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Anonymous
Freeloading sister in law. 2017-02-12 03:35:58 Post No. 18042896
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Freeloading sister in law. 2017-02-12 03:35:58 Post No. 18042896
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Hello advisors.
My sister-in law has been living with my wife and I for the past 6 months about 3 days out of every week. The rest of the time she lives with my in laws who are actually her grandparents (who also raised my wife). She doesnt stay at the grandparents house permanently because her grandfather is always hounding her for rent money and on her ass about getting a job. At this point I want to do the same, but I have always been very patient and generous person. I think I am beginning to realize that I am enabling her freeloading behavior by not saying anything about the food she eats, or the money she gets from my wife which is used to eat at resturaunts and go to the movies, something I never do because I cant afford it. All my time is spent going to school full time, and the rest of my week is part time work at a healthcare facility. My wife also works full time, we are both nurses. Our houseguest doesnt pay anything, and our place is filthy because noone is cleaning up or doing laundry. I had always cleaned and washed while in school but I'm just not going to do it for 3 people, so now we live in filth. I dont pay any bills except cable internet, and the rest of my money is used to pay for school.
She is a high school dropout and when I encourage her to go back to school, she makes excuses like ADD. My wife and I are both 26 and she is 21.
If I just kick her out she woll be homeless and will probably blame my wife and I but I really want her to learn some responsibility and support herself. Up until now we have just been happily coexisting but I think I just hit the wall.
What would you do?
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>>18042896
You fucked up by marrying too early. Youre still going to school, what the fuck. And blaming the filthy house is everyone's responsibility. Handle your shit and tell your wife how you really feel.
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>>18042901
I take this back. Sounds like your wife is the one paying the actual bills. How about you fucking clean up the house you fucking freeloader.
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ADD? what the fuck how would that prevent the bitch from being a dishwasher at Chilis?
Man that's tough. You married into a family with a lazy autist. But yeah, talk to your wife and let her know what you think.
The good news is that this won't last forever. She'll eventually find some dupe boyfriend who she'll latch onto and get pregnant, or you'll move to a new city for work and you'll leave her behind
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>>18042901
This is retarded. Both OP and his wife are clearly very responsible and are able to handle marriage.
Spoiler: [spoiler]People used to marry in their early 20's for generations[/spoiler]
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>>18042896
if she wont work or pay, make her keep the house up. have her clean, do laundry, maintain yard, etc.
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>>18042896
You are very much enabling her.
If you kick her out, she has a choice; to be homeless, or pay rent at the grandparents.
This is not your choice, so homeless is not your fault.
Are you prepared to let her live with you forever? The grandparents will eventually die, what then?
They're trying to teach her something and you're not helping.
Sounds like you already know all of this. I understand, sometimes you need somebody else to say it out loud..
An easy out would be to charge her, per night.. (not much, but compare to a hotel with maid service, and a full kitchen?) if she doesn't have cash, make her work for it. Not just pick up after herself..
Letting people freeload never actually helps like you hope it will. If you start making her do chores, eventually she'll get it, and decide to go "do chores" at a job, and get paid in money. (I'd be quick to suggest it too, if she complains; people really do get paid to wash dishes)
Suggest this to your wife.. the sister will shape up or expose herself as a lazy-ass freeloader.
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