a few years ago. I deleted her on all social stuff and I didn't talk to her or have any contact for a long, long time. Then out of the blue she reached out and now I'm moving in with her. Shit's weird.

>>18042992

Wow. Tell us more?

I split with my ex over 3 years ago. Still love her pretty much.

I dont talk to any of them. I try to keep as far away as possible, 2 of them still text or call me out the blue once or twice during the year.

I never miss any of them, they've all made my quality of life miserable and always made me feel like i was in a mental cage, watching my steps not to step on egg shells, made me too careful about my interactions with other people. Frankly im happy being single with no kids coming close to the age of 30.

>>18042985
>What is your current relationship with your exes?
no contact for years and hopefully will stay like that.
/thread

>>18042996
She dumped me because she thought I was too directionless. Before we broke up I told her what my long and short term goals were, and since then I've been following through on what I had planned and said I would. After we split I stopped unfollowing her on everything but I guess she never did so she could see my progress and making strides towards better myself.

Out of the blue she texted me and we talked for a while and a week or so later she bought a plane ticket to visit me and things went well. A couple weeks later I flew out to see her. A few months later and up to present day - I'll be moving in with her next week.

It sounds weird and rushed and foolish but whatever. I have nothing to lose I suppose.

>>18042985
The guys I was testing the water with has a bunch of different outcomes. Most are just acquaintances now.

My high school boyfriend I'm still good friends with. I see him and my other high school friend whenever I come back home.

My ex boyfriend I stopped talking to completely. We were off and on. I would basically just suck his dick whenever I came home from college. I didn't like him anymore so I broke it off. I blocked his number so I wouldn't fall into that stupid lustful cycle again.

>>18042985
I am good friends with both of my exs.

The first one took a while- we had to have no contact for like a year so he could get over me but now we are good again.
The second broke up with me but I got over it pretty quick, and now we're friends.

I am a very patient/non-emotional person though. Like I think they both had more trouble moving on than I did. If I were to end a relationship with someone who I was very in love with, I might not be able to just be friends right after the breakup

>>18042985
4 ex's and always keep up with what they are doing but really to see what girls they are with. Three of them have all dated ugly/fat girls so haven't talked or seen them, who cares right? One of them my mom saw with a cute girl and couldn't believe it so I text him and told him I wanted to see him to talk. We had sex so I know he thinks I'm better than the whore he's with, even if she is cute she's not that cute.

>date girl for 4 years
>break up last June
>we broke up because I was not putting as much effort or attention into the relationship, which the progress had lulled.
>I was just finishing up school and got a new job. I wasn't at the position I wanted but could reach it soon and I did, one month after we split up.
>Finally content with myself but relationship didn't last. I made the mistake of staying in contact with my ex, being too honest and available, making it clear I wanted to get back with her.
>She rebounded knowing she had me on the shelf, but after I walked away she dumped him.
>Message her 7 days ago telling her I was about to ask her to move in with my, take more vacations as soon as I secured that job, but it's whatever now.
>She didn't respond but noticed her tweeting positive things about me, missing me, etc.
>Her friends say she is kind of depressed and wants to see me
>Haven't heard from her.


Ehh it's cool either way. If we work things out, awesome. if not I'm sure it's for the best. I had to be honest, though. And I made it clear I was way past the level I was when we broke up, where I was chasing her and being melodramatic.

Valentine's Day is coming up, I got a Dentist appointment lolololol.

>>18043037
do not give that cunt a do over. She wasn't good enough before so you deserve way better now you have improved yourself and I bet if you keep improving yourself you'll look back one day and wonder what the fuck you ever saw in her.

>>18042985

Broke up with my ex about 4 months back, I did the same thing and deleted her from social media along with her family and friends, even had to go as far as to block her completely because she wouldn't stop messaging me every now and then but also to stop myself from checking up on her page.

I see intimate relationships as something to be experienced and enjoyed as they are, if they end then so does the friendship and everything that went along with it.

It really is a shame to have to completely let go but its unique in that sense. Even if you were to follow each other on social media, the second either of you meets someone else its likely you will remove each other anyway so better to pull the band-aid off immediately.

>>18043013

Were you heartbroken when she left you? How do you not resent her for leaving in the first place.

Material things mean absolutely nothing to me, if I met the love of my life I wouldn't give two shits about them being directionless for a moment in time. If she left you at your lowest and comes back when you've improved she kind of sounds like a stuck up twat.

>>18043031
Wow you really *showed him* LOL

How insecure are you that you slept with him over that? Like it literally could have been his cousin or something. And even if it was a cute girl just because they were hanging out doesn't mean they are officially dating.

Hahaha Jesus what a slut. You're a huge idiot I can't believe you had to sleep with your ex out of jealousy like get a life

>>18042985
I cut contact with all people I've ever been romantic with, even just a flirt. I don't delete them off social media, but I don't use social media at all. I am on friendly terms, but we moved on with our lives.

The only exception is my very first boyfriend.
I met him when I was 4 and he was 6, he lived in the building next to mine. We dated briefly when I was 14 and he was 16. He came from a super fucked up family, I couldn't handle the drama and broke it off. We reconnected in university and we've been very good friends since. He's good friends with my boyfriend, too, and we often hang out together.
Clearly since it was something so brief and it happened so long ago it isn't a huge deal.

Shaky. We broke up last may due to religious differences. I didn't hold it against her too much and I tried to be positive and still maintain a friendship with her. But it's not going to well atm. We work together and she talks to me a little, but usually talks to everyone else more than me. I understand that being her ex I'm not the most comfortable person to approach. But this situation caused me to feel negatively and I lashed out. I texted her recently explaining why I wasn't in a good mood saying a lot cynical shit like:

>I felt like a friendship with her is pointless because she would be moving for school soon and I doubted I would ever hear from or see her again considering how often she speaks to me now.
>That our relationship wasn't that significant and wouldn't normally be that hard to get over but I put blame on myself for being overly optimistic and desperate when I learned she was interested because I was lonely and wanted not be badly.
>Telling her I felt apathetic about the whole friendship because so much time has passed since the breakup and our interactions haven't changed much so I felt like that things were never going to improve past the point they were at so I felt that it was clear how much she didn't really care about me or being friends with me.

But she stated that my texts were nothing but insulting even though I genuinely wasn't trying to be. I didn't realize how much of an asshole I was being and how hurtful the shit I was saying was. She said that she isn't moving for awhile in fact and that she would still be working at the same place for at least another year and a half. So, now I've just hurt her feelings and ruined any slight bit of progress I've made towards having a decent relationship with her and I feel like dog shit for it. I just don't know how to make these overbearing feelings of loneliness go away and how to stop letting my emotions take control and make me say stupid, hurtful shit towards somebody I claimed to care about.

>>18043077
I'm not jealous and I don't want him but he's obviously still hung up on me. The whore is his gf but likely not for long when I send her some of the text he's been sending me. Haha

>>18043081

Don't blame yourself for any of that, you're putting yourself through torture by having her around in your life as it is, its only natural that you would lash out after a while. I suggest you find a way to not work at the same time or to change jobs because thats not a healthy situation to be in. You clearly still care about her and an awkward "friendship" from past lovers isn't going to make you feel better.

>>18043071
I disagree with this person's opinion.

At first, love is not unconditional. It becomes that way after marriage. When you're dating, it's completely conditional. The things that factor in are looks, personality, and situation. If any of those areas is specifically lacking, it's not a good idea to stay with that person even if you love them, because you can likely find someone else who you love just as much who is proficient in all of those areas.

I am not a fan of relationships that are built on dumb things like "oh, he's a DOCTOR!" Or "he has such a nice car/house"- but it totally makes sense to be concerned if someone has a general lack of motivation/direction.

I have high standards for myself in terms of goals/motivation, so why would I not hold my partner to the same expectation? I would do so out of respect for them. It wouldn't matter what they choose to do, as long as they do it with passion, motivation, and direction.

>>18043087

Random bait in a low pop thread, how bored are you anon?

Like you may as well be screaming "Look at me I'm an exaggerated personification of a terrible person"

>>18043096
huh? Are you on the right thread and/or responding to the correct post?

>>18043087
You're the only whore in this situation.

I hope you take a serious look at yourself because this is increadibly sad. Like you'all never find someone who respects you if you continue to act this pathetic.

But wtv, you're probably not even capable of the level of introspection it would take to adjust your personality if you can't even stop yourself from sleeping with an ex out of jealousy.
It sounds to me like you're the one that's not over him.

>>18043045

Eh maybe, but she's not a cunt lol it seems like you're projecting some inner trauma.

Whatever happens, happens m8. I don't worry about things like this. Right now I'm focused on earning money, staying cozy through the winter, staying fit, and playing guitar.

>>18043095

That highly depends on time spent together, if you've only been dating a few months then fair enough but if this is someone you have history with and been together for years on end its quite petty in my opinion to dump them over being "directionless". Circumstances do matter but I feel like direction is something you can work through together and motivate each other. I just think people give up on each other too quickly these days, if you really do love them then breaking up would be a last resort, not something you do when they currently don't fit your mould of a perfect partner.

>>18043105
I'm not jealous, I have a bf and can get them really easy and broke up with him. I only wanted to prove he isn't over me and he isn't. I broke up with him almost 8 months ago.

>>18043104

>Stalk exes to see who they're dating
>Call all of them whores for no reason
>Message ex to hook up when they appear to be seeing someone that's threatening
>Plan to send ex's new girlfriends texts to sabotage ex's relationships.

Low quality bait or you're incredibly ignorant in that you can't see what a terrible person you are.

>>18043114
You have a point, but it's also important to remember that you should never try to change your partner. Obviously it's good to encourage them to better themselves, but if this girl had tried to encourage her bf to be more motivated or find something he was passionate about over the course of several months/years and he never did, then I'd understand why she'd assume that it was just the way he is and perhaps question their compatability.

I agree completely with your point that people give up to easily. I think that it's important to find the balance between (doing everything you can to resolve issues in a relationship) and (knowing when there'a something that can't be changed, and deciding whether or not you can accept that).

It'a true that maybe this girl didn't give her boyfriend enough of a chance- since he'a shown that he IS capable of growth. However, it is possible that the reason he was incentivized to find direction was because she broke up with him in the first place for being directionless.

I just don't know enough about the situation to tell.

>>18043031
g8 b8 m8

>>18043091
>>18043091
I see what you're saying, but I don't think how I acted was excusable. It's not cool to push my emotional pain onto another person like that. I do still care about her but I'm am totally fine with not being in a relationship with her. There are definitely better girls for me out there than her. My problem now is I'm back to feeling lonely and what I think is that I might just be wanting a friendship with her to try and fill that void because she's a familiar face, rather than actually wanting to be her friend. I've been thinking since that event about transferring and working closer to my college to take myself out the equation and not bother her. It's all really frustrating.

>>18043128
You're too dumb to realize that you are jealous.
You're not jealous of dating him, you're jealous that he'a giving his attention to someone that isn't you.
If you were totally over him you wouldn't even care what he is doing bc it would be so insignificant.
He probably thinks your a total idiot and knew he could use you for your pussy lol

>>18043131
You mean if I check an ex's social media it's stalking. No.

I only called one a whore, the cute one but the rest I kinda feel sorry for since they are fat or ugly or ugly and fat.

I didn't message him to hook up only a hi and lets catch up and he jumped and wanted to see me, then told me how much he missed me and started to kiss my neck.

Not really planning but who knows maybe the girl needs to know the kind of guy he is. What would you do?

>>18043144
Stop calling me dumb and an idiot. You don't know me.

>>18043114
>>18043138
I'm the guy you were originally replying to.

We were both in our mid 20s and trying to figure out what we wanted in life and who we were. I don't blame her for dumping me - I probably would have done the same. I was basically a directionless mooch - I would work just enough to be able to support myself. Neither of us were really in a good place to have a relationship.

>>18043138

Yeah that's all very true, I guess it's all up to the individual circumstances of each situation. I know if it was me however and an ex wanted to try again once they saw I was doing better in life I would kick them to the curb.

>>18043149

I wouldn't care what my ex's are up to and who they are seeing unless I wasn't over them. I wouldn't need to "prove" they aren't over me by getting in contact with them when I'm threatened by their new girlfriends. Maybe move on with your life and leave your ex's in the past where they belong.

>>18043095
I don't think it even changes after marriage. There are still dealbreakers in a marriage.

>>18043161
You described you behavior and state of mind which was idiotic, so I known enough about you to know what a shitty person you are

>>18043167
Well I personally think it's worth giving another shot if you're interested, but don't fall in to anything too fast. She sounds like the kind of girl that looks at actions. If you do fall in love with her again and you want to convey that love to her- do it by working extra hard at something. Like by planning a surprise date, or by saving up and buying her some earrings.
Something to show that she's worth working for. I'm probably projecting some but that gesture is important to a lot of girls.

>>18043179
I understand because I'm personally the same way- I never want to get back with my ex's so I'd almost be insulted if one of them wanted to get back with me if I suddenly met their standard.

>>18043187
That's true- I guess I was speaking more on my personal belief. I plan to love my husband unconditionally when I marry because I never want to get divorced. But I won't marry someone until I get to the point where I know that I am able to love them unconditionally, because they meet my conditions. That'a kind of a weird idea-
I mean to say that I am so confident in their ability to meet my conditions that I stop looking at it through the lense of "are they up to my standards?" because I know they are and I don't have to question it. I guess that's not truely unconditional, but It's pretty close

Lived with one of my exes after breaking up since I couldn't afford to live on my own at the time. That was a hellish experience. Haven't spoken with current ex out of respect for their wishes since they broke up with me. Personally, I think it's best to cut off all contact. As much as I'd like to say my ex and I are still good friends, it's not realistic. I still love them and I always will. I know it'd be a horribly unhealthy and unfair thing for both of us if we remained friends.

Broke up with my ex about 2 years ago. I check her social media once a day out of addiction. I'm more attractive than the dudes she's dated since we broke up, and she's getting more fat and less attractive as time goes by, so the joke's on her. Dodged a bullet.

>>18042985
We were together for 9 years, things were moving way too slow for her so she decided to end it. It was amicable, and we remained friends. Her family still loves me.

>>18043254

I've been broken up with mine only 4 months and I'm doing the same thing, I'm worried this habit will continue on indefinitely. Have you been doing it for 2 straight years?

I mean I don't even want her back or really care who she's dating anymore, Its just become a habit to stalk her profile. Its almost like its my only way of proving that she is real and still exists.

>>18042992
Holy shit are you my partner? I did the same and now he's moving in with me.
I wish you the best, man. I hope you two have a better future together ahead!

>>18042985
I have two, one I dated for three months in high school. We broke up on decent terms, and I see her at the gym and talk to her occasionally. The other cucked me repeatedly and i blocked her on everything.

>>18043254
>>18043290
this isn't healthy behavior

>>18043298
You live on the east coast?

>>18043290
Don't make it habit. Of course, sometimes people check on their exes, but I suggest blocking her profile so you don't become like >>18043254

Try to let go of such people, whether they wronged you or not.

>>18043300

No shit, its the lingering effects of the break up, I feel like the only thing that will make me stop is meeting someone new because then I'll be forced to because shits weird. But for the time being its hard to stop myself when I'm bored and social media is so public.

>>18043330
You could do other things with your time. Pick up a sport or hobby, and get off facebook for a month.

>>18042985
>1 that i am on genuine friendly terms with
>1 that i am friendly with and fug from time to time
>1 that i hope dies horribly
>2 that are gay, 1 of which got absurdly fat
>1 that i lost track of and im indifferent towards

>>18042985
I have three exs.

One used to be my neighbor in my old apartment complex and we'd just say hi in passing. Never hung out again.

My second ex also moved into that apartment complex. We were only together for four months. Ended sour, but years later we caught up and were friends. We'd just hang out on occasion with several other friends. Never alone. Then one day, we were all drinking at his house when people slowly started leaving. Before I knew it, we were alone and he tried to physically be intimate with me. I freaked out and left and I never talked to him again.

Ex number three, I only dated him for a few months and also barely knew him, we met online. Ended really sour. He cheated on me with a 16 year old and left me for her. I blocked him off social media and never talked to him again.


I've been in a relationship for 6 years now, and really don't want any of my exs in my life. Bf is the same, he has no contact with his. However, if he and I were to break up, after so many years and us being as close as we are, it'd be very hard to cut contact with him. It'd also be very hard to date again if we were still friends after the break up. It's something I could barely fathom at the moment.

My ex I was with every day and every night for 10 years. I loved him so I had two children with him. I stopped loving him after my second child. I know now he never loved me. The best sex I ever had was with him. It'll never be that good again. He betrayed me in the worst possible way. I hate him. I will never speak his name again.

>>18042985
My ex said she still wanted to be my friend after we broke up and that she considered me one of her best friends. It sorta worked until she got a new boyfriend who told her not to talk to me anymore. My friend told me they broke up a while ago but she never reached out to me so I figured it was best to let it go.

>>18043149
Either you are jealous, or pathetic enough to rip on every single girl's appearance in some way. So accept being a total bitch or jealous and move on.

>>18042985
she is a close friend of mine

I can enjoy talking to my exes when I see them. I mean there was a connection and there still is, but there's always this distance and no room for development because you know you might go and fuck eachother up again. It's a bit of a time waste for me, but if you had something a special friendship or a similair interest. You could try it again,but you'd have to have zero interest and/or attraction or really good willpower.

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>>18042985
An "ex-perience"

I'm on good terms with all but one ex. My first girlfriend is married and is in another state, but I occasionally check what's up with her or whatever, and since she's a tv news personality I see her a lot when I'm in that city, but we don't talk much. No hard feelings.

My next ex is still a friend of mine. We broke up mutually because religion is reasonably important to her and I wouldn't convert. She's married but we occasionally go out for lunch or dinner.

My most recent ex is the only one out of my life. I dumped her out of the blue and broke her heart, and she disabled all of her social media for a while.

We're still friends on Facebook, but she never uses it, so I don't see anything. If I saw her in person I'd hide, because I don't want to deal with the awkwardness.

>>18043031
B8

I love her and I think she might love me, I'm not totally sure though but I did get a couple red flags that lead me to that theory, particularly our song, the one we basically started our relationship to being so high up in her favorites list. That probably shouldn't be there if she doesn't have feelings for me anymore.

I think I'll confess to her how I feel and see how it goes.

I cut contact with all of them, because that's the only sane thing to do unless you have kids together.

>>18042985
my first two serious ex's i'm still in contact with but our break ups were mutual and on good terms. they live in other states now but i would hang out with them if they came to visit.

my most recent ex dumped me out of nowhere and i didn't take it well, deleted and blocked him on every form of social media. maybe in a couple of months i'll unblock him but i don't know if i'll ever bother reaching out to him again

>>18042985
2 long term.

1st I wasn't fb friends again until after my other relationship ended. She's engaged, happy for her as we were not good for each other. Still friends on fb with most of her friends but none of her family. She's liked a few of my posts/pictures but we kind of don't do much more than that.

2nd was almost a year ago. Still fb friends but unfollowed her (she doesn't really use it anyway). Her closest friends/family disowned me (odd as we broke up on really good terms and her choice), we hung out once in our normal large friend group and it went okay but I don't really want to do that again because it was rough for me even though I appeared fine. This one was rougher because she was nearly everything I wanted.

I truly don't believe that you can have anything other than a superficial friendship after a few years if it was a long relationship. Otherwise it really is too difficult for one or both of the people involved to handle/not truly moving on to the person they are/will be with now/the future.

>>18044435
Yeah well he was the one that loved you unconditionally and you're the one depriving us both of a real relationship.
I want to marry you and have kids until I found out you cheated.

>>18044435
Don't bother reaching out in a couple months once you realize what you've lost it'll be too late. I'll never forgive. For the way you've treated me after I explained everything to you.

>>18044435
You know damn well I didn't mean what was said you're holding this break up over my head out of spite.

>>18044435
All that said, I hope you're alright and even though everything is fucked between you will always be my baby girl, please be safe.

>>18044435
Have you considered that since it was aburpt maybe he made a mistake but can't do anything because he can't even apologize, why don't you hear what the man had to say to you. I mean it's a really sad why add pain let him apologize maybe the reason you're so mad is the same reason he is because we're human and make mistakes but that doesn't mean we don't love each other. And not to mention it's Valentine's and you know I want to spoil you please let me

Posting my story

We had a really intense relationship, lots of good times, lots of fights but also a lot of sex, we really pushed each other I guess. Fire and fire. Brought out both the best and the worst of each other. She broke up with me in March when she was on the other side of the world for Exchange semester. Had my ticket already booked and eventually went there on my own.

Over the summer, she got a pretty nasty accident where she fell from a cliff and crippled large parts of her back. No paralysis. We met up again and saw each other sometime but I couldnt take seeing her, I was still too much into it I guess. Be aware she was my first real love and I did some pretty romantic fucking things for this girl.

Established a no contact rule since October until we bumped into each other on a party again. No contact and I was stressed as fuck about seeing her. Didnt say shit.

Last week I saw her again, grabbed my balls together and asked if she wanted to meet up because I was genuinely interested in how she was doing. She rejected. We saw each other again on a party last thursday, we had a long and serious talk (both drunk obviously) and we made out.

This made me think, but not in a panic kind of way. I guess I still have feelings for her, and I reckon we both changed in the meantime. I just want to discover someone else and perhaps just co exist with my ex in life when ever that is we see each other. Not friends.

I'm not really sure yet what I want to do with this situation. She texted me numerous times last week in the middle of the night when I was asleep.

>>18042985
He's dead to me. I don't talk to him, I don't talk about him unless asked, I don't talk to his friends because I know they're all two-faced and relay everything I say to him.

He made it damn clear he didn't need me anyway since he got with his "friend" a week after he left me after we had been dating for over 3 years and had our own place together. There's no point in staying in contact with someone who gives zero shits about you.

Sorry for all the run-on sentences. It's late.

This happened last night. I had a few relationships before her and I'm not in contact with any of those exes at all anymore but I met her when I was 18 and she was 24.

We were together 5 years and i can honestly say she's the only person I ever loved. I was always quite depressed and self destructive and had never told anyone but her about it so over time began to take her support for granted and used her as an emotional punching bag. It wasn't deliberate but hindsight is always 20/20. We rented a house, had a dog, car, furniture, everything. It was a difficult break up.

I decided to end it with her because one day we were arguing and I realised I just couldn't do it anymore. We lived together for another 2 months or so because we couldn't find places, it was torture and I'd consider it among the saddest times of my life. Hearing somebody you love crying downstairs at 3 in the morning and knowing you can't go down and support them because they're crying for you. Within a month of breaking up with her I went to a party took loads of MDMA for 3 days straight and ended up fucking this girl. It was meaningless and made me feel shallow and empty but I felt like after a long term relationship maybe that's what I needed. Naturally she found out and hated me for it and after that I quickly moved out to a horrible room in a bad area just to get away and left her all of our stuff because she wasn't from the UK originally and I knew she didn't have any roots here to help her. Fast forward two years and she added me on Facebook then deleted the request. I was excited but when I text her she said it was an accident. We arranged to meet but for whatever reason didn't.

A lot has happened in my life at this point and I realise what a dick I was being before. I had been diagnosed as HF BPD and im now taking medication and have just generally grown and realised a lot about myself so wanted to express that to her and let her now I see now what I was doing and apologise.

OP dont worry. I did a similar thing.

My ex abused me for 6 years. I havent seen him in 3 years but i still get monthly nightmares of him breaking into my house and killing me and my family.

When we broke up for the final time, he threatened suicide like always. But my supportive sibling said to shut the door and that i didnt have to put up with it anymore. They gave me the courage to finally call the police and place him on suicide watch, and he was even held over the normal 48 hours because of his behavior. He was held there for a whole week.

During that week i blocked him on every bit of social media. I also blocked any of our friends that were closer to him than me. But i kept the friends that were closer to me than him, which were pretty much 90% of our shared friends.

I blocked his parents on social media too because his fucking mom called me while he was held in the suicide ward and blamed me for him being held there longer than the 48 hours. I called her a bitch and told her maybe she should have raised her son better because it was his own behavior that caused him to be held longer. Then i blocked her. His dad also called me because the police took their guns away (his family were the white red neck types with guns everywhere). Had to block him and the rest of his entire damn family God damn.

So yeah we are enemies and his best friend tries to still be friends with me by coming and knocking on my door every once in a while since he lives up the street. Luckily im never home when he does and my family lets me know.

Sometimes i think about mailing them something nasty but dont have the guts cuz im scared he will come end me for sure this time