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Guys, I think I fucked up.
Theres this really great guy that I started talking a lot with around September. We went from casual conversations to telling eachother about our depressions and eventually became best friends.
But, that wasn't enough for me. I wanted more.
Around Christmas time, I got the idea of a relationship rolling. We discussed it for some time, then he told me that he had an irl fwb he kinda had feelings for. We talked and talked some more, and he eventually said, "Well, you're closer to me than her." And he mentioned having to call her and tell her it was over. Then, I asked if we were a thing, then. He said "I guess."
I was ecstatic. Just, so, so happy.
Then, two days later, he told me he wanted to think about it. Alrighty, I said, take your time.
Then, one night, he told me that he didn't wanna do it; LDRs don't have the physical intimacy he felt he needs.
I was bawling like a kid. I've been cheated on, used, lied to, manipulated so much in the past, and I thought I finally found something that would work.
However, he still considered us best friends, and wanted to continue being best friends.
A week or so later, I confessed that I still had feelings for him. He suggested that we cut contact until I moved on, as its not healthy to hold feelings like that.
About another week later, I told him that I had gotten over those feelings. We started talking again and such.
In reality, I actually hadn't. I just couldn't go without talking to him.
Today, I know I still have feelings for him. We're still best friends, but part of me just wants to make a relationship between us work no matter the difficulties.
He, on the other hand, has moved on. He tells me about how he hopefully may get another fwb and such.
Yeah, I really fucked up. Like, shit, I want him to take for virginity for fucks sake.
Pic unrelated; its my dog.
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You fucked up what?...
I mean... you did nothing wrong. You worked towards your clear goes, you talked like a grown up instead of playing games like kids.
You were true to yourself and to him.
You are blaming yourself for something that is out of your control: him. He decided he didn't want this, not because you did something, but because he decided that - he has his reason, he has the right to say 'yes' or 'no'.
It seems like you wish to control him, as if he had no choice but to be with you, and that's not even a bit healthy for you. You are blaming yourself for his freedom... It's quite common for that to happen, but you gotta see it as it is.
He is a person, he can decide. You don't decide for him. Maybe he does like you enough to have something, but he was just wishing for something else... I love chocolate cake and vanilla cake, still, I will only eat one of them when I go to the store.
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>>18039996
I feel as if I fucked up by not being able to move on, essentially.
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>>18040005
Moving on takes time. Emotions are not thoughts you can just 'put aside'...
Give yourself time. It will pass, I assure you.
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>>18039989
Just like someone already mentioned above it just takes time. I'm afraid to say there is nothing else you can do.
I think connections like these that start with 2 people opening up deep early are very dangerous because you can get hurt very badly being that vulnerable and affect all your future relationships.
You sound like a nice girl and there's nothing wrong with being a virgin. You shouldn't blame yourself for not being able to make things work with this guy. At least you tried.
As long as you keep trying you're going to be just fine.
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>>18040032
>girl
I'm a dude, kek.
But he's had male partners before, and he's very comfortable in his sexuality.
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>>18040035
>I'm a dude
Gross.
>>18040035
>he's very comfortable in his sexuality
Depraved.
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>>18039989
Break contact and just have time to yourself.
It's better to accept the fact that you tried and he said no over waiting endlessly for the 1% for him to change his mind. You'll probably want to get closer which even makes it worse as you will just be tired of his responses and you'll want the straight answer he never has or thought of.
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