Never been in a relationship and don't know why.

>>18042059
>I've been a fat shit
you answered your own goddamn question retard. Lose weight and you'll have a better chance. Would you wanna fuck a beached whale?

>>18042059
Hate to be rude but it's cos you fat and have the charisma and social skills of a grey brick.

>>18042063
But im not beached whale status anymore, although I'm no sexy dolphin.

>>18042066
Can't really prove that I don't have any social skills or charisma, but take my word for it?

OP no what you should keep doing is losing weight. The hard truth, and no personal offense of course my friend, is that being fat is unattractive. Only people who have a specific fetish for fat people like fat people. And even those are bad because they encourage you to stay fat for the fetish. Which is extremely unhealthy for you. You could find somebody who is attracted to your personality and will "Love you for who you are" but even still you would be come more attractive to them through the weight loss. And, it is important to get this weight loss in with any girl you date because it will significantly increase your life span.

I will share with you my weight loss strategy. It is so good that I have been losing weight with 0 effort. No hunger or anything. Even though I failed at any other diet a week in. Here is what you do.

1. Make an account on myfitness pal and spend 5 minutes, that's it, 5 minutes, logging in the calories you ate for the day.That website tells you how much you can eat to lose weight.

2.Get hunger suppressant pills. Now you're making sure you're eating enough to lose weight and you're not hungry anymore. Great progress so far. Any hunger you feel at the beginning will get weaker over time. Use hunger management strategies to get through this. Drink a lot of water to feel full. Eat foods that are extremely filling and sit in your stomach forever.

3. Eat the type of foods you regularly eat. Having to switch to some unappealing healthy diet to lose weight is bad. Care about fixing your diet after the weight loss is gone. It's much easier.

And that's it really. I eat whatever I want and now my hunger is so weak that I can eat whatever I want and only eat enough of it to lose weight. I spend 5 minutes a day on a website. That's literally all i'm doing to lose 40 pounds. And it's fucking working.

Make sure determine what the healthiest low weight is for you. That way you don't lose weight and stop like 40 pounds above a healthy weight.

>>18042059

You still consider yourself unattractive. You don't feel like you'd be offering something physically to the girl, and as such, have probably never tried in earnest to get a gf.

Thing with human life (basically throughout history and cultures) it falls upon us men to do the work in initiating the relationship. There are of course exception instances, but this is the rule. Call it unfair/whatever, but it's just the way it is. You need to be able to approach girls, build connection with girls, and ask them out; gf them; and later wife them. Girls' role is to beautify themselves and choose out of suitors.

To do that, one of the main things is that you need to be ok with yourself. Seems like you've got that down-pat socially. All that's left is just your body.

So just keep gyming till you lose the fat till you can feel good about your body. In relation to this, I'd say just chill. Take your time and do not be stressed out by time passing. You will lose the fat. You *will* look good. And once that confidence comes, it's all-go for you.

Note-i think it will help to learn about male-female interaction, starting now. I suggest the book Models by Mark Manson.

>>18042066
Even if you get skinny you'll still be fat for a little while, it takes time to stop acting like the fat kid and start acting like a sexy dolphin.
As you loose weight you'll start walking different, holding yourself up higher and straighter and you'll hopefully walk with more confidence. You'll start talking differently, stop feeling the need to make self depreciating jokes and learn to be more than just the fat kid but a person. And loads of other things will change.

Being fat can take a long while to grow out of even if you get skinny.

>>18042075
I've lost 150 pounds. I've seen people fatter than me in relationships, I don't know why I cant find SOMEONE.

And my strategy works just fine, thanks for the support tho. You shouldnt rely on hunger suppressing pills, youll never form a good relationship with food that way and will gain it back after you've stopped using them.

>>18042080
What do you mean by trying in earnest? Like I'm holding myself back or something? I feel like im there though in terms of my body, socially I feel like I've always been in the right spot. Like I'm not 100% healthy weight I want to aim for 20% bodyfat, but I'm not in the obese BMI range anymore either.

Is that one of those redpill books btw? That's such an abhorrent way to look at the world Im not interested if it is.

>>18042085
Hmm, I can't really deny this at all. One of the first things I noticed as I lost weight was how ineffective my self-deprecation jokes landed. Most of them were weight based and I still have trouble not going to them. Self deprecation is a great way to endear yourself amongst new people, shows you dont take yourself too seriously. But at the same time go in too hard and it comes across as unattractive. I still definitely think with a mindset, although I feel very confident in myself because I've lost so much weight and I think I look great, but perhaps that fat mindset shines through and isnt very attractive, idk.

>>18042059
What are you doing to get in a relationship?

Congrats on the weight loss OP, chubby guys are cute.

>>18042449
It's not really that weird. People can't find SOMEONE even when they look good. It's just the way the world works.
Where are you going out? Are you just sitting in a bar waiting for a girl to come into your group and start hitting on you? Or are you actively working on getting that SOMEONE and it's just not happening?

Hooking up with someone is not like in the movies, you just show up and bam everyone is making out.
You have to start going out for months, meeting new people, FLIRTING etc.

What kind of girl do you want?

>>18042454
Well I'm going out with my friends, meeting new people, usually through those friends (friend of a friend type things) and talking to them, trying to see if they might be interested. I'm doing the typical flirting, telling jokes, trying to get them to laugh. If I think the girl is interested, I'll ask them out. So far this has resulted in all nos except for one, but that never lead anywhere. Most of the nos are then followed up with "I only see you as a friend" so it's obvious they like being around me, but not romantically.

That's what bothers me more than anything, that I'm not some weird creeper no one likes, it's that I'm simply not desirable enough to go on a date with or even for a casual hookup. I want to hope that its really just my weight and that when I lose even more women will go out with me, that's an easy fix and I'm on my way to accomplishing that. If its something with my personality...that's a way bigger and tougher issue to tackle.

>>18042460
The thing is though I am going out, having a fun time with my friends, and letting the night lead me. I'm not waiting for women to come up to me at a bar, and I definitely am not going up to random women myself, I don't have the personality for it nor do I think it will lead to what I want if i'm successful anyway. Usually I meet new people through my friends and go from there, and yes flirting is part of that. I'm thinking that it may be that I'm not meeting enough women (my friend group is mostly male and single, female friends are in relationships except for 1 and she's not interested in me) and that it might simply be that i'm merely unlucky and if I were able to expand the pool of females I interact with I would find someone fairly easily, which has led me to think about online dating, but I've always felt weird about it so never tried it.

As for a "kind" of girl? idk, I have no experience with women romantically except for very limited instances. I want someone who wants me.

>>18042449
>What do you mean by trying in earnest?
That you still think like a fat person.

"Why would anyone date someone so gross looking?"
"Although my body is still gross..."
~You

>Like I'm holding myself back or something?
Yes, but at a subconscious level.

>I feel like im there though in terms of my body,
Apparently not.


>Is that one of those redpill books btw?
No.

>>18043364
I guess you're right, Its still gross, but I feel like it's not "that" gross anymore so I give myself a pass, but maybe subconsciously, yeah I'm still not really feeling it yet. How do fat people not feel like gross blobs of crap then? It's beyond me. I see me, I see what i once was, and I see how I should be, and I find it weird other people are ok with being so unhealthy and looking that way. I mean I was there, but I wasnt ok with it, I always knew it was bad.

And yeah I found a pdf of the first few chapters online and read through the first 2. It does sound like something that would help me so I'll take a longer look at it sounds useful.

I'm a lot Like you only not fat. Here's some advice talk to people. just fucking talk to people and try to be a pleasant person to be around. The only hard part is trying and being open to when you fail to talk to people. Oh god I've failed at talking to people bade. The important thing is I got the fuck back up so can you.

Now for the weight loss thing it will help you feel better and improve your mood. For me I try to stretch in the morning and before going to bed. And try to go for a walk at some point in the week or day. A little sunshine can help the soul dude. Please never give up I'm cheering for ya buddy.

>>18042454
>chubby guys are cute
Said no one ever.

Yeah I was a gross teenager. While this was back when most teenagers were gross, I was at least 60lb overweight with a curtain haircut with gel in it, round gold coloured old people glasses, a tan zip up jacket, oversized 'surf shack' shirt, baggy jeans, timberland sweater tied around the waist, fucking 90's man.

I didn't get anywhere with women until I changed my image. I can't say I did it very intelligently. Started giving myself DIY haircuts before hipsters were a thing, stopped eating food, put myself on black coffee and cigarettes instead and did a quick circuit of press ups, pull ups, burpees and crunches every 15 minutes when I was using the computer for 18 hours a day. Eventually I was 140lb @ 6'2" and I started wearing skinny jeans, black or white t shirts and combat boots while playing guitar in a noise band.

Suddenly women were really interested in me. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 20 though because I was so completely disgusting as a teenager, like I wish somebody tried to advise me or something, but it was a simpler, more horrible time where photos were barely digital unless you wanted to pay a fortune for something that shot in vga resolution and took 11 minutes to transfer via a parallel port.

>>18044800
Dadbod totally hasn't been a thing for the last 5 years.

>>18042999
Ok, so your problem is definitely your demeanor.

Losing weight will naturally help with that but i'm getting the vibe that you're not "man enough" for the girls. It's like you said, strangers at bars aren't for you. But it can be practice, and you have nothing to lose from it. It's also here you said it's not your style.

IF you haven't, you need to be a little more selfish, and embrace your manliness. Be more aggressive, assertive, confident, and lay waste to insecurities. Those are just some of the more important qualities to girls that say hey, this guy is a suitable partner.

It's like, whatever you're doing that's getting you friendzoned are the qualities of being a good friend but you don't realize it. The most broad one i can think of is "oh i'll always be there for her and lend a ear" something like friendship reliability weighing against partner reliability.

This ties into the bit about selfishness is that even if people manage to get into a relationship somehow, the girl's going to feel smothered. Displaying your selfishness provides space and gives the females more opportunity to support instead of the other way around

>>18045427
I see your point, but how do you get into a conversation with a girl and not give off a "just a friend" vibe? I mean, I flirt, I don't bend over backwards to agree with her opinions, and if the situation calls for it, I'll give her a little shit about something she did/said. I've fallen into the too nice trap before, but I havent been that way for a while now. If I get into a conversation about a show that we both like or a book we've both read, how do I keep the idea in her mind of me as a suitable partner and not just a friend? I honestly don't know what I'm doing wrong in that regard.

>>18042059
Internet dating.