building a social life from scratch

bump for interest

>>18034959
interested, I'm living in another city where I know nobody. Can't go back home because shitty job opportunities.

You don't. Forced interaction is the only way people make friends. If you've spent all of those years burning bridges, what makes you think new groups of established understanding are going to want to bring a potentially volatile stranger in? Unless you or someone in the group is rich/ wealthy and can do to make mistakes and take chances, this doesn't happen. Once you're an adult, everything is about maintaining what you've got and is why people don't respect gamblers. If you still think you have time and money to throw away after 21, you're the problem. Fix that first and try to make up with your old friends; nobody wants to help an adult baby.

>>18035007
So I should forgive them cunts

>>18035007
Well shit lol

What if you come from an environment where making friends wasn't an option, so you never learned how to do it, but now live/work in an environment where there are a load of people to make friends with? How do you approach them if you are an adult that never had real friends?

>>18034959

Ask yourself a question. Would you hang around with you? If not... then why would others want to hang around you.

Bars and jobs?

>>18035012
Maybe it's not them who need forgiving.
>>18035014
In this case, it's kind of like dating. Because you don't have any references saying you're not insane, you kind of have to prove to these people one by one that you aren't. That means taking someone out for drinks/ a meal and not saying/ doing anything damning for the first 3-4 times so they can get accustomed to your style. Then, you can slowly work your own comedy and wit into the mix. Gotta remember that we live in a post-fear world where everyone wants security in everything and barely takes risks. Things severely changed after 2001. Kids don't play out in the streets and meet strangers anymore and people are nothing more than giant children. This being said, avoid adult social spots like bars and clubs because everyone who attends these places are exactly that; giant scared children.

>>18035045
Thanks anon.


But seriously those guys were being dicks

>>18034959
HOW TO FIND FRIENDS

Don't look for friends.

Look for activities. Join a club, take a class, do volunteer work, join a gym, go to concerts, hang out at a coffee shop or comic book store.

Be among people doing the same thing. Chatting will be natural, and some chats will turn into friendships.

I took a beginners cooking class at a CC. We were all terrible, and laughed at each other and at ourselves. Some of us went for coffee after. We eventually formed a Mutual Poisoning Association, taking turns cooking for each other

>>18035007

This is bullshit. You can absolutely make friends as an adult as well, my mother met her best friend at work and now almost 30 years later they're still friends. But yeah, work is probably a good bet, especially if your work is something you actually have interest in.

>>18035052
>Mutual Poisoning Association
Aww that's so sweet

>>18035007
FUCK that. You can alway meet new people, and acting like the people you were stuck with once are the only ones you're ever going to see is retarded. It is true that you cant expect to automatically meet new people unless you do more things that put people in a room together, but that's no reason to be like "hurr durr guess I'm stuck with these people no matter what I do, better go crawling back and know my place."

>>18035052 is right, go do something, get a hobby and find a place to meet people who have the same, or try doing something with coworkers after work. Anything that gives an excuse to talk to somebody.