Reject without being asshole?

>>18035793
Tell her the truth if she asks you out. If she doesn't ask you, better for you right?

>>18035807
she would never ask me out. she's way too shy for that I guess. I merely want her stop putting hope in this situation.

I would straight up tell her the truth - including the fact that you do like her, and it's circumstances keeping you apart. That would soften the blow, I think.

On the other hand, are you really sure you want to give up this opportunity for a sweet qtpie? I mean it of course would depend on your circumstances. But having an SO for and to support can be a good experience.

Also, as a mental exercise, imagine a hypothetical scenario where your girl indeed stops liking you and hits up another guy instead. How do you find yourself feeling?


Regarding letting her down gently, you could, along with telling her yourself as above, talk to your sister about it too - where your sister can agree to drop subtle hints and confirming sounds when talking to the girl over time, that corroborates the information that, "yeah, brother is really busy/doesn't have the money for a relationship, etc"

>>18035793
Honestly dude, give it a chance.
If, as you say, you're going to hurt this girl then you may as well enjoy it while you can.
I've been in the same situation a few times, I can honestly say you'll regret it if you don't. I wish I could turn back the clock and give things a go.
Surely there's no circumstances that could stop you from caving a casual qtpie gf.. you don't have to see them every day and she'll understand when you're busy.
Care to elaborate on why you're so busy? Maybe /adv can help..

>>18035848
>straight up tell her the truth - including the fact that you do like her, and it's circumstances keeping you apart
I have to be honest and say that I'm too much of a coward to do that. I can't say it any other way. I'm too mentally damaged to be so courageous + I'm afraid of her reaction. Just the thought of looking into her eyes and seeing how she turns sad would be too much for me.

>imagine a hypothetical scenario where your girl indeed stops liking you and hits up another guy instead. How do you find yourself feeling?
I thought about this before. Sure it hurts, but ultimately I was hoping for it because it would mean she found happiness and didn't waste her time anymore pursuing a hopeless cause. I would still think about her, but I'm sure over the years it would fade into just another memory.

>talk to your sister about it
My sister is a bit of a bitch sometimes. We get along well, but we never talk about deep feelings or relationships really.

>>18035882
>you may as well enjoy it while you can
I'm not like that. I would never start a relationship well knowing that it would fail later on. I personally see no sense in this.

>Care to elaborate on why you're so busy?
It's culmination of many factors. Health/finances/life outlook etc. I can never live together with someone. Even if there was acceptance on the other side, I wouldn't want to, because I personally believe that a man should do his best to provide a quality life for his partner and children eventually. This I can never do. I want her to be happy and lead a normal life, not fall into an endless pit with me.

I just have one more year of uni left. I suppose I'll try my best to avoid her and hope that she gives up eventually.

>>18035908
Wow OP you sound just like me :'( it hurts. That's what I would tell a girl if she wanted to be in my life.

>>18035908
Dude... you need to take a good hard look at yourself.
Nobody should ever talk about themselves like that, wise up and be confident in yourself. You're a Uni student, you're already doing better than 75% of people your age.
Time will change things, you will change, life will get better. Sounds like this girl is pretty sweet and into you, give it a chance. Perhaps she will make you a better, happier person.
And as for then it about not getting into something that won't last.. why won't it last? You seem determined to fail before you've even started.
I can see your logic, about not starting something that doesn't last forever, but relationships don't follow logic mate, they're emotional and something completely intangible.
I know it's very hard to explain, but again, give it a go, it may be better than you'd hoped, it might last forever, and hey-it might not! But you will appreciate that you did and live with one less regret, a little older and a lot wiser.

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>tfw no shy qt gf to reject

>>18035908
>I have to be honest and say that I'm too much of a coward to do that.

There is no other way so as to not either waste her time, or hurt her.

If real life is too hard, what about having this conversation with her through messaging? (text, facebook, etc)


Also, I respect you for wanting to provide as a man, etc. That is really commendable. I think in much the same way. However, as time goes on, I'm coming to realize that human relationships are more significant than the circumstances in which they occur. Your love for each other would mean more than your lack of money.

Further, you only have one year of uni left. And after that you can get at least a median income job (depending on what you're studying). 1. One year is not a long time, and 2. You can usually live quite comfortably on a median-income salary.
In other words, you are probably not going to be a poor student for long.

Just some things to think about.

Regardless of this, I think a valid reason to not want a relationship right now would be if you wanted to live for a while by yourself and have your own life experiences before settling down. Is this the case for you?

>It's culmination of many factors. Health/finances/life outlook etc. I can never live together with someone.
quit being an edgelord and spit out what's wrong

I'm sure it's rough or whatever but she'd probably be happy to accommodate it and help out, you dunce. Let yourself be happy.

>>18035919
>be confident in yourself
My problem is not insecurity. I am confident enough to deal with the hardships in my life, the same hardships that keep me from having a relationship. I'm not some emo tripping juvenile with a lack of confidence, but being rational about hard facts here. Again, I can't list all my burdens here and despite this being an anonymous board, I still feel uncomfortable to elaborate about the details, which would be a whole paragraph in itself.

>>18035941
>I think a valid reason to not want a relationship right now would be if you wanted to live for a while by yourself and have your own life experiences before settling down. Is this the case for you?
No, not at all.

I guess it's time to eject myself from this thread. Everything worth saying has been said, and I thank everyone of you for your input, though it has not opened any new perspectives for me. After all, we're just anomalies, forming organisms with a shared collective reality for a short duration, before our bodies redistribute the energies back to the planet we stem from. It's just another heart ache that will soon mean nothing in the grand scheme of the universe. There is no reason for us to be sad. Cheers guys!

>I can't list all my burdens here
It's no wonder your life is so hard when you can't even deliver

Enjoy your miserable life inside your head, faghat. Maybe ask for her number if you want anything to change someday

Op why do you talk like your in some fucking anime.

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>>18036013
Because he wants attention for his "problem" and can't follow through.

This thread's topic isn't a real issue and he won't talk about the things that actually appear to BE an issue in his life. He doesn't want any resolution. He just wants someone to talk to, probably because his life is feeling a little weird and blah at the moment- maybe it's depression- and this tiny source of tension is at least something to feel some positive conflict and struggle about. And it's why he'll probably never either ask the qt out OR follow through on this thread and stop her; he's going to just wallow around in his own mind and leave it. Maybe make a new thread next week when he hits the next baby step towards any simple realization occurs because that's his idea of execution.

Fuck yeah I'm projecting! Ask her out, OP, you piece of shit. You haven't said you didn't want to, you've just said that this is what needs to happen or whatever BS. This isn't some predestined occurrence, Naruto.

>>18035969
Jeremy?

Why not talk to her, tell her that, but pursue a relationship?

Tell her that you'd like to get to know her (if you're into her) and keep it low key, low stress. Best of both worlds - get laid on weekends, focus during the weekdays.