/sed/ - Attraction General

>>18040843

I think i have a girl on the hook, but the hardest part is figuring out how to ask her to hang out wtih me. im like 60% sure she'd be down and im ready to ask, but i have a lack of money and its scaring me. a part time job isn't really possible and id ask my parents but things are tight with dads recent medical issues.

I live in an okay sized town but i dont know how to invite her to do something because i dont have any money to take her on a date.

any advice?

>>18040854
You don't need to spend money on a date. Don't think that such a requirement even exists.

What matters is that the two of you hang out. So call her or talk to her when you next meet her and just plan going for a walk.
Could be through the city or the park or whatever.
There is no expectation to be met. Just go and ask her.

Contacted my ex of 4 years last week after not speaking for three months.

Told her I was gonna ask her to move in and take more vacations as soon as I secured my new job, and that's why I became distant before the breakup.

She didn't respond, but she did tweet some positive things about missing me, love making us do weird things, and having everything she needs but "I want you."

The thing is she didn't respond, but her friend told me she was dating a guy after the breakup but they split up after he got too clingy and showed he was immature.

Is she shit testing me to see if I'll chase her/validate her post-last letter after no contact? What can I do here? I don't use social media much except to post photography and music, and I know I can't send her another message. I think the message had a positive impact, just continue moving forward and see what happens? or should I ask her to go for a short walk together or something?

Thanks

There's this girl I've been friends with for about a year now. We spend a lot of time together but she's bi and lives with her gf. We randomly went to dinner and she told me she almost broke up and her gf is leaving to a business trip for two weeks and they're relationship is shaky right now. I'm single and she has nothing to do on Valentine's day so she's suggesting we hang out that day. I do like her but didn't want to interfere with her relationship.

What should I do?

>>18040894

remember that romances come and go, but you have to live with what you do for the rest of your life. hwile i wouldn't say this is universally immoral as shes clearly in soem transitional phase, if you feel that you should NOT do this, then be a man and don't do it.

i would say that i would hate having my partner do this to me. but ive been with cheaters before, so i can't really judge.

>>18040894

You get one shot. Either hang out with her on Valentine's day or she'll never view you as anything more than a friend ever again.

Don't blow this, OP. If you like her, hang out with her. If you don't, she'll find another man to eat her pussy on the 14th.

Any advice for the female side of it all? I'm not conventionally attractive, I'm shy, got a touch of the social anxiety, few hobbies all together and zero social hobbies.

I want to build confidence but I don't know how. Years of therapy didn't do it, I'm getting desperate.
How does a lady man up and just take over without, well, losing her ladiness?

>>18040872

You're the one who is in power here because she is trying to get your attention.
She won't explicitly show this though.
So this is a decision that is completely on you and you have to take initiative.
If you think that the relationship would be good and there wouldn't be any problems caused by past things, then you should call her up and plan a date.
Consider if you still like her and if you want her in your life again.
As for if she is shit testing you, that isn't really possible for any one other than you to decide for sure.
If you think she is being illegitimate don't follow up. Move on.

Good luck anon

>>18040905

men aren't intimidated when a girl makes a move. its a TV meme mostly. if a girl goes out and asks the guy out he'd be estatic... but only if the guy was into you.

people act like they are on the edge of making or breaking a potentia lrelationship and that if they get rejected its because they did something wrong, when in reality the person who rejects you was just never into you.

so you go out and talk to men and then make a move.

>>18040905

Well the first pastebin is going to be really valuable to you so I really stress you read it. Its written to be accessibly by anyone.

Outside of the scope of that pastebin, I encourage you to go to the gym, do yoga, and your get body into shape in general.

Then it comes down to going to social places and talking to people.

I don't know much else because I'm not a girl haha.

>>18040908

So even though she was the one who dumped me, I should be the one to say we should meet up? Shouldn't it be her idea to rekindle things?

I feel like I have a shot if I just give her time and space, and feel like if I ask her to go for a walk it will just diffuse the growing attraction. Are you sure I should do this? I'd love to see her, but I feel like if I tell her I want to see her she'll think "oh man he's been waiting three months thinking about me and he's still chasing me? Guess he's weak."

I just don't fucking know, man. Also, she didn't respond to my letter. Isn't that another sign that I shouldn't ask her to meet up?

>>18040926
She's not responding to anything you send her. It's over.

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>>18040920
>haha

>>18040926

its probably over as the other anon said, but one thing to keep in mind is that if you ask to meet up the worst that happens is she says no/ignores you anyways.

>>18040910
Hmm, I suppose it's just hard for me because I'm still pretty rooted in old fashioned gender roles. I idealize the submissive housewife role. It seems the world is just changing though, and admittedly for the better, but it means the place I always dreamed myself into is becoming a nonexistent role.
It feels weird for me being the "dominant" one in a relationship, hell it feels weird for me to even be flat equals. Don't get me wrong, I'm not really wanting to go back to the days of being considered property or anything, but I've just always envisioned myself as following rather than leading.
I'm pretty used to rejection, I get rejected a lot, though in the more subtle ways I'll admit. I can take a hint extremely well, and move on just fine. Its not so much that it's the fear of rejection thats keeping me from approaching, it's the archaic notion in my head that I should be the quiet woman, seen not heard, and handle myself in the most feminine grace I possibly can.
>>18040920
I'll give it a look. I started to watch the videos on approach anxiety and insecurity but found it to be still a lot more male based. Some of it I could apply to myself though.
I'm working on my body, it's an ever going process. I've been trying to make it my goal to go out to social venues, bars since that's all my town has, just to be present and get used to the atmosphere. Observing.
As I kind of described above though, it's shaking these notions that I'm not behaving properly, I shouldn't be there, I shouldn't be approaching men because that makes me seem manish and masculine. That's not the role I'm supposed to play.
Guess I was just born in the wrong decade huh? Strangely enough too, I have extremely liberal parents and a staunch feminist mother.

Is tinder actually any good? I only got it yesterday, and got a match earlier today, but didn't message her (combination of actually having something to do that I was procrastinating on, and just generally bitching out).

>>18040934

The thing is I've noticed a pattern with her. During the breakup I would message her, and she would respond like a week to two weeks later. I think she does it to see if I'm not emotionally weak/clingy, a shit test.

I think this one is a shit test too. With valentine's day coming up I think asking her to meet up is a horrible idea and basically says "hey I don't have enough love in my life lately and I really miss you, can we hang out?"

Fuck that, I'm sticking with no contact. It'd be cool if she comes back, but if not I'm sure I'll meet someone better.

>>18040926

If you don't feel like it would be right to talk to her then don't.
But you also need to understand that she can't be stuck in your head all the time.

She is trying to get your attention so she is clearly interested. But it is almost guaranteed she isn't going to try ask you. Almost surely she is waiting for you to take initiative and talk to her.

>>18040934
>>18040943
What these anons said isn't completely true. The fact that she isn't responding doesn't mean shit. You need to be very very blunt when you communicate. Either call her or meet up with her.

Don't sit around waiting for things to happen.
And don't let it hurt you if she doesn't want to get back together. You are good with or without her.
It is YOUR decision. If you her in your life, call her or meet up with her. No text messages.

>>18040949

keep in mind that once you make the first move, your 'dominance' can stop there. after that, once men know you're in and that they're in, it becomes like any other relationship generally unless oyu go for a legit submissive guy.

but just cuz you make the first move doesn't mean hes submissive.

good job OP. this could be very promising.

>>18040952

It's good for hookups and casual dating. A lot of men on here are very unexperienced when it comes to dating and will fuck up every Tinder match they get. Even if they do get a date, chances are they'll become too clingy and beta and scare the women off.

Look up proper dating techniques before starting Tinder dating.

Important keys to successful Tinder relationships:
>If a girl says she's only talking to you, she's lying, and that's okay. You should be seeing multiple people too.
>Don't look for a girlfriend, look for dates. NEVER bring up relationship talk, even if you've been hanging out every day for the past month. When she's ready to be your girlfriend, she'll ask you. Your job is to take her out, have fun, give her orgasms, and text her as little as possible.
>After a successful date, say "I had fun" kiss her goodnight, and DO NOT contact her again for at least a week. If you did well, 99% of girls will text you within 3-5 days telling you how much fun they had. That's your signal to say "Me too, I had a great time. When are you free to get together again?" Then plan the next definite date and stop texting her. Meet up with her at set date and time, repeat date, hook up, then say "i had fun" and repeat the same process of waiting for her to contact you.

Most important rule:
>DO NOT GET ATTACHED. DO NOT GET ATTACHED. DO NOT GET ATTACHED.

Tinder girlfriends come and go like the rain. I've dated girls for 3-5 months who never asked to be my official girlfriend and one day just said "hey I'm moving to Florida, it was great getting to know you."

Remember, it's CASUAL dating.

>>18040958
Hmm true, I never really thought about it that way. I suppose I always assumed guys who didn't make the first move were either submissive at heart, or just weren't interested in me enough to approach. If I came to them and dangled myself in front of them, yeah they'll take a swipe, but I'd never be their priority.

There's other possibilities than that though I guess.

>>18040955

When should I ask her to meet up? Last message I sent was last Sunday, she didn't respond but posted positive tweets she knows I probably assumed I saw.

I don't want to ask her out before Valentine's day, maybe wait a week after Valentine's? I don't know.

Are you sure asking her out is the best option? I've heard a million times "if she dumped you, it has to be her idea to get together. Don't chase her."

This is all so fucking confusing.

>>18040965
Thanks for the info. Any tips on first messaging the girl? I'm pretty inexperienced at dating, but was more looking for casual hook ups at the moment, seeing as I'll probably be leaving the area in a few months.

>>18040976

I wrote up a huge Tinder dating/hookup guide on a thread a month or two ago, I think a few people saved it. If someone has it and can post it that would be awesome.

Don't over-think the first message. If a girl is interested in you, you can literally send a smiley face and she'll react positively. The goal is to send 3-5 casual messages MAX, confirm mutual interest, ask for her number, then text her and set up a definite date and cut communication until you meet in person.

Some first messages I used "How does this work? We're dating now, right.." "I've never used this app before, are we supposed to cuddle or something?" "You look like trouble."

If the girl doesn't seem freaky/alt in anyway, you can literally just say "Hey! How's your day going" and it will work if you sense she's that type of girl.

>>18040973
>Are you sure asking her out is the best option?
How you described the situation, 90% of the time it is the best option.

>This is all so fucking confusing.
You are just over thinking it. There is no secret to this. Nobody has approved a certain sequence of actions for this type of thing. Don't think logically about shit. If you want her just fucking call her.
Don't need her. Never need her.
If you like her around, and find that she adds to your fun, then you probably will want her.
If it is the opposite, you don't want her.

Decide which one describes you, then based off which one it is call her or don't.
When to call her doesn't matter as long as you do it SOON. If you take too much time you are sending the message that you are not interested and she won't be interested either.
Take initiative. Stop trying to strategize.

>>18040991

Ehhh so you're basically saying "She'll probably say no, but hey at least you tried."

This guy on youtube is saying the complete opposite

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2q5AWN81-3E

Basically if you got dumped, your only chance to get her back is by walking away and not contacting her ever again. This makes much more sense to me, because I've dumped girls in the past and when they chased me it just made me feel empowered and pity them, but as soon as I stopped hearing from them I would think about them more positively and even start to miss them. Texted one who was chasing then went no contact and she didn't respond, felt bad man.

I don't see why you think contacting her is my best option, it just seems like the quickest option with the highest chance of failure. Not very effective

>>18041018
Did you fuckin watch the video?

The guy literally says
"If you hear from her contacting you, she wants to see you."
"Make a definite date, when you hear from her, when she contacts you"

And I am stressing that you CALL her. Stop the fucking text messages. They show weakness.

>>18040843
How the fuck do you tell if a girl likes you? I've had girls flirt with me while not interested (touching my body etc...) and others that liked me didn't even talk to me.
I can tell when someone is flirting with me but i can't tell if they like me, a girl even basically stalked me, asking people for my number and always tried to hang with me and when i kissed her she said she didn't like me.
I just have no clue how to tell if someone likes me, how do people do it?

>>18040965
a week seems like a long time to wait for contact. if you had a good date, chances are she'll want to hang out again the next weekend. if you wait too long she'll assume you're not interested and make other plans.

depends on the girl really. with hot girls, you can't really expect them to chase you.

you have to read each girl and figure out what she's receptive to.

>>18040894
She just wants cock while her partner is away.
Prepare to be used and discarded like an old empty fucktoy.

>>18041039

That's exactly what I'm saying. I haven't heard from her, so I shouldn't set a date until I do. If I never hear from her again, whatever. But there's no way chasing a girl who dumped you is going to work, it's just going to diminish any chance you had if you just walked away and moved on.

>>18041299
But you clearly said that she keeps mentioning you and saying how much she misses you.

>>18041334

Not to me, on her twitter. I actually unfollowed her on social media because it was getting in my head too much. She hasn't said a word to me in three months, but she has tweeted about me a lot and her friends tell me she misses me, but she hasn't contacted me yet.

She didn't respond to my message yet so messaging her again "hey I know you didn't respond to my text yet but let's meet up" is in no way going to help my chances. No response, move on. That's always how it is.

I will eat my hat if this thread was not made by someone from RSD, shilling it so that some of the desperate robots here become disillusioned enough to pay for their coaching. RSD videos are a fucking sham - almost every video is excessively long because they go off on long tangents, and then when you stop to think about how they actually explained how to solve the problem mentioned in the title, you realise they touched on it briefly and moved on to other things that held your attention because they were interesting, and you wish you could be in interesting situations like they're talking about.

If you don't want to be scammed, and if you don't want to waste hours watching barely helpful videos, I suggest the following:

-The Rational Male by Rollo Tomasi (and his website therationalmale.com, and all the websites on the sidebar there)
-Models by Mark Manson
-Bang + Day Bang by Roosh V
-The Book of Pook

That's all you need. Not even all of them. Pick 2+ bullet points on that list. You don't need to, hell, you shouldn't be spending many hours watching videos on pickup. If you're going to be that devoted, you should be practising, and developing your own techniques rather than listening to some other guy tell you about it. Granted, if you don't seem to be getting anywhere, it's perfectly acceptable to seek guidance from books or videos or blogs or whatever on the subject. But don't waste your time with RSD.

>>18041369
But Im not from RSD.

I have the brains to realize that their content is good though.

There is no scam, the videos are free. The vast majority of content that comes out of RSD is free content.
If you don't like a certain community because you can't get into their headscape, thats fine. But dont try to fucking strawman them as garbage.

Kind of ironic that you would post Roosh V who is constantly complaining about RSD.

I'm fairly good looking, but the women who sho me interest seem to only want sex. How do I look for a nice girl to have a serious relationship with?

Also, since this might come into play, I developed the habit of scowling in public to keep beggers and what not at bay

>>18041409
Also have this problem (sex only, no long term relationships, not the scowl thing).
It's nice to get laid easily, but I'd love to find something serious.

>>18041409

You don't find a gf, you find dates and eventually one of the girls you've been taking on dates will ask to be your gf.

>meet qt
>"We should get together sometime, what's your schedule like?"
>"Okay, how about Friday at 8? Meet me at this pizza place."
>"Sounds great, what's your number in case something comes up? otherwise I'll just meet you there"
>Go on date
>have fun
>kiss or fuck at end of date
>wait for her to text you or text her if she doesn't text you within a few days
>arrange next date
>repeat process
>Over the course of a month she'll fall in love with you and ask something like "so am I the only girl you're seeing?"
>You can say something like "Are you saying you want to be my girlfriend?" and she'll most definitely nod her head yes. and there you go, you got a girlfriend.

How significant is the whole "playing with their hair" bullshit, mostly if you are just sitting next to them in class?

>>18041510

not significant at all desu. if your'e interested in a girl its best to just ask her to hang out. if shes not into you at all she'll make excuses not to and that gives you your answer. if she says yes, than hang out, make it something date like and make a move.

if you're afraid of rejection, just stay single for life.

>>18041510

it's only significant if they're playing with their hair while talking to you/looking at you. doing it while listening to the prof lecture doesn't mean anything (well, maybe she wants to fuck the prof).

gf feels worthless and claims she lost her sex drive completely, how do i help her?

>>18041526
It's not even really significant then, depending on the girl.
I'm constantly touching my hair. Whether I'm looking at and talking to an ugly dude, an attractive dude, or even another woman.

>>18041510
Don't act like a sissy just ask her out. Playing her hair randomly in class is stupid.

Now when you are talking to her, you probably want to be in close proximity, have her in your arms.
As a way of physical flirtation you can pull her hair, not too hard though.

>>18041595
Yeah but the I like you hair playing is different and usually you can confirm with eye contact, etc

>>18041588
You're probably gonna want to give more info but my guess is that she is lowkey communicating that she wants to get fucked by other guys.

I would reaffirm your boundaries, and start caring a lot less about satisfying her every petty complaint.

>>18041600
Perhaps, but definitely not absolute. I feel like I look exactly the same whenever I'm playing with my hair just because, again, it's literally happening 24/7. If I'm not touching my hair, I'm probably dead or sleeping. And I make eye contact with whoever I'm talking to, because thats just what you're supposed to do.

good job OP. the threads been popular enough, and from waht ive seen its lessened these kind of posts on the board.

good work.

So i'm meeting my ex again tomorrow after years. she really wanted to meet me up, and actually invited me to somerestaurant and want to actually pay on me. we did part away in an ugly way, but we always kept talking sometime. she did some nasty stuff, and i don't want to go back to her, but i do miss fucking her.
Honestly, she's a bi and have a grill right now. i don't mind cucking her grill, but she told me before "nothing it's going to happen", but honestly she sends me again naked pics of her, telling some stuff like "i like big guys like you" [spoiler]yeah i did baneposted on her[/spoiler] or giving even more sexual hints and shit. she also just decided to buy something for my birthday, who in a fucking month from now,
She's a trash and i honestly don't want to go back to her, but i do want to fuck and throw her away.

What should i do in the meeting. she's also a tumblrina.

>>18041623
>What should i do in the meeting. she's also a tumblrina.

If you want to fuck her be physical from the getgo.
Start with a hug when you greet her, have lazer eye contact, and be generally speaking in a sexual vibe.
Eventually you want to grab her and make sure your body and hers are together, keep close proximity to her face, and try to kiss her. Keep saying provocative things and try your best to mess with her emotions.

When you kiss her have your hand on the side of her face. Be very direct and unashamed.

You should be doing these things to show her that you desire her. You should not be doing them as a routine. I'm telling you this stuff as inspiration so don't take it literally. You have to feel into the situation.

>she's also a tumblrina
Doesn't matter she'll giggle in your arms all the same. tumblrinas are bimbos.

>>18041637
>>18041623
i meant she say "nothing is going to happen"

So, just be physical from the start, even if she's saying "nah nothing is going to happen between us"?

>>18041648
Absolutely. She is egging you on.

Be unabashed with it. You aren't going to fucking offend her.
You have to communicate what you want immediately. If you don't it won't work.

I appreciate all these resources, OP.

Honestly, I really don't like these kind of "social techniques", it just feels too overwhelming, and it really messes with my peace of mind.

>>18041705
This so much.

I'm a 26 yo virgin, and resolved myself to actually try and get with girls a few months back. Initially that went in a promising way, but then I startted to read up on it and watch videos.

It completely gets me in my head. I can think of nothing but girls and how to get them no matter where I am or what I do. It makes me needy and awkward af aournd them, much worse than before bc I always worry about what to do and say. Nevermind that I feel like I'm slowly losing my personality and passions due to that. The constant reading about other people's success also threw my self-esteem in the toilet while I used to be completely ok with being a virgin at my age and never tried to hide it or lie about it before.

The really fucked up thing is, that whenever I get out of my head and stop giving a fuck because I'm mentally occupied with something else or just too frustrated to care anymore, I find girls being into me to the point where I get aproached again as it used to be before I started to overthink and give off wierd vibes.

Speaking of vibes - isn't flirting and being sexual just an unconscious, unspoken vibe you establish between yourself and a girl naturally given mutual attraction? LIke when a girl stands so close to you it would seem wierd not to put your arm around her hip.
I'm asking this because a lot of my overthinking comes from the fact that just normally talking to a girl won't do anything if you want ot get laid, and that it needs to be "special" in some way.

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>>18041606
she's always been an introvert, but for the past month or so she's been panicking about how alone and unfulfilled she is, i'm her first and she was never the overly promiscuous type, i'd like to believe that it's just a bout of depression that we can solve together or just our relationship maturing, but i'd like to know what you guys think.

>>18040843
Don't stick your dick in ugly everybody otherwise you'll feel the need to post about your embarrassing failures on the internet.

I am really close friends with a woman in her 50s and I am in my 20s. I have fallen hard for her because she is an amazing person. I am close with her family and whatnot since I see her a lot and we spend a lot of time together. I bought her some chocolates for Valentine's Day but her kids and mother will be around. Should I ask her out then or wait until we go to a breakfast together with some of our friends on the 20th where I know I can get her alone? Which timing is best?

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>>18040843
From the oneitis pastebin
>Get out of the mindset that you need the girl. Be happy without her. >Be happy with what you have. What is in you completes you.

If I'm happy without her why would I even want a girl in the first place? All courtship stems from the lack of a gf/wife/whatever, because if we already had something to fill that hole there would be no reason to reproduce.

>>18042640
>If I'm happy without her why would I even want a girl in the first place?

The point is to have the right mindset. It should be that you are bringing her into your fun and making it so that everything is more fun for the both of you.

If you are looking for her to make you happy you are retarded.

Your mindset is that you need a girl to 'fill the void' but I can promise you the girl doesn't give A FLYING FUCK about your empty void. She wants a guy has a great life and is going to make her life better.

Grow up

>>18042653
you're a fucking retard, as if girls that feel empty don't exist too.

>>18042653
I mean I don't disagree, women want to be with happy, successful men.

I'm just talking about where its coming from. I DO think it's possible to be happy without a SO, but I think it's coming from a "hole" of sorts ie. you want something you don't have. It's like desire with anything else in the world.

>>18042658
But you're supposed to be a man anon. Your supposed to be the one that has command over his life.
If you feel empty all the time there is no one to blame but yourself.

>>18042665
Being happy without an SO is saying there is no hole at all. You are complete as you are. You dont need anyone or anything to make you feel at peace. You just are.

You can keep believing your chode mindset all you want, still won't be true. .
Ever heard of monks? You think they give a fuck about your petty desires? They find peace completely from within. There is no hole in them. They just are complete.

You can love women all you want, such is your nature as a man. but you should never ever need them.

>>18042738
You're right, but how do you get that mindset?
I'm >>18041924
and I can't shake the feeling that I need a girl ASAP so I can finally develop sexual confidence and have some reference experience as to how things work.

There was a time where I genuinely didn't feel the need for any girl. i even had girls approach and put moves on me then. But if you *really* don't care about getting laid - guess what, then you won't do anything about it, not even go with a girl who's trying to pull you.

So if I stop caring , I will go back to attracting girl yet being too passive for anything to ever come out of it. And for me to actively pursue them, I need to be fixated on getting laid and needy about it.
So what do? How do you strike that balance between not needing, yet still acting?

>>18040910
>that if they get rejected its because they did something wrong, when in reality the person who rejects you was just never into you

Not true, there are definitely ways that you can fuck it up after they've shown clear interest. I should know, happens to me all the time

>>18042893
>You're right, but how do you get that mindset?

There is no instant way to do this. Its a process you have to live.

Be a positive thinker. Reframe bad thoughts into good ones. If you think "I am alone", turn it into "I am the hero"
Be thankful for the gifts of life. If someone smiles at you, smile back to show thanks. Be thankful for the new day by having the energy to take it on.
Have an expansive attitude. Greet people with a smile and ask them how their day is. Express yourself because your opinion is valuable.
Don't try to meet any expectations. Don't try to please other people. You come first above all others. Be comfortable with who you are. Don't be ashamed of the things you like.
Do everything for yourself. You should be thankful because it makes you feel good. Not because you are trying to fulfill a requirement. You should have an expansive attitude because you like sharing and talking to people. You find it fun.
Meditate every day for at least 20 minutes. Meditation lets you enter the present moment. Realize that the present moment is all you have.

If you do these things, the void you are complaining about will disappear. There is no other way through.
If you want a book to tell you this stuff its called "The Power of Now" by Ekhart Tolle

Discussing laid-advice on /adv/ is like throwing your time into a bottomless pit.

Half of the people here are desperate to get laid, and the other half are running on competitive instinct to lower the other half's chances of getting laid. If you're really serious about learning the art of grabbing pussies, then you're not in /adv/ right now.

>>18040843
> 2 lazy to research ur self there bud

>>18043133
Careful, the rogue janitor's heavily invested in these threads for some weird reason and will delete anything negative you say about this thread.

>>18043378

nope, just the spammers.

>>18043133
Then where do you suggest we should be friend?

>>18043379
Told you. He's lurking, waiting to delete posts

>>18043382

idk if he was lurking waiting to delete posts wouldnt he have deleted something?

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I fear women, I really do. I have never got any female acquaintance, not even mentioning relationship, even friendly one, I am uncomfortable about one-by-one conversations, however, everything is fine whenever I speak with them in groups, in class, etc.

Actually, I don't even feel like a man. Not assertive, passive, not that confident, always feel to be relied upon somebody.

I guess I stuck with it.

Why is it that everytime a girl gets involved within our friend group, everyone fucking changes and everyone sweet talks the girl more than conversing with the rest of the group doing the same thing. I feel like girls ruin the dynamic of our friend group, even though no one bothers to admit it

>>18043651

because guys have been conditioned to put girls before their mates. it sucks but thats the way it is. we say bros before hos but thats never the case.

friendsihps end over liking the same girl, hell they end over a guy liking a girl and just leaving their friends to spend every waking moment with her.

>>18043666
That's fucking wack.

How do I know when a girl actually likes me? what are for sure signs? Girls love to tease me and led me on then when I make a move they aren't interested

>>18043666
Is there a way to call them out without sounding like a dick? Lol

>>18043688
Whenever you see their eyes move away, that's when they're interested

>>18040972
Personally, i rarely ask girls im really really into, because then it feels like "i don't wanna destroy what we have". I get insecure from the fact that i like them so much, and i don't want to get let down.

Girls who are sorta untattractive or not my type, i can hit them up any time. It's actually easier the fatter a girl is to just be like "hi baby want so fuck?" and not care about the consequenses.

I know it's probably just me.

>>18043691

you can have a heart felt conversation. involves a bit of vulnerability.

>be summer of 2016
>best friend and I total pals
>were both single, we have flings but thats about it
>he meets a girl
>they start hanging out
>Shes admittedly pretty great and i love hanging out with her
>suddenly he falls for her hard
>july 4th comes up
>We already have plans
>cancels on me the day before because her mom invited him last minute
>'you're being a bad friend'
>'no, im being a good boyfriend'
>later that month its my birthday
>her birthday is two days before mine
>same weekend
>i ask her if i can have saturday if she wnats friday, im good for either day
>she is fine giving me saturday
>he takes me aside and insists that i should just have my birhtday in the middle of the week or an entirely seperate weekend
>says that he doesn't know what he wants to do for her birthday yet but he wants to have both days open just be safe
>not becuase he wants to take her away for the weekend but just because he doesn't know what day would be better for whatever plans he doesn't have
>insists i should pay more to have my birthday on a different fucking weekend
>i explain the money issues
>'so?'

a week later we had some alone time and i told him how i felt. that i know men lose themselves in relationships and its going to happen sooner or later, but that id appreciatei f he tried to make me a priority when he can, to not treat me like im nothing compared to her.

in addition to this he had a friend who does the same thing to him with his girlfriend. he realized what kind of path he was going down and how if this relationship ended he might not be left with any friends.

so he changed. i thought it would be temporary but its not. its exactly like if he wasn't dating her again. they've been together for a year, this weekends their anniversary. but since july i havent had any issues. he treats me with respect.

>>18043696
expand? I was referring to their behavior

There's this girl that's my friends friend, we rarely talk but I really like her, how do I start something with her?

I had written something 6000 characters long, but I'm going to keep this short and simple.

Me, 22 year old (in 2 hours) kissless virgin. Her, friend of mine for 3 years. I've been into her for 2 and a half. It's not oneitis, but she's by far my main romantic interest. When the attraction began I started trying to flirt a bit at first, walking her to the bus stop and dumb shit like that, but "Don't shit where you eat" so I decided to stop because we have a bunch of friends in common. I think I notice her lose some enthusiasm, but we're still good friends.

Fast forward to today. Luck with women still shit. Not hopeless, but every day I'm feeling lonelier. In worst hemisphere so summer is currently ending. Two weeks ago the gang met up for the first time since the last day of uni at that brewpub.

I had never seen her interested about me and our best friend when we talk about computer hardware, but now she was. I hadn't seen her talk to me so eagerly since the first time we met. She never made physical contact, but after I noticed her leg brushing against mine and tried to subtly place my arm on hers, she put her head on my shoulder for a sec. She remembered when my birthday was and asked "cake of strawberry tart?". When she came in (girls greet with a cheek-to-cheek ala frenchfag), I was facing away from her; she put a hand on my back, I turn and her mouth came basically within an inch directly in front of mine. Don't know if it was an accident or what, but after an awkward pause she gave me a cheek-to-cheek and just casually sat down next to me.

I'm over analyzing things, right? I know for a fact that I'm about as subtle as a train so placing my arm against hers was probably obvious, but then again that might just be my head making shit up. Same with the enthusiasm I noticed to chat with me.

I'm having a party saturday at my place. What do? After all this time thinking the ship had long sailed, do I try to get on it? Or is it just wishful thinking?

>>18043398
>I fear women, I really do. I have never got any female acquaintance
Cold approach

Be brave and do it. You can walk the city during the day or go the clubs during the night but all you need to do is approach girls and talk to them.
If you go to clubs you are not allowed to drink alcohol.

>>18044147
Talk to her and instantly establish that you like her.

>>18044215

It doesn't hurt to try. Talk to her and make it clear what your intentions are. Try to hug or from the start and keep lazer eye contact.

A friend of mine set me up with a girl and we clicked instantly. Said friend turned out to be a cunt and manipulated both of us so he could set her up with another friend of his.

Long story short, I found out, established some of the trust between me and the girl and those two fucks are out of the picture.

The downside is that the situation was really destructive and now we're both cynical and hurt, and projected that into each other. Haven't talked in weeks.

I care about her, want her in my life, and want to be able to take things slow and steady. How the fuck do I get there?

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I'm pretty stuck right now.

I've been hanging out with a friend of mine for a while now. We've been friends for years, but I never liked her until recently, and that was only after she kissed me when we were drunk.

We banter back and forth, she makes fun of me, I make fun of her, she calls me names, I call her names back.

She messages me first a lot too. Usually to rant about something though.

Now here's the thing - she's "dating" someone out of state. I don't want to get inbetween them, and I always wish her the best, but today she was a little different. Just a bit.

We also briefly talked about our sex life, mainly her, but I chimed in too.

We went to a bar a week ago, she got pretty drunk and tried making me dance with her. She bumps into me when we're sitting at the table, and she ALWAYS sits next to me. She also makes fun of me if I don't drink or drink my drinks fast enough, like she's challenging me.

I'm not sure where to go from here.

I do like her, BUT I am okay if nothing happens, however I don't want to ruin a friendship I've had with her, because it was for at least 10 years now - and it wasn't because I liked her. Again, I wasn't attracted to her until pretty recently.

A mutual friend of mine actually asked me If I'd ever consider dating her, and NORMALLY when someone asks this, it's because the person in question had asked them to do it, but he swears she did not. I do believe him however.

He says we would be perfect together since we already argue like a married couple. My brother says the same thing as well.

>>18040843
>How important is it to work out and be big in order to be the proper amount of attractive physically? Would girls ever willingly date some guy who is like 5' 6" 120 lbs or do I need to bulk up in order to stand a chance?

I am asking this because I feel like I look "fine" and not even too skinny but I don't want to be deluded about where I stand, or otherwise ignore a way in which I could improve my attractiveness by a large margin.

>>18044964
You technically don't need to do anything other than take action.
But I always suggest to people that they bathe and wear clean clothes that fit.
Outside of this literally nothing matters. How tall you are and how much you weigh don't matter (unless you are morbidly obese).
Just go up and start talking to girls.
Girls will like you and date you if you are a good guy. Read the pastebins in the OP.

>>18042653
So you're saying if a man has problems, a woman will leave this man? Sorry m8 but good luck making any relationship last if all you're looking for is a man that will never give you any problems. Human beings by definition are imperfect creatures, this whole enlightening thing is bullshit and doesn't always work with everyone. There is no such thing as being complete because it's in your nature to always want something else.

>>18045031
>it's in your nature to always want something else.

Self fulfilling prophecy.

If you believe that BULLSHIT, it will be true.
I'll site the Buddhist monks once again. You honestly think they give a flying fuck about your petty SHIT?

>>18045036
I'm not a Buddhist monk, I wasn't raised in their country so I wouldn't know jack shit about why they do what they do. Their experiences and choices made them what they are.

Relationships are always supposed to be supported by both partners, if only one is giving their all and the other isn't doing enough then it fails because there's only so much shit people can take and different people have different levels of tolerance.