Anyone come back from the brink of suicide?

>>18041713
Hey anon. I've been suicidal and even attempted it. Obviously I was unsuccessful. I'm still struggling with major depression and on meds and see a counsellor and doc twice a week. It's tough. What helps me is a lot of coping mechanisms and my friends and family and coming here to 4chan. I look back on my suicide attempt and see it as a very painful time in my life and think on it with regret. It's still fresh, just a couple of months ago. I still have suicidal thoughts from time to time but distract myself and talk about with others every now and then. It's a struggle but we can make this anon. Just know you're not alone.

Hi anon. I did. I have extremely serious PTSD and a long, long long list of mental, emotional and physical trauma caused by growing up in horribly abusive and dangerous ho.e/family environment. I see a few different doctors now and the current belief is that I will struggle and be behind mentally and physically my entire life.

I survived, accidentally, 3 suicide attempts and was on the brink of a 4th for a good 5-6 years, then for the last 2 years I've been more or less coming out of that fog you lose yourself in.

>>18042111
The hardest things were A) finding the doctors who would take me seriously B) proper support C) Finding some productive shit to do that is soothing and works WITH my disabilities and D) Accepting and forgiving yourself despite any negativity that you or others have beaten through and locked inside of you.

Things CAN get better, but you will have to put in way more work just to stay balanced than normal, healthy people. And it will feel like you're alone, but you aren't. Recovery from suicidal depression is something that will take years, dude. I've been fighting mine for roughly 25 and just barely starting to find some level of peace.

Consider trying out all the drugs they can give you, even anti-psychotics. I myself did not get better on SSRIs but go through any you haven't tried. Wellbutriin is also good, but never tried it myself. Seriously ask for it by name. If none of that shit works. Try scoring MDMA off the street, and taking a little bit of it. They're discovering that it does wonders for depression and PTSD. Also, look into CBD hash oil (helped me a little bit).

Talk to a shrink. If your current therapist sucks, find a good one. Attend classes. Try to see people. Try to go out and get sunlight. Whatever hobbies you have, or once had, try them again. Do something that can keep your mind pre-occupied with something. Even traditional loser shit, like playing games is beneficial. The other day, I read that some old guy is keeping on because of Destiny, despite his life really unraveling. MOBA (league or DOTA) really keep you busy. Anything.

Key here is try to keep your mind from thinking about suicide. I don't know what will do it for you. But you have to run down the list and try things every day. Good luck anon. Everyone experiences depression. It's phase in people's lives. But obviously, people like you, have it worse than others, and it feels impossible for things to get better. I know. I've been there. But trust me, life can and does get better. You have to keep that hope alive, like a candle in the dark.

File: Screen Shot 2017-02-11 at 11.24.36 PM.jpg (230KB, 721x703px) Image search: [Google]

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i just wrote a suicide note right now. im not going to do it. but i just wanted to write it because i feel so empty. i came on here to post it and saw this thread. so here you guys go

>>18041713
I get closer to the brink which each day it seems. I'm joining the Army. Trump's America and all that, so I hope it makes my life better.

>>18042250
If I don't get in, I'll probably just wagecuck until I can save up for a gun then end it all.

>>18042223
Who is your love, Anon? If you were single, I'd stand with you wanting to die, but don't leave the one you love hanging...

>>18042223
Also, don't fucking guilt your "best friend". I cannot even respect that. I don't know your situation, but you can't shit on your supposed best friend for not knowing exactly what was wrong with you. You are both to blame.

>>18042268
yea you're right. but i constantly hit up my friend and he just ignores me. he knows that i am alone. he is selfish. i know its not right to blame him about anything i dont blame him for how i am. i was just writing my thoughts out thats all

>>18042256
my girlfriend. i know. i love her so much. leaving her would devastate her. she is so innocent

>>18042268
plus its not like he doesnt know i struggle with depression. we have been friends for like 6 years and im always there for him whenever he needs me. ill take a 2 hour bus trip to his house to hear him cry. but he won't even drive his car to meet me anywhere, let alone respond to me when he doesnt need me

Kind of. I have killed myself plenty of times. I died some time in 2002, I think. I have no clue how much time has passed since then, maybe a minute, maybe really the actual 15 years I have "lived" here? I have no recollection of how I died in my natural life, that bothers me a lot. I think I was killed. Here, whatever or where-ever this is, i have killed myself at least a few times. Every time I do that, I find myself slightly less well off, in a slightly worse world. Every time I realize how bad it is, it gets somehow worse. I suspect that this is hell. Now I try to avoid suicide, as best I can.

>>18041713
I don't have any drastic moments or anything. I have had suicidal thoughts for a big part of my life, but one day I witnessed someone that I don't particularly like talk down on another person who died. I was really upset at that. Not that I cared for the deceased or anything, just that if I die before that faggot, he'd talk shit on me as well.
Now that I know there are people like that, it stops me from being suicidal. I want to be the one that pisses on those guys' grave and not the other way around.

I don't know how things might work out for you, but that's what I got.

>>18041713 Hey op. I've been in your position before and I can assure you I know how much it fucking sucks. Tried suicide twice with pills (didn't work because I'm bigger plus wrong pills). I've found that surrounding myself with people who care about me and who I care about is helpful with a combination of the right medication and consistent therapy. Now I live life like I did before shit hit the fan. Also, try joining a DBT group that focuses on various coping methods for different situations. You will make it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-BtquTKw78

>>18042223
>money's grasp on me has become tighter on me
it flows better if you remove the second on me

I was with you up until the paragraph addressed to your best friend, don't pin your problems on him because that truly is selfish. Your problems are yours and yours alone.