Weird grief

>>18041880

>5 lines
>cont

no.

>call new friend (let's call her 'kay'"a week later
>it's 8pm, the day before Christmas Eve
>"im at the pub, Kay do you wanna join?"
>"sorry anon I'm at my mums house in [2 hrs drive away] but we'll hang out after Christmas!"
>christmas eve I come back from work at noon
>husband picks me up, buys me lunch and compliments me
>thinking he's feeling guilty about something
>we get home and his Facebook notifications appear on our computer/tv screen setup
>message from husbands coworker "I just don't know what to do" "I'm angry and hurt"
>I look at my husband
>"I didn't want to tell you until after Christmas anon... Kay passed away last night and we don't know how"

>

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>>18041897
Oooh shit this is getting good, continue plz

>>18041897
>Kay is dead
>husbands coworker was about to propose and is understandably distraught
>we see coworker regularly and he is deteriorating, can't sleep in his own bed, spent all his money on the funeral, got fired on the day of the funeral... soulcrushing shit
>husband and I are emotionally exhausted from the funeral and seeing what losing her has done to her would be fiancé.
>autopsy provides no closure and nobody is permitted to see the body. "Sudden adult death syndrome" is all we know.

I feel terrified of losing anyone in my life like this again and I have hardly slept or eaten since Christmas. I feel selfish to grieve because I didn't know her long enough, but I know we could have been best friends and it kills me.

That's... genuinely awful. Only thing you can do is take it one day at a time and help out the coworker any way you can, until he's at least somewhat stable.

>>18041993
Her family have been very good to him and I've had him visit us every week. He's managing, but truly I've never seen anything so harrowing.

I will never take anyone for granted now, and that's because of Kay.
I hate that I learned so much cool stuff about her after she died.
I hate that she was the kindest person I'd ever met and she died in less than a year after I first met her.

>>18042038
I feel for you. Life is unfair. The only way to conquer it is to endure its injustices, and be empowered by it.

So best of luck to you and your loved ones, anon. And thank you for sharing.

Pretty much how my wife and I felt when the wife of my best friend passed away from heart attack with absolutely no warning. Rips the heart right out.

The way I figure it, and this came to me after my father died, death wins all the time on an individual basis. It can be beaten on a global basis, but that means raising children who are better people and at least as numerous as the ones who passed away. More significant is that they be better people than the previous generation, then they will want to make the same sacrifices, and more. This requires a lot of effort from the parents (and money is almost irrelevant, you need to invest the efort and a lot of your time).

I don't know what to say OP, other than I am really sorry.